


Invincible.

by Yui_Miyamoto



Series: Invincible [1]
Category: Initial D
Genre: Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on LiveJournal, F/M, M/M, Non-Explicit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:47:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 83,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27141308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yui_Miyamoto/pseuds/Yui_Miyamoto
Summary: Ryousuke suddenly appears at Takumi ‘s house to ask him a favor, but is there something underlying his request?
Relationships: Fujiwara Takumi/Takahashi Ryousuke, Fujiwara Takumi/Uehara Mika, Iwase Kyoko/Takahashi Keisuke, Kaori/Takahashi Ryousuke
Series: Invincible [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984720
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. No one touches legends.

**Disclaimer: Sure, Initial D isn’t mine, but I admit I’m quite addicted to it.  
  
**  
His back.  
  
The thing I remembered most whenever I stared out of my car window was his perfectly poised back. He was always holding his arms together, constantly analyzing whatever was before him and beyond. So if he opened his mouth, it was sure to be important.  
But listening was difficult sometimes because his voice was kind of distracting, especially if I felt sleepy. I’d catch myself before I yawned so that Fumihiro wouldn’t clear his throat and eye me. He was a little scarier than Ryousuke when it came to the team.  
_  
So what were you doing in front of me? In the middle of my own living room?  
_  
I couldn’t even step through the threshold of my own house as he stood tall with his white jacket. Then, the house creaked under my foot and he turned around to look at me. It wasn’t until that moment that I really saw him under the lamp light and realized…  
_  
You look so out of place in my world.  
_  
“Fujiwara.”  
His face softened.  
“Hi…” I gestured for him to sit down at the table and went to the kitchen for some tea to buy some time.  
  
He’s so confusing. Why was someone who supposedly had everything doing street racing? What could he possibly need from someone like me? Project D was already over…  
  
And I didn’t ever see that guy smile. He was always observing everything.  
If he wasn’t watching what was going on, he’d be on his laptop typing. The clicking replaced talking. I got used to hearing him continuously type and that would mean that he hadn’t found his answer so we were extra careful not to disturb him. Or if he was ‘struggling’, then we had a fifty-fifty chance that he’d be okay to approach for a question or other. Maybe eating...something I knew he didn’t do much of because he was always working. Studying…reading…  
Thinking all the time. I don’t even remember him sleeping very much.  
  
Since the beginning, I really admired him. I thought he was so much better than me because I drifted off all the time, thinking about what should I say to the girls I liked, what I’d do when I’d get home, what time my part-time jobs were…  
  
…and worrying about what would I do when all this was over.  
  
Now, that time had come. After constantly practicing and caring for the ‘86, I had finally chosen to become a professional.  
_  
Why did you have to show up now that I’ve decided?  
_  
I came back into the room to find him looking at his phone. When he glanced up at me with the tray, I got even more nervous. I knew he always watched everything, but I felt he was truly staring at me. His eyes even looked at my hands as I handed over a cup.  
  
Sitting across him, I clenched my hands under the table.  
  
“I’m sorry to bother you as you were packing.” He took a sip from his cup and put it down on the table. He held the cup in between his hands.  
“Oh, so you heard from Keisuke? Yeah, I decided to move to Aichi and start from there.”  
Then, for the first time, he smiled. “Yes, because you are a Trueno owner.”  
“That would mean you’d have to move to Hiroshima if it were you.” I joked back.  
“Yes…if it were me…” He looked at the table.  
I wasn’t sure if he meant to answer me or if he was thinking aloud.  
  
I wanted to ask him why. Why wasn’t he satisfied when he seemed so perfect? But I wasn’t the type to ask things like that though. And no matter how much time we’ve spent around one another, I had no confidence to.  
I didn’t even do that with my old man. Who knows what that guy had done before I was born? After that race where he tricked me to join for him, I had had no idea my boring dad with his tofu was pretty much THE legend of these streets.  
  
That guy. The one who got peeved if the bean curd broke when he wasn’t careful?  
  
My hands began to throb as I found myself watching his face so intently.  
_  
What would you and my father have in common anyway?  
_  
“I know you’re wondering why. I can tell by your face.” His eyes rose until he looked straight at me. “Just because others tell you that you’re a genius, does that mean you really are?”  
I blinked at him.  
“I didn’t race to prove it to anyone else. It was only for myself. But after that day, I knew I was wrong.” He stopped holding onto his cup and calmly put his hands into his lap.  
  
“From the day I saw you, I came face to face that my reasons were superficial.”  
  
My mind went blank. What was he-  
  
“From the way you drove, I could tell…” And without warning, his right hand reached out for my chin. “You never sought after anyone’s approval.”  
I could feel my face burning the instant he touched me. I was embarrassed, but I couldn’t turn away, moved by the weight of his words.  
  
I was even more puzzled by them the more that they sank in. Was he praising me for my indifference? But now, I understood that it wasn’t apathy on my part. I didn’t really care until he challenged me. He had been the one to say I had ‘talent’.  
_  
Before or after, no matter who I raced, deep inside, I was always battling your shadow. I felt that if I failed, I wouldn’t be able to race you again.  
In the back of my mind, I feared when I’d lose the one thing that connected us together.  
_  
“But…” I stammered.  
“Your talent…Natural or earned, if combined,” he leaned in a bit further. “It becomes invincible. That’s what you now possess.”  
_  
Why are you telling me this now?  
_  
Nothing came out of my mouth.  
Ryousuke let go of my chin and sat down again. My heartbeats were on edge.  
  
“I have to ask you a favor.”  
“I don’t understand why you’d want anything from me.”  
_  
You have status, a family name, and the intelligence.  
The only thing I have is my car. I’m very proud of what we’ve done and I wear Project D as my pride, but I never know what you’re thinking.  
I don’t know if I ever became the image you thought I’d be through this project.  
_  
Looking at him now, I’d felt more and more numb.  
  
“There is a course I want you to test.”  
  
I gave him a curious look.  
  
“Why me?”  
“Because I want you to beat my record.”  
  
Those ever persistent eyes…  
No matter how many times I’d seen them, for a split second, they still made me forget where I was, and erase any doubt I’d had of myself. “Your record? You can’t mean…”  
  
“Yes, the one in Hakone,” he finished.  
  
My eyebrows rose. Was he being serious? It was like I was picking my own grave if I did something like that. There was arrogance all over that move.  
  
“I want you to beat it. Without my aid, can you beat my record, Fujiwara?”  
  
It was as if he was telling me, “THIS is what I truly trained you for.”  
_  
Did you set this up from the very beginning?  
From the time you gave me those flowers?  
_  
  
I thought of Wataru, and how he’d called me the only freak who would do that crazy stunt when those imposters appeared.  
Am I the only one stupid enough to do these things?  
_  
No one touches legends.  
  
And you never betray someone on your own team. Even at their own request.  
  
It’s a guy’s code.  
_  
“It’s undisputed. You’re my team leader. I don’t understand why-“  
“Then you’ll fail everything from here with your own doubt.”  
I looked at him and breathed in deeply. I didn’t want to sigh and confirm to him that he knew where to always hit me.  
  
Somehow, he could always see right through me.  
  
He got up and stood up in front of me.  
“Two weeks.”  
“Two?”  
  
Without waiting for an answer, he put his hand on my right cheek.  
“Thank you.”  
Then, just like that he nodded his head politely and left as if it was the most natural thing.  
  
I opened my mouth to protest and then closed it again.  
  
It was okay as a team, but even if I held titles too, it was still not the same.  
  
His one legendary race after how many years, I even called Keisuke about it because I was so worried. I couldn’t tell anyone how I lost sleep over it.  
  
I’m…  
What is he…  
We both know that I…  
  
…am still no comparison to him. How much experience did he have? And the more he knew, he could connect it all together. Was I there yet? Talent was a word that floated around me but I never understood. Who…what could I compare myself to? I couldn’t even ask my old man how he met my mom and that was related directly to me, so how could I ask this person to explain it if he understood everything from any view?  
_  
I know I’m not there yet!  
_  
My eyes wandered to his empty tea cup.  
  
There was a part of me that crumbled when I thought of him beyond being Project D’s leader.  
  
That was the ‘me’ I couldn’t handle.  
  
**  
Tsuzuku…(To be continued…)**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been quite a while since I’ve written and to tell the truth, the only reason I started here (Initial D) is because it is a place that I know will get my blood boiling. Many things have happened so I hope that through this fic I’ll be able to find the answers and tell the truths I have found with this life. (And I miss going to Gunma.)
> 
> I hope that you enjoy it!
> 
> Until next read…
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	2. My reality.

**Disclaimer – My fangirling brought me here even though Initial D doesn’t belong to me.  
  
**  
“What are you staring off at?” My old man said as he came down from his room.  
I didn’t know how long I’d been standing there, but I was still stunned by Ryosuke’s words. Not to mention there was no way I could hide my tomato face.  
 _  
I know I wasn’t imagining all of his affection.  
_  
Trying to act normal, I shook my head. “Nothing.”  
He noticed that Ryousuke was already gone. “He left so quickly? It looked like he really needed something.”  
Shrugging his shoulders, he took a step forward to get ready for the new shipment of ingredients for tomorrow morning’s tofu run.  
  
“He wants me to race him again.”  
My old man stopped but didn’t turn around to face me. “Oh?”  
I couldn’t tell if he was amused by me or the whole situation.  
“He left without hearing my answer. He thinks I’ll just go.”  
“Well, aren’t you?”  
“Yes.”  
“Then, what are you whining about?”  
  
So many things came to my mind at the same time that I didn’t know how to reply back. I began to feel even more frustrated with myself.  
  
“Remember, he gave you all of his time, money and effort.”  
  
Walking to the front and into the store, I could almost hear him say, “The reason you’re where you are now _is because of him_.”  
  
I took the tray with the cups and teapot back into the kitchen. As I washed the rim of his cup, I sighed.  
  
My dad hit the nail on the head.  
  
I guess that’s where Ryousuke and he were alike.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
It was no good at all.  
  
I tried to clean my room, but I couldn’t concentrate at all. I stood in the middle of piles of paper and things I wished I had thrown away years ago. What happened yesterday morning just wouldn’t stop repeating inside my head.  
  
I seemed to be hypnotized by the eyes that looked right into me. Ryousuke seemed to know what I truly thought.  
  
Then or now.  
  
But wasn’t everything purely business? At Project D, we never really talked about personal matters.  
I wasn’t sure about their family situation either except for the rumors or the few things I picked up here and there when I was around them. I always think that if information isn’t offered, it isn’t my business to know.  
  
That’s why this was a curve ball from nowhere.  
  
The guy who touched my face wasn’t the stern stoic that stood a little ahead of me.  
 _  
When no one was around, was that how you really thought of me?  
  
Almost a year and a half ago, you only sent a note to challenge me. Then, when you praised me, you were already going towards your car. You were facing away from me when you said you wanted my technique for your team. All this time, I watched and listened to you about how to improve our team,  
  
but you were still out of reach.  
  
When you came back from Hakone, I knew something was different, but I couldn’t ask what had happened.  
  
What does all that have to do with me anyway?  
  
I can usually brush things off, but you’re the only one who always gets me so flustered! Why should I care so much about what you think about me?  
_  
Looking at the mess I’d made all over my floor, I then stepped over it and closed the door behind me.  
I took the keys from the small stand in the living room and passed my dad saying I was going out. He lifted his chin and grunted in response.  
Before I knew it, I was already crossing the lake and down the familiar pass.  
  
Whenever I got stressed, I drove. I smiled to myself because now all I thought of was driving. A long time ago, I didn’t care and thought it was so troublesome, but now, it was everything to me.  
It made me feel alive, that life was moving inside my little town.  
While going down the first corner of Akina, I started to think about how long we’d been together.  
  
The ’86 was my sibling. It was always there with me. When I was three, I was incredibly shy so I used to just hang out with our car. I took naps on the hood like a cat out in the sun. My dad used to scold me to come inside before I caught a cold because there were times I didn’t want to leave. I’d cry a lot before he picked me up and forced me to come inside.  
My favorite thing was cleaning it every single Saturday. Then, it was shiny all over again for the week. And if it ever got a dent, I would whine to put a band aid on it. Somehow, at that time, my old man went along with my stupidity.  
  
I may not have liked driving so much before, but I loved our car.  
  
I didn’t even think as I turned the corners of the hairpins and went down all the way to Ikaho. But today, I went further down and all the way to Shibukawa Station, pulling to the side of the road.  
“I should go back and finish everything,” I tried to convince myself, but my body refused to move. I glanced over at the phone in the passenger’s seat. I closed my eyes and my hand reached out for it.  
Almost glaring at my own phone, I averted my eyes away to look at the path that led to the other mountain.  
  
Why can’t I just talk to Itsuki and the others? What’s so hard about this? It’s like déjà vu anyway. Normally, the first person I’d talk to was Itsuki because he was so straight-forward. He’d be the optimist that countered my unspoken doubts. Sure, I was busier because of everything, especially Project D, but things hadn’t changed…  
  
…or had they?  
  
What the hell was wrong with me?  
  
I looked for Mika’s name in my phone book, but I couldn’t push the call button either. So, I put the phone down and went in the direction opposite from home.  
I gripped onto the steering wheel tighter than usual.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
Why am I here?  
  
I sat near the reception desk and looked up at the ceiling.  
  
If it weren’t for Keisuke’s help, I don’t think I would’ve understood how to even come to this hospital.  
  
Yet again, I wondered, “Why was I doing this to myself?”  
  
I know if Itsuki were here and knew why, he’d just pat my back and encourage me as he always did. Then, he’d give me that pep talk I was never opposed to listening to.  
  
I lowered my eyes to look around and there was Ryousuke quickly walking from one hall to another. I knew he was still an intern, but he didn’t look like one at all.  
Then, someone came up to him and said something that, by his gestures, looked angry. The man quickly went away with a grave expression on his face.  
  
I saw Ryousuke look down to the ground for a moment and then his face turned back to the usual business-like one.  
  
Turning away, I pretended not to see and waited.  
  
After five more minutes, he stood in front of me.  
“Oh. It’s you, Fujiwara.”  
His shoulders lowered.  
 _  
After yesterday, how can you look relieved to see me?  
_  
“I know you’re really busy, but I needed to talk to you.”  
He shook his head. “You’re not a bother.”  
 _  
“Remember, he gave you all of his time, money and effort.”_  
I gulped, recalling my father’s words as they overlapped with yours, _“Don’t be satisfied with just the small stage of Akina. There’s a wider world to gaze at.”_  
  
“Let’s go to the vending machines reserved for the staff members.” He led me down the very hallway he’d come from and we walked into a small bluish-white room with two machines in front of us.  
When I was going to take out my wallet, he grabbed my hand. He gave it a quick squeeze while shaking his head. “It’s on me.”  
  
Ryosuke let go of me and looked at the drinks. “What do you want?”  
“Lemon tea.”  
“Okay.”  
He handed me the drink.  
“Thanks.”  
I watched his profile as he got himself a hot black coffee.  
  
I knew he didn’t have so much time, but I was still in disbelief that I had come all the way to see him. What was I expecting from all this?  
  
I turned the cap of my bottle.  
“I’m sorry for leaving so abruptly after making such a request.”  
“No, you don’t have to apologize.” I took a sip of my drink. “I’m confused because I already beat your record when you raced me on Akina.”  
He pulled the tab of his coffee can. Pop! “Maybe I will tell you why after we race.”  
  
I twisted the cap back onto my bottle.  
“Why not Keisuke? Why does it have to be me?”  
  
Some people passed by and he drank the rest of his can. Then, he threw it into the recycle bin. Again, he had his back towards me. “She made me look for my dream.”  
  
“She?”  
  
He took a few steps towards me. I found myself taking a step back and into the wall.  
 _  
What have you really been thinking about me all this time?  
_  
He placed his hand on the right side of my face, just enough that it brushed my ear.  
  
“But you helped me truly believe in it. You made it my reality.”  
  
Pushing his palm into the wall, he looked at me so intensely that I forgot to breathe.  
  
“That’s why it has to be you.”  
  
I came all the way here...to hear this...  
  
But if he said something after this, I couldn’t hear anything because my whole body was pulsating. I could only hear my heart vibrating into my ears.  
  
 **Tsuzuku.../To be continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I admit it. I have to put some service to keep me going through the day. This fic has been plaguing me since yesterday. I don’t know why, but this is much longer than I expected it to be.
> 
> I’ve been playing the game for a long time now. I don’t know but it’s one of the few games that gets me very excited. Sitting there for an hour, I could be sweating from the adrenaline rush.  
> But it’s true, when you’re driving, it’s all on you. I think those guys are always thinking. I know that Takumi’s a quiet guy along with Ryosuke, but I don’t think either of them are as calm inside as they project themselves to be on the outside.
> 
> I loved making this chapter.
> 
> I really hope you enjoyed this.
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	3. Shades of my heart.

**Disclaimer- Addicted to Initial D, though I don’t own it, I’ve resorted to doing this fic.**

Somewhere through the muffle inside my head, I had a flash of Natsuki and the guy in the Benz. And how I hadn’t forgiven her at that time.

Mika.  
 _  
But I still want to know. I want to see a glimpse of the world inside your mind.  
_  
Calmly, Ryousuke pushed himself away from me. “My shift ends at 8, but I can meet you here afterwards.”  
He took out a small white pad and a blue pen from his coat pocket. After writing something down, he handed it to me.  
I read the address. “Where’s this?”  
“It’s my house.”

My eyes widened in disbelief.

Afterwards, he took a key from his black pant pocket. “Let yourself in and wait for me there.”

I took the key from his open palm, surprised my body was even moving at this point when my brain was already gone.  
 _  
How come I can’t ever say no to you?  
_  
“I have to get back now.”  
All I could do was slowly nod as he turned to leave. On his way out, he said, “Thanks.”

Again, just like that, he was gone, leaving me more bewildered.

*/*/*/*/*/00000

Somehow, I was able to get to the parking lot, but as soon as I sat in my seat, I sighed and put my phone on the passenger seat. I pushed my forehead onto the steering wheel and took a very deep breath. Then, I sat up straight again and shook my head at how illogical all this was. Reaching into my pocket, I took out the key and put it into the ignition switch.

Ring! Ring! My phone began vibrating along with the ringing. I saw Itsuki’s face on the screen so I pushed the screen to receive the call.  
“Hi.”  
“Takumi! Where have you been? When you didn’t answer my texts, I thought you’d fallen off the planet.”  
“Sorry, but there were more things to do for this move than I thought.”  
“Do you need help? I can ask the others so we can have some time before you go.” Then, he began to sniff. “Take me with you!”  
My lips couldn’t help but smile. Leave it to Itsuki to be supportive, emotional, and comforting.  
 _  
Besides the ’86, you are my other brother.  
_  
“Sure.” Thinking of the pile and wanting to throw it against the wall even if I was a calm person, I welcomed the help. “When can you come over?”  
“I have a day off tomorrow afternoon.”  
“Okay, just swing by my house then.”  
“All right!” There was a pause. “Hey, don’t worry about moving. We’re just here. You happen to be the one going for all of us, Takumi.”

My eyes fell to my lap, humbled in a single instant.  
He was right though. Having only lived in one house, the whole thing was exciting yet extremely stressful. I’ve never been too far from my little town either. I wonder how it’ll be...

“Yes.”

*/*/*/*/*/00000

The sun was setting when I left the hospital, so by the time I reached Ryosuke’s house, it was very dark. Only main streets, like the ones nearest to Maebashi station were lit, but the further I left, it was like my home area. I was glad for the GPS system on my phone.

I found a large house with no lights and I almost passed it if it weren’t for the fact that my headlights flashed on the “Takahashi” name plate.  
I slowly got out of my car and stared at the house in front of me. After closing the door, my eyes turned upward at how large it was.  
 _  
I have to go deliver the tofu tomorrow, and there is still a lot of things I need to prepare, but here I am instead.  
_  
It was famous that their family was really well off because of their clinic, but I was overwhelmed that both brothers were modest in that sense. They never flashed what they had. They earned this reputation by skill alone.

Finally, I found the resolve to walk to the front door and take out the key to open it. For a good minute, I fumbled in the darkness. When I actually got it open, the next obstacle was to find the nearest light switch.  
My right hand patted the wall.  
“Oh good.”  
When I turned the lights on, I closed the door behind me and took off my shoes at the genkan. But then, I almost didn’t want to go into the wide living room because it was almost sparkling. There was a beige couch on an immaculate white rug. Even the lamp stands were three huge white flowers with golden borders where you touched them to turn them on. A deep brown-colored table stood in the middle. A large digital television hung against one of the walls.  
I looked on to see the dining room with a round glass table and four blue steel chairs. A handmade cuckoo clock hung on the wall next to a cupboard with too many breakable things.

I was curious about the kitchen, but I went to the couch instead, feeling the full force of having no sleep. My eyes again searched the room from left to right and now, I began to understand more and more about Ryousuke and Keisuke’s situation.

Not knowing what else to do, I got the remote from the table and turned on the tv. I usually had no time to watch so I didn’t know what was on. I ended up watching a variety show with manzai performers.

The couch was so comfortable that I couldn’t help but close my eyes.

*/*/*/*/*/00000

When I woke up, I found a solid red fleece blanket over me. The television was still on with the volume lowered down. The cuckoo clock read 10:21 and somewhere off in the distance, a soft sound of recognizable clicking ensued.  
I got up and folded the blanket before following the sound of the computer keys. It led me to one side of the house where the stairs were. At the end of the hall on the second floor, one room had some light coming out of it.  
I gently knocked on the door.

“Come in.”  
When I pushed the door open, the clicking stopped. Ryousuke had his legs crossed. His left arm on his chair and his right one on his desk.  
Compared to downstairs, this room was warm. The bed had yellow-gold sheets and his curtains were light orange. As expected, there were shelves of books and reports, except for one, which held pictures frames. But that was it. One desk with his desktop and his laptop side by side.  
Nothing in this room suggested he was a racer at all, except for the small Tomika FD and a handmade clay car of an FC in a plastic box, the kind that were used by figurine collectors. The cars were next to the lamp by his bed.

His room was as sharp and neat as the clothes he always wore.  
Everything was in its place,

almost too perfectly.

“You could have woken me up,” I said as he gestured for me to sit on the bed. I sat on the edge closest to the door.  
“It was nice to have someone in the living room.”  
“And before I forget, I’d better hand you this.” I gave him back his key as he turned his chair to type some things on his keyboard. I watched him looking at a bigger computer screen than the one on his laptop, which I was used to from the races.

There were two videos starting simultaneously.  
“This is what I wanted to show you.” His chair was halfway facing me and the computer screen.

The one on the left had a man in a racing uniform on Suzuka Circuit while the one on the right was hidden in his car on the streets. The more we watched, I began to realize that they were our streets.

Both videos looked like they had been converted from old VHS tapes. The left was from a tv program, but the one on the right were obviously home videos.

Then, I began to recognize the famous driver on the left. He looked like my father’s friend, the one that he’d point to on the tv when I was little.

The driver on the right was a genius, but did so many dangerous moves, I couldn’t ignore him at all. When the race on Akagi ended, the driver stepped out of the car.

I shouted, “My dad?!”

“Someone was able to preserve this from almost 25 years ago.”  
“Who shot this?”  
“My mother.”

The video with my dad kept on playing a little more, sweeping across the audience as they waved.

“My mom…” I recognized her in the crowd and leaned back, pushing onto the mattress with both of my hands. Flooded with flashbacks, my mouth became dry. After everything, my dad and I couldn’t ever talk about her without getting upset.  
But there she was laughing happily at him as she hit the back of his head. She hugged him right after though. She was bursting with energy, the complete opposite of his calm demeanor.

The clips ended.

“I found these in the house after I met Sempai. It must have been fate.” He swiveled his chair towards his desk. “This is why I wanted to be at the professional level, but not on a circuit.”

Ryousuke took a deep breath and began to type again. Multiple screens appeared and he lined them up to read all of them.

My eyes began to roam around his room again. Then, they focused on him once more.  
 _  
How long have you tried to stop being perfect?  
Looking at you like this, you aren’t as complicated as we made you out to be.  
_  
Without thinking, something made me get up from the bed and stand behind him. Before I knew it, I found myself wrapping my arms around his shoulders.  
“Don’t you ever stop working, Ryousuke-san?”

He lifted his fingers from the keyboard and closed his eyes, leaning onto my arms.  
 **  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just realized a few days ago the real reason why I love Initial D. I think it’s because it really captures a guy’s perspective of life, from young to old. And the characters, no matter who is racing, is pure in some way and flawed in another, which doesn’t make them untouchable.  
> To tell the truth, as much as I love yaoi, I really did like the female characters for this series too. (Mako and Sayuri are great drivers but with good personalities, and Kyouko who I really love because she really saw into Keisuke’s character. I even love Natsuki because she tried to change herself.)  
> I don’t know what is it about this fic that just gets my heart going. When I finish a chapter, I just stare and read it again before I upload it.  
> God, I truly love this pairing.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Love,  
> Yui


	4. the human factor.

**Disclaimer- My obsession with the three main boys of Initial D led me to making this fic though I don’t own this title.  
  
**

****

****

  
Looking down at the crown of his head, I wondered what to do.  
  
As much as I loved to challenge myself with these battles, he and I were not on the same plane. Wataru and Keisuke both told me I was the only one who would voluntarily do the impossible, but for me, it was only a line. I could clearly see what I could and could not do. I don’t know if that’s because of being with my dad and enjoying riding with him on the ’86 when I was a kid or delivering the tofu since middle school.  
Thinking about it this way, Ryousuke was on a completely different level. He not only studied mechanics, driving techniques, and planning strategies, he kept finding countless ways to push himself beyond the limit. He created his own theory all together.  
  
What made him go this far?  
Why was he so focused on disassembling every part of the game?  
  
_That’s why when you first challenged me, I kept on looking at the date, worrying to no end. I didn’t want to run away nor did I want to back down. Worst of all, I didn’t want to disappoint you because you were giving everything to the battle while I was barely getting interested in driving.  
It didn’t seem fair somehow so that’s why when you said I was fast, I still couldn’t believe what had happened.  
  
Even afterwards, I didn’t know what to do with you and Itsuki was the one person who told me the words I wish I believed for myself. _  
  
“The time I’ve spent with you…” He pushed his forehead even more into my arms. “…it wasn’t ever work to me.”  
If any other person had said that to me, I think I would have thought they were kidding, but knowing Ryousuke’s personality, I gulped because things were starting to sink in.  
Loose strings were connecting in ways I thought hadn’t existed.  
  
_The night we won at Hakone, Keisuke and I were in the cabin cleaning up, ready to check out.  
  
He was holding onto one of the boxes with his left arm and held the handle of the door with his right hand.  
I was right behind him, exhausted but satisfied.  
“I envy you.”  
“Keisuke-san...” I had no idea where that came from.  
“He didn’t even tell me he was racing here.  
You and his Sempai. You both get to race him and see what he truly is.”  
  
His words pushed right into me.  
  
The irritated voice was very clear: “Why can’t I see it too?”  
  
“Out of all of us, you know him the best.”  
I could see his hand gripping even harder over the knob. Holding onto the box between my hands, I took a slow deep breath.  
“When he taught me how to race, instead of kicking my ass like my parents, he showed me the downhill. That brother wasn’t the person I grew up with. He wasn’t the ideal son who could do no wrong.”  
Before I could think of anything to say, Keisuke turned the knob and said before going out, “That’s my real Aniki.”  
  
The door closed and my eyes lingered on it for a second.  
  
Don’t you know we’re both competing with that guy behind all his theories?_  
  
“I still think you overestimate me.”  
  
_I raced with you in Project D, but it’s not enough. You took care of everything.  
  
I tested your data, but you gave me all the knowledge.  
Somehow, it still seemed unfair._  
  
He lifted his head up and pulled my left arm as his chair turned half way to meet me in the middle. I stood in front of him and he took a firm hold of my forearms. His hands were very warm.  
Looking up at me, he said, “The space between talent and genius…anyone can do something for a long time, but to keep finding a new answer every day, that is where it will never be routine. That is what I call the human factor.”  
  
Tugging me a little closer towards him, Ryousuke took a slightly tighter grip on my arms. ”No matter how many trajectories I’ll make, it’s all just theory until you can actually put them into reality.”  
Without warning, he began to smile, looking deeper into me. “But it’s different for you. If you can imagine it, you immediately create it.”  
  
_I had never seen such a peaceful expression on that face before._  
  
“That…that is something only you and Keisuke can do.”  
  
Then, it clicked and everything began to fall into their distinctive places.  
  
_The reason you’re not bored with me yet is because you haven’t figured me out. Or rather, because the last piece of advice you gave in the battle at Hakone was not entirely fool-proof, you’re still trying to conquer the Downhill Specialist.  
All the other aspects of your game have been settled except for this variable._  
  
“I’ve followed you because you saw the person I could become.”  
Something was draining away from me and slowly turning my body into ice. More and more, I was opening that part of me I tried to ignore when I was around Ryousuke.  
“But I understand now. My talent is all you were looking at.”  
  
_It had nothing to do with me at all.  
  
Why was a small part of me hoping for that anyway? I really hate how I could think that was even possible...  
Especially when I had Mika.  
  
I misinterpreted everything. How could I have been this stupid?_  
  
“That’s why I’m not work to you.” I pushed his hands away from my arms and made sure we were seeing eye-to-eye. “You’re obsessed with the driver of the ‘86 who defeated you in Akina.”  
  
_Wasn’t that it after all this time?_  
  
“No, that’s not it at all.” Coolly, Ryousuke shook his head. “You don’t know how many years it took me to find you.”  
  
_Why do I feel this disappointed?_  
  
Glancing over at his monitor, I saw both of my parents in the frozen video capture. Pointing my head to the ground, I closed my eyes.  
I could feel him watching my face.  
  
_I can’t believe what an idiot I am to come here._  
  
“You knew from the beginning I was his son, didn’t you?”  
  
Of course he knew. His information network’s so wide it’s scary.  
  
I opened my eyes to stare into his again, hoping he would say otherwise.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Stepping away from him, I bowed my head. “Thanks for letting me come, and see you in Hakone next week.”  
  
I left before he could say anything else.  
  
Walking out of his bedroom door, I silently went down the stairs, through the living room, put my shoes on at the genkan and exited the front door. I got to my car and drove away, dully feeling the steering wheel in between my hands.  
  
As I was speeding down the street, I took one last glance back through the side mirror.  
  
Ryousuke was standing at his balcony.  
  
I wasn’t going to convince myself that there was anything more to it.  
  
**Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As mature as he is, I’ve got to keep in mind that Takumi is still just 18/19-ish. There are experiences that Ryousuke has had that Takumi doesn’t get just because of that.
> 
> I know the story is moving slow, but I like going into what they are thinking because I want to know what their motivation is. It took me many years until I was convinced (by many people) to watch Initial D. A few years later, I went to Akina/Haruna or Akagi alternately every year just to see how they represented the characters. So I get really excited when I discover something new about them while writing.  
> Gunma is sunny and the people are wonderful. I have happy thoughts about it so I hope that I can convey those thoughts here, loving the characters to death.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	5. Hero.

**Disclaimer- Addicted to Initial D, though I don’t own it, I’ve resorted to doing this fic.  
  
**  
Everything was blurry.  
  
I came home around midnight and miraculously got up to deliver the tofu, but when I came back from the run, I passed out.  
Now more than ever, I was just going through the motions. And I didn’t know how to talk to my dad about the video or Ryousuke so I stayed in my room. My brain was very groggy, but somehow, I was able to restart cleaning my room.   
  
Throw, keep, or useful.  
It seemed simple but two of my weaknesses were keeping gifts people gave me, and keeping things that seemed to be useful for some unforeseen day.   
  
I continued to rummage through my room until I got to a small box that I kept at the corner of my closet. I thought about it once in a while, and only took it out then. Right in front of it had been Natsuki’s letters and the keychains she gave me even when she went to Tokyo. That was until she let me go, writing that I was the person who had changed her life and she knew that I’d be loyal but it was okay not to wait for each other.   
  
Kneeling and pulling the last box out, I sneezed into the dust. I sat by the closet crosslegged and took it into my lap.  
  
Multiple pictures of my mom looked back at me as I unfolded the box. In the video, she had long brown hair, but with me, she had really short hair, almost like a boy’s.   
Taking one photo in between my fingers, I tried to see myself in her, and then I would glance at my dad.   
_  
“Go and spend time with him,” she said as she tried to finish her paperwork.  
I was in the living room staring up at him as he looked down at me. He rubbed his chin and then said as she pushed the numbers into the electronic calculator, “I-“  
“GO.”  
  
With that, he took me over to the front to put my shoes on. I sat at the genkan as he waited for me to pull the velcro over my shoes.  
Taking my hand, we walked outside. I wasn’t quite sure what we were going to do. Usually if we went outside together, it was either to go to kindergarten or the supermarket.  
He rounded the counter and opened the passenger door. After helping me climb in, I sat in the chair and watched as he went around the hood to open the door and sit on the driver’s side.  
The first thing he pointed to was the stick shift, telling me the gears as I read the numbers.   
“And what is R?”  
“Reverse.”  
“Good.”  
“N?”  
“Neutral!”  
I had no idea what I was saying, but he seemed to be pleased.  
  
After a few minutes, we got out of the car and went to the hood. He lifted it up and looked around. I began to climb up, but he picked me up, so I sat on his arm, leaning on him.  
“If she sees you standing there on the bumper, she’ll kill me.”  
Dad pointed at the various car parts that day, especially the oil stick. I slowly learned their names.  
  
He put me down and I ran into the house to tell my mom the words I’d just learned.  
  
“That’s how you spent your time together?” She held me in her lap and shook her head as I pressed the calculator buttons, fascinated by the sound. The rolling paper got longer and longer.  
_  
I put the picture down and brought out a small yellow notebook. I opened the first page:  
“Today, came back from the hospital. The baby’s sleeping in Bunta’s lap, but he’s nodding off too. I should be the one sleeping!   
  
I’m just glad we’re healthy.”  
  
Closing the notebook, I put it back into the box and folded the flaps once more.  
These were only the things she gave to me. I was very sure that my old man had many of her things in his closet, most probably better preserved than my collection.  
  
I put the box on my bed and began to categorize everything into their specific piles.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
“Takumi!”  
I gasped and turned my head to the doorway. “Oh, I didn’t know you already came.”   
“I’ve been standing here calling your name for a minute already.” Itsuki came into the room and sat on the floor with me.  
“Sorry.”  
I looked behind him. “Where are the others?”  
“Kenji-sempai had some errand to do in Saitama and Iketani-sempai has a shift at the gas station.”  
  
I was kind of glad because I wanted to talk to Itsuki alone. Then again, there was a small part of me that absolutely dreaded to tell him what was on my mind. How would he look at me if I said what had happened for the past three days?   
  
I got five new boxes that my part-time job gave to me and handed Itsuki the tape. As we assembled the first one, he asked, “So how is packing going?”  
“I had it all planned in my head, but when you’re actually doing it, it’s a real pain.” I held the box in place.   
He taped one side of the box. “Oh, that’s why you’re frustrated.”  
“Well, that’s part of it…” Turning over the box, I wiped away the sweat on my forehead with the back of my hand.  
“What’s the other part then?” This time he taped the bottom of the box from the inside.  
“Ryousuke-san asked me to race him on Hakone.” I began to eye the stack of books in front of me.  
“WHAT?! This is EPIC!” The tape made a loud thump on the floor. I looked at Itsuki holding up his hands in the air. “You’re much better than when you two first raced on Akina and then on Akagi!”  
“He came here the other day to ask me.” I started to put books into the box.  
“And what did you say?”  
“I said I’d do it.”  
“Wow...you get to race him as you are now.” He had big smile on his lips. “You’ve really come a long way, Takumi.”  
“I know, but...” My hands stopped putting books inside the box.  
“But what?”  
“I…” I looked up and down, and my cheeks were burning within a minute. “It’s kind of embarrassing to talk about it.”  
“There you are again turning red because of Takahashi Ryousuke.”  
“Months of training with him hasn’t changed my face.” I put my hand on the back of my head nervously. “Actually, it’s because I went to his house.”  
“You stepped into his HOUSE?!” Itsuki immediately stood up, put his right hand over his heart and caught his breath. “What does it look like?”  
“It’s big…spacious. It’s really nice and clean. That’s it.”  
“And?”  
“I saw his room.”  
Itsuki totally forgot about packing and clenched both of his fists in front of him. “You went into a legend’s house and yet you have this face like it was the worst thing in the world. What is wrong with you?!”   
“He showed me a video of some racers.” I hesitated to tell him my parents were in those videos too. “I don’t know why, but I got really upset that he only saw me as the ’86 driver even though we were on the same team for a year.”   
  
I sighed again. “I feel really stupid.”  
  
He began to laugh. “No wonder you’ve been daydreaming again.”  
 _  
Huh? This wasn’t what I expected.  
_  
“Don’t you think I’m being weird or dumb too? I’m not sure why I feel this upset.”  
My stomach cringed.   
  
“The way you’ve talked about him...he sounded really special to you.” He sat down next to me again and really looked at me. “And not in the way you and I are.”  
 _  
Wait. Why aren’t you fazed by any of this?  
_  
“Maybe I’m wrong because I’ve only felt that way with Kazumi, but you never talked about Mogi or Mika-san that way.”  
  
“I haven’t?”   
  
“I know you don’t talk a lot in general and you think too much, but when it comes to Mogi or Mika-san, you don’t really say anything. But whenever we talk about Takahashi Ryousuke, you’re so straight-forward.”  
  
“Isn’t that normal? Mogi or Mika-san don’t come up as often because we’re always talking about racing.”  
  
“Yeah, but the difference is that you react to him.”  
  
“I react…” I racked my brain for examples of what he meant.  
  
I was really happy with each of them and I always felt comfortable. Mogi brought out the things I didn’t know about myself. Mika never got hung up about my schedule because she was busy too. She would worry, but she never told me to stop what I was doing.   
With them, I never felt the amount of fear I did like when Ryousuke stood in front of me after our race in Akina. Ever since then, I was always anxious around him.   
It became normal for me though. I just really respected Ryousuke since the beginning because he could do anything. He saw everything around him. Didn’t we all look up to him in some way because of that?  
 _  
Why are you telling me that this is more than admiration?  
_  
Itsuki folded his arms and nodded his head knowingly. “Yup, if it were me, I’d go gay for Takahashi Ryousuke too.”   
  
I coughed and choked from shock.  
  
“There are three guys I think I’d turn the other way for: You, but you’re my best friend. I know too much. Senna, but he’s passed away, and Takahashi Ryousuke. That is my list of exceptions!”  
  
I couldn’t stop blinking my eyes. Then, all of a sudden, I started to laugh at how easygoing he really was. Positive right to the core and uncomplicated.  
We really could talk about anything to each other.  
  
He nodded even more. “So, I don’t blame you.”  
  
But the feeling of disappointment rushed back. “I’m not sure what I should do right now.”   
  
He shrugged his shoulders.   
  
“Doesn’t this change the way you see me?”  
  
Itsuki shook his head and grinned.  
“Stupid, you’re a good friend. You’re my BEST friend. I’m proud that in a year, you’ve won every battle you’ve done and that you’re still the guy I met up on the roof in junior high.”   
He put his hands on my shoulders. “You may be my rival, but you’re my hero, you know that?”  
  
He tilted his head to one side. “Even though you’re dense, you’ve got everything I wish I could be.”  
  
Letting go of my shoulders, I pulled him with my right arm, and gave him a quick hug. “Thanks, Itsuki.”  
 _  
I wish I could speak as honestly as you do.  
_  
There was so much I wanted to say, but the words couldn’t compare to what he’d just said to me.  
 _  
My dad said I had a lot to master and Ryousuke knew the answers before I even asked the questions.  
I felt behind about what I was expected to already know.  
_  
“If you want my opinion, from the way that guy has chased to find you, picked you for his team, and taken care of you,” he said while folding his arms again. “I don’t think he just sees you as the Downhill Specialist.”  
  
“Wouldn’t he just do that anyway because I’m on his team?”  
  
“Yeah, I used to think that. The others too.”  
  
“Used to? The other sempai know too?”  
  
He nodded proudly.   
_  
Was I the only one who was kept in the dark?  
_  
“That was until I saw him by your house. You had a cold because you were still feeling depressed about the ’86 blowing its engine on Hakone. So, I came to visit you, but I saw Takahashi Ryousuke’s FC in the distance. I parked a block away and stayed inside to watch him.   
“He stood in front of your house and then went in front of the ’86. Putting both of hands on the hood, he kept staring at it and then hung his head as if in defeat. He even closed his eyes.  
“I’ve never seen that guy let down his guard before. I mean he never shows any kind of expression except that he’s serious. But at that moment, I thought he was talking to the ’86 as if it were you.”  
  
“Why didn’t you tell me about that?”  
  
“It felt like it was something private.”  
 _  
The more I knew, the more I just wanted everything to be simple again.  
_  
I again started to put the books into the box and sighed. While I folded the flaps, Itsuki began to tape the top.  
  
“Now that you know…What do you really want?” He pushed the finished box towards the bedroom door. “The real question is: Who can’t you live without?”  
  
I found myself saying the only thing that made sense to me:   
“I can’t give either of them up.”  
  
 _Not just yet._  
  
Before I could process everything, my phone suddenly began to ring at the top of the dresser. Itsuki grabbed it and handed it over to me.  
“Isn’t what you have now already good enough, Takumi?”  
  
I saw Mika’s happy face flashing back at me.   
**  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Itsuki has always been a good friend. Keisuke has Kenta and Bunta has Yuichi. Each of them has someone who always looks up to them.  
> I felt that of all the people who could talk to Takumi, especially about Ryousuke, would be him. Even when the odds were against him, Itsuki always stood by Takumi pulling through.
> 
> And until I started to write about it, I had never really thought about Takumi’s mom. The only thing I could guess was from how Bunta acted in the series. To me, he seems pretty satisfied with his life.
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed this
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	6. Never giving up hope.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is one of my main addictions though I don’t own it. I just can’t live without seeing Takumi, Ryou, or Kei periodically.  
  
**  
I took the phone into my right hand and answered it.  
  
“Hi Takumi! I thought for a second that I called while you were at work.” Her voice radiated through the phone. “I’m so glad I caught you.”  
  
I closed my eyes for a moment and thought about how much I loved her voice. It’s deep but light too, like the sky when I come back from my delivery every dawn.  
 _  
But what I have now, why wasn’t I satisfied with it?  
_  
I didn’t want her to hear my troubles through the phone.   
  
“No, actually, it’s tomorrow.” I went over to sit on the bed and glimpsed over at my mom’s box. “Right now, I’m packing with Itsuki.”  
“I wish I could be there to help you.” Mika sighed over the phone. “But this tournament is really important.”  
“Hey, I told you not to worry. We each have our list of things to do.” My head pointed towards the floor and I ended up looking at my white socks.  
“But this time, I’m our representative. It’s not only for myself, but for our whole country.” I could tell she was balancing the phone on her shoulder and her cheek on the other side of the line while zipping something up. “I want to give them a good fight.”  
“I have no doubt you will.” I couldn’t hide how confident I was about that. She could break any obstacle in front of her.  
  
All the activity behind her finally stopped.   
  
“That means a lot to me.”   
  
I grinned, feeling ashamed too.  
  
“Then why are you nervous?”  
“This is my first overseas tournament. I’ve never spoken English with natives either.” Then, she began to giggle to herself. “Man, now that I think about it, I don’t know how you did battle after battle. And you kept on winning too.”  
  
There was a pause.  
  
“All I thought about was, ‘I hope he emails soon so that I know he’s safe.’”  
  
I took the phone from my ear to look at her picture. My eyes glanced to once side as I put the phone back to my ear.  
  
“How did you take the pressure, Takumi?”  
“It never goes away.” My eyes began to search around my room and my mind stopped over the stack of handwritten memos that Itsuki was putting into another box. “I just wanted to race because there are all kinds of drivers.”  
 _  
I can only do the best of what I know how to do.  
  
If I can’t defeat them, I won’t discover the next one. And I’ll be left behind.  
  
I won’t catch up to him…  
...even with all the notes he wrote for me.  
_  
In the background, I could hear her father say something.  
“Oh! I’ve got to go or I’ll miss my flight! But before I do, is it okay to meet the day after I’m back?”  
“Of course. I’ll pick you up at your house.”  
“Okay!” Her lips kissed the phone.   
  
Every time, my heart skipped a beat at that.  
  
“Yes,” I’d always answered back.  
  
“I can’t wait to see you!”  
“Good luck with the tournament. Take care, Mika.”  
“I will. Bye!”  
  
I put the phone down next to my mom’s box, and turned to see Itsuki standing up with some of memos in his hands. His wide eyes said it all as he flipped one page after another, scanning through the elegant, precise writing.  
  
“I knew he was a genius, but…” Itsuki finally tore his eyes from the papers in his hands to look at me. Ryousuke’s stack reached up to his knees.   
  
He asked with a serious tone, “He gave you all this?”  
  
All I could do was nod slowly.  
 _  
There was no way I could say to either of you that more than maintaining our reputation, all I thought at the end of every race  
  
was to see if he was happy with what he asked of me.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
When it was getting dark, Itsuki and I finally finished. My dad and I had dinner and I passed out so fast, I was wondering why the lights were still on when I woke up to make the tofu round.  
  
Straight after, I went to work as usual, delivering packages everywhere. It wouldn’t be long until I wasn’t doing this anymore. I’d be gone, actually trying to capture my dream.  
 _  
What does it mean to live in the city? Do I have to change how I talk?  
  
How will the other drivers be like? Are they different from us street racers?   
  
Would I have enough money to survive there? I’ve been working this whole time, but my savings went towards our cars and then when I joined the team, Ryousuke took care of everything else.  
  
I was very grateful, but in the back of my mind, I also felt a little guilty. Though I worked hard, all of that couldn’t be possible without him. I owed him for all the things he taught me and everything in between.   
_  
When lunch time came, I parked by one side of the road and began to eat the meat bento I’d bought from the convenience store.  
  
All morning, Itsuki’s voice rang from the back of my mind, _“He gave you all this?”  
  
I can’t believe it either, you know?  
_  
Even if he knew who I was, would he have really gone that far? Didn’t he just want my talent because he knew I could do what he’d projected?  
 _  
“Fujiwara.”  
“Yes?” I took my left arm away from my eyes.   
I was lying on the hood of the ’86 trying to close my eyes before the next race. I still hadn’t cut my habit of sleeping on the hood to keep myself calm.  
  
The road was full of cars and on our way down the Kanetsu Expressway into Tokyo, we decided to go by Odaiba. It was still a while until we could get to Hakone so we took a small break.  
The sky was so clear, bright without clouds anywhere. Below, people ran around the beach and above, tourists walked around the deck of Agua City taking pictures. Because of the excitement, there was no way I could take a nap in my seat.  
  
Ryousuke stood to one side and I put my right hand out so that he could sit on the hood next to me.  
  
I could feel my temperature instantly rise. I wish I could hide my face, but the hot sun was saving me at the moment. The heat was more than I expected, coming from the mountains.  
  
“Here. They told me you wanted ham and cheese.” He put the sandwich on my stomach.   
  
“You didn’t have to. I was going to get up in a few minutes.” My eyes watched the sky again as some birds flew overhead. “Thanks.”  
  
He unwrapped his salmon onigiri from the plastic and began to eat. “Do you sleep on your car often?”  
  
I glanced over at him, wondering why he was still so formal with me.  
  
“Not as much as before.”  
“Before?”  
  
I sat up and took the plastic off the sandwich. “When I was in kindergarten, I would take a nap here as soon as I got home.”   
My cheeks throbbed. I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with him. I didn’t even tell Itsuki about it and my dad would tease me once in a while, threatening he’d bring out the pictures as a last resort if I was really going to be stubborn about something.  
  
He covered his mouth, but his eyes were smiling. Ryousuke shook his head. For the first time, I heard him laugh aloud.   
  
It was like a little kid’s.  
  
“It’s not that funny,” I mumbled, even more embarrassed.  
  
“I didn’t mean to laugh so hard.” He finished his onigiri and put the plastic into a bag. Then, he pushed himself back to lie on the ’86 and put his hands over his stomach. “It’s just that I do the same thing, only at night.”  
  
I watched as a small girl in a light green swimsuit went to the water, touched it and happily ran back every time a wave came.  
  
“After each race, when everyone would go home, I’d remain behind. I’d lie on the FC and watch the stars. It’s always been hard for me to sleep, but every single time I did that, I could.” He put his right arm over his eyes.   
  
I found myself wondering about this gentleman who was wearing navy blue pants, a white shirt, and deep brown loafers. His hair was all messed up too.   
He was still intense, but not as exacting or cold as the first time we met. I don’t know where he changed, but I know he did.  
He is always running around between the hospital and battle sites, updating the data he’d already gone through for Keisuke and me, studying for school, and managing the website.   
  
When do you ever have time for yourself?  
  
Compared to him, I knew I shouldn’t complain.  
  
Was I not as serious about this as I should have been, even if I was doing my best?  
All of a sudden, his left hand grabbed mine. He squeezed it, saying, “Thank you for playing my game until the very end.”  
  
He kept his arm over his eyes.  
  
I was so moved that I thought my heart would burn out.   
_  
  
I stopped eating, putting my lunch to one side. The fogginess inside me became clearer and clearer as the feeling of guilt was sinking deeper within.   
  
Pushing my back into the seat, I looked at the gray roof of the delivery van.  
 _  
I’m not content with this.  
  
And it isn’t because of Mika herself   
but she came in the middle.  
  
You and I have been chasing one another all this time.   
You try to defeat me in your data and I do my best to elude it.  
_  
My head pointed towards the empty road and then downwards, hanging dejectedly. I closed my eyes tightly.   
  
“Deep down, I guess I was hoping you would never give up on me.”  
  
My heart began to ache in a way I’d never known it could.  
 **  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a difficult chapter to write. I had written a draft multiple times and then I ended up doing something different from what I’d planned.
> 
> That being said, something really pinched my heart here. In the middle, with the flashback, I had to stop typing because I started to cry. It really resonated within me.
> 
> I hope you’re enjoying this and thank you for all the reviews/faves/follows. It really means a lot to me.  
> I haven’t written for a long time and this was the fic I wanted to write to get me back on track.


	7. Because I trust you.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is one of my main addictions though I don’t own it. I just can’t live without seeing Takumi, Ryou, or Kei periodically.  
  
  
Chapter 7 – Because I trust you.  
**  
At the end of my shift, I decided to pass by the lake.   
  
The sky was changing from red and orange to light purple and blue as the sun went down. However, it was getting hotter because we were nearing the end of the rainy season. So as I stood on the wooden bridge at the side of the lake, my face became covered with sweat.  
I could see the entire lake around me. There were people eating soba in one of the restaurants served by a kind old lady while some couples walked around the perimeter of the lake. .   
  
Again, I found myself looking at the lake.  
When I didn’t know the sea yet, I came here because I loved water. Somehow, I was comforted by the fact that whatever was changing, this lake would always stay the same.  
I could always come to it and find some kind of answer.  
  
I sensed my mom was somewhere here too.  
  
Looking to my right, I saw the old go-kart track.   
_  
I shook my head. “It’s scary!”  
“Don’t worry.” She went around the track and I watched her as she drove around. “See? It can’t go as fast as our car.”  
At that time, I was a little scared of the ’86. Dad’s idea of ‘fun’ made amusement park rides seem slow.  
“Didn’t you say we were gonna beat Daddy someday?”  
“Mmhm!” Pouting, I nodded my head. More than anything, even at that age, I hated to lose.  
Mom brought the go-kart next to me and I stepped inside. She strapped me into the seat. “Forget about the peddles. Just steer it.”   
Sitting next to me, we went round and round the track because she was a friend of the owner. By then, I vaguely understood that my parents knew anyone who had to do with cars in Akina.  
  
“Go left, go right!” Then, she realized I didn’t know the directions yet as I blankly stared up at her.   
Together, we pulled the steering wheel to the left or right and that’s how I learned directions. Little by little, I found the courage to say we could finally set off. Going faster and faster, I wasn’t scared anymore.  
  
We trained for weeks and one day, I challenged Dad to come with us. Of course, he found a way to slide and won over our team.  
I cried so hard that I kept on rubbing my eyes at the side of the lake. He came over as my mom negotiated with the owner over the wheel replacements because of our battle. It wasn’t the first time she’d done it.  
Placing his large hand over my head, he said, “It’s nothing to cry over.”  
“But you always win every game we play.” I sniffed loudly.  
Without warning, he lifted me up and I looked down into his face. Tears still fell from my face.  
  
“Someday, you’ll win all of them too.” He winked at me.   
“I will?” A spark of hope flashed before me. “When?”  
“Don’t push it, Brat.”  
He put me down and I ran to my mom, who had her hands on her hips, eyeing my dad with a raised eyebrow. “Bunta! Do you know this is the 6th time you’ve done this?”  
Dad rubbed his chin.  
  
That night, as we ate dinner and my mom told him to stop doing that to the go-kart tires, he grinned mischievously.  
I got the feeling that my dad enjoyed it when mom was flustered.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
An hour later, all the shops were getting ready to close up and the buses no longer came to drop off passengers. I drove around the lake and went towards the start of Akina pass. There was a straightaway right before the water tower in which a special melody played when you passed by it. The melody’s tempo depended on the speed of the car when it passed a certain point. If it was perfect, it would play at the pace the melody was supposed to originally sound like. If not, then it would be faster or slower.  
  
Hearing the engine between my ears, I sped past the point as fast I possibly could.  
 _  
There were times I woke up and went out with my mom to do the tofu run. Right after, we would sneak off to go to this place.  
“Look, it’s magic!”  
“How fast should we make it, Taku?” She blinked her eyes and smiled brightly, ready as she went past the rows of grass.  
“Slow!” I pointed my fist in the air.  
She would let the gas go and try to go as slow as she could. Then, the speaker would play the song and we laughed so hard at how weird it sounded.  
  
We’d park in front of the water tower and continue laughing. But on that night, she pulled me over the driver’s side and hugged me tightly.   
“If only we could do this all the time.”  
“We can always go tomorrow! Dad might give up his turn if we play rock, paper, scissors for it.”  
She gave a great belly laugh as tears ran down her cheeks. Taking my cheeks into her hands, she kissed me on the forehead.   
_  
I could never again hear that tune at the right tempo the way my parents drove past that line.  
Until now, I wouldn’t ever go slow even if I passed there with Itsuki.  
  
That was the last time she drove Akina.  
  
  
When I was approaching the top of Akina, for some reason, I’d expected Iketani and Kenji-sempai’s cars to be at the beginning of the pass, but it wasn’t like that at all.  
As I got closer, the all-too-familiar yellow FD pointed itself towards my direction. Its driver stood against the driver’s door with his arms folded.  
  
“Why...?”   
_  
Aren’t you supposed to be practicing in Shizuoka for one of the cups? Isn’t that what you told me last week?  
  
What are you doing _here _?_  
  
If he wasn’t here to race or give a message, I knew he could only be here for one thing and one thing only. I felt uneasy all over again.  
  
After I’d parked in front of him, he quickly came towards me and we met halfway between our cars.  
  
“You!” He looked dead serious.  
  
When I was within his reach, he took my collar in between his hands. His knuckles were turning white. Then, my eyes met his icy ones. I wasn’t going to pretend I didn’t know it was about Ryousuke.  
Keisuke didn’t care whatever people thought of him, but one word about his older brother and he was ready to tear you apart, piece by piece.  
  
“If you weren’t my friend or my rival...” He took a long drawn out breath, his hands shaking between us from anger.  
 _  
I’d already have hit you. I know that’s what you want to say to me.  
_  
“Keisuke-san.”  
He gave it a good five seconds until he let me go. I coughed for air.  
  
“We need to talk.”  
“Okay.”  
  
Keisuke’s coldness was a little unnerving.  
I knew how close they were, but with this, it really hit me with all its force.   
  
While Ryousuke held everything in, Keisuke was not afraid to let it all out.   
In this sense, they were brothers: One way or another, they were relentless with what they wanted.  
  
“Look. Let’s cut the crap.” His eyes narrowed and he pointed his index finger at me. “I know this is your fault.”  
  
He put his finger down and sat on the side of his car, over the right wheel.   
Crossing his arms, he sighed once more.   
I could only stare at his distressed profile, puzzled more than ever.  
  
“What’s my fault?”  
  
Again, what had happened with Ryousuke squeezed my heart of the little feeling it had left.  
  
He uncrossed his arms and his hands gripped onto the shiny yellow hood. Still watching his profile, I could see his eyes trying to hold back.   
“He regressed.”  
  
“Regressed? Ryousuke-san?” I couldn’t catch up with the both of them at all.  
  
He gritted his teeth. “You have no idea what he was like before he became the White Comet of Akagi.”  
  
“But what does that have to do with me?”  
  
Turning his head towards me and seizing me within his knife-like gaze, he bitterly replied,   
  
“Everything.”  
  
His words sliced right through me.  
 _  
Whatever’s happened, how can you be so certain it’s about me?  
  
Your brother sees me as his rival like you. There is no way that what happened the other night could have such an effect that you’d come all the way from Shizuoka, right?  
  
I am not so sure anymore.  
_  
“I can’t follow what you’re saying.” I looked away into the darkness, my eyes searching for a small glimpse of the lake again.   
_  
Why I would even matter that much to Ryousuke-san? This makes no sense to me!  
_  
Facing Keisuke once more, I saw him biting his lower lip so much that I thought it was going to bleed.   
  
“I could tell. They were the same from that time.”  
“That time?”  
“When Aniki taught me how to drive.” He patted his FD affectionately and then his fingers spread out over it. “It changed my whole life.”  
  
Pushing himself off the car, his back was facing me. “There are some things I wish I could forget though.”  
  
Without asking anything more, he went to his car and drove off. I followed him down the mountain, my blood becoming colder the further we went downhill.  
  
A lingering, unfamiliar sense of fear was clawing its way under my skin, pulling me down below the surface of everything I knew until that point.  
 _  
Do I really have to know?  
Why do you want to show me when it looks like it’s going to be painful?  
_  
My eyes couldn’t look away from the car in front of me.   
_  
I want to understand what’s going on, but half of me wants to keep things as they are. If I dive further than I’m supposed to, will I be able to recover from it?  
  
Could we ever see each other the same way again?  
_  
Keisuke’s tires screeched as he turned into the hairpins, mine not too far behind.  
 _  
In that parking lot when you said you’d battle me on Akagi, you ask me to walk over to the railings overlooking the mountain range.  
Putting your arms over them, you look straight ahead. “I have a question to ask you. You don’t have to answer me if you don’t want to.”  
“Yes?”   
The air’s so crisp this morning and the view is very beautiful. I’d almost missed it if you hadn’t told me to come to that spot.  
“Why aren’t you afraid of me, Fujiwara?”  
“Hmm?” I still watch the peacefulness around us, not really knowing what you meant.  
“You challenged me knowing you might lose on my territory.” You turn around and your elbows lean on the railings. “Doesn’t that bother you at all?”  
“No. Not really.” I shake my head.   
“And why is that?”  
I turn my whole body towards you as your head looks towards me.  
“Because I trust you.”  
  
Even if I don’t ask you, you’re already thinking about what I need to get to the next level.  
So I know you won’t ever deceive me.  
  
“You really are a curious one.”  
_  
The fear was strangling me the more we drove on.   
_  
I can’t imagine Ryousuke being someone other than the person I’ve always known him to be…  
  
…and that’s the half that says I won’t suffocate from the truth.   
_  
**  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in layers. Once I finished it, I put it away and then came back to write over it. I did it again and again until it became like this.  
> Then, I became satisfied because I learned more about what I really thought about Takumi, Keisuke, and Ryousuke from the back of my head.
> 
> I have been writing fanfiction for a very long time, but this was one of the few times that I really thought, “It’s in sync. This was what I really wanted to see.”
> 
> Thank you for reading until this part!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	8. Synchrony.

**Disclaimer – I don’t own Initial D, but I appreciate how much passion was put into it.  
**

  
Kenta ran towards the FD as soon as Keisuke came into the observatory parking lot. I got out of my car and walked over while they were talking.  
“I can’t believe you’re here!” He beamed so much, I thought he was going to hug Keisuke.   
“I needed to let off some steam.” Keisuke took out a cigarette and lit it. Again, he leaned on his car. “You?”  
“I’m going to represent us in Saitama.” He looked down to the ground. “I won’t fail this time.”  
Keisuke reached out his hand and ruffled his hair. “You’re the captain now, so you better.”  
“Don’t treat me like a kid!” But despite that, Kenta smiled so much that his teeth showed.  
  
“Oh, you’re here too? Hi!”   
“Hi.”  
“I heard you’re going to be moving soon.” He frowned a little. “It seems like everyone is moving away.”  
“Oh yeah, I told Keisuke-san about it when we were emailing because-“  
“No, it was Ryousuke-san who told me.”   
I was about to say something when Keisuke interrupted, “Sorry ‘bout this. I know you’re practicing and all.”  
“Naw, it’s you!” Kenta looked at the both of us. I was very sure he could feel something was not right, but he let it go.  
  
“I’ve gotten the first clear so they should be-“  
  
A voice from the walkie-talkie announced, “It’s all clear.”  
  
“You can do the run now.” Kenta’s mood changed and he appeared happy with himself.  
“Thanks.” Keisuke dropped his cigarette and crushed it under his shoe. He pointed his index finger towards me and curled it. “Come here.”  
  
I ended up sitting in the FD and buckled myself in. I’d never been inside Keisuke’s car since we were always competing so I felt strange. His serious face didn’t make things any better.  
  
We backed out of the parking lot and went to the beginning of Akagi pass.   
He revved the engine and in the dark, turning my head side to side, I couldn’t see the other parking lot to the left or the grass to the right.   
Kenta ran to stand in the middle. “For old time’s sake!”  
Keisuke shook his head, but he smirked. “That kid…”  
  
Again, I watched his profile. Keisuke closed his eyes in concentration and then opened them again, saying, “He brought me here to show me the one thing he loved. The one thing he could call his.”  
 _  
I could feel how much he’d wanted to show me this.  
Himself. Ryousuke. And the things that I thought I wasn’t supposed to know.  
_  
“Go!” Kenta shouted as he put his arms down.  
 _  
This is the first time I’m seeing him drive.  
_  
His profile equaled that of his brother: Paralleled determination.  
 _  
This doesn’t feel like a time trial at all though. Are you going against your brother?  
_  
I took a deep breath as my heart was getting ahead of itself. Glancing over again, and seeing how he gripped the steering wheel with his whole will behind it, I was starting to understand why they watched us. Why they kept on getting excited if there was news about our team.  
  
Why they all kept on calling us ‘special’.  
 _  
But why exactly, am I here?  
_  
As Keisuke went from the straightaway with that slight curve into the first corner, it was gentle but aggressive.  
 _  
This wasn’t Keisuke, but…  
…it wasn’t Ryousuke either.  
  
This person driving has a completely different style.   
_  
I know because there was an exercise one week where we had to practice as if we were the other. First Keisuke had followed me down and then I followed him on the way up.   
  
We were supposed to be each other while doing our time trials after that. It got to the point we became totally immersed being the other one.  
 _  
“In order to build a solid team, we have to know what the other would do,” Ryousuke said as he held his laptop with one hand, and typed with the other.  
I stood next to Keisuke, and realized in that moment, how alike we were.  
_  
Driving smoothly into the snake-like path, something began to bother me about how he was driving. It was a bit irritating.  
  
I watched on as the perfect line appeared before me in glimpses. But every time we turned, it wasn’t as solid as it could have been.   
_  
What was missing?  
_  
Keisuke’s seemed pained as we turned again at the blur of yellow and black against the wall. Driving through small curves and turning at several corners, once more we were at another long straightaway, but mysteriously, this was where we increased our speed.  
 _  
He’d been holding back.  
_  
I began to feel sick and it wasn’t because of the driving. I know in the past I was totally neutral, almost painstakingly apathetic over Itsuki, Kenji’s and Iketani’s fanboying over their cars that I got hit over the head because of it.   
_  
However, at least, I was careful about the car. Then again, Dad would have killed me if I wasn’t.  
_  
The more we drove, I almost didn’t want to see what was unraveling.   
_  
Itsuki had a hard time driving Akina pass but not once did I feel like this. I had fun when I was practicing with him.  
_  
Once again, as I watched Keisuke turning on multiple corners, his footwork seemed almost robotic.  
  
However, when I watched past the dashboard, hood, and beyond the lights, everything appeared flawless. More and more questions flashed in my head but it would be blank all over again with every curve.  
  
As we went past the third marker, the fear again came out to strangle me.   
_  
I was afraid of reaching the end without knowing anything.  
  
Keisuke has driven this many times, but why does he look like he’s searching for something?  
_  
For some reason, I glanced at the rearview mirror to look behind us. Then, I watched the front again. The darkness seemed never-ending like this.  
 _  
The driving…  
It was as if something was chasing us even though I knew nothing was there.  
  
Yet, this style is fluid, and very reckless at the same time.  
  
Two things that occur at the same time. He taught me that was “synchrony”.  
  
But if that’s true, the way Keisuke and I drive shouldn’t exist. I don’t know if that makes sense, but the driver pushed everything with such abandon. However, there are no risks at all.  
_  
I felt more and more sick from the pit of my stomach.  
 _  
When you drive like this, you don’t care about anything. On the outside, it all looks very meticulous. Working so hard to be earnest, it appears seamless so no one would know that the opposite was actually true.  
  
This person driving has no confidence in themselves, and covered it with the car’s abilities.  
_  
When we reached the bottom, Keisuke immediately pulled to one side and began to cough loudly. He opened the windows so we heard the full rumble of the engine. I stared at him, and his eyes never left the road.  
  
“That was Aniki when he was known as the White Comet.”  
 _  
Somehow, I knew.  
_  
My stomach churned violently.  
  
His hands let go of the steering wheel and he leaned back into his chair, closing his eyes. “Because of what was happening at home and how I was acting, my parents couldn’t handle their problems and me at the same time. So, they finally gave up on me. There was a time that I thought maybe he was really disappointed with me too.  
“But instead of lecturing or ignoring me, he brought me here. Without saying anything else, he drove to show me that he was like everyone else. Deep inside that perfect exterior, there was someone who hated pretenses and was just as wild as me. Someone who didn’t want to care about what the fuck was going on.   
“It was intoxicating to watch him like this. I kept on wondering why didn’t he ever tell me about all this? He told me everything, but not this and I couldn’t understand why.   
“Who was this person at the wheel? I’ve ridden with him a million times, and not once did I see this scary beast behind the wheel.”   
  
Keisuke shook his head. “My mind was spinning. I had to cut myself from my gang and the person I admired most in the world…it was as if he never existed and this calm maniac was the real Aniki. I really hate thinking about that time…  
“But when we got to this spot, he put his hand on my head like he always did when we were growing up. Then, he told me, ‘Whatever path you take, I’ll be there. So, do what you want and just be happy.’”  
He kept his eyes closed and sighed.  
“Even when everyone around us condemned me, he never judged me.”  
  
 _This was almost like a few days ago, when Ryousuke gave that expression while he grabbed my arms._  
“Thank you for showing me all this, Keisuke-san.”  
  
I looked at my lap and watched my open hands.   
_  
Yes, that’s the Ryousuke I know.  
  
But that driver on the pass right now, more than the absence of feeling for racing,   
he wasn’t afraid to die.  
  
If that’s it, then when did he change?  
_  
“Hey, I’m sorry about dragging you here because I was so angry.” He opened his eyes and it was only then that he fully looked at me.   
“What happened?”  
“We were having a video call yesterday. And his eyes…” His hands made fists again and they shook. “It’s like the time when he was with her.”  
  
The mention of ‘her’ made my heart ache, twisting it cleanly and thoroughly.   
In the haze of my confused thoughts, I remembered Ryousuke’s words in the hospital.  
  
“Her? Is she the one who gave him his dream?”  
  
Keisuke’s face began to pale. His eyes became sharp once more, looking at me surprised. “He even told you about her?”  
His fists pushed onto the steering wheel. Then he punched them and the car yelled. “I can accept you training as hard as you can. Of course, we’re rivals, because you take this so seriously. But what I can’t take is that he tells you things that I can’t ask for.”  
“I’m not trying to intrude-“  
“I...I know you’re not. That’s not like you.” He tried to calm himself down again. “But I’m sure no one knows him the way you do, Takumi.”  
  
My mouth was slightly open. I had no idea about anything.  
  
“I vowed whatever would happen, I’d never want to see Aniki like that again.”  
“I know we talked the other day, but there is no way that Ryousuke-san would have taken what I said too seriously-“  
“Are you really this stupid?” His patience was waning.  
I couldn’t say anything at all.  
“I accepted you because you beat me and I have high respect for you for it. But I can’t believe you still don’t get what all this means!” He stepped out of the car.  
I also got out and he stared me down across the roof of his car. “I came here to tell you but now I know it’s useless! It’s not worth it if you really think that way.”  
  
Keisuke wasn’t going to tell me any more about ‘her’, but how am I supposed to connect everything?  
  
I took a step back, wanting to put my hands on my forehead because my head was beginning to hurt. I could the pressure from all the battles, and moving houses, but now I was truly becoming mad about all of this.  
 _  
Why did it have to be now?!  
_  
Everything was starting to annoy me. It takes a lot for me to shout but once I’m there, you’d better watch out.   
  
“I don’t get what both of you are telling me!” I kept on staring at Keisuke. “Why did he come to challenge me? Wasn’t it all because he knew who my father was? And now, you’re telling me that Ryousuke-san was someone different before we battled? Why does it matter so much to both of you?!”   
_  
Why the hell are you so hung up on me?!  
_  
His breaths shortened in frustration as I continued to tell him exactly what I’d been thinking the whole week.  
  
“He’s just focused on the person who stopped his unconquered record.” I turned away so that he couldn’t see my face. I clenched my fists. “That’s it. There’s nothing more.”  
 _  
Nothing at all.  
I’m not important enough to him for anything but that. Stop making me repeat myself. It is sinking in so much that I’m already sick from it.  
_  
Keisuke stormed over to my side, stood in front of me, and took my collar.   
  
Pwack!  
I skidded to the ground. The dust rose and fell as I felt my raw jaw pulsate, but I didn’t touch it.   
  
Standing tall, he looked down at me. “Don’t you get it?! He trusted you with everything! Even the parts that I couldn’t ever open!”  
  
My arms pushed into the ground, but I couldn’t get up so quickly. I looked up at him with an expression challenging his. “Then tell me why he has a video of my parents? He knew who I was! Of course he’d tell me those parts because he’s fair that way. He wants the advantage at an equal footing.”  
 _  
No, that’s not what I meant-  
_  
“He showed you those videos?” He blinked his eyes and looked away. “I wasn’t even allowed to see them.”  
  
My eyes opened widely in shock.  
  
“With your attitude, I feel sorry that he wasted his time on you.” He immediately turned around and went to the driver’s side.   
  
I slowly stood up and dusted myself before sitting in the passenger seat.  
  
As he rode up silently and more infuriated than when we were in Akina, I watched the outside, following the road with what I had memorized in my mind.  
 _  
He trusted me more than I thought…but…  
  
No, you’re wrong, Keisuke.  
Beyond Project D, there is no way that guy would ever be concerned about me.   
He doesn’t know the real ‘me’ off the track and even now, he’s an absolute mystery.  
  
He’s got nothing to gain from me.  
  
That’s why he’s got nothing to do with me now. _  
  
  
**Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Even before Akina lake became a track on the game, because it was mentioned in the anime, that was how I found Haruna/Akina mountain when I was asking the locals how to use the bus to get there.  
> Walking there for the first time, I was so excited that each time I came back, I tried something different.
> 
> I went to Akagi and Akina/Haruna because I loved Takumi, Ryou and Kei so much. Just being there made them more real to me, as if I was going to meet them even though I knew no one was waiting for me there. But it was my place to go whenever I needed to get away and think.
> 
> Ah, what turned out to be a small fic has become quite longer than I’d expected…
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	9. Asymmetrical.

**Disclaimer – Initial D doesn’t belong to me, but yes, the ‘song’ by ‘Secret’ in the middle is mine. I had a lot of fun writing it.  
  
**  
“If you only knew,” someone whispered to my left ear.  
  
I immediately opened my eyes to the blinding light coming through my window, and of course, there was no one there. I sat up, holding my head, confused between the dream world and reality.  
Even though I’d slept late into the morning and I knew I’d passed out earlier, everything passed by in a fast cloud. I don’t know what kind of excuse I gave Kenta, but I remembered one thing from Keisuke’s fatal glare:  
_  
“Mark my word, if you hurt my brother, I will come after you.”  
_  
Being a little envious, I wondered if that’s how all siblings felt about one another? Did they all protect one another like that?  
Then again, I was the one who cried when I damaged the ’86 both times. There was no doubt in my mind that he’d protected me each time.  
What more for blood relatives?  
  
Instead of holding my head, I now slowly patted my jaw, twitching while touching the bubble of swollen skin. I could only imagine what it looked like because I didn’t bother to see it last night.  
  
How was I supposed to explain this when Dad asks? I can’t exactly say Keisuke hit me because I was a jerk to Ryousuke. And why was that? Because he had a video of you and mom.  
  
I buried my face in my hands. “Ow!”  
That wasn’t such a good idea so I stood up and briefly paced among the maze of boxes.  
  
Actually, my shoulders felt like bricks were balancing on them and my back, crushed with pliers. The fact that my mind was entirely foggy by the end of this week was of no surprise to me.  
  
I got ready and briefly saw the swollen part of my face in the bathroom mirror. Shrugging my shoulders, I knew there was nothing I could really do about it. I hated to admit that I kind of deserved it.  
  
When I went downstairs, I smelled the smoke from his cigarette. I found him reading the newspaper in the living room. Without missing a beat and not putting his paper down, he said, “You were supposed to do this morning’s delivery.”  
  
I stood in the threshold with the title “Sports” on top and a heading that said, “Rookie offered contract for international team!”  
  
“I know. I’m really sorry, Dad.” I waited for my punishment. There were no excuses accepted when it came to business.  
  
“You’ve been stressed over moving so I’ll let it go.” He put down the newspaper and stared straight at me. “But why do you have a bruise on your face?”  
“I got into a fight with Keisuke.”  
“Ah.” He took a drag of his cigarette.  
  
It wasn’t the first time we’d disagreed on something, but it’d never escalated to that level either.  
  
He didn’t ask anything further about it. Putting the newspaper between us once more, I took a step into the kitchen to get some breakfast. When I came back with some mackerel and miso he’d put on a tray for me, I said grace and ate.  
  
“By the way, Takumi, I had someone look over the ‘86.” There was a crinkling noise in between my groggy brain and his silence.  
When it sank in with a delay, I stopped eating.  
“What? Why?” I put my chopsticks down. “I said I was saving up to fix it. Even if I had to do it myself.”  
  
I wanted to do it with my own hands so that I’d learn. For all these years, even if we never battled again, the ‘86 kept me company through the best and worst times of my life.  
  
“I know, but I found someone who said there may be a way. If they can’t, then there is no point in hoping for it to be repaired.”  
“But I wanted to do it piece by piece, no matter how long it took.” I looked straight into the newspaper once more. “Even then, would it have been so bad for it to be parked there?”  
_  
At least until I left?  
_  
He put the paper down and folded it. Then, he smeared his cigarette into the ashtray on the ground next to him.  
“I'd never give that car away.” He got up.  
_  
Why’d you do it then?  
_  
Walking away from me, he explained, “Your mother bought it when she retired from the pros.”  
_  
My mother was a pro racer? Wasn’t it you?  
_  
He’d never really told me anything that happened before I was born. In fact, our first talk about the past was after Natsuki came over for Christmas and he told me stories of girls he’d met in his life.  
Weirdly, this talk didn’t end with how he’d met my mother. He skipped all of what was in between and ended,  
_  
“She said she was coming back to Gunma, showed up in front of this house with a single suitcase, and that was that.”  
_  
When he went over to the front and began his daily routine, I saw him smirking to himself.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
By early evening, I’d just sent my first set of boxes through a delivery service. Since my dad had some contacts at the place I was heading to, there was an apartment arranged for me. They also said they’d just store all my boxes in the apartment until I came. I was glad that almost all of the ‘moving’ part was finished.  
  
Now, there was this whole other thing that had to be resolved.  
  
I tried not to let my thoughts wander towards that direction as I waited for Itsuki to pick me from the front of my house. He was already a few minutes late so I read my phone messages.  
_  
Message (121/121)  
Name: Wataru  
Subject: Sadamine Pass  
Attachment: None  
  
See you at tonight’s battle.  
  
It’d be good to talk to you before you go West.  
  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Message (120/121)  
Name: Mika  
Subject: Hi!  
Attachment: None  
  
Hi Takumi!  
  
I arrived safely in Portland. The airport’s very wide and the structure’s interesting. It’s pretty and green over here. I like it already!  
Dad and I are going downtown to check out the transit system after practice. We’re going to try to fit some sightseeing in between, but let’s see how it goes. It’s a pretty hard schedule, but it’s rare to go overseas, so I’m going to do my best!  
We're going to begin the tournament tomorrow.  
  
I wish I could hear your voice right now…  
  
I hope you’re doing okay with everything.  
  
-Mika  
_  
I read her message over and over. I knew I had to reply so that she’d feel more at ease, except I didn’t really know what to say about the upcoming battle, my jaw, or this week’s arising issues.  
  
_  
Name: Taku  
Subject: Re: Hi!  
Attachment: None  
  
Hey Mika,  
  
I’m really glad you’re okay and that there were no problems getting there.  
  
I just finished packing all my packages so I’m almost done with everything. I think I can take it slower before I leave.  
  
Have fun with everything over there and please send me some pictures. I’ve never been abroad before, so I wonder what it looks like, especially America.  
I think I’ve always just thought about life here in Japan so for you to go to the tournament is pretty amazing. They invited you to come, so just play like you always do when we go to the ranges together.  
  
I’m sure you’ll do really well. You always do.  
  
Take care.  
  
-Takumi  
_  
I pressed ‘sent’ just as Itsuki was about to stop.  
  
Saying goodbye to my dad, I got in and we headed towards Higashi-Chichibu.  
  
As expected, his jaw dropped when he noticed my face. “Hey Taku-Whoa, that wasn’t there when I last saw you.”  
“Hi to you too, Itsuki.”  
I almost laughed, despite all that was going on.  
Itsuki drove and turned on the radio. There happened to be a duet, the two-girl group called “Secret”. He made the volume louder so that he could sing along with them. I realized it was the same group my dad sometimes watched on our tv.  
  
I was thankful for the breathing space.  
  
“I can’t give you all of my thoughts,  
I won’t surrender all of my will power,  
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,  
If my words seem misleading, then  
I shouldn’t say them, right?  
  
It all started with a look  
From one mirror to another,  
You were behind me,  
But I turned away, thinking  
‘It was just a joke.  
I don’t have that  
kind of free time.’  
  
You keep on getting closer,  
(I want to run away)  
Saying things without words  
(I’m not so honest)  
Your smile is enough,  
(I’ll be caught soon)  
The rest of you is a puzzle.  
(But I want you anyway.)  
  
I can’t give you all of my thoughts,  
I won’t surrender all of my will power,  
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,  
If my words seem misleading, then  
I shouldn’t say them, right?  
  
Will there be a time where  
I’m able to just be myself?  
Forgetting all the  
walls I’ve made between us two?  
‘Won’t you let me in?  
I’ve tried and tried  
but this gap remains.’  
  
I keep on going further,  
(You want to embrace me)  
Crowding words between us  
(You’re full of patience)  
My eyes tell you nothing.  
(When will you give up?)  
I’m the marble you’re gazing through.  
(So you already have me.)  
  
I can’t give you all of my thoughts,  
I won’t surrender all of my will power,  
I mustn’t hand over my heart so easily,  
If my words seem misleading, then  
I shouldn’t say them, right?”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
While talking with Itsuki and parking, I found out this was the race that Kenta was going to be in. But I didn’t recognize the person he was going up against. I think she was a completely new challenger. Apparently, a newcomer had come into Wataru’s team recently.  
I searched around the crowd, almost expecting the black FD to be there, but it never showed up.  
  
Keisuke had given her up to go all out.  
_  
I was the one who’d gotten a girlfriend. There were times I really questioned if I was that serious. By now, was I really as committed as I should have been?  
_  
“Haven’t seen you guys in a while.” I greeted in relief. “It’s good to see you.”  
I was saved that wherever we were standing, it was dark enough that they didn’t notice my face. We stood to one side, across a shrine against the cliff. The guardrails on the right revealed no idea of what was below during the day. Other people were dispersed around the path, but I was the one who mentioned about this spot. For some reason, I had a feeling this was where we should have been.  
“Life is going fast for you, that’s why,” Iketani said as he patted my shoulder.  
“Yeah, it’s still unbelievable that it all started by accident not too long ago.” Kenji watched as several cars passed us to park a small distance away from us.  
“This was your fault,” I joked as I heard more cars roar behind me.  
“It turned out well though,” Iketani replied with a smile. “Now, you’re going against the world stage.”  
_  
I want to believe I’m ready, but how far is the gap going to be? Will I be able to keep racing the way I want to?  
  
Isn’t that why Ryousuke didn’t want to be a professional? Why he and Sudo-san still fought over their driving theories?  
  
Will he and I ever get to the point where our thoughts crossover?  
  
When will I ever surpass his theories and create my own? As I am now, I’m just applying what he’s instilled in me.  
  
Deep down, I know that when we’re put side by side,  
  
your passion and my talent for racing are asymmetrical.  
_  
In a flash, the three huddled around me whispering, “So have you decided?”  
I blankly looked at them from left to right. “About what?”  
Iketani put his hand up to cover half of his mouth and whispered loud enough for all of us to hear, “About Mika-san and Takahashi Ryousuke!”  
“You know?” Even though they couldn’t see, on point, my face delivered its predictable blushing. “Itsuki!”  
“I was worried because you looked depressed.” He grabbed the sleeves of my shirt. “I don’t want you to leave us feeling like that!”  
_  
I really can’t think of anything special that I did for you to be this good to me…  
_  
I was starting to feel calm again. When he let go of my sleeves, he said, “That and everything’s always been a group decision, you know!”  
I hung my head in defeat.  
“Lonely drivers should unite as one.” As I was lifting my head to face them again, Kenji put his arm over Itsuki’s shoulders. “Mr. Downhill Specialist will never know our dilemma. The other one let go of a hottie.”  
“Erk.” Iketani cleared his throat. It was clear that the Mako subject still brushed against his lingering regret. “It doesn’t make me feel better that she’s one of the top three on the circuits right now. Her face appears daily on almost all of the racing sites.”  
“How can you say that?” I put my hand on the back of my head in embarrassment. “You think I don’t know how you feel?”  
In unison, they all answered back without a second thought, “Nope.”  
“…” I couldn’t argue against all of them and I put my hand down.  
“Seriously, Mika-san is a really great girl.”  
“I know she is, Iketani-sempai.” I looked at him straight in the eye.  
“And she’s talented too, so she gets you. You won’t find another one like her.” Kenji took his hand off Itsuki’s shoulder.  
I nodded my head in agreement.  
“But Takahashi Ryousuke has always been watching over Takumi!” Itsuki pointed out.  
“Wouldn’t any team leader do that?” Kenji replied as he shrugged his shoulders. “From the Project D website, you can tell that guy’s totally obsessed with results.”  
Iketani still looked on with conviction. “And the more Takumi became our pride because of it.”  
“Yeah…” they all said in sync.  
“But Itsuki, why are you so sure about Takahashi Ryousuke?” Iketani turned his head towards Itsuki. “Wouldn’t it just be that he found someone who’s a genius like him?”  
  
“Somebody that focused in everything he’s responsible for…” Itsuki shook his head fervently. “Someone like that wouldn’t pursue Takumi half-heartedly.”  
_  
He looks absolutely certain about Ryousuke.  
_  
“Wouldn’t that describe Mika-san too?” Kenji ran his fingers through his hair. “She’s a pro. I mean, for goodness sake, she’s the Japanese golf rep in the US right now!”  
“No. Takumi always pushes that what he does is ordinary, but…” Itsuki’s hands made fists and his voice finally shouted, “the first person to acknowledge and not underestimate him besides me IS HIM!”  
He was breathing hard.  
_  
You’re right…  
_  
I stood there in awe. But my hand reached out to ruffle his hair.  
_  
From the very beginning, I owe you a lot, Itsuki. I understand that now.  
_  
He put his fists over his hips and smiled proudly.  
  
“If Mika and Ryousuke-san didn’t completely love what they did, I’d be a lost cause right now.” I took my hand away from Itsuki’s hair.  
Itsuki nodded his head as Iketani and Kenji both answered, “Yeah, ain’t that the truth.”  
“Hey!” I protested.  
_  
Thank you…  
For admiring my talent, and not ever treating me badly for it.  
_  
“Aren’t you going to tell me I shouldn’t think of those things at all?”  
Itsuki asked, “What do you mean?”  
“I’m with Mika and we’re equal. I don’t feel deficient, stupid, or confused ever since we’ve been together. I’ve never had to second-guess what I’m doing.” I took a deep breath. “There shouldn’t even be this talk about Ryousuke-san.”  
“Mika-san and you don’t smother one another. That’s why I like her. She can handle herself when the time comes.” Kenji began to chuckle a little. “I mean, she really gave a good slap when you first met. It was pretty impressive.”  
“Then, why is it okay to have this kind of conversation with him involved?”  
“Takahashi Ryousuke doesn’t see the world as we see it. I don’t think he sees himself as we see him.” Iketani looked away from us, and turned around to hold the guardrails, watching beyond the cliff and trees, looking deep in thought. “That’s how I’ve always felt, ever since I saw him race as the White Comet.”  
_  
I could never put it into words, but that was exactly how I felt, discovering it this week.  
_  
“They see you as you are.” Itsuki patted my shoulders. Then, he squeezed them as he gave me a thoughtful look. “That’s why we’re fine with either one you choose.”  
  
With many thoughts bombarding my mind, I remained silent. I could only look at Itsuki with a worried expression.  
_  
Just which side of myself will I preserve? Which one will I give away?  
If I look further, I can see a glimpse of my future with each of them.  
  
On the surface, why do Mika and Ryousuke appear to be the same? Yet, the small voice keeps saying:  
  
“They are, in fact, unequal. You have to keep reaching towards the impossible,  
risking everything in between, even losing them and breaking yourself in the process in order to find what you’ve always wanted.  
  
Only few can enter here because most can’t take the impact.  
That’s the true facet of a ‘dream’.”  
  
_  
The dull ache in my jaw continued to remind me of Keisuke’s pure resolve.  
_  
Because of it, I become gradually conscious  
  
that I love them more than I let on,  
and of the fear that finally swallows me whole with it.  
  
_  
**Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of my favorite courses was Tsuchisaka so I was glad they brought it back in Infinity. However, since that’s the Evo group, and I miss Kyouko and Wataru, I decided to just relocate it there.
> 
> Plus, I love music, so it’s got to show up somewhere. (Anyone who’s read my Gravi fics knows it…)  
> To tell the truth, the story is unraveling for me too. I had an outline but since I got really engrossed within the fic, it’s turning out far from what I’d planned. I am glad though because I’m enjoying the challenge.
> 
> So far though, this was an extremely difficult chapter to write. It really ransacked through my heart.
> 
> I just hope you’re enjoying it with me.
> 
> Until next read, take care!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	10. Bittersweet.

**Disclaimer – Initial D was created by Mr. Shuichi Shigeno and so it’s not mine, but I love the characters very much. So here we are.  
  
**  
“Takumi?”   
  
Itsuki’s hands remained on my shoulders, but I felt paralyzed.   
_  
I know I’ve grown in these few months. Whenever I look into the bathroom mirror, my reflection is the person I used to think would only exist inside my mind.  
  
The harder I watch myself with all that’s going on, I’m forced to confront what I’ve been pushing to the secluded corners of my mind.  
_  
All around us, the air was filled with spectator’s murmurs, and cars seeking free spaces to park. The increasing volume told the obvious: The battle would shortly begin.  
  
Behind me, I heard a car park not too far from us.  
“Forget it for now.” Itsuki took his hands from my shoulders and turned around to face the road. “And enjoy the time you have left with us.”  
  
Kenji was already by the side of the road watching for any activity as Iketani turned away from the guardrail to go stand next to him.  
  
From across the street, near the shrine entrance, there was a young girl in her school uniform. I instantly thought of when I first invited Natsuki to my battles.  
 _  
“What? You came all the way on your bike?”  
“Yeah, I did.”  
“It was so far. You should have-“  
“I came because I made a promise.” She grinned as she kept her bookbag behind her as we were walking to the school entrance. “And now, I think I like you better than before because of it.”  
She winked at me and waved goodbye. I stood there dumbfounded until Itsuki waved his hand in my face to get my attention.  
_  
As their footsteps came closer towards our direction, I could clearly hear her say, “They’re starting soon!”   
  
Even though I couldn’t see her face at all, there was a smile in her voice. Shortly, a tall shadow came walking behind her. They walked until they were almost diagonally across from where we standing. The tall figure’s white pants could lightly be seen and I wondered where I’d seen that style before.  
  
Iketani took out his phone and announced. “It’s almost 10.”  
He put his phone away and I took mine out, checking if Mika had replied to my message. There were no new messages.  
  
The tall figure put their hand over their mouth to clear their throat. “I think we should stand here.”   
“Okay.”  
 _  
That’s Ryousuke’s voice!  
_  
Their figures stopped walking, but as he crossed his arms, she lightly tugged on them with one hand. I squinted to see his head turn to look down at her.  
  
“I’m so happy that you finally brought me here.”  
“I’m glad.”  
 _  
What was going on?  
_  
I stood behind Itsuki, Iketani, and Kenji, hoping that the people across us wouldn’t notice us. I sighed and turned away from all of them.  
 _  
I’d been agonizing all this time to find out the real situation was like this! Why did you make me go through this whole ordeal all week?  
_  
I faced the road again and a hush passed by all the people who were waiting patiently on the road’s borders. Without warning, it was like a blanket of silence settled. All of a sudden, there was a loud roar, later followed by the piercing noise of screeching tires.  
  
It’s been a while since I’d been an onlooker so this moment was a luxury. I was really looking forward to coming here since I told Itsuki about the battle a month ago. Wataru sounded very proud of his new recruit. Considering how strict he was, the new female driver, Yano Sesora, had to be exceptional.  
  
One minute and a half into the battle, the report was that they were about to clear the first section.  
  
But out of nowhere, I heard the girl cry out, “Are you okay?”  
A lot of coughing followed her question.  
  
Kenji, Iketani, and Itsuki were totally immersed in discussing about how Sesora was trained for half a year by Iwase Kyouko. During that time, unexpectedly, someone came to their practice run and Kyouko was asked to consider turning pro. So, the three of them were clueless about what was happening near the shrine.  
  
“I’m going to see something.”  
“Okay.” Itsuki replied.  
Iketani put his hand up as Kenji nodded his head.  
  
I looked at the empty road and walked across it.  
Suddenly, the girl shouted, “Ryou!”   
So, I ran just in time to hold my arms out to the slightly swaying figure. He leaned against me.   
  
His skin was burning.  
“He has a high fever.” I tried to keep my composure even though I was inwardly panicking while simultaneously thinking of what to do.   
“Fujiwara?” He questioned, amazed that I was there.  
 _  
He’d never be this irresponsible! How could he not know he’d reached his limit?!  
_  
“I don’t know.” She reached her hands out to lightly touch his face.  
I took a slow breath at the tenderness shared between them, feeling like an intruder and that I could break in two right then and there.  
  
“We’ll call the ambu-“ I suggested, but Ryousuke interrupted, “NO.”  
He coughed again. “I don’t want to go to the hospital. I’m fine. I must stay until Kenta has passed through.”   
I helped him stand up straight, but he stumbled and leaned on me even more than before, trying his best to act as normal as he could for the girl. When I put my hand against his back, his polo shirt was completely drenched from sweat.   
“No, we have to! Don’t be stubborn.” I tried to reason with him. “Aren’t you a doctor?”  
“That’s why I’m telling you I’ll feel better once I go home.” The command in his voice made it sound final.   
There was no other way.   
“Fine, but I can’t wait until Kenta comes.”   
The girl and I took him towards his car. I put his arm over my shoulder and we all walked together. Itsuki ran over to see what was wrong.  
  
“I’m going to bring Ryousuke-san home.”  
“Okay,” Itsuki replied, glancing at both of us, perplexed by the situation.  
I patted Ryousuke’s pant pockets to check where his keys were and pulled them out. I gave the keys to Itsuki so he could open the passenger side door for us. After opening the door, we tried to put him into the FC’s backseat. This wasn’t an easy feat.  
Itsuki carefully adjusted the passenger seat down and the girl went into the back. She pulled him as I took his arm from my shoulder. I pushed him into the seat as he looked on tiredly. Finally, he sat down. The weight of his body went towards his right and his head landed in the girl’s lap.  
His hair was sticking to his forehead. The girl’s hair covered her concerned face as she patted his face. “Ryou, I told you not to push yourself even though we made a promise.”  
I looked away and closed the door.   
Itsuki stood in front of me. “Call me if you need me to pick you up.”  
I nodded my head and went into the driver’s side of the car, knowing that they had already passed the second section.  
  
After I turned on the ignition, I looked at them sitting in the back. “We’re going now.”  
“Yes.”  
Going as fast I could, I skidded onto the road before we’d interrupt the battle.   
Looking at the rearview mirror to make sure no one was behind me, I saw the girl’s face stare at Ryousuke. I’d avert my eyes and concentrate on the road, but I couldn’t help but catch glimpses of their intimacy.  
 _  
Were Mika and I like that?  
_  
I was nervous about him being upset since I didn’t ask to drive his car, even if it was an emergency.  
All around, I felt uncomfortable: Curious about her, comparing the driver that Keisuke introduced to me on Akagi and the guy lying down with a fever, and feeling all-too-familiar with a car I never imagined I’d handle in this lifetime.  
  
As expected of his expertise, the FC handled like a lullaby. I wasn't noticing how much I was pressing on the accelerator until I read the speedometer.   
  
The feel of the leather around the steering wheel between my fingers,   
seeing through the perfectly transparent glass protecting the rev counter,   
an undistorted spotless dashboard,   
the crispness of the stainless carpet,   
even the angle of the modified seats...  
The FC had a completely different personality from any car I’d ever been in.  
 _  
Complete finesse. Inside and out, this car doesn’t look its age at all.  
_  
By the time we got to the bottom of the mountain, the girl looked up from watching Ryousuke. I was hoping she hadn’t caught me looking at her.   
_  
I had to admit it though: If this was Ryousuke’s taste, she was very cute.  
_  
“Hey.”  
“Yes?”  
“Thank you for all this, Fujiwara-san.”  
My eyes widened in astonishment.   
_  
Come to think about it, she wasn’t surprised about me helping Ryousuke.  
_  
“How’d you know-“   
“You are Fujiwara Takumi-san, right?” The tone gave away that she knew more about me than I’d thought for meeting someone for the first time.   
“Ah!” Her face lit up as Ryousuke mumbled, “Fujiwara, I don’t want to go to the hospital.”  
“I told you we’re not.”   
I turned into the expressway and paid the toll-booth fee.  
“Oh, you shouldn’t.” She was trying to reach for her bag, but I put my hand up. “It’s okay.”  
  
She conceded and nodded her head.   
“So, why do you know me?”  
“You’re the one in the pictures!”  
“Pictures?” I’m beginning to hate repeating myself with everyone recently.  
“There’s a group picture of Project D in his room.”  
“Oh, that one? We took that in Hakone as a memorial photo.”  
 _  
Didn’t she say pictures with an ‘s’?  
_  
“So where’d you take the one that’s inside his wallet?”  
“Excuse me?” I coughed and hit my chest. Gunma seemed far away though we were already at the border.   
It was going to be a long hour and a half.  
  
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  
“Oh, never mind then."  
  
"I’d better give you the address to the house so that you know exactly where we’re going.” She giggled a little. “Some people seem to think he and Kei-chan live on Akagi-san.”  
“It’s okay. I’ve been there before.”  
She gasped. “My cousin usually keeps to himself so I’m surprised.”  
“You’re cousins?”  
 _  
You look closer than that.  
_  
Disbelief and relief clashed inside of me. Somehow, I wasn’t totally convinced.  
  
“He’s my tutor too. Because I got into high school, he said he’d finally bring me to a battle.” She sighed. “I was so excited, but then, I thought something was weird when he picked me up.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Ryou isn’t the type to be absent-minded, but today, he looked like he was in a daze.” I saw her in the mirror as she blinked and positioned her arms over his head protectively. “This guy plans everything to the last drop so I was worried if something was wrong. But Kei-chan left early this morning so I couldn’t ask him about it.”  
“By the way, what’s your name?”  
“Takahashi Tsugumi.”  
“Are you a car-lover like your two cousins?” I tried to joke to lighten the mood.  
 _  
It’s difficult for me to hear you know so much about him.  
_  
“Not particularly. It’s just interesting when they talk about it though.” Again, I could feel the brightness within her voice. “They both found something they truly love. I hope that I can feel that same way too someday.”  
  
She pushed her hair behind her shoulders so that it wouldn’t bother Ryousuke. “How about you? How do you feel after doing Project D?”  
“I’ve never really thought about it, actually. It all passed by so fast.” My mouth curved into a smile as I watched the lights of other drivers on the road. “But I had a lot of fun. It was very challenging, but I felt I did all that I could do. So, I have no regrets.”  
 _  
Or so I thought…  
_  
“I always wanted to talk to you.” I could feel her eyes on me now.  
“Oh?”  
“Whenever Ryou mentions you, he seems to really enjoy it.”   
_  
So he really did talk about me to you, but how much did he tell you?  
_  
“He talks about me? I feel like Keisuke-san and I were always exchanging notes when Ryousuke-san wasn’t within earshot.” I found myself laughing recalling when we were in Tsukuba-san to battle the Purple Shadow.  
 _  
After our first debriefing and Ryousuke went into a van to type something for the hospital, Keisuke rose his hand and called me over to a corner of the parking lot. He gave a perturbed look and asked, “Can you translate that?”  
“I could barely catch enough for what he was trying to tell me.”   
“Che. You looked so sure too.”  
“Because I got my part down.”  
He ran his fingers through his spiky hair. “Well, fine. Next time, we should compare what we heard.”  
“Okay.”   
He kicked the air when he put his hands inside his pant pockets. “Aniki!”   
_  
“I can imagine.” She put her hands over her mouth to laugh. “But yes, he tells me about you from time to time.”  
“I hope it isn’t all bad.”  
“No, nothing like that.” Tsugumi gave a big sigh of relief. “After you both raced on Akina, I thought he’d be sad or disappointed after losing, but it wasn’t that way at all. He was smiling so much as he explained the battle to me, and how he felt behind the wheel.”  
I watched her mouth and then saw her thrilled expression.  
“I’ll never forget that because he said, ‘He’s the one I’ll choose.’ I didn’t get it because he didn’t explain what he meant, but later on, he asked you to join his team.”  
It was then that Ryousuke breathed even more deeply in his sleep.  
 _  
I don’t know what to think about you anymore.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
When we got back, I helped him get into the house as Tsugumi turned on the lights. We took off his shoes and unsteadily walked up the stairs together. She pulled his sleeve and arm as I pushed his back. Tsugumi opened the door to his room and I pulled him along.   
Luckily, we got him into bed safely. After Tsugumi pulled his legs onto the bed, I pulled the covers over him.   
She sat down on the bed and pushed his hair away from his eyes. Then, she got up and we went downstairs.  
I sat at the dining table really wondering how close they were.   
“I don’t want to leave him alone.” Dejectedly, she sighed as she got us each a glass of water to drink. Sitting down across me in one of the steel seats, she explained, “But if I told my parents about what happened, they’ll tell my aunt and uncle about it.”  
Puzzled, I questioned, “Don’t they live together?”  
“No, this is Ryou and Kei-chan’s house. Their parents live somewhere else.” She didn’t go into depth about it. “And since Kei-chan’s in Shizuoka now, Ryou’s the only one here.”  
“How are you going to get home?”  
“I can ask my friends or my dad to pick me up. Don’t worry about me.”  
“What are we going to do?” She looked from side to side in worry.  
“I’ll take care of him. Just leave it to me.”  
“Are you sure? I’m still thinking of an excuse so I can stay here. I usually sleep in the guest room.”  
“It’s okay. Trust me.”  
“I do.”   
  
Since it was a little after midnight, she decided to call her parents to pick her up.  
“Fujiwara-san?” She brought her glass up to eye-level and rolled her thin wrist around, the water swishing around.   
“Yes?” I drank a sip from my glass.  
“I know I shouldn’t ask, but…” She put the glass down onto the table. They made a clinking sound as their surfaces touched. Her eyes wouldn’t look into mine. “Are you really leaving Gunma?”   
  
Her sweet, bell-like voice echoed quietly throughout the room.  
  
“Yes.”  
“They both told me this morning. Kei-chan says he’s been waiting for you.”  
 _  
And what about Ryousuke?  
_  
“Oh.”   
We became very quiet. Since she was hesitating to go further, I asked, “Why are you asking?”  
  
I started to feel my heart slowly beat faster.  
  
“Because Ryou won’t say anything more about it.”  
 _  
You want to say more…  
  
I now know why, from just watching you, you can get this close to him.  
_  
“It’s no big deal.” I tried to push it aside. “Why do you sound so serious? You’ve just gotten into high school. You should be worrying more about that than about someone you’ve just met.”  
“I don’t feel like this is the first time though.” She shook her head and her eyes blinked as she stared straight at me.   
  
It really was hard to ignore that Tsugumi was even more captivating than her cousins.  
  
I drank some more of my water.   
“Please don’t patronize me.” She drank from her glass too. “Ryou scolds me enough as it is. Let’s not talk about Kei-chan in that department…”  
“I’m not. I wouldn’t think about you like that at all. You didn’t even freak out about what happened tonight.”  
“Oh, that’s because…I mean that’s why I was becoming worried in the first place…argh.” She sighed. “I’m not making sense at all. I’m sorry. It’s just hard to explain everything from the very beginning.”  
“No problem.”  
 _  
Does it have to do with what Keisuke was telling me?  
_  
“He’s more peaceful these days.” But her own calmness was fading away too as her hands made fists over her knees. I could see it from across the table. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, she had tears in her eyes. “I’m so glad because this fever is nothing compared to-“  
  
Her phone suddenly played the main theme of a very popular video game called “Wings of the Crystal Rivers”.  
 _  
Compared to what?  
_  
“I’ve got to go now.” She wiped her eyes. “I’m happy I got to finally meet you. Bye Fujiwara-san!”   
“Me too. See you Tsugumi-chan.”  
She closed the door behind her and I felt like a little light had left.  
 _  
I truly understand why he opened up to her.  
_  
Again, like the last time I was here, the stillness took over. I stood up and reached into my pocket to take out my phone. I searched for Itsuki’s number, ready to call, but my eyes looked up towards his room.   
_  
I want to be absolutely sure that you’ll be fine.  
_  
Instead of calling, I sent a message to Itsuki not to wait up for me because I’d contact him in the morning. Also, I asked him if could he call my dad to tell him where I was.   
I put the phone back into my pocket.  
  
I didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment. All of her words were a lot for me to take in.  
  
Along with it, the uneasiness arose once more. My lingering doubts wanted to eat me alive and I could no longer pretend not to be aware of my feelings.  
  
My eyes again searched around the silent house and all its unanswered questions.  
  
I walked up the stairs and into the hallway leading to his room.  
 _  
I hope he doesn’t mind me being here.  
_  
Going into the bathroom, I got a towel and soaked it in the sink under cold water. Then, I squeezed it out and stepped quietly into his room. I put the cold towel on his forehead and sat to one side, watching him as he breathed in deeply.   
  
“Why would someone like you be chasing me?”  
  
I regretted saying my thoughts aloud as he stirred, his eyes blinking rapidly and trying to look into my direction.  
  
Maybe it was because he was hallucinating with his fever, but he reached out for my face between his hands. Then, he pulled my shoulders and wrapped his arms around me like a pillow.  
His fever wasn’t going down at all. I knew I should have brought him to the hospital but I trusted him when he said those words because he was the expert.  
  
Apparently, he was still dreaming.  
  
“Kei, don’t get mad. Everything was my fault,” he whispered softly into my ear. “I should’ve just let him go gracefully instead of protesting.”  
 _  
You were opposing to me going?  
_  
“I don’t want to make the same mistake like with Kaori.” His voice rumbled. “It’s my selfishness…”  
Hugging me firmly, he coughed. “Don’t ever confuse Takumi like that.”  
 _  
When he speaks with Keisuke, he says my first name…  
_  
“Yeah.” I answered, poorly imitating Keisuke’s voice.   
“Don’t tell him anything more.”  
“I promise.”  
  
He smiled peacefully and nodded slowly, letting go of me. I sat up and stayed there without moving a muscle, watching him stupefied by the fact that he was more affected by my words than I’d thought.  
 _  
Their bittersweet words swirl in my head. As I stare at you, I’m trying my hardest to see what everybody else has probably understood.  
But what no one knows is that I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you ever since you’d given me those roses.   
  
You were actually there waiting for me to race you and even then, I thought it was a joke. Someone with an unbeatable record was challenging a newcomer like me.  
When I beat you, it was a miracle because although I didn’t want to lose, I thought maybe it still wasn’t true. You had lost on Akina, but that mountain is a part of me so there was no way I wanted to give it to you.  
All along, I don’t think you lost that race because I’m still not on the same plane as you are.  
  
So when you asked me to join your team, if Itsuki hadn’t said all those things on the school roof, I was seriously thinking maybe I shouldn’t. If I failed, it would be in your world and my pride couldn’t handle it.  
Race after race, I’ve watched you spend countless hours doing all the work behind the scenes so that Keisuke and I could only focus on our driving techniques. You never complained about it.  
  
I did all I was supposed to do. And now, I’ve graduated from you.  
That was the deal, wasn’t it?   
  
But why…  
_  
I leaned forward and found myself lightly holding onto his upper arms. My face shadowed over his.  
 _  
Why is it that when anyone else says or does something, it doesn’t really bother me?  
_  
I hated myself because I could feel the tears coming to my eyes.  
 _  
But the very moment I knew you didn’t need me anymore, why did it hurt so much?  
_  
“When I finally got over it, that’s when you show up in my house.”  
  
I closed my mouth, shocked about what I’d just said. I just wanted to get out of his room and leave his house all together.   
  
However, when I was getting up, he caught my hand. I turned my head to see that his eyes were closed, still in the realm of his dream.  
  
Weakly, he mumbled, “Takumi, don’t leave me.”  
Powerless, I sat back down on the bed.  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve read this manga both in Japanese and English, played all the versions of this game in the arcade and multiple consoles, and watched this anime a LOT (understatement). Yet, I repeatedly go back to find the holes I didn’t understand.  
> Funny thing is that when I first thought about this fic, I kept on thinking, “I want an ending for Ryousuke and Takumi (with a slice of punky Kei)!” Now, I find myself seeking the holes that confused me in the first place and unwrapping them once more, one by one.  
> I think I’m kind of glad how long the manga and anime were because I could understand each of them from an older POV. It doesn’t make it easier to write though…
> 
> I’ve included Tsugumi here because she is a precious character to me. Ever since her first appearance, I’ve been fascinated about what kind of story she had with her cousins. Sadly, we don’t see her so much, but she’s one person I was really interested in knowing.
> 
> If I pour my love into one fic, then I can come back to it feeling satisfied in another passing decade, remembering the feelings I had without regret.
> 
> I hope you’re enjoying this!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	11. The world beyond her(e)

**Disclaimer – My obsession over Initial D prompted me to write this although I do not know this manga. The lyrics, however, are mine.  
  
**  
I waited for his hold on me to grow weaker.  
  
Every time I pulled away, he gripped even harder, as if he couldn’t sleep without something next to him. I sat there watching his face in the darkness. Again, I’d turn my head with my eyes aimlessly wandering around his room.  
  
He breathed peacefully, but what about those times when he’s awake with this unsettling silence? I don’t know why, but the stillness bothered me, just like Tsugumi’s words.  
_  
There’s something lingering in the air that keeps wanting to say more.  
_  
Maybe this was his sanctuary away from the demands of the hospital or all the things that he was assumed to be in control of.  
  
With my free hand, I took the towel from his forehead and brushed away the hair from his face. I flipped the towel over and placed it back on his head.  
_  
Did Keisuke ever have this problem? I want to ask him if you were always like this.  
_  
I yawned and tried again to pull away, but it was useless. He’d wake up the moment I’d try to get away.  
  
In exasperation, I whispered, “Fine. I won’t go anywhere.”  
  
I don’t know if he heard me or not, but his lips slowly curved upwards, his teeth flashing for a moment. The innocence on his face revealed someone else was hiding behind the data and his family’s reputation.  
  
Unexpectedly, his expression made me feel somewhat reassured. And not long after that, I blinked and blinked until I could no longer fight the tiredness.  
_  
I guess I’ll just let it go for today.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
Out of habit, I still got up in time for my deliveries.  
  
I heard his heartbeat against my ear as his breath brushed against my scalp. My blurry eyes opened and closed sleepily, slowly registering the desk across us. His left hand refused to let go of my hand, and now, his right arm was over my shoulders.  
Despite the panic trying to wake up my disorientated mind, I was glad the fever had gone down.  
  
As patiently as I could, I gently pushed his arm away and sat up. Grabbing the other pillow that was close to his head, I stared at that hand again. Yawning in between, I somehow untangled his grip on my hand and replaced it with the pillow. He fully turned towards my side, hugging the pillow and pulling his blanket over himself.  
Taking the towel with me, I got up from the bed and left the door open in case he needed me.  
  
I went to the bathroom to rinse the towel and hung it on the rack behind the door. Then, I washed my face. My cheeks were the worst color of red to date, getting redder while thinking of when I’d almost lost myself when I was talking to him inside my mind.  
The sink was filled with water and I stuck my face into it as it also dawned on me that he’d treated me like a stuffed animal.  
_  
Even when he’s asleep, he still messes with my brain!  
_  
Pulling my head from the water, my reflection stared back at me through the unfamiliar mirror.  
Plip plop, plip plop…Drops of water fell into the sink. Today, the person in the mirror was in another home. Even with all the strange circumstances, the questions in my head as to why that guy could even get sick, and my bruised jaw stinging once in a while, I was glad I was here.  
  
After that day, I thought he’d hated me for how I’d treated him, but instead, I discovered the opposite.  
_  
I’m getting closer and closer to acknowledging how important you are to me.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
I debated on going to a convenience store or a 24-hour supermarket if it weren’t for the fact that I didn’t want to leave him alone in case something happened.  
  
Taking a deep breath, I finally ventured to go into the kitchen.  
  
Turning on the light, I stood frozen for a good minute. Was it even possible that this was the most beautiful part of the house? It was more impressive than the dining and living rooms. It had waxed golden brown floors and white walls. The shiny, deep reddish-brown cupboards and their steel handles sparkled. Even the large sink was two feet away from a steel oven that looked new. The huge window above the sink took at least one-fourth of the kitchen and showed a small patch of grass with some rose bushes. There was even a countertop at the center with two black bar stools and a large restaurant type of refrigerator to one side.  
_  
How does he take care of this all by himself?  
_  
My phone beeped. I checked it and saw that it was Keisuke.  
_  
Message (125/125)  
Name: Keisuke  
Subject: Aniki  
Attachment: None  
  
Hi,  
Heard from Tsugumi that my workaholic Aniki is sick.  
  
I told him to rest, but he doesn’t always listen to me. Then, he forgets to eat when he’s in work mode.  
  
Thanks for helping him yesterday.  
  
Take care of him for me.  
  
I owe you one.  
  
-K.  
  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Message (124/125)  
Name: Itsuki  
Subject: Yesterday  
Attachment: None  
  
Hey Takumi,  
Your dad said it’s okay about the delivery and that he’ll see you later.  
  
Hope Takahashi Ryousuke is fine.  
  
You take care of yourself too.  
  
-Itsuki  
  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Message (123/125)  
Name: Taku  
Subject: Re: Sadamine Pass  
Attachment: None  
  
Hi Wataru,  
  
I am really sorry. I was there last night, but there were some health issues. I’ll explain later.  
  
Thank you. I really wanted to see your new teammate.  
  
I’ll get in touch with you soon.  
  
-Takumi  
_  
After sending the mail, I still held the phone out in front of me.  
_  
How was I going to explain about Ryousuke’s condition? Should I even tell about it? I’m pretty sure someone saw his car there.  
_  
I put my phone into my pocket and walked over to the refrigerator. It really looked like a hotel freezer, too sleek to be in a house kitchen.  
Standing in front of the refrigerator, I opened the cold handles of both sides and looked for something to make.  
_  
How long should I stay until I know he’s all right?  
_  
Somehow, the near-emptiness of the fridge seemed to make things less intimidating. There were some eggs, spinach, green onions, tomatoes, maitake, and frozen meat.  
I took out the green onions and put them on the center counter. Afterwards, I opened cupboard after cupboard to look for some rice and any seaweed. Luckily for me, and as expected, things were categorized. I also put those on the counter.  
_  
What was up with all the Italian coffee? And the endless varieties of Western and Japanese plum, earl grey, and green tea?  
_  
Despite how big and modern it was though, Ryousuke’s house resembled mine in a way: Minus the Italian coffee, all the food was fresh and organic. Everything was high quality, Western or Japanese, that I found really nice almonds as well as brand-name bonito. I recognized it because Dad gave me a lesson about that in the store when I was really young.  
_  
Where does he find the time to maintain everything? Then again, considering his schedule, he’s probably not here most of the time. Does Tsugumi help him with it?  
_  
Taking out some of the small earphones I had, I searched through the music I’d stored on my phone and decided on some dance music to keep me awake.  
I never sang in front of anyone because it was too embarrassing, but once in a while, I secretly did. Putting my phone back into my pocket, I moved my head to the beat and my mouth sang the lyrics in a low whisper.  
  
“I don’t want to turn back there,  
When grayness became my answers.  
But it’s the price to find my treasure  
Giving more than I thought,  
Even what’s in my hands.  
Can I always protect it  
Or will I trade it too?”  
  
I pulled a nabe pot from one of the cupboards and poured some rice into it.  
  
“It was really warm that day  
When I looked at the sun  
And almost burned my eyes,  
Wasn’t I worthy to stare  
At it straight through?  
I wished for many things  
Because of my childishness,  
Thinking when I grew up,  
They’d work themselves out.”  
  
At the sink, I soaked the rice in water and set it on the counter.  
  
“There are too many colors  
In a single crystal prism  
I wonder how many will reveal  
Themselves when I roll it  
In between my fingers?  
Or will I drop it someday  
And never know at all?”  
  
A grin was forming on my face because this song always lifted up my spirits, but when I opened my eyes, there Ryousuke stood in the threshold, crossing his arms and smirking at me.  
  
I wiped my hands on a towel and quickly turned off the music, taking my earphones off and putting everything away into my pocket. It was hard to look at him.  
  
“Good morning.” The smugness on his face didn’t seem like it was leaving anytime soon.  
_  
He looks too amused for someone who’d just woken up.  
_  
Clearing my throat, I said, “Uh…good morning. How are you feeling today?”  
“Still a bit dizzy, but much better than yesterday.”  
Out of embarrassment, I continued to stand behind the counter. “So, why did you get up so early?”  
“I usually have to finish reports or look at racing stats. This is the only time I can fit them into my schedule.”  
“Oh.” I immediately thought of all the trouble Tsugumi and I had to get him to his room. “But you can’t go to the hospital like this.”  
“To tell the truth,” he said as he walked to the bar stool and sat down. “I already took this week off.”  
He put his elbows on the counter. Balancing his chin on his interlocked fingers, he continued to stare at me very closely.  
  
Even with messed up bed hair and sleepiness in the air, he was still in complete control.  
  
“You even plan when you get sick.” I chuckled at how meticulous he was, coincidence or not.  
“I needed time to prepare something.” He coughed and patted his chest.  
I got a glass of water and handed it over to him.  
“Thanks.” He drank it and put it down with a sigh. “Now with this, I don’t know if I can finish it in time.”  
“Can’t you ask for an extension?”  
Ryousuke shook his head with a slightly worried expression. “Not in this case.”  
“Can I help you then?”  
“I’ll be sure to ask you when the time comes.”  
“All right.”  
He coughed again and I went over to his side to pat his back. While I put my hand on his forehead, his expression changed from concerned to very serious.  
Ryousuke’s cheeks were still flushed.  
  
We found ourselves staring at one another.  
  
He was really searching into my eyes for something and I watched him as he did so. I took my palm away from his forehead, but was too dumbstruck to move away from him.  
  
“You’re truly fascinating.”  
_  
What image of me are you so attracted to?  
_  
“You sometimes remind me of her.”  
My face was slowly changing to different shades of red and I gulped.  
“Kaori…” There was a soft smile on his lips as he said, “You both have the habit of opening your mouth halfway when you’re unsure and want to say something about it.”  
_  
Kaori...  
It hurt to hear him say her name both in such a precious and lonely way…  
_  
“Why do you always compare us? Even Keisuke mentioned about her.”  
  
He folded his hands in front of him and looked at the ground. “I don’t really talk about her, but your confidence in what you have and the uncertainty of everything else around it is completely identical.”  
_  
The mystery surrounding this Kaori was like a room full of dark smoke. I knew the further I went into the walls of this place, the more I’d be burned, even consumed by her presence between us.  
_  
“Remember when I told you that you should see beyond Akina?”  
He didn’t sound like himself.  
I was almost afraid to answer. “Yes.”  
_  
I remember it everyday, especially now that I’m going.  
_  
His grave voice told me, “Once you leave here, you probably won’t be the same.”  
  
When Ryousuke’s head looked up to face me once more, for a second I heard nothing at all, as if my ears had suddenly gone deaf.  
  
My heart completely shattered in between his honesty.  
_  
That face...  
Why are you looking at me with such painful eyes?  
  
I don’t want to see you like this.  
_  
“Why did you say that? You’re the one who said for to me to follow you so that I’d grow.”  
“I know, but that expression might disappear once you go out into the world.” He squinted his eyes as they began to turn a bit red. “My selfish year seems so much shorter now.”  
  
My hands opened to touch him, but I held myself back and clenched them into fists. “This is what I trained for. You’re the one who taught me to get to this point, Ryousuke-san. Wasn’t that the reason why you challenged me to go against you in Hakone?”  
  
“For you, yes. I’ve given you everything I possibly could within my reach.” Ryousuke reached out his hands towards me. His fingers touched my neck, his index fingers went under my ears, and his thumbs tenderly pressed on my jaw.  
I winced as his warm hands held my face so that he could make his point without me running away.  
  
“For me, it’s to keep the small part of you that’s completely mine.”  
“I…”  
  
I caught myself before I finished and closed my lips.  
_  
…still want more too, Ryousuke.  
_  
**Tsuzuku…/To be continued…  
**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are back to Takumi and Ryousuke on the same page! Ryousuke is older and knows most of the things Takumi will face from here until he becomes his age. Can Ryousuke really just watch it all happen? Will Takumi finally figure things out? To tell the truth, at this point, this confuses me too.
> 
> Okay, I hate to wring out the heart, but it’s what I do with my favorite characters. It’s difficult to make long fics, but the build up tickles me silly.  
> Why do I do this to myself…?
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	12. To see everything.

**Disclaimer – Initial D and Street Fighter do not belong to me.  
  
**  
“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”  
  
I studied his face but he continued to listen to me without saying a word.   
_  
I don’t know if it’s because you’re still not well, but there is genuine fear in those eyes.  
Like I’d never come back.   
_  
“Why are you so sure that I’ll change?”  
  
Ryousuke’s hands moved from my face, to my shoulders, and crossed over my back. Embracing me tighter, he pulled me a little forward that I had to stand on my toes to keep balance. In shock, I looked from side to side as my cheek rested on his shoulder and his chin touched my neck. One hand touched the back of my head and caressed the tips of my hair.  
  
Again, I felt his heart beating as it pushed into my chest.  
  
Off in the dining room, I could hear the whistle of the cuckoo clock.   
  
Ryousuke began to cough, but he wouldn’t let me go.   
_  
Always perceptive, you’ve learned from others mistakes. You made sure that I’d absorb them like osmosis in every single battle.  
Everyone has their weaknesses, but I’d never thought you’d show me yours.   
  
Outside these walls and this house, no one should ever see you like this.   
I promise I won’t ever let them know.  
_  
“I’ll stay with you, Ryousuke-san.” I patted his back and gently rubbed it up and down. “I won’t go anywhere for today.”  
“I’m sorry for bothering you since last night.” He sighed and his whole body relaxed.   
“You’re never a bother to me.”  
  
He began to cough again so he pulled away, but even when he put his hand over his mouth, I held onto his shoulders. “You’ve got to get back to bed.”  
Shaking his head like a child protesting, he replied, “I’ll just stay on the couch then.”  
As he walked to the couch, I went to his room to get a cobalt blue blanket from his closet. Even though I was distressed about that melancholic expression, I couldn’t help but smile to myself.   
  
My heart broke, and in that same moment, his unguarded vulnerability, made it warm again.  
 _  
This closeness was what Keisuke was jealous about...  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
When I came into the living room with breakfast, he was watching the morning report.  
He took the bowl I made for him. “I’m surprised Tsugumi didn’t stay over.”  
I sat in the chair next to his. “She wanted to, but she looked like she had to do something.”  
We said grace and began to eat.  
“Why did you stay? Don’t you have deliveries during this time? Actually, you should be arriving back by now.”  
I raised an eyebrow. “How would you know that?”  
“Keisuke and I were there when you tested out the ’86. I wanted to see the new engine for myself.”   
_  
He says this very matter-of-factly while eating porridge and doesn’t notice that I’m stumped by how much data he really has on me.  
_  
“You really do know everything.” I teased while turning my head to look him straight in the face.  
“I’m not a stalker.”   
_  
I never thought this guy could blush.  
  
This is kind of fun. Usually, everyone’s making fun of me for one thing or the other. Especially at home.   
_  
He glanced at me and cleared his throat. “And I don’t know quite as much I’d like to.”   
_  
Embarrassingly, it is very possible to choke on porridge.  
_  
Ryousuke put his hand over his mouth as I pounded on my chest.   
Out of nowhere, he got a napkin to wipe my mouth and his eyes were laughing.  
“Hey!”  
“So that’s why Keisuke loved to get reactions out of you.” He flashed me a smile that stopped me from moving all together.  
I looked to one side, almost pouting.  
 _  
Is he being this charming because he’s comfortable at home?  
_  
“Well, it’s good to see you’re feeling better if you can laugh.”  
“It’s because you’re here.”  
 _  
How can he say these things so seriously???  
_  
I looked back at him and began to eat again.  
“Has this thing happened before?”  
“Yes. It has been a while, but it has.” He resumed eating again.  
With full sincerity, I told him, “If there’s anything you need, I’ll be here.”  
He put his bowl down and put his right hand over his eyes. Ryousuke began to chuckle. “I’m old enough to take care of myself so you don’t have to worry so much.”  
“I was being-“  
He reached his hand out to me and ran it through my hair. “I know. Thank you.”  
 _  
You’re doing it again.  
To keep us from knowing anything about you. We’re always some distance away.  
  
No wonder Keisuke is more frustrated than me.  
_  
I winced again at my jaw’s dull pain.  
He caught my chin. “Is this Keisuke’s fault?”  
“No, it was my stupidity.”  
Ryousuke gave my jaw a good look over. It was still bruised and if I pushed on it, the bone hurt.  
Letting go of my chin, he said with full resolve, “To make up for it, I won’t touch any work.”  
“I’m going to make sure you don’t.”  
“Is that so?”   
_  
Is it my imagination or does he sound like he’s really enjoying this?  
_  
“Why not? I’ve not had a day off since we ended Project D and with packing.”  
“Hmm.” He rubbed his chin.  
“Has it been that long since you’ve had a day off?”  
“Day off…”  
I blinked my eyes in astonishment. “What do you do on your days off?”  
“Read books about racing, look for new talent and plan my theory.”  
 _  
Ohhh boy. Keisuke, I take it all back.  
He needs more than a ‘break’.  
_  
“Shouldn’t you spend that time sleeping or something?”  
“When I stay here, I always find something to do, which was what got me in trouble in the first place.”   
“Sometimes, I think you need ‘trouble’. Actually, it’s nice to know once in a while you’re like one of us.”  
“I’m not?”  
“Anyone who talks about you, I’m sure you know, says you’re some kind of superhuman. That’s an understatement.”  
“I just do what I’m supposed to.” He gave a thoughtful look. “It isn’t as admirable as you think.”  
“You’re really great though.” I really wished he couldn’t see my expression at that moment.  
“It’s very hard not to envy how you see things so clearly.”  
“Not really, I’m-“ I stammered.  
“You face yourself without reservations. That’s what I like about you.”  
  
I leaned back into my chair as I did so, the sports section of the report came up. We were both watching a foreign press conference for the new driver of a British team.  
 _  
She was the rookie with the contract?  
_  
“Iwase Kyouko.” Ryousuke smiled at the television. “I bet Keisuke is watching this right now.”  
“That’s why she wasn’t there yesterday. She was already abroad.”  
“You were wondering about that as well.”  
“Didn’t Keisuke refuse her because of Project D?”  
“Yes, but I’m sure he couldn’t forget her.”  
  
They were showing a clip of her first few runs on her new team. Ryousuke and I watched at how much she’d improved since our race together.  
“Oh, that’s why Keisuke’s so fixated on her.”  
“Why do you say that? He never talked about her since that day.”  
“He’s single-minded that way.” He glanced over towards me. “Maybe both of us are.”  
“That’s the only way you’ll reach your goals.”  
He tilted his head. “You could put it that way.”   
I got our bowls and stood up.  
  
With my back to him, I said, “Ryousuke-san, since it’s your day off, what would be the most impossible thing you’d ever want to do right now?”  
“But there is nothing impossible. Just inaccessible at the moment.”  
 _  
Trying to talk to Ryousuke about things outside of racing is more difficult than I thought…  
_  
“I mean don’t you ever want to get away?”  
“Honestly, yes, I do. Once in a while. There are times I wonder if I never became the Red Suns’ leader or the White Comet.”  
“I can’t bring you far, but how about Tokyo?”  
I shouted out as he grabbed my waist and turned me around. My knees were on the couch cushions as he kept holding onto my hips. I was trying hard to hold onto the bowls, not fall over and keep my head from boiling over.  
Looking down at him, again, he smiled up at me, but this time, it was sparkling. “Are you picking me up, Fujiwara?”  
Flustered, I shook my head nervously. “N-no.”  
“I’ll get ready then.” He winked at me.  
Standing as fast I could, I went to the kitchen to wash the dishes as he prepared. When I finished, he called out, “Come up!”  
When I went to his room, he was dressed in a white blouse and khaki pants. Ryousuke was pulling the waist of a pair of complicated blue pants that had straps and zippers in many different places. He put it near my waist to check it. “These were Keisuke’s, but he hardly wore them. You can have them.”  
Before I could even decline, he already stepped out of his own room and closed the door before him.  
I saw the white v-neck t-shirt on his bed, a package of new underwear, and a bag. I shook my head and put everything on, placing my stuff in the bag.  
  
When I went downstairs into the living room, he nodded his approval. “All set.”  
I felt more self-conscious than ever and blurted out, “I’m just doing this because you’re sick.”  
“I’m glad I did.” He coughed.  
“You’re enjoying this,” I retorted back.  
“Very much.” That smug face appeared once more. “Aren’t you?”  
  
And that’s how I ended up driving the FC again.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
First, we went to Asakusa to pray at Sensoji Temple. We went up the stairs and inside, Ryousuke and I each got an oracle reading. His piece of paper read “Excellent Luck” while mine had “Good Luck” so we put both of them in our wallets.  
Then, we went over to Sky Tree to eat some Hawaiian burgers that I always wanted to try, but Ryousuke wanted to go to a higher floor to eat his favorite green tea ice cream with red bean.   
We went up to the top and saw all of Tokyo, from Shinjuku to Kasai Rinkai Koen.  
Once in a while, I’d check to see Ryousuke’s eyes light up as he looked over the bay. He seemed to really like water.  
  
“I thought you came here often to do research.”  
“True, but I never really saw the city.”  
“How about you?”  
“I don’t know much about Tokyo. I went around Ikebukuro sometimes or that school trip to Tokyo Tower, but that’s it.” I put my hands on the railing and looked down at Sumida River. “I wasn’t that interested to see what was here. Actually, I never really thought I’d ever leave Gunma.”  
He put his index fingers on my chin and on the top of my head. Then, he moved it from side to side.  
“I’m scared of you changing because of all of this. But it is very beautiful too. It’s like when we are driving down the pass. You can only see the world as far you can go.” He took his fingers away. “I want you to see everything that could be yours.”  
  
“When I first started doing battles, that’s what my dad said, ‘Keep Akina inside of you and you’ll have no problems.’”  
  
“Then, I’ll trust in that.” He walked off to go the elevator that would take us back to the bottom of Sky Tree.   
  
An hour later, we parked in one of the 24-hour parking areas near Yodohashi Electronics and walked on the main street of Akihabara. Because it was Sunday, this road was closed for the public to walk through and it felt like thousands of people were bustling to get from one game center, electronics store, or discount anime shop to another.  
  
We went into one of the game centers called “Tokyo Leisure World”.   
The first thing that caught Ryousuke’s eye was something called Street Fighter. He started watching and as he held his chin in contemplation, I just glanced at him and the player. Player after player went but weren’t disturbed by him. Then, after half an hour, he finally spoke. “Okay, I’ll try that.”  
“You never played this with Keisuke?”  
“He did, but not me. I was more interested in reading. I just wanted to drive. That’s all I ever wanted to do.”  
“Why driving?”  
“Remember the ‘80s? The bubble period was full of its mishaps. Yes, it was a crazy time, but when I think about it, we were lucky to see that there was even a chance to be on top of the world. To have everything. When there was a glance that the rules of former life could be broken and changed. I watched racing because I’d secretly seen my mother watch it when father was on call at the hospital. She didn’t know I saw the world where people worked together with what they had created. Sure there were accidents, but they actually found something that could find perfect harmony between man and machine. That’s what a car is to me.  
“So when I watch you, I knew that perfection of beauty I watched on the screen had finally come into life. That is the true reason I’d created Project D.  
“I didn’t mean to antagonize you with my fantasies.”  
  
He sat down in front of the flashing screen and all I could do was stare at his profile.  
No one had ever told me such a thing in my whole life. Praises, accolades, and flattery came in all forms as well as threats, sneers, and challenges, but I don’t think anyone had given me those words with all of themselves behind them.  
 _  
Then again, I had always believed in all the things you told me. So, of all the people who had taught me to see myself as I truly was,  
  
it couldn’t have been anyone but you.  
_  
I put my left hand on his shoulder. His fingers lightly touched the top of my hand before starting to play his game.  
  
Letting go, I stepped back and watched him duplicate the exact moves the multiple people who sat in front of us, evolving as the minutes passed.   
Even if he was just playing against the computer, it was too amazing.  
 _  
He really was the type to go all out. In everything.  
  
Maybe somewhere in his plans…  
…that included me as well?_  
 **  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think Takumi’s cute point is his cluelessness. And for me, Ryousuke would have a lot of fun with that…  
> I don’t know why, but that’s the single thing that kept me watching (besides their awesome cars). And Ryousuke and Keisuke have been following him ever since they raced. They both observe different parts of him, and yet, he completely thinks it’s normal.  
> I find all this completely adorable.
> 
> And with all the heaviness, I think I needed waffy right about now. Definitely need to finally get out all those dorky doujinshi scenes that have spun in my head.
> 
> Thank you to all the readers who are reading and who will read this in the future, this fic means a lot to me so I appreciate all your support.
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	13. You are my polyrhythm.

**Disclaimer – Initial D and Street Fighter belong to their respective owners and have only been used here out of love and admiration.  
  
**  
Click click click click click.  
  
Ryousuke picked up Street Fighter as if he’d been playing it for months rather than for the very first time. I was truly dumbfounded by how deftly his fingers hit everything and how fast he tested for all the special moves within each round.  
About an hour into the game, he beat the computer. Someone on the other side challenged him. Even though he lost, he had really given the guy the runaround that when then stood up, they bowed their heads to one another in acknowledgement.   
“See you around!” the high-schooler said enthusiastically as he and his friends in the same uniform went down the escalator.   
When he left, Ryousuke tilted his head towards the other side. “Why don’t you give it a try?”  
“But I haven’t touched this in years.”  
  
Suddenly, a flash of all those times I played with Itsuki came back to me.  
Those were not good times. Most of it was spent with Itsuki playing while I read his manga. The few times that I played though, I beat him after he taught me and it just didn’t feel right.  
He loved trying everything and I went along with it because it would turn out crazy at first, but overall fun in the end. So when he got into cars, it was more perplexing that his love for something had finally struck a chord within me.  
  
Not to mention the obsessed driver who was now luring me to try another game of his.   
_  
Just because I said we could go into the city, this cool and composed guy has forgotten his own discretions.  
_  
The coaxing look he gave was evil. “Please play with me, Fujiwara.”  
 _  
It is official: This man has no shame.  
_  
“Fine.” Hesitantly, I rounded the corner to go to the other side where another machine was connected to his. I sat there not even knowing which character I should pick.  
He picked the same character he’d just battled with. His name was, Ryu. I picked some girl in blue because from the last I remembered, she was the most agile.   
_  
His logic = strength and adaptability.  
My logic = speed and agility.  
  
It now makes sense why he wanted to play this.  
_  
The machine announced, “Round 1!”   
I had no idea what the heck I was doing. The buttons were confusing to remember and I knew there were combinations, but as we experimented the game, I noticed that I was following his lead through defensive measures, but by round 2, it seemed boring so I went on the offensive.  
  
I could only imagine how his face looked because he wasn’t merciful in any way.  
  
A kick, jump, and some super moves later, in the end, when we both got up, he looked across and gave me that pleased smirk.  
“I just reacted to what you did.” I seriously commented, and secretly felt exasperated over it.  
“It isn’t that way at all.” He shook his head, satisfied with our game. “Play with other people sometime. Then, you’ll probably see what I see in you.”  
  
“The things you say…” I pulled on his arm. The summer heat could probably masquerade my increasing body temperature.   
“Did I say something wrong again?”  
“It’s not that they’re wrong, per se.”  
 _  
Keisuke, how can your brother be so smart and charismatic, but so dense with the weight of his words? Millimeter by millimeter, going below the cold business exterior, his simplicity catches me off-guard.  
  
It keeps capturing me.   
_  
We walked out and across the street to go to a game center that was on top of a well-known discount goods shop.   
I finally let go of his arm and he looked up and down the machine, pointing at it in bemusement. “Why do we need to play a game when we can actually do it in real life?”  
“Just go and try it.” I pushed him in to the seat and put money into the game machine.   
“It says if I should buy a card.”  
I put in more money. “If you don’t want it, just give it to me.”  
 _  
It’s hard to imagine that he didn’t play video games even though he’s always with his computers.  
_  
Again, he was in ‘analyze mode’ and became incredibly quiet as he played. Match after match, I kept on feeding the machine as he won each one, but with a slightly disconcerted look on his face. There was no other way to describe it.  
As the timer counted down to continue, he finally turned to me with his hands still on the steering wheel. “The dynamics of this game aren’t accurate. Did you see that half the layout in Akina Lake is incomplete? Then in Akagi, you have to break to make a full turn in order not to crash where the yellow and black yield wall is.”   
Chuckling, he added, “And Kyouichi would be very angry if everyone knew you could do that shortcut in Irohazaka.”  
“You’re right. Nothing happens much when you use the gutters in Akina either.” I shrugged my shoulders. “I know your projectiles are more detailed, but you have to admit it’s still fun to play.”  
Sitting in the adjacent seat, I tilted my head to one side. “Winner buys dinner?”  
Not even bothering to respond, he went right back into no-holds bar mode and chose Tsukuba.   
_  
We were off in our own world again. Only a few minutes in an alternate universe, but I could have sworn he was really in the FC and that I was still racing in the ’86.  
  
That’s the only reason I loved playing the game.  
  
I missed my brother but I couldn’t say it aloud to anyone.  
_  
Coming back into reality, there were many people clapping and taking pictures of us on their phones. When we looked around, many men, women, boys, and girls were gathered around us. We also heard some gasps when they knew who we were.  
“It’s Takahashi Ryousuke playing a racing game!”  
“Hey, isn’t the guy next to him the ’86 driver?”   
  
Besides being the electronics center of Tokyo, I failed to realize that this was also one part of fanboy and fangirl heaven.  
 _  
I didn’t know we were this popular.  
_  
Leaning over, I whispered, “Ryousuke-san, I think we need to go.”  
  
Miraculously, we managed to slip out through the fervent crowd. We needed to get off the radar and fast. The first thing I saw was a karaoke shop and so I pulled him into it. We soon got a room.  
“Do you mind coming here?”  
He shook his head. “I haven’t been to these since Keisuke and Kaori dragged me.”  
 _  
Was this such a good idea considering the fact that it was partly because of his voice that I couldn’t concentrate on his instructions? That even when he’d commented on my driving and said the word ‘mellifluous’, it sounded ‘intriguing’?  
  
It was too late now to restrategize.  
  
Keisuke, I deserve this bruise.  
_  
He looked at the large remote, glanced at me and then looked at it again. Within a minute, the song he chose came on and my mind drifted that I forgot to put my own song in.  
  
He’d glimpse at me once in a while in between his singing.  
 _  
He appears to be genuinely happy though. I’m glad we came.  
_  
When it was my turn, even though I was terribly shy, I thought it’d be fair to sing. That was until I caught him watching me very attentively.   
_  
This small booth doesn’t hold the White Comet or the Downhill Specialist.  
  
It’s nice to breathe like the time before expectations came along with those titles. But if it weren’t for them, we wouldn’t even be here now.  
_  
When he got up to sing again, I was mesmerized yet again by his strength. I missed the title because it was a Eurobeat song with English lyrics. I only recognized it because it was on his playlist while I drove the FC. The only word I could make out was “Déjà vu”.   
  
After finishing, I asked him what the song translated to. Patiently, he put the song on once more and explained it line by line. The beat had been so deceiving because the deepness in the lyrics came at me like a typhoon. It tore through all my defenses and clutched onto my whole body with all its energy.   
  
“Whenever I hear this song, you always come to mind.”  
 _  
While doubting if I’d truly understood the core of every battle and secretly beat myself up that I could have done so many things better, he had risked his whole reputation on his brother and me.  
  
That kind of conviction takes more than faith.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
We ate at an okonomiyaki restaurant in Agua City and left a little after 11pm.  
  
“I have to see something, so I’ll drive.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“It’s only two blocks down.”   
We ended up back near the entrance of the walking path to Rainbow Bridge. Going down into a garage and parking, we then went up an elevator. I followed as he got off on the top floor and stopped in front of a door that read 1562. There was no name on the nameplate.  
He took out a key and we both entered into the apartment. Before he turned on the light, right in front of us was a big window overlooking the ocean. After taking off my shoes, I went straight to that window and saw Rainbow Bridge and all of this side of Odaiba.  
“What is this place?”  
He stood behind me. “It’s my apartment.”  
“You own this?”  
“I bought it years ago.” He walked to stand next to me.  
I was so entranced by the window that I didn’t know it was the sliding door to the balcony.   
Ryousuke and I stepped out. While staring at the ocean again, he said, “Whenever I come down, I stay here.”  
My phone vibrated, but I ignored it.  
He leaned his elbows on the metal railing. “Would you mind staying one more night with me?”  
“I thought you needed to get stuff done?”  
“Yes, and I’ve enjoyed acting impulsively.” He turned his head towards me. “But there are some things I have to discuss with you. I know you need to go home and I don’t want to waste your ti-“  
“No, I don’t mind at all. I want to be here.”  
 _  
Maybe it was more than the race after all.  
If I don’t find out now, I don’t think you’ll ever tell me.  
_  
“Thank you.” He went back into the apartment and into the bedroom to get something.  
  
Wanting to answer the message later, I ignored it and called my dad to let him know I was going to stay out again. He was pretty aloof about the whole thing.  
  
Turning around, I opened the sliding door and sat down on the light brown couch. There was a large lamp shaped like a paper lantern right by the sliding door. A rectangular glass table was over a small rug with circle patterns. Each circle was a different color. Opposite to his kitchen at home, this wooden floor was very very dark brown. There was a small white shelf at the corner to my right with a white phone on top and books and notes underneath. There was no tv, but paintings decorated the walls.   
  
He finally came out of his room with a laptop.   
  
“I left my computer at home on so I can access it remotely.” He placed this silver laptop on the transparent table.  
  
Ryousuke started to look pale again. “Except Keisuke, Tsugumi, and Matsumoto, I never told this story to anyone. The reason why I’m telling you is because you deserve to know why I need you to battle against me in Hakone.”  
  
I sat up straight, feeling a little scared of what he was about to tell me. A cold breeze passed even through this humidity.  
Something was definitely wrong.  
  
Yet again, my phone vibrated, but I couldn’t look at it.  
  
He took a hold of my left wrist and we stood in front of the bedroom door. He took a long drawn out breath and opened the door. It was completely dark.  
Still holding onto me, he stayed by the threshold as I stepped inside.  
  
“You’re the first person to ever see this room.”  
  
Turning on the bright light, a flood of images appeared. There were pictures all over the room, except for the closet. The beige walls were lined with sketches and calligraphy to cover every single centimeter. There was nothing but ink, pencil and paper.  
 _  
Chaotic and neat…  
A crystal clear image of his soul.  
  
The FC couldn’t scratch the surface of what was in these walls.  
_  
The sketches on the left were all of one woman.   
  
“Is she Kaori?”  
He squeezed my wrist as a response.  
 _  
Left profile, winking right profile, chin looking up to the sky, standing by Akagi Shrine, laughing as she hugged the FC’s hood, serious while studying, putting her hand out when she was angry, napping on his lap while holding a book in the beach…  
  
What is your dream, Ryousuke? You can’t hold out one hand and keep one to yourself if you want to trust people. There are so many possibilities, so why do you keep thinking there’s only one way?  
  
I can’t betray you, him, or my family because I love you all. That’s all I ever wanted.  
  
I believe in you because I trust you more than I trust myself.  
  
They contrast by nature, and yet they can exist together in you. You are my polyrhythm.   
_  
I blinked my eyes as the gravity of their feelings wrapped around me. The wall seemed to expand the longer I stared at it.  
  
 _  
Is this your answer to me? That I can’t win against your ideal?  
_  
  
“When I went out of control, Keisuke didn’t know where I went but he trusted that I would return home. I came here and drew everything that I could remember so that I wouldn’t ever forget.” Ryousuke walked straight to the wall in front of him.   
  
Touching the wall, I saw a drawing of me from his perspective. It was from the audience of my first battle. The back of Keisuke’s head contrasting with my disinterested face. A note on the bottom said, “I want to race him.”  
  
“This was the first drawing I replaced over a memory.”  
  
Gradually, he let go of his grip on me and I stepped forward to see things from his eyes.   
_  
Tsugumi’s tears at graduating elementary school.  
Profiles on all of our team members and even the specifications for all the trucks.   
Keisuke’s surprise when he sat next to him on the FC and the moment after he’d raced Iwase.  
Matsumoto fixing my car and another time when he’d grinned after finishing the FC.   
Kenta crying while holding onto Keisuke’s sleeves to say he finally qualified for the team.  
_  
I faced my own self.  
 _  
I smiled while holding the hood of the ’86 with both of my hands. The anguish of when the engine blew up. My frustration when I didn’t know what Matsumoto had just instructed me to fix.  
  
The way I stared straight at Ryousuke after our race at Akagi.  
_  
My heart was pounding itself out of confusion.  
  
“Do you understand now? Are you disgusted with me?”  
“I can’t believe I’m on this wall…” My head moved from side to side in complete awe. I breathed heavily and various angles of my face were reflecting all the parts of me I hadn’t even known about.  
  
“Don’t hate me because of the magnitude of this wall...”  
 _  
Was I wrong about everything because it seemed impossible for him to be this focused on me? But here was a window to all the things I’d pushed away because of my second thoughts.  
_  
“…because I want you.”  
 _  
How do you think…Why are you…?  
I could no longer think coherently.  
_  
Ring! Ring!   
The phone startled us and he ran out to the living room to see what it was.   
I paid no attention to it until the answering machine picked up a malicious voice message.  
  
“Ryousuke. Where are you? I demand you come back immediately. Why are you neglecting your duties and suddenly going on vacation? You can’t just take a week off, especially since you have to be an example to the other staff members.  
“Are you with that boy? I let you play and our deal was that you’d do this according to my conditions. If he doesn’t have anything to do with your future, why do you insist on associating with him?”  
  
I walked out of the bedroom. When I saw the side of Ryousuke’s face, he listened to the message with a look of horror.   
  
“I got him investigated after he left the hospital. He and especially YOU have to realize your places in society. The girl was already more than enough, but you don’t learn from your ‘mistakes’. I’ve had enough of your side escapades...”  
  
I blankly stared at his phone, feeling as if his father was talking to me directly.  
  
He took the receiver into his hand, almost wanting to break it, answering in a seething tone. “I’ve done everything you wanted. What else will you take from me?”  
  
Trying to process everything, the heaviness of everything had finally taken its toll on me. The pressure in my head was ready to crush upon itself.  
 _  
I can’t breathe anymore.  
_  
Even though I was barefoot, I walked towards the front door. He dropped the phone and reached out his hand, but it was too late. The door closed and I was already running towards the elevator.  
 _  
A long time ago, maybe I would have dissed how my family was, but not now. To me, even if my dad drank and made me do his deliveries, I knew he trusted me. We depended on one another.  
I was proud of what he did by himself, especially that he didn’t freak out or fall apart when my mother passed away.   
  
He was always there for me.  
_  
I ran across the street towards the ocean because there was nowhere left to go. It was already almost midnight, so no one was around.  
  
His footsteps got closer and closer. “Don’t listen to him. Ignore it. I’ll take care of it later.”  
 _  
But your father is right. What would I fight for anyway?  
Nothing will come from this.  
  
I know what I can and cannot be.  
_  
“It was a nice daydream, Ryousuke-san. For a minute there, I really was starting to believe what you’ve been trying to say to me.”  
“Please listen to me.”   
“You heard what your father said.”  
“No. I refuse to.”  
“Then, is it okay for him to look down on me? Even if you want me, will you look at me like that someday too?”  
“Don’t I get to say anything?” He grabbed my upper arms from behind me.  
“What else is there left to say?” I remained standing with my back to him.   
  
The water lapped at our feet.  
  
“You’re just prolonging the inevitable. I don’t know why you’re protesting, but in the end, you or I will leave right? What the hell do you, Keisuke, or your cousin expect from me?”  
 _  
After this, we can finally go back to our normal lives. I can pretend that my heart wasn’t broken over and over again by you.  
I will finally move on and stop hoping.  
  
That’s partly why I chose to move away…  
_  
“I have seen many things leave my life. My parents. Kaori. Racing. Options for what I wanted…”  
Ryousuke’s hands trembled.   
  
I had never heard him shout before, so much so that his voice was hoarse, but he did for me.   
  
“But of all those things, I’ve never once thought of giving you up, Takumi!”  
  
 **  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was very stuck and suddenly, while engaged with the Evo Championship on tv, Infiltration and Fuudo’s final match inspired me. In the middle of the matches, I wrote on my notepad.  
> Since Akiba is a place I love, I had to mention it here with these two. Of course, this is all fangirling on my part but that shouldn’t be too much of a problem. *laughs* (And yes, I’ve found Dave Rodgers songs in karaoke. I love love love Initial D music.)
> 
> I know that some places were really excruciating to write, but I really wanted to plunge into each of these characters.
> 
> I hope I can do this title proud from all the love and courage it has taught me.
> 
> Thank you for reading so far! I was very happy to know that people think they are in-character. For me, that is the most important thing for fanfic writing since we are writing through someone else’s world.
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	14. Let myself go.

**Disclaimer – This obsessed Initial D fan doesn’t own this manga, anime, or video game.  
  
**_  
My name…You finally called me by name.  
  
There you go again.  
Like these waves, you encourage me to keep coming and then you pull me in.  
  
Now, I’ve finally reached the bottom of your ocean and all my submerged fears rise until I’m forgetting what it means to breathe. Each truth keeps me from returning to the surface.  
  
All the while, I hate myself for wanting to be entangled.  
_  
“I’m tired of playing your games.” I mindlessly watched the ocean as it soaked the cuffs of my pants. “You always put up another challenge for me to conquer. But what am I supposed to take with me?”  
  
My fear finally came out through my lips. “There will be a time you won’t be there. In the end, I can’t win you, Ryousuke-san.”  
_  
Driving is all I have.  
  
There is nothing else for me. It encapsules all of who I am. If I give that to you, I’ll have nothing left.  
  
I won’t have you and not even my self.  
_  
  
I looked up to the dark sky so that I wouldn’t cry. “Instead of pursuing me, you should get her back. I’m sure Kaori is waiting for you.”  
  
My whole being turned deathly numb. “It’s okay to let me go, Ryousuke-san.”  
  
Slowly, his hold on my arms lessened until even the warmth of his fingers dissipated. I took a few steps into the water until it reached my knees, and compared the night sky to what I had seen with him before.  
  
“I can’t.” His voice was very low.  
  
I turned around to see that desperate expression once more. His distressed eyes spoke for themselves. All the life in his voice just a moment earlier and the rest of his body had evaporated.  
  
He was frozen in place.  
  
“Why?”  
“She’s dead.”  
_  
Everything inside me was breaking down. I’m trying to hold on, but…  
  
My heartless words…  
_  
“I bought that apartment so that we could live together. When I was going to call her, she called me first to say sorry. And then…” He clenched his fists and tried to take a breath of air. “When they were going to write about it in the news, my father bribed them to keep my name out of it. He gave money to both of their families as part of my penance too. I don’t know if they took it though.  
“Her father almost killed me and loathes me to this day. So that’s how my parents coerced me into a contract to take over the clinic. I set myself up for this ‘perfect future’.”  
  
I took a step closer.  
  
“As they buried her, I could only watch from afar. On that day, I finally realized what an empty person I was until I’d met Kaori. All my life, I’d done everything so that I didn’t have any confrontations. I was so accommodating to everyone. I really despised myself for all of it.  
“Keisuke knows I fulfilled all my obligations outside of our house, but in it, I didn’t eat at all and would lock myself in my room. I had no desire for anything.  
“The light inside me was fading away. I allowed my apathy to eat my soul.”  
  
Taking a few steps closer, I held my arms out to him.  
  
“Keisuke witnessed firsthand how I abused myself. All my awkwardness and weaknesses came to haunt me and tear me apart.” He laughed mockingly at himself. “I couldn’t show myself at the hospital because of the scars on my left wrist. Worse, I stole some of the drugs to overdose. When I’d finally lost it, I locked myself in my room so that I could hang myself.”  
  
My hands wrapped over his neck and pulled him towards me, hugging him with all my might.  
  
“He broke my door and punched me back into consciousness. To remember how much I loved him. ’Even if you don’t give a fuck about yourself, there are people who look up to you. Especially me, Aniki!’ That unhappiness I gave him is imprinted in my head, you know?”  
His whole body was shaking as he embraced me back. “The next day, Tsugumi started staying in our house. She didn’t tell anyone what was going on with me, and reassured Keisuke that whenever he couldn’t avoid a battle, I wouldn’t try anything crazy. Imagine, a kid having that kind of responsibility for her teenage cousin?  
“I’m not like the people who can live their life in a fishbowl being watched all the time. I would go crazy.  
“I kept on searching for some kind of refuge. I really wasn’t good at first, but I tried and tried to make it work. Racing became my only refuge. However, I made it stand for everything in place of all I lacked as a human. It became the symbol of my confidence: Technique cannot be bought.  
“That’s why being the White Comet was a double-edged sword. The higher I got, the more isolated I felt from myself.”  
  
Ryousuke let go of me and held my cheeks. I looked deeply into those half-opened lids and the tears going down his cheeks.  
  
“And then, when you beat me, I found a small piece of happiness.  
“You didn’t know me so you didn’t expect anything from me. Most of all, you treated me for who I was to you and not because you wanted something from me.  
“Watching you in our battle, it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever seen in my entire life. You raced so differently from me. So freely. That’s why I could finally be myself and race the way I’d always wanted to. Again, I could see the future in front of me and perform to my best potential.  
“Whenever I went to the hospital after that, I would think about you. Whenever I wanted to yell or give up, I’d remember there was a person like you that existed in this world. I had to find a way that we could meet again.  
“Yes, you were right that I was obsessed over the driver of the ’86. But as time progressed, watching your growth, I learned the one thing I never did for Kaori even though I loved her so much: To give all of myself.”  
  
Ryousuke smiled at me as he took his hands away from my cheeks. He put his hands over my waist and lifted me into the air, wrapping his arms over my lower back.  
“Whoa!”  
He pressed his body against mine and glanced upwards. My pants dripped onto his clothing, but he didn’t care. I looked down with my fingers touching his shoulders.  
_  
So Keisuke knew from the beginning it was all my fault…  
That Tsugumi was more than delighted to finally meet me…  
  
Why he wasn’t ever reluctant with anything when it came to me…  
_  
“I chose you not for the team, but for myself, Takumi. So I’ll never give you up to anything or anyone.”  
_  
I was always near you, and yet, I still...  
_  
Slipping my fingers from his shoulders, I touched his ears. Then, I bent over to kiss the top of his head.  
**  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I’d had this dialogue in my draft for weeks. I just couldn’t place where it should take place and I worried to death if I had gone too far out there. But as I kept going, even while typing, it made sense to me.
> 
> I know it’s short, but I think this is my favorite chapter so far. After years and years, I could finally write the Takumi, Ryousuke, and Keisuke in the scenarios I’ve held in my head.
> 
> Thank you for your patience with my long fic!
> 
> Love always,  
> Yui


	15. Real magic.

**Disclaimer – I don’t own Initial D, but I love it a lot! And “Space Boy” is Dave Rodgers.  
  
**  
“Gonna get you…”  
  
Like clockwork, I woke up at my usual tofu time.  
Though lightly, I heard Ryousuke was singing the same song from karaoke. I kept my eyes closed because it was making me fall asleep again.  
_  
Was it because he sent a card and we didn’t talk until the end of Akina? Whatever it is, this voice always catches my attention.  
_  
Gradually, my mind was becoming conscious of what was around me. My right arm was bent over my head while the left one was lying straight. A breeze swept over my stomach and a blanket barely covered my hips and the top of my bare legs.  
  
When I opened my eyes, I found him to my left side, sitting on the bed and watching something on his silver laptop with red and white earphones.  
Ryousuke then took off his earphones and put the laptop down on the glass table. He leaned over me, placing his hands on either side of my ribs, almost touching them.  
“Good morning.”  
“Morning.”  
  
Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t squirm my way out of this one. I trusted him, but I didn’t feel safe with the way he was looking at me.  
_  
Why are you staring at me like that?  
_  
As if reading my mind, he answered, “After all I said to you last night, you still dare to sleep on my sofa bed like that?”  
  
“What are you talking about…” I saw my legs. “Wait, where are my pants?”  
  
“I put them in the wash after you fell asleep.” The faint light from the lamp by the sliding door hit his face.  
It was still dark outside, so my eyes looked up and back into his face. He looked so refreshed.  
“You should have more stamina because you’re younger than me. At least you’re lighter than Keisuke so it was no problem to bring you here from downstairs.”  
“Sorry.”  
“Don’t be. I enjoyed the view.”  
  
I still couldn’t get used to his bluntness. Blood was rushing to my face.  
_  
Please don’t draw a picture of me like this…  
_  
“Didn’t you go to sleep?”  
“Kind of.” Proudly, Ryousuke patted my stomach. “But this kept me well awake.”  
“I didn’t do it on purpose.”  
“You never do.”  
“Do what?”  
_  
What are we talking about???  
_  
He ignored my question and turned the laptop towards my direction and I leaned onto my left side.  
Starting at the beginning of the video, there were lines showing it was taken from an old VHS tape, but it wasn’t street racing. It was on one of the circuits.  
The announcer went over to one of the pits to interview a young woman. She took off her helmet and her chestnut brown hair just flowed down in waves.  
“Mom…”  
She smiled into the camera. “Racing isn’t singular. There are sponsors, engineers, the vehicle itself…you are the center, but you aren’t everything. Everything culminates to a matter of moments compiling into a single run.”  
Nodding her head, she grinned even wider. “I just enjoy it. I don’t think of anything more than that.”  
“Then what about the rumors that you’re planning your retirement?” the announcer questioned. “You have been at this for five years and are one of the most popular drivers. Don’t you want to try the international stage?”  
“The rumors aren’t rumors. I plan to retire at the end of this championship. I’m satisfied with my team and my career here. That is all I wanted.” Looking directly at the camera, she winked. “I’m going home tomorrow.”  
The interview ended and the video skipped to her last race. I watched as she maneuvered through corners seamlessly. Coming from behind, it got even harder with some rain, but it didn’t seem to give her such a struggle either.  
_  
She looks like she’s having so much fun.  
_  
Crossing the finish line and sitting in her car, she lifted her visor and just cried.  
_  
So fierce and yet very fragile too.  
It would take someone like that to go with my crazy dad…  
_  
I found myself getting up to touch the screen.  
  
“I never knew.”  
_  
Wasn’t she the same person who scolded my dad when I sat on his lap as he drifted down on the hairpins when I was 3?  
_  
“There was a long tin box hidden in our house. I saw all of the tapes, but she was one of the three racers I loved watching because she was shy when she spoke. Then, she’d become relentless on the road. At first, her lines were rough, but she could look at things and pinpoint mistakes and advantages instantaneously. They said she visualized, trained her body, and practiced so much that maybe her mind and spirit was always at the circuit.  
“That’s why I kept looking at your face whenever we met. I wondered why it seemed nostalgic. As we started Project D, I decided to watch these videos all over again.”  
  
He glanced at me. “You look just like her.”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
_  
Message (126/130)  
Name: Itsuki  
Subject: Where are you?  
Attachment: None  
  
Hi Takumi,  
  
I went to your house to see if you were all right, but your dad said that you still hadn’t come back.  
  
Here’s to hoping that Takahashi Ryousuke isn’t in critical condition and that you are handling things okay.  
  
-Itsuki  
  
PS. Idiot, this is your chance to make your move.  
_  
  
“Move?” I mumbled.  
“Hmm?” Ryousuke looked over at me.  
“Nothing.”  
_  
How can I even do this ‘move’ if the guy always corners me, Itsuki?  
  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Message (127/130)  
Name: Keisuke  
Subject: Aniki  
Attachment: None  
  
Is my brother getting better?  
  
He can get…complicated.  
  
If you need to hit him, do it.  
  
Thanks,  
K.  
  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Message (128/130)  
Name: Wataru  
Subject: Re: Re: Sadamine Pass  
Attachment: None  
  
Hey Takumi,  
  
Don’t worry about it, but do you have time to meet Monday night?  
  
If so, just call me.  
  
-Wataru  
  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
Message (129/130)  
Name: Mika  
Subject: Tuesday  
Attachment: None  
  
Dear Takumi,  
  
I'm sorry that it took a while to get back to you again, but there was no time to even look at my phone. I’ve been having a lot of fun, and I did pretty well so far. Today’s the last day of the tournament and I’m one of the top five!  
  
I’m so happy I can see you soon! Where should we go when we meet?  
  
I really wish I could talk to you. I need to talk to you.  
  
I hope you’re all right.  
  
<3  
  
Miss you,  
Mika  
  
PS. Don’t laugh at your souvenir.  
_  
=+=+=+=+=+  
  
“It seems that everyone decided to email me at the same time,” I mumbled as I closed my phone.  
Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I took a sip of my milk tea.  
  
The sun was coming out when we were near Okegawa and I’d stopped at the side of the road to buy a drink from a vending machine. Ryousuke was sleeping in the passenger seat with his music playing in the background.  
I wasn’t in a rush and I knew he said he had to start on some project, but yesterday was still hard to swallow. It was unbelievable that after I kissed him on the head, I passed out, cracking under all the pressure.  
  
Now that we got to this point, there are even more obstacles between us.  
  
Looking over at his sleeping face, I poked his forehead and kept drinking my milk tea.  
_  
“…because I want you.”  
  
He says these things so easily. He has no doubts about me and I know he won’t give up, considering about his personality, but what will I tell Mika? Will she forgive me?  
_  
I put the cap back on my drink.  
  
“Ryousuke…”  
“Yes?”  
“Nothing.”  
  
Smiling in his reverie, I decided not to bother him. He reached his right hand over to my side and it landed on my knee. And then it went up to my thigh.  
I just put my hand over his and turned on the engine so that we could go back into the road.  
_  
“Are you disgusted with me?”  
No. Never.  
_  
The dusty road seemed very long since I decided to take the side streets.  
_  
I don’t know what I’m going to do. About moving, your parents, or Mika…  
Am I strong enough? Hell, I have trouble picking what chocolate I want to buy so can I really promise you anything for the future?  
  
But I would never have thought about what was ahead if it weren’t for you and Keisuke. After all, I’d only discovered that I was good at something when we accidentally met.  
  
That I could feel this deeply about my ‘talent’ and love it through and through.  
_  
I took a hold of his hand and held it firmly.  
_  
I will protect you, Ryousuke.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
As we approached my house, it happened that my dad was outside of the shop smoking. If I knew any better, I think he was waiting for me to arrive.  
  
I parked right in front of our house and both Ryousuke and I got out of the FC.  
“Good morning, Mr. Fujiwara.” He bowed his head and then he headed to the driver’s side.  
I came over to stand next to my father as Ryousuke put his arms on the top of the FC.  
_  
They look really relaxed with each other.  
_  
“I’m sorry to have borrowed him for a while.”  
“It’s all right.”  
“I’ll be leaving then. Thank you again, Takumi.”  
“You’re welcome, Ryousuke-san. Take care.”  
He nodded his head. “Keep in touch.”  
Like that, he got into his car and left.  
_  
Did that go much smoother than it should have?  
_  
“I'm glad you're okay, Takumi.”  
We stepped inside the shop and he put out his cigarette in an ashtray. Then, he washed his hands. “But what happened?”  
I took off my shoes and stood at the threshold leading to the house. “When I went to the battle, Ryousuke-san suddenly had a fever. I took him and his cousin back to their house. He still wasn’t well so I stayed with him this whole time.”  
“Oh.” After finding a utility knife, my father opened the two boxes of tofu that had just come in. He nodded his head at the shipment. “He calls you by your first name now?”  
“I guess so.”  
“You didn’t even say his name before.” He scratched his nose. “It was ‘computer guy’ for a while.”  
“I almost forgot about that. It seems like a long time ago now.”  
Lifting up his head, he turned to me. “Tell me.”  
“Tell you what?”  
“You’re staring at me with that look on your face. I’ve watched you do that since you were little and it’s never a good sign.” He went over to the side of the room to get a long wooden board.  
I walked over to the sink to wash my arms and hands too.  
  
“I don’t know how to start this.” I dried my hands with the orange towel.  
“Does it have to do with Takahashi?” He washed the wooden board and dried it, placing it over the long steel counter.  
“Yes.” I stood by the counter as he moved to one box.  
“He seems to be fine to me.”  
“It’s not about his health.”  
“I’m sure it’s not.”  
“Stop joking around, Dad.”  
“I’m not.” He handed me a block of soft tofu.  
“It’s not easy to talk about it. I was confused since the last time he came here and then…“ I sighed as I took the tofu and placed it on the table. “I got a good punch from Keisuke because I fought with Ryousuke-san. I even met their cousin and we talked for a long time. And then, on top of that, he told me all these things that I only half understand. It’s all mixed up.”  
“When you say that,” he gave me another tofu block and continued, “It’s sad that you really don’t know him as well as you think.”  
“What do you mean?”  
  
For a minute, he silently handed me tofu and I placed it in two rows across the wooden board.  
Then, he spoke as we each got a thin towel to lightly dry each white block. “It happens everywhere. You admire someone and then you follow them. It’s just natural. You see it every day with celebrities.  
“In my day, I got lots of offers from men and women. It comes with the territory, but I wasn’t interested in men so that meant I had my pick of women. But I didn’t pick at all, you see? Your mom? I had no choice. I was a fortunate victim of immediate circumstance.” He smiled to himself as we both patted the tofu. “One night in high school, my friends, that includes Yuichi, decided that we should see the ‘beauty of Myogi’. So I was pushed to see what the big deal was over street racing. I really had no interest at the time. I just went along for the hell of it. But when she came to the starting line in that yellow chiffon dress and white sandals, I thought my eyes would pop out of their sockets. Did racers wear these kinds of things?”  
  
At that point, we slid open the see-through refrigerator door and placed all twenty-four blocks inside.  
I washed my hands and went to the threshold. I sat halfway in the house with my legs sticking out into the shop.  
Dad put some oil into a deep pan. “Afterwards, I found out it was just practice so they had no race scheduled. She happened to point at me in the crowd. ‘You. I like you. Get in my car.’ I grabbed on for dear life in that car, but when I looked over, she was excited like a little girl.  
“The next day, I secretly took out our Corolla for the next few months. I got by without scratching anything. But I practiced until my legs were bruised and I had calluses on my hands. Then, I challenged her.”  
He got some long chopsticks and a large plate. Then, he opened another box so that he could start frying. “She didn’t race me, but rode next to me. I asked her out that very day, but she told me that she was being taken away by the circuit world.”  
  
I sat there imagining them with the girl I’d seen in Ryousuke’s video. Even if it sounded so farfetched, it fit my parents perfectly.  
  
“I couldn’t come with her, but we made a promise. She’d conquer the circuit and I’d challenge anyone who’d challenged me in the streets. Our pair would be known as “Sebu” for Seiko and Bunta. We found out later that there was an English word for it: Save.”  
He dropped in some tofu and held his waist with his left hand. “Heh heh. Those were good times. I went all the way from Kagoshima to Hokkaido.”  
  
“Wow, so that’s the story.”  
_  
I’ve waited all these years to hear it and now, I understand.  
  
You sound so sure of each other. I’m proof of that…  
_  
“I wanted to tell you about this when you could fully understand.” He kept on smirking to himself as he watched the tofu. “I guess you do now.”  
“I…uh…” I watched his hands turn the tofu over.  
  
The tofu hissed in the oil.  
  
“Takumi, I know you’re worried about Mika-chan, but when you’re going down the mountain pass, there are only two lines. Inside and outside.” He kept on looking into the pan. “And Takahashi…for good or bad, he would give you anything you wanted.”  
_  
He knows without me telling him.  
_  
“I don’t get it. Mika’s the girl I always wanted: Very cute, considerate, hard-working, talented, and she can take care of herself in a pinch. She’s different from Natsuki because she doesn’t change her mind so easily. I need that because you know how slow I can be. But Ryousuke-san, he looks like he has everything, but once I got to really know him, especially for the past few days, none of that really mattered. There are times I become frustrated because I have no idea what he’s thinking, but he…” I shook my head because my head was starting to hurt again. “…always tells me the things that I need to hear. I feel limitless when I’m with him.”  
  
Dad took the tofu out of the pan and placed it on the large plate with paper towels over it.  
  
Frowning, I looked down at the tile ground. “I can’t imagine my life without him.”  
  
“I won’t stop you if you like him, Takumi. He is a good person. There are no doubts in my mind because I know he’d never betray you.”  
  
My head shot up.  
  
“’If you’re honest to yourself, you can always find happiness. It’s the real magic behind every racer.’ Your mom told me that when she drifted on Myogi. That’s the single reason why I chased after her.”  
  
With that, the front door opened and a customer came in.  
  
I looked at his back and smiled. _  
  
Thanks, Dad.  
_**  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the high of chapter 14, I decided to watch Legend 1 (and stop protesting to the voice actor changes considering the fact I toughed the crowds of crazy Tokyo Game Show just to catch a glimpse of Miki Shinichiro and Seki Tomokazu!) in the wee hours of the day.  
> Then, I got to looking at all the stages with Ryou and Taku. And Bunta. It was time for him to make an appearance and give his opinion.
> 
> Of course Bunta is intriguing in himself, but I always thought how can a guy like that be stable and happy? When the ’86’s engine blew, I cried because as much as he picked on Takumi, when he needed him, he was really there to help him.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	16. Essence.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is owned by Mr. Shigeno so this fic is only out total admiration for all its characters.  
  
**  
“Phew. Sent.”   
It was a relief that I could reply back to everyone quickly.   
  
“Baby, make up your mind,” the speakers sang in the family restaurant. I checked around the entrance and the twilight descending outside, but there was still no Wataru.  
  
Looking at the time, it read “7:49 PM”. There was still some time until he came.   
When I was about to click the phone off, another message came in.  
 _  
Message (131/131)  
Name: Iketani  
Subject: Have time?   
Attachment: None  
  
Hi Takumi,  
  
I heard from Itsuki about what happened with Takahashi Ryousuke. Kenji and I felt bad afterwards because we weren’t able to help you, so we went by your house when I got off my shift, but you weren’t home.  
  
If you have some time tomorrow, I’m doing my usual shift. I wanted to ask you for some advice. If you’re busy, don’t worry about it.  
  
Thanks a lot,  
Iketani  
_  
Immediately, I replied, “Of course I’ll come, Sempai.”  
  
When I put my phone into my pant pocket, I saw the single piece of clothing I would never have picked for myself. Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe I was wearing what Ryousuke had given me though I’d changed to my gray and white striped sleeveless shirt.  
  
“Cool pants,” Wataru complimented as he stood by the table.   
“Thanks,” I said as he sat down in the booth. “Hi.”  
“Hey back to you, maniac.”   
I handed him the menu. “Again, I’d like to say sorry-”  
“Hey, it happens. What can you do?”   
  
We each skimmed the menu and ordered when the waitress came. She collected the menus and left. The both of us walked over to get something to drink from the drink bar, came back to our booth, and settled into our seats.   
  
Wataru crossed his arms and leaned back. “You know what? People told me the car that left before the end of the race was Takahashi Ryousuke’s FC. It didn’t make sense to me.”  
I folded my hands. “Actually, it was my fault. I was the one who drove it out of Sadamine.”  
“YOU rode the FC?” He whistled and sat up in place. “This I have to hear.”   
“Please promise to keep this to yourself.”  
“Will do.”  
“Ryousuke-san happened to be very ill so I took him and his cousin back to Gunma. It’s hard to get into the details.”  
“That guy…” He looked at me in disbelief. “He really pushed himself this time, didn’t he?”  
“I think so.”  
 _  
There’s a lot behind that though.  
_  
“Well, don’t worry about it. It’s just sad you didn’t get to meet Sesora. She really admires you, you know that? After seeing you and Keisuke, that girl came to our practice every night to ask Kyouko to be her mentor. After two weeks, Kyouko was moved by her determination and this was the result.”  
“Knowing how Iwase-san was, I’m sure she would have understood that girl.”  
 _  
Maybe she saw herself through that girl Sesora, but that’s good. All her feelings for Keisuke became something that pushed her along to go where she is now.  
She wasn’t defeated by it.  
  
On the other hand, we couldn’t even ask Keisuke about anything related to her.   
_  
“So, how is your last week going? Are you ready?”  
“I got all my packing done. Now, I’m going through my list to say my goodbyes.”  
“Seems I made it onto that list. That’s good.” He sipped a bit of his orange juice. “Are you sure you’re all right?”  
Taking a sip of my coffee, I asked, “Huh? Why?”  
“You look pale.”  
“I haven’t been sleeping much these days. Thinking too much, I guess.”  
“Oh.” Wataru nodded his head up and down in understanding. “Don’t brush me off because you aren’t a good liar, Takumi.”  
“Lying about what?”  
  
The waitress came with his hamburger steak and my meat doria.   
  
I was quiet as Wataru cut his meat.   
“It’s written all over your face. You holding back isn’t the reason why I’ve nicknamed you ‘maniac’.”   
“The truth is,” I put my spoon into my food. “I’m going to do one last street battle before I leave.”  
“I thought you completed all your races for Project D.” He took a bite of his green beans.   
“It’s more personal.” Swallowing some of my doria, I took a deep breath. “I’ll go against the FC with the Impreza.”  
“You’re going against Ryousuke-san?”   
“Yes.”  
He swallowed another bite. “I want to be there to see this.”  
“This isn’t advertising, Wataru.”  
“You were the one with the 4WD complex last year and had no idea about anything.” His eyes didn’t look away from me. “Now you’re strategizing against the very person who taught you. Ryousuke-san has a lot on his plate.”  
“That’s the point. To see if I can beat the very theory he created.”  
Once more, Wataru continued to eat his food. “If you already know the goal, why are you worrying over it?”  
I put my spoon down. “Until the last race, I alternated using the Impreza and the ’86 for the deliveries.”  
“You know the difference between a 4WD and RWD. That’s a lot of training in itself.”  
“But I’ve never raced with the Impreza.”  
 _  
Probably it’s just me, but I don’t feel close to this car yet.  
  
I still look at the ’86 every time I go out for the deliveries. It’s been hard for me.   
Yes I said that I wanted to be near him, but not being able to use him at all because I destroyed him again, I’m still not comfortable about it.   
  
And then Dad sent him somewhere that I don’t know so it’s kind of driving me crazy.   
  
After spending my time with a car that’s been with me since birth, will I have the same luck with the Impreza?  
_  
“It shouldn’t be too much of a problem.” He gave me the thumbs up. “That’s where you being you comes in.”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
At the top of Sadamine Pass, Wataru’s ’86 was in front of me. He lifted up his hand to indicate he was going to start.   
Speeding off, I followed as if doing a time attack and without meaning to, I fell into battle mode.   
As I watched him from behind, I could tell Wataru’s handling had drastically changed since Shomaru.  
 _  
Even if it’s through Wataru’s car, please give me some kind of answer, Brother.  
_  
At the first slight curves from left to right to left again, the perfect weight distribution made the Levin weave through easily.   
Because I was always handling each car, my body knew that and how to deal with it. My problem was that I couldn’t exactly explain how or why. That’s why I had kept so many of Ryousuke’s notes. It was to study these small details I’d forget when I was focusing on just correcting one thing on each run.  
  
Going down an S-curve, I braced myself to watch Wataru, who had been able to maneuver through a narrow lane, found the apex and smoothly entered into a drift. Though it was natural to oversteer, I think he let off the gas a bit compared to before.   
_  
Did he also change something in the front or back to make it more stable though?  
_   
I sighed as I saw my turn coming.  
 _  
This car hasn’t been on any other pass except Akina.  
  
Because of my previous practice, I could visualize Sadamine’s twists and turns, but my body was being stubborn. It automatically wanted to go to its default: The ’86.   
It wanted to react to the road as it did before.  
_  
Soon after, when I went in, it was fine, but I’d still hadn’t perfected the exit because of understeering. I was lucky that I had an idea about how to compensate for it.  
  
Going downhill as fast we could, once in a while, another car would be going uphill. I was able to keep changing my entry and exit with every corner while watching Wataru right before me.  
 _  
You’re heavier and the swing bar really helps with cornering, but there must be a way where you and I won’t fight one another. That we can work together too as a team.  
  
The further we go, I now know the real reason Dad bought you: So that I can outdo the previous me and build on it.   
It had to be through the only way I knew how: Instinct.   
  
So please trust me.   
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
At the parking lot, his Levin and my Impreza were side by side. We leaned onto the rear of our cars and relaxed, looking into the sky glittering with stars.   
  
It was a good ten minutes until I spoke.  
  
“Thanks. You always help me whenever I need it.”  
“Think nothing of it.” He went over to the passenger side of the Levin and got something.   
Wataru came back and stood next me. We both leaned into the back of the Impreza.  
  
“Before I forget, I got you something before you left for the West.”  
“You didn’t have to.”  
“You’re my friend, Takumi. With the way I am, I don’t have many of those. And it’s been great to talk to someone else who loves their ’86 as much as I do.” He handed me a large brown envelope. “You’re talented, but you’re humble. That’s why I’m glad if I was beat, it was by someone who gave me their all. You were at a disadvantage in Shomaru, but you still fought me there. And you let us have another chance here on this pass. Those were some of the greatest moments of my life. You gave me those memories.”  
“I don’t know what to say. It was an honor. I mean you’re the one who stepped in to give me info when you didn’t have to. Not everyone is that generous.” I took the envelope into my hands.  
  
“Ryousuke-san let me use some of the material on the website once he allowed for a comments section. Also, I was able to gather these from various internet sites and some people you may know.” He placed his hand on my shoulder. “You’re going to meet all kinds of people. Not all of them will race or act like how we do here. So when you feel discouraged, use what’s in this envelope.”  
  
I opened it and pulled a wad of stapled print outs.   
_  
You’re so cool. – Ami Z  
  
I couldn’t help but watch you. I was inspired that I could do it too, so I started to practice. Someday, I hope I can see you in a meet. - Stardust  
  
Project D makes me feel young again. I haven’t been able to race since my back injury, but seeing you race, I feel proud as a former racer. It makes me remember the times I watched ‘Save’. – Nagata Y.  
_  
I put the stapled papers back and started to open the smaller, sealed envelopes.  
 _  
I really hated you for a long time, but I can’t deny that it’s exciting to see what cards you have up your sleeve. You never fail to impress. I’ll always remember the first time you passed before my eyes in Akina. – Nakazato  
  
Takumi! Congrats! I knew that it was only a matter of time. Mako and I went to most of your Project D matches and it made us feel proud to be one of the first to race you.   
I wish you the best for your future because I’m always rooting for you!   
\- Sayuki <3  
  
Hello again, Takumi. I guess we’ll meet very soon. It’d be nice to see another familiar face around here.  
I always wanted to tell you thank you for racing Impact Blue even though I have a lot of things to apologize for back then.   
A spark in my heart came back when we were battling. That struggle made me come here so I am glad we met. I hope for nothing but the best for you. Sincerely, Mako   
  
Congratulations. After our race, I had a lot of time to think. I lost because I never thought I had a chance, but you don’t have such thoughts.   
I’ve seen your races from time to time because many people liked to record anything related to Project D. For the first time, I was glad our fathers had their rivalry. It made me think that I didn’t want to follow his way of driving. I wanted my own.  
When that time comes, I’ll come see you. Let’s meet on the track. - Kai  
  
When you gain confidence, there is a point that you forget how hard it was to get rid of your doubts in the process. Things become so ingrained that you don’t know how to change once you’ve put yourself into your self-imposed corner.  
But that day we raced, it felt like the first time I’d touched my car. I felt revived and when I lost, I wasn’t as disappointed as I thought I’d be.   
You are always evolving, always aware. That’s why luck stays with you.   
Good luck in your future endeavors. – Tachi T.  
  
When you form your theory, I’d like to talk and race again. I am sure you will find methods that don’t concur with Ryousuke’s or my racing. It is something I look forward to. Until then, Sudoh.  
  
Hello, Fujiwara-san. I am writing from far away when you finally get this message. I know we didn’t race, but I am really grateful that Project D existed. I loved racing, but I never knew the depth of how far I’d wanted to go. You two were very thorough about anything and everything so I was a bit ashamed of myself that I hadn’t taken myself seriously. I finally saw what I could do with my own power.  
I wish I could tell this to Keisuke-san too. – Iwase Kyouko  
PS. If you ever do see him, please give “Darling” his envelope. Thank you!  
  
To Fujiwara-san,  
That day in Hakone, I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I saw wings from the back of your car. Ever since then, I’ve been working hard to see if I could also find my own someday.  
I didn’t like driving before, but after meeting you, I go out of the area and practice so that I’ll learn about other mountains besides my home course.   
I want to know more and more!   
So please wait for me because I want to race you again, wherever it may be. Thank you. – Inui Shinji  
_  
I peered inside the envelope to see there was a good layer of notes and stationary remaining inside.  
  
“Wataru…” I couldn’t find the words to tell him what this all meant to me. “Thank you very much.”  
“Didn’t expect miracles from the Saitama Alliance?” Patting my shoulder, he joked, “It just shows I’m not always grumpy.”   
Shaking my head from side to side, my lips couldn’t help but move upward. “It’s good that I didn’t punch you when we met.”  
  
He started to laugh and again, I stared down at the multitude of sheets inside this simple, yet powerful envelope.   
_  
All my effort and experience…  
  
Just wanting to come home faster from deliveries, who would have thought that it would lead to this? I never expected in a billion years that so many people would be happy and motivated over what I’d done.  
  
I was someone who had daydreamed and spaced out so much, I never thought I could do anything special for anyone. Let alone influence and change someone’s life.  
  
As I stand here, all their thoughts and good intentions are with me. My battles are recorded inside the very bones of my body, so I can clearly see all of you before me as if it happened just yesterday.  
  
It will become the source of my confidence.  
  
This is what I will carry with me to the next stage._  
 **  
Tsuzuku…To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Takumi’s had many opponents that this manga lasted for a long time, however, of all of them, besides the Rotary Brothers, Wataru made the strongest impression on me. I think it’s because in Fifth Stage, when he snaps his fingers and it goes through his inner monologue, it really cute-d me out. (I instantaneously remember this scene every time I listen to “Gas Gas Gas” and I’ll have a silly grin on my face.) He had changed from second to fifth stage (for me, this also includes Impact Blue too). There is some movement in his attitude so he grew on me.
> 
> We are on chapter 16 and I really thank you for your patience with this story. I hadn’t written in a long time and I got scared because I’d compared what I did before. However, for two weeks, I could finally overcome years of struggle. I always had ideas and that’s why I have many fics both on ffnet and livejournal, but I really let myself go in Invincible. Trying to still make something new after more than 200 stories (and some multi-chapter), it’s a fun challenge.
> 
> Invincible takes a lot of energy and memories that I did or didn’t quite want to recall. Yet, when I finish each chapter, I feel lighter and refreshed. Since this is Initial D, a shounen manga, it’s a bit harder than when I work with shoujo manga, yaoi titles, Evangelion, or Rumiko Takahashi’s stories (even when I did Tenipuri). Trying to keep in character with Takumi’s thoughts as well as everyone’s attitude with him and keep the balance between female tendencies and what’s true for the maleness of the manga can be daunting at times. (But you know that I’m going to do something with Ryousuke and Takumi because, after all, my fic is shounen-ai/yaoi. *smiles*)  
> In the end, if I could move or teach someone through my love for Initial D, I’d be very happy. That’s what has kept me going until now.
> 
> Thank you so much so far!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui
> 
> PS. Yes, I have heard eurobeat come out of keitai shops before. I was so surprised to hear Dave Rodgers that I slowed down walking just to listen.


	17. Becoming someone different.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is a creation by Shigeno Shuuichi-sensei.  
  
**  
“See you later.”  
  
Wataru and I headed home after our fistbump.   
  
On my way home with my head resting against my right fist, I kept on glancing over at the brown envelope laying in the passenger’s seat with my phone on top of it. While approaching Takasaki, I dropped by a convenience store to get a drink. This time I pulled a bottle of green tea from one of the fridges and drank it in the Impreza.   
Halfway through, I closed the bottle and held the dashboard with my right hand.  
 _  
Just a few more days to go and we’ll be racing together.  
  
Then, when it’s all done, I’ll be gone. I won’t have anyone with me when I go there. Well, I mean from the both of you and Dad.   
  
Keisuke is around there, but it’s still going to be hard being without my family.  
I’ve never been too far the ’86 and my dad…  
_  
I then reached for my phone.   
_Feeling like this, I should call Itsuki and Mika. Not him._  
  
I pushed the phone icon anyway. _  
It’s half an hour past midnight. What are you doing, stupid?! / I can’t help it…  
  
Please don’t pick up.  
_  
About to click off, his voice answered, “Hello Takumi.”  
“Hi. I know it’s late, but I forgot my bag in your car.”   
“I’m not at home right now.”  
“Hey, don’t worry about it-“  
“If you can stop at Takasaki, I can meet you there.”  
“All right.”   
“Go to the city hall and wait for me. I’m working near there right now.”  
“Okay then. I can be there in half an hour.”  
  
There were only a few lamps in between the two parks surrounding the city hall. Being the only car parked on that road, I found him leaning on one side of his car. His phone flashed against his face as he read something on his phone.  
In the near darkness, I parked behind him and he came over to give me the bag. When he did, in patches of light, I saw something strange. Out of concern, I found myself catching his wrist to look it over.  
  
There were scratches and imprints on the top of his hands and his palms were very red.  
 _  
Unbelievably raw…  
_  
“What happened to your hands?”  
“It’s nothing.” He brushed it off but didn’t hide his hands either. “Just part of the project I told you about.”  
“Okay…” I wasn’t convinced as he took his hand back.  
  
Taking the plastic bag, I thanked him. I stood there not knowing what else I was waiting for and still a bit anxious. “You’re still not well and you went back to work when I left you alone.”  
“Don’t worry.” He reached out to hug me very tightly, whispering into my ear in a pleased tone, “As long as you’re with me, I won’t ever harm myself again.”  
I nodded my head silently, feeling his breath on my neck.  
  
“Did you come to give me your answer?”  
  
Without warning, he kissed me on the curve between my neck and shoulder.   
“Ryousuke-san…” My left hand grabbed onto the hem of his white blouse.  
 _  
I am not even resisting anymore…and the more my guilt rises…  
_  
“Showing yourself to me like this…” His right hand went under my shirt.   
“I-” I stammered as his fingers fumbled up each of my ribs.  
“You must be doing this intentionally.”  
“Ah!” I gasped as his finger rubbed against my nipple, flinching.  
He licked my ear. “You’re breaking all my reserves.”   
_  
Much worse than short-tempered Keisuke…  
_  
My strength was really fading away. Desperate, holding onto the string of that bag and his blouse, I weakly pushed him against his car, but that backfired. It only made him place his leg in between mine, his left hand pulling me in even closer.  
  
“Ryou!” I gasped breathlessly, clenching my hands onto him. The string and my fingers pushed onto his hip more and more. I couldn’t help but close my eyes as it became harder to breathe.  
  
“I like the way you say my name.”  
 _  
I won’t admit I wanted to test if you’d come see me…  
_  
Right then, my phone vibrated with a melody in my pocket, and he slowly pulled away from me. He opened his eyes to look at me as both of his hands gently hung onto my waist. His whole body relaxed, snapping out of his trance.  
  
The phone continued to vibrate as he remained holding onto me.  
“I’m sorry for what came over me.” He looked at me apologetically. “For acting that irrationally.”  
 _  
The one who took advantage of your kindness was me. I’m a horrible person…  
_  
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have interrupted your work.”  
“No, I should know better.” His tone sounded slightly condescending.  
 _  
Don’t treat me like a child.  
_  
He let go of me and stood in front of me again, steady as always: The Ryousuke everyone recognized. It was obvious to me now how much he restrained himself and pretended to be unemotional.  
 _  
So this is how he normally is. Holding back or indulging.  
There is no ‘in between’.  
_  
“When will you learn that it’s okay not to be perfect?” I stopped clinging onto him and stepped back.  
 _  
To be one of us and be human…  
_  
Feigning composure, I pulled his collar with my left hand.   
_  
If you keep saying things like that, when will you get what you want, Ryousuke? Who am I to talk though?  
_  
Not being able to look at his eyes, I watched his lips. “Sometimes, people need to be selfish, Ryousuke-san.”  
  
I threw his collar back at him and left, only to park just a few blocks away.  
Breathing very heavily and grasping onto the steering wheel with what little strength I had left, I was barely holding on.   
_  
My body wants to jump into that river in front of me.  
_  
I held my knees together and gulped.   
_  
Not here. I’d kill myself from shame if I did anything here.  
_  
The ride home felt like slow torture. When I got there, I went straight into the shower fully clothed. The water dripped all over my body and I pushed my palms against the tile wall. I closed my eyes as tightly as I could while panting as slowly as possible.  
 _  
It isn’t just you though. I become different too when I’m with you.  
Finding someone completely different inside of me, I’m doing things I’d never have even thought about.  
_  
I stayed there for a while with the water running.  
  
There was absolutely no way I could sleep tonight.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
 _  
“Your dad will be back soon. He just needed to talk with the shippers about the tofu supply,” Tachibana said as he stood outside.  
I was about to cry because mom wasn’t there and I’d never been away from my parents except when I went to school. But today, Tachibana-san had to pick me up.  
“Here.” He gave me some yogurt as I sat on the curb, next to one of the gas pumps. “You must be hungry.”  
I ate quietly, but when I looked up to his face, he put his hand over my head.  
  
This is Dad’s best friend. He’s silly like me though.   
_  
I turned into the gasoline station.  
  
The sun was high and it was pretty hot by the time I parked.  
  
Iketani came up to me. “Hey, thanks for coming. You didn’t have to be this early though.”  
“It’s okay. I was already up.”  
  
“Hey!”  
Tachibana-san came out along with Itsuki and Kenji. As usual, we stood in the lane around the first set of fuel dispensers, ready for customers.  
 _  
I’m lucky the swelling came down so they can’t easily see it, but it still feels raw. I don’t really want to talk about it right now.  
_  
“I was wondering if we could see one another before you left,” Tachibana-san said as he patted my shoulder blades.  
“I’d never leave without saying goodbye to you. You’re practically my uncle.”  
 _  
When my mother passed away, you were the one who came by to help my Dad even though you were very busy with this gas station.  
  
You always took the time to look after me, and never thought I was a bother.  
  
I’m really grateful to you for many things.  
_  
“That’s true.”  
“Are you all set for next week?” He shook his head. “The one I’m wondering about is actually your dad.”  
“I’m all right. And knowing how that guy is, I’m sure he’ll just miss someone to tease.”  
“I’ll be prepared for it.” He chuckled, knowing all of my dad’s peculiarities. “So what brings you here?”  
  
“The same reason I gathered you all here.” Iketani brought out a small white envelope his pocket and gave it to me. “It arrived on the day we went to the battle.”  
 _  
I’ve seen this writing before.  
_  
I turned over the envelope to the return address. “Mako-san?”  
  
Itsuki nodded his head quickly, then his eyes quickly widened. “What?!”  
Kenji’s jaw dropped, completely speechless.  
Tachibana-san nodded to himself as he crossed his arms. “Ah, youth.”  
  
I read it aloud for everyone.  
 _  
“Dear Iketani-san,  
I am very happy to get your letter. There are many things I want to talk to you about since I’ve come to Tokyo. And I still have some things to ask you too.  
  
I’ll come at 11am to Takasaki station by train this coming Monday. Since you invited me, maybe we will have better luck this time.   
  
Looking forward to seeing you.  
  
Always,  
Mako”  
_  
I looked up and saw his face. “You’ve been given another chance, Sempai.”  
“So that’s why you were so secretive yesterday!” Itsuki pointed at him accusingly.   
“You were with her and you didn’t say a thing?” Kenji exclaimed as he put his fingers on his temples. “Did you at least say something this time?”  
In a daze, he nodded his head as if he still couldn’t believe it himself.  
“And what happened?!” Itsuki took his shirt in between his hands and shook him. “Stop pausing!”  
  
“Well, you know that after work, I drove almost every night that Tachibana-san was sometimes upset at me for being sleepy. I know that I’m not very skilled, but I wanted to improve myself and so I put all my time into that.” He looked away from us. “Back then, I couldn’t say anything when she left because I have a racer’s pride too. She left with my dream with her.”   
  
Clenching his shirt over his heart, his eyes looked up at us again. “I knew very well it was a long shot, but seeing her face all the time on the websites…and then talking about Mika-chan and Takahashi Ryousuke, it got me thinking. So I wrote to her.”  
“And the result!” Itsuki shook him again.  
“Mako-chan didn’t say what happened in Tokyo, but when she rode beside me, it was like no time had elapsed between us. We ended up going to Akina and driving the pass several times. She was happy to know I was still the same person she knew. She knew her answer from just watching me. I had let her go for her dream.   
“And then, we switched seats. While driving down the pass, she asked me what I wanted. I told her that even if it wasn’t glamorous, I really enjoyed my life here. I wanted to take care of my mother and settle in Gunma, taking care of the team. The team means everything to me. You know my Silvia will always be my first love.  
“I told her that it is a simple dream, but I want to teach what I knew to the future members of Akina Speed Stars, like when I explained about mechanics to Takumi or talked about specs with Itsuki and Kenji. This team is full of my friends and I know they’d be my friends for life. So when a new generation comes, I’d like us to teach them about Akina.”  
  
“Sempai has changed.” Itsuki slowly let go of his collar, seeing him with new eyes.  
 _  
There was a part of me that worried over Iketani more than Kenji or Itsuki, but now, I didn’t have to.  
  
Mako did really hurt him, but I now understood something as I watched myself with Ryousuke.  
  
You can’t help it sometimes.   
  
Being younger and unsympathetic, I can’t believe I said I didn’t know when he started to like her. Because seeing him like this, I think I can finally forgive her.  
  
It wasn’t entirely her fault. I shouldn’t have blamed her for everything back then.  
_  
Kenji asked, “So what will happen now?”  
“I’m going to leave for Tokyo.” He stood up straight with a renewed sense of confidence. “We’re going to try living together. After a year, we’ll decide if we should give up or get married.”  
“Iketani-sempai…” I said.  
 _  
I was happy for him, but I felt worse at how I’d been acting.  
_  
The uneasiness clawed away inside of me.  
 _  
I’m finally seeing Mika tonight too.  
_  
“What? This is so sudden!” Itsuki put his arms up. “I’m happy for you, but how about us, Kenji-sempai!”  
Kenji patted Iketani’s shoulder. “I know I made fun of you for everything, but I’m really rooting for you this time.”  
“I’m proud of you, Iketani.” Tachibana-san nodded his head. “You’re finally ready to take the next step.”  
  
“I will hold onto her this time with both of my hands.” He put his hands to his sides. “That’s why, until I come back, I’m leaving the team to you, Kenji and Itsuki. Please take care of it for me.”  
  
They were ecstatic at the news, but my mind was tuning out and their voices were becoming a blur.  
 _  
“When someone pulls up, the first thing you have to do is greet them…”  
  
I remembered the first day Itsuki and I came to work here. Iketani had trained us. Even when we messed up, he never got mad or impatient.  
Through everything, he always looked out after me. He was the one who told me whenever I went to battle, “Just come back safely.”  
  
I maybe have been more talented with driving, but that was only that.   
  
The rest, these people taught me.  
_  
And the reason I called him ‘sempai’ wasn’t because he was older than me.  
 _  
“Takumi. Respect yourself.” He sighed as he held my shoulders.  
Itsuki, Kenji, and Tachibana-san weren’t around at that time and we were closing up the gas station together.  
“Yes, that customer was being an asshole, but you’ve got to be professional. You can’t just suddenly turn like that.”  
“I’m not giving up my self-respect to some jerk like that.”  
“You don’t have to, but when you react, you do.”   
In the end, without Tachibana-san’s knowledge, he quietly took that guy’s wrists and kicked the guy out of the station.   
  
“I know you’re stubborn and don’t like talking, but remember this, I got your back. We’re a team now.”   
_  
Even if he failed himself, especially with Mako, whenever I needed his help or advice, he never let me down.  
  
“Good luck, sempai.”  
  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s chapter 17. Something had to happen by now. ;_; Ryousuke and Takumi, why do you do this to me?!  
> -_-;;;;;;;;;;;  
> I should be reading the RX-7 book or looking up the new Toyota 86. (I already tend to talk too much about cars these days though.)
> 
> And usually, I totally keep with the canon, but this is the one time where I can’t comply even if I watched Extra Stage. There is no way I could leave Mako and Iketani up in the air. (A plot that, until now, still bugs me.)  
> I read a lot of discussion boards on them and learned so many things I hadn’t ever thought about, but…I love Mako! She’s the other character besides Wataru who grew in the ID world. And Iketani, he is a sweet guy and very hardworking too. (I have a soft spot for the same guy who went to Bunta with a broken body so that his team could survive.) I mean, Kenji and Itsuki are too because they are friends with Takumi. (Okay, I’m biased because I was helped by a cute guy who lived in Haruna/Akina Lake.)  
> There are mixed reactions because their circumstances were so strange too, but if Iketani hadn’t asked Bunta...
> 
> *lol* Okay, I’ll work on the next chapter.
> 
> Thanks for reading and hope you’re enjoying!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	18. Your bet : My theory

**Disclaimer – Initial D and Parapara Paradise don’t belong to me, but the poem/lyrics do.  
  
**  
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to get something before I meet Mika.”  
I politely declined their impromptu celebration and I wished sempai well.  
  
They let me go without any opposition, even teasing me about what I was going to do about her return. Was I going to buy a gift? Or was I doing more than that? It occurred to me how fair they were to both Mika and Ryousuke, even if they had their favorites.  
 _  
If only I was going straight there.  
_  
I glanced at the glove compartment with the small package I had carried with me all along. It was there before this whole mess flipped my world off its axis.  
 _  
What will she do? Knowing how she was, she could either forgive or punish me within a blink of an eye.  
_  
Sighing, the anxiousness was taking my confidence away piece by piece.   
For the fifth time today, I played the message of the call that had interrupted us last night:  
  
“Hello.  
I understand that this is the phone of Fujiwara Takumi. My name is Takahashi Tsuneo, the director of the Takahashi Clinic.   
  
There is some business that I need to discuss with you regarding my son. I would like to meet you tomorrow at 2pm in the L’arc Hotel in front of Takasaki station. I’ll see you in the lobby.  
  
If this is possible, please call back at your earliest convenience.  
  
Thank you.”  
  
Running my fingers through my hair, I knew full well that I was heading to an arena which would subtly showcase their lavishness. The L’arc Hotel was a perfect place for their slaughter. Even then, I couldn’t runaway because a long time ago, I promised myself I wouldn’t ever be intimidated by anyone or cry unnecessarily for anything.  
  
“Ryousuke, this is all I can do, but I’ll protect you with all I have.”  
  
With one hand, I switched my phone screen to my music playlists. I clicked on the new one that I’d made from his eurobeat recommendations.  
  
Pressing on the accelerator, my mind went blank, completely immersed within the music,  
  
“Run it through, my heart's keepin' up  
Will I survive to reach you?  
Run it through, you shout my name  
Aren't you the one keeping time…”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
The automatic glass doors opened and I stepped into the lobby. My head looked from left to right and up and down. It stretched far on either side of me and the tall ceiling made the space seem endless. The wooden boards leading to the concierge changed into carpet with mahogany tables, white-stitched chairs, and tan sofas. Real trees separated the layout of the tables as the sunlight from the wide rectangular windows came through.  
The grandeur and stiffness reminded me of Ryousuke and Keisuke’s home.   
Because of Project D, I had seen some pretty impressive places, and several people tried to contract me with all they could offer, but I was still an Akina boy. I think I’d always feel uncomfortable in these types of formal situations.  
  
As soon as I turned to go towards the couches, a man escorted me to the hotel restaurant. I followed him into a private dining area.  
There I met the same man who had scolded Ryousuke on the phone. He was tall and dignified with a no nonsense air about him, an older version of Ryousuke himself, but with thin silver glasses.   
  
The woman with an off-the shoulder wine red dress wasn’t exactly as Keisuke had described her either. She had short hair with curls at the ends, and though she wasn’t stick thin, she was curvy like a model. Keisuke’s sharp eyes and chin were definitely from this woman.  
 _  
So it is true that charisma could be inherited.  
_  
Ryousuke’s parents remained seated at the wooden table. His father gestured his hand for me to sit in front of them.  
“Hello Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi.” I bowed my head and sat down in the silver-lined seat.   
“Thank you for meeting with us on such short notice.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
The waiters poured some water from a bottle and took their orders. We soon had the room to ourselves.  
“Let’s get straight to the point. I am not going to deny that I had you investigated.”  
I didn’t react, blinking my eyes nonchalantly.   
“Your father has a tofu shop and you have no mother.”  
“Yes.”   
“I hear that you did racing with my son. Afterwards, you were asked to join his team. You accepted and now the year has ended, but your association with him hasn’t. Why is that? Do you still need something more?”  
My right hand twitched. “He’s my friend.”  
“Is that why you took advantage of his proposal and have him pay for everything?”  
 _  
Why isn’t she saying anything? Your mom was the one that gave you this love of racing.  
_  
“I had no intention of taking advantage of him because I am grateful for all that he has taught me. I am always thinking about how to repay his kindness and effort.”  
“How will you do that?”  
“I am not sure yet, but I know the time will come.”  
“From here, what will you do?”  
“I’m leaving Gunma to do professional racing. That is what he had trained me for.”  
 _  
I am sure you already knew that though.  
_  
“So why does he have to take a week off if you’re going to leave soon?”  
“His vacation has nothing to do with me.”  
“Weren’t you the one with him in his apartment?”  
I looked at him with a grave expression.  
 _  
Don’t imply we did anything dirty.  
_  
“We didn’t do anything inappropriate.”  
“Then what’s your objective with our son?”  
 _  
What kind of parents say these kinds of things?  
_  
“Excuse me?”  
“Surely you know he has lost his mind and threatened not to follow through with becoming the next director because of you.”  
“What? I do not know how that is connected to me.”  
“Whether or not you are, you’re still a strong factor in it. And that’s why we are here. What do you want so that you will be satisfied and never contact him again?”  
I took a deep breath, feeling my blood slowing turning into rage. Clenching my fists under the table, I kept quiet.  
  
Then, she spoke.   
“My son has grown up with everything. He learned a lot of things by himself and I’ve seen him create many wonderful things too.” Her voice wasn’t threatening at all. In fact, it sounded regretful behind the fragile firmness. “Idealism doesn’t always coincide with reality. So tell me, Fujiwara-san, what can a boy like you offer Ryousuke? When you grow up, it is certain you’ll leave him out of dissatisfaction. If not, the other way around.”  
  
Her words stung my heart more than his poisonous tone.  
  
“If you called me here for this, I’m afraid you are wasting your time, Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi.” I pushed my chair out and stood up. “I could never betray Ryousuke-san.”  
 _  
Without him, the person before you wouldn’t exist.  
  
Years ago, I wouldn’t have cared one bit about myself. But I’m not like that anymore. I like who I am now because of him.  
_  
As I was politely bowing, Ryousuke himself appeared. He walked next to me with his shirt completely dusty and full of marks. Even his jeans were torn in several places.  
  
“Ryousuke! How dare you show yourself like this?” His father stood up and shouted in disgust. “Don’t embarrass us. We are patrons of this hotel!”  
“You’re one to talk after I had to cajole your secretary to tell me where you were.” He looked me over to make sure nothing had happened. Then, he gave the iciest stare I’d ever seen. “I knew you’d pull something like this.”  
His father scoffed at him. “It was the only way you’d take our talk into consideration.”  
He put his arm out before me. “Don’t drag Fujiwara into this. I will negotiate but you have to listen to my terms. I won’t allow you to have your way this time around.”  
“Ryousuke…” His mother got up and put her hands on the table. “Don’t do anything drastic.”  
“What is there to negotiate? You refused to meet any of the people in the omiais and then you took a week off at this crucial time. You’re pretty arrogant to think you have anything on the table right now.”  
“So I shouldn’t convince the administration that we are still fulfilling our qualifications?”  
Mr. Takahashi pursed his lips.  
“If it weren’t for me, we wouldn’t have been able to keep operating. I hope you haven’t forgotten.”  
“You’re being deceived. Your obsession with racing made you like this.” His dad pointed his head at his wife sternly. He shook his head and then looked back at Ryousuke. “I’m sure that if you are around people of your own status-“  
“My own status. The girls who throw themselves at me behind your backs and can’t even carry on a decent conversation? They bore me. I don’t want that kind of partner.”  
“So like that girl and now this mere boy? He isn’t even twenty years old. Do you think he would give up his future for you? Do your words have the same weight as his?”  
“I don’t know. Nothing is guaranteed.” He put his hand on my arm. “That is exactly why I chose him.”   
  
Ryousuke rose my hand in the air. “I’ve bet everything on him.”  
  
Everything felt like it was in slow motion as I saw his parents’ faces and his determined expression.  
  
“Well, let’s see how far you can last with that delusion of yours.”  
He put my hand down. “It’s good sometimes to start from zero, Father. You’ve forgotten that along the way.”   
  
He took my wrist and we left the hotel.  
  
“He wasn’t always like this.”  
  
I didn’t have to look at his face to know the depth of his disappointment.  
 _  
That’s why you can still forgive him.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
There wasn’t a lot of time so we went over to the river. After parking, we walked down the small green hill and along the dirt road next to the running water.  
  
“When we were young, Keisuke got sick pretty often. Because of that, I seriously thought our clinic was convenient and if I became a doctor, I could work with my parents. I could learn to get close to them because they spent more time at work than at home.” Ryousuke’s eyes watched the sky and he stopped walking. “But they were so focused on their relationship and the hospital, I felt we were pushed to the wayside. We couldn’t ever be a priority to them unless it was on their terms, like being the heir.”  
He resumed walking. “I got used to it so I ended up taking care of Keisuke, covering up all the holes that I could. I didn’t want him to think too much about it and one day he told me he appreciated it. I hadn’t known that he saw right through everything I glazed over so that he wouldn’t feel what I had.  
“So if he’s a little overboard about our bond, it’s my fault. I made him that way.”  
There was a faint smile on his face as he remembered, “He used to do everything without back talking. And then he grew up and found out that while I was right in the end, he’d still want to find everything that was wrong.”  
  
I laughed a bit at his story. “He’s always been this way?”  
“Don’t ever tell him I told you that he played Parapara to learn to impress girls when he was in elementary school.”   
Bursting out laughing, he watched me again with those observant eyes.  
  
“I always feel better whenever I’m with you.”   
  
We were under the bridge, the river flow echoing around us.  
  
“Back there with your parents, what you said about me-“  
“You don’t have to feel obligated. My feelings for you have nothing to do with you.”  
 _  
I used to say that to myself about you.  
_  
“You don’t doubt me.”  
“As I told you, I put all my hope and dreams into you and Keisuke so I have no regrets taking over.”  
“But were you negotiating like you weren’t.”  
He winked at me. “You have to feint to finish the course sometimes, right?”  
 _  
I was right from the very beginning. He really was that cool.  
_  
I took a rock into my hand and threw it into the river. It made two splashes before it fell in.  
“When I was in elementary school, people made fun of me because I had no mom and we were poor. My dad even had to come to my school for a conference, but when we left, he told me he was proud of me. He said I was a real man because I protected something important to me.” I threw another rock. “I just couldn’t ever do what other people told me to do. That stubbornness became part of my personality.   
“As I grew up, I sometimes thought my father didn’t care about me because he’s so quiet. He was always busy doing something or other so that we could survive. He drank heavily too and I never knew why though we still needed the money. I know now that isn’t true.  
“My grades have always been average and I don’t have many friends because I could never understand that word ‘normal’. Most of the time, I kept my thoughts to myself.  
“I did my deliveries, was sleepy at school, studied a little, and stayed at home. That was my life before.”  
  
I turned towards him. “Then, one day, I beat you and people treated me differently. A lot of people came to me for challenges. My quiet life was no longer simple.   
“For a long time, I was a little resentful. Why had this guy given me these troublesome things? And it was for a fluke. I thought it was all a fluke, you know? My pride wouldn’t let you beat me and then I was punished for it. Driving was just driving. It was no big deal so why are they all going crazy on me for it?  
“How could I have beaten the untouchable driver? But your words kept on repeating in my head. You should see beyond Akina. And you kept on coming to me, reminding me that there must be something I wanted more than protecting myself with my indifference.  
“I’ve been wondering about it for a long time, Ryousuke.”  
  
He didn’t say a thing as he got a stone and threw it. It skipped over five times and then sank to the bottom.  
  
“About what exactly?”  
“I’m not sure. All I knew was that at the end, would you be there long enough to see it with me?”  
“Ah…as you were saying in Odaiba…about winning me.”  
“I-I guess so.”  
  
We both took another pebble and threw then at the same time. They both skipped on the surface seven times and dove into the river together.  
 _  
What does it mean to win you anyway? I never really thought about what happened after that.  
_  
“To Sudoh-san who looks like a punk, he follows the rules.”  
 _  
I want to know what’s beyond your mind.  
_  
“For you who appears to be a gentleman, you live within the rules so politely, but break them mercilessly.”   
  
I then pulled his arms towards me so that he could really look at me.  
 _  
I can’t forget that room full of sketches. It still overwhelms me.  
_  
He looked very surprised.   
  
“Maybe my theory is to be good enough that it’s justified I’ll never have to follow anyone’s rules.”  
 _  
And your parents are right. I have no power within this society.  
The only thing I can do is drive.  
  
But I want to take a hold of what I really want. Right here, right now.  
_  
I pointed my chin upwards.   
_  
I must destroy my insecurities so that I can convince myself to go beyond Kaori. Beyond your ideals…even your way of thinking…  
  
Do I have that kind of strength?  
  
Seeing what you did at the hotel, it gives me courage. I know I can. Maybe I’ve always had it in me but never believed in it.  
_  
Pulling him in even more, I kissed him under the shade of that bridge.  
  
When I was pushing myself away, he caught my face and pressed his tongue into my mouth, kissing me all over again. He wouldn’t let me pull away just to catch my breath.  
 _  
I thought it was good to just live quietly, but when things became chaotic after meeting you, when you made me important above everything,  
  
I began to value myself too.  
_  
Finally letting go of me, I stepped back and smiled at him.   
“Thank you for everything.”  
“Takumi…”  
 _  
The source of my pride now is you.  
_  
“I won’t ever be ashamed of you, Ryousuke. That’s my answer.”   
  
I bowed my head a bit and apologized. “I’m sorry, but I really have to go now.”  
  
Behind me, I heard the smile in his voice. “You really are like no one I’ve ever met.”  
  
I ran up the grass hill as fast I could. In my pocket, my phone began to vibrate and ring her melody.  
 _  
Mika…  
_  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never thought about Ryousuke and Keisuke’s parents, but then I got curious. Now, they're here and though it confused me a bit, the challenge made me enjoy writing this chapter.
> 
> The rush of it all really makes me happy.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	19. Savor.

**Disclaimer – The Initial D series was created by Shigeno-sensei. <3  
  
**  
There are times I forget reason and drive like the crazy fool at home.   
_  
Compared to him, probably I’m too soft on you, aren’t I?  
_  
I didn’t feel so guilt about pushing the Impreza anymore. Patting the top of it, I sighed at getting there on time.   
  
As my shoulders relaxed, the weariness of everything and no sleep was starting to take its toll on my body. I walked towards the sidewalk, over to the entrance of the park.  
  
Under one of the lamp posts, Mika was cutely standing at our rendezvous spot, swaying from side to side with her hands behind her. Biting her lip as I watched her head point at the opposite direction, my heart skipped a beat.   
A gentle breeze blew through and she pushed her hair behind her ear, giggling to herself.   
Everything in my mind erased into a blank slate.  
  
“Takumi!” Mika began to walk but ended up running towards me so I stood solid in my place.  
  
In between the beams of light, I could see she’d gotten thinner though her skin had a touch of bronze. In a lavender sleeveless shirt and white shorts that covered only half of her thighs, she looked even sexier than before to me. Her light blue and white running shoes were a nice plus. To me though, nothing was better than her big smile when she jumped into my arms.   
I grinned back and smelled her lightly damp hair, carrying half of her body in the air. She pressed her cheek onto mine as I hugged her even closer to me.   
  
My eyelids shut as she hung off the ground.  
“I missed you.” Her arms tightened around me.  
“Me too.”  
 _  
If only we could remain this way…  
I don’t want to let go of you yet.  
_  
The next second, I thought about how Ryousuke had carried me. Why he held me in the air as if to show me off to the world. There was no one else on that beach that night to witness it though.  
  
Unlike this, no one would ever know.  
 _  
I don’t understand why it has to be so different. Am I weird that I just don’t see what makes one more acceptable than the other?  
When I beat him, I knew absolutely nothing about him, but I had to stop him before he drove off. And wasn’t it love at first sight right before she lifted her hand to slap me?   
_  
“Congratulations on the tournament.” I gently put her down back on the sidewalk, but she still left her hands on my shoulders. “Did you really get third place?”  
Mika nodded her head happily. “It feels so surreal.”  
“Doesn’t it? No matter how many battles I’ve done, it always just feels like ‘I barely made it. I survived this time.’ Is that how it is for you?”  
“Yeah…” She took her hands away from my shoulders and held my hand.   
  
Together we walked through the park entrance along with the crowd who had just gotten down from a bus making special rounds for today’s event. Step by slow step, we followed the dark path. Occasionally small lamps on each side would guide the way to get to the river.  
  
“I used to wonder why. Why did I have to get serious? It was just a game that my dad taught me. ‘Can you get the ball there faster than me?’ he’d taunt and I totally fell for it.  
“When I was nine, I yelled and refused to play for a few days. But even then I knew, it had already became a part of my routine. Not only that, it was a part of me. So when I think about what it used to mean and how it turned out is unbelievable.”  
Mika turned to pinch my cheeks softly and even in the near darkness, she shined. Many couples walked around us.   
  
“It’s like one day, I’m going to wake up and find out it didn’t happen. But after the tournament, I did and read it in the morning paper. It was all real.”  
 _  
It’s as if you already know.  
_  
I found myself pushing her hair behind her ears and nodding. “I know exactly how that feels.”  
 _  
Before he left, he met me on Akina, showing up unexpectedly as always. It was the same spot he came to tell me to join his brother’s team. Only this time, he was sitting in front and on the hood of the FD.  
“I just wanted to say ‘see you later’.”  
I nodded my head.   
“Thanks for doing Project D.”  
“You don’t have to say-“  
“Yes. Yes, I do.” He folded his hands and shyly looked away. “My brother is really happy right now. You don’t know what this means to me.”  
The tough guy’s voice cracked. “I’ve never seen him like this in my whole life. So that’s why I’m here, Takumi.”  
“You’re welcome, Keisuke-san.” I punched him on the arm as I sat next to him. “And here I thought you came here to kick my ass because isn’t this where you said you’d do it?”  
Laughing, he waved his hand. “Stupid. That’s gonna happen on the track.”  
“You wish,” I retorted back.  
“Aniki was right.” He turned his head to look at me again with his eyebrows raised. “You are dangerous. Must be an extension of the ‘Fujiwara Zone’.”   
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”   
He flicked my forehead.   
“Ow!”   
Underneath it all, without the punkish scowls, I saw a kid smiling at me.   
  
I stood there long after he left with the taste of disappointment in my mouth.   
Keisuke, I knew you’d come to say something to me, but Ryousuke? I knew it was done when we said goodbye after that race.  
  
Is this really it?   
  
There was no point in wishing for more.  
_  
Just behind one row of people, we were able to see the pond. Standing there, there were gasps of delight from the crowd. Little kids pointed at the glowing lights flickering everywhere.  
  
After mom passed away, my dad tried to take me out of the house. He brought me to the river at the base of Mount Tanigawa.   
I hadn’t seen fireflies since then.   
  
Looking at Mika’s face, it made me forget the sadness. Before us was just pure magic, a warmth that I wanted to embrace us.   
Her fingers interlocked with mine.  
  
The fireflies floated up from the leaves and around the trees. In a way, they reminded me of yellow tail lights, going from place to place. That’s probably how we appeared in a distance when we raced.  
  
Reflecting dots on the pond, I couldn’t believe how beautiful everything was.   
  
She began to wipe tears away from her face. “I’m really glad I came here with you.”  
  
One flicker, two, and then a dozen and more…  
The fireflies fluttered around, circling lines of lights reaching towards the sky.  
  
“I don’t live that far from here. Why didn’t I come before?” She sniffed. “This is the first time I ever saw them.”  
  
I don’t know why, but I pulled her away and in the darkness, I tried to get away from the crowd. We went behind some trees and hid. As she leaned on the tree, trying to look at the pond off in the distance, I kissed her. She looked surprised, but she nodded her head.   
We continued to kiss even as the mosquitoes were biting into my skin.  
  
The tiny lights flew and captured little moments of magic until they would die out.  
 _  
You mean so much to me. No other girl in this world has ever been this understanding and patient as you have been with me.  
_  
Her back pressed against the tree as she put her arms around my neck. I held onto her waist, kissing her with everything my words always failed to say.  
 _  
I’m such an idiot. Because I’m so painfully shy, I never told or showed you how much I cared about you.  
_  
When we stopped kissing, I hugged her.  
“Takumi…”  
I closed my eyes again to savor the time we had left.  
 _  
Your kisses shouldn’t be compared. I am not supposed to, but I have to face the truth behind everything:  
  
The reason I put my life on the line...  
every time I raced down the mountains, the person who is waiting for me…  
is the one my whole being hungers for…  
  
I’m a wreck without Ryousuke.  
_  
“I want to stay like this for a little longer, Mika.”  
“All right.”  
I rested my head on her shoulder as we held onto one another while watching the fireflies dance around us.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
We were lucky that her curfew had been pushed back to eleven because of the firefly festival, so we spent some time in a small coffee shop I had found.  
  
It was small and intimate, but I knew she would like it. We sat there by the window eating cake from porcelain cups and plates.   
Mika took a bite from her crème brulee and her eyes sparkled, very pleased at the taste. “It’s so different from here, Takumi.”   
“Of course it would be.”  
She gave a spoonful of her dessert and shook her head. “Yeah, but even people crossing the street try to strike up a conversation with you. I really liked it. You know if you did that here, everyone would look at you weird.”  
“Somehow, I’m not surprised. You’re really friendly.”  
Swallowing hard, she blinked her eyes. “Th-thanks.”  
I pressed down on the cheesecake with my small fork.  
“They do expect you to speak English, but on the most part, I felt like I could be myself over there. For a few days, I was more relaxed there than I’ve ever felt in my whole life even though we spoke different languages.” She took another bite. “There, both men and women enjoyed my golf. I was treated like a girl though I did this sport. I mean here, if you’re better than a guy, they pretty much ignore you.  
“That’s why when I was there, I thought about how I was really happy to meet you, Takumi. Even though I slapped you and everything, you still treated me well. And you weren’t being a pervert trying to get close to me or anything, just a regular guy asking me out.”   
She reached out her hand to put it over mine. “I really appreciate that.”  
 _  
The truth is while you were thinking that in America…  
Your boyfriend in Japan was being a jerk, Mika.  
_  
I almost stopped eating all together.  
  
The whispers around us were becoming a little louder as a few people recognized Mika. They came over to ask for autographs and I sat there not really knowing what to do but eat.  
 _  
If it was us, there would be no problems. People would support us personally and publicly.  
_  
She nodded and happily signed, nodding at me as an apology, but I could see what her victory was unfolding into.   
_  
It was only a matter of time before I’d have to compete with everyone. I knew it when Itsuki and my sempai showed me the magazines with you in them.  
This was what was going to take you far away from me. Or popularity would again disturb the life I’d already gotten used to with both of you in it.  
  
Why do I keep on comparing anyway?  
  
You are always giving me compliments, but you’re the one who made me change my mind about dating all together. I’ve really become more confident as a guy because of you.  
  
While Natsuki was persistent, she waited for me to somewhat catch up. I could forgive her because really tried to change herself for me. Not to win me as a guy, but my respect as a person. And she did, that’s why I loved her. But we couldn’t keep up with each other. She wanted to try everything. I just wanted to try things I found interesting because I knew I’d be interested in them for a long time. It would be hard to change my mind once I started something.  
  
Even though Ryousuke has seen Natsuki’s influence, your sweetness and everyone’s aggression that I passed along the way, he is still patiently waiting.  
  
Setting up everything for me to break my own barriers.  
_  
I finished my cheesecake when the last fan had gotten their signature.  
  
“Takumi, is something wrong? Are you mad? I’m really sorry people keep on interrupting us. I should stop them, but I don’t want to be rude either.” She looked distressed. “All of this is so sudden that I don’t know how I should react, but if it’s in the wrong way, then that will be just as bad. I expected it, but I was naïve about how quickly I’d have to deal with the publicity and promotion once I went overseas.”  
  
“I don’t mind it at all. I really understand.”  
She sighed in relief and then looked at her watch. “Oh, it’s almost my curfew so we’d better go, but here I talked about America and didn’t get to ask you what happened while I was gone.”  
“We can talk about that on the way to your house.”  
  
I paid for the bill and soon, we were trying to beat the clock.  
  
“I finished packing so I don’t have to worry about moving next week.”  
“That’s good.” She put her hand over my thigh. “It’s coming too soon.”  
“Yes.” I held onto the gear shift to make a turn. “But there’s something else.”  
“What happened?”  
“I’m going to do one last race.”  
“Why? I don’t understand. I thought Project D ended when you finished in Kanagawa.”  
“I thought so too.”  
“So that’s why you were distracted.”  
“I was?”  
“It’s like the time you called your teammate right before your race there.” She took her hand away and looked at her lap. “You usually don’t show when you’re worried so that’s why I remembered that time. It has something to do with your leader, doesn’t it?”  
Before I could answer, she shook her head. “No, don’t answer that yet. Tell me tomorrow.”  
  
Her eyes told me, “Please give me today, Takumi.”  
  
I stopped a few blocks from her house. Right after I turned off the engine, she kissed me on the lips. Then, she took out a heart-shaped rock from her pocket. “I found this on the beach there. I thought it was perfect for us.”  
She put it into both of my hands and squeezed them.  
  
“Good night.”  
  
Before I could speak, she opened the door and walked to her house, never glancing back at me as she usually did.  
  
I hit my head on the top of the steering wheel.   
_  
With his parents’ status and her growing fame, no matter how much I’m trying, I feel like I’m going to lose both of you anyway.  
_  
Angry at myself, all I could do was yell inside the closed windows. “WHY?!”  
 _  
Time has run out.  
_ **  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can’t believe we are at chapter 19 and have finally come to Mika.  
> In the back of her mind, I always thought Mika knew that there was something more with Project D, reflected through Takumi’s actions. That was one thing that stuck with me since fifth stage, episode 10.
> 
> I guess he can’t avoid it anymore…it still hurts to write it because I love Takumi a lot…
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	20. The will to win.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is the wonderful creation of Shigeno-sensei and I only write this fic out of obsession and love.  
  
** _  
Just what the fuck was talent anyway?! Why was the price for it so high?  
  
Wasn’t ‘ability’ supposed to be attained through hard work and effort? No one told you that you had to sacrifice so much for it!  
_  
When she closed her eyes to kiss me with her fingers delicately pushing against my cheeks, Mika’s face still showed me gentleness over the hurt.  
 _  
Looking into that face, I realized, “Was this what I really wanted? Is this what I worked so hard for? Didn’t I want to be with someone who would let me do as I pleased because they were independent too? That we’d support one another on every accomplishment towards something that would eventually let us be together?”  
  
Why did it mean something entirely different? That it came to losing you or him?   
  
Mika, you have every right to hate me.  
_  
My eyes became slits as I watched the road with a vengeance that I could no longer control. There was no one else to blame except me.  
 _  
So this is what it amounted to? To ‘win him’ was to ‘give her up’?  
If that was the case, I was more like Keisuke than I thought…   
  
I couldn’t deviate from the number one priority of my life: Driving. Without a doubt, that included him as well.  
_  
The uneasiness felt like someone was crushing my stomach with their bare hands.  
 _  
I can only imagine how Iwase Kyouko felt when Keisuke rejected her.  
_  
Recklessly speeding through and changing lanes, my body acted mechanically, going through the motions. The only difference was that contrary to other times of passivity, my mind became keener to my surroundings, concentrating on the things I normally ignored.  
I don’t know why I acted the complete opposite to the usual drivers’ response of rising hostility with losing rationality. For me, the more my anger rose, the sharper my driving skills became.   
  
This was my form of illogicity.  
 _  
I don’t want to hurt her just because I didn’t know what I wanted. I can’t leave him alone knowing what I actually mean to him.  
I…I never wanted to hurt anyone! How’d it come to this?  
_  
As I paid the tolls, even for a second, it was hard to be cordial. I didn’t want to talk to anyone so I avoided eye contact all together.  
  
Going home right now was out of the question. There was no way that I could face my dad as I was.  
 _  
Mom…Dad…  
Itsuki…Kenji…Iwatani…  
Tsugumi…Mika…  
Keisuke…  
  
Ryousuke.  
_  
Their faces and words cascaded into one another inside my head. All I could do was hold onto the steering wheel, convincing myself that ripping off the leather would not only be cruel in itself but suicide once my dad found out.   
_  
The '86 blowing its engine because of my thoughtlessness…  
I know Dad said it wasn’t my fault, but I had contributed to the damage.  
_  
I sighed at the fact that I was finally getting used to the Impreza so I didn’t want to harm it. It was part of my mental sanctuary. Maybe someday, it would grow to become my sibling too.  
 _  
Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi…_  
My temples started to pound as their words nailed straight into my skin.  
 _  
So that’s why your parents said what they did. From their perspective, I was a nobody with a high school education who played with you for a year. In their subtlety, they defined my affection for you: Love for sale.  
Even if you were the one that offered, I took it. I was the one who made the decision to go along with it. Were they right that I’d sold myself so that you could explain what was going on around me? That I’d mixed up my loyalty towards you as something more?  
  
But I know that’s not true! I’m no good with explanations, but that feeling when after we’d raced on Akina, that’s why I stopped you from leaving too soon…  
  
The saddest thing about this is that even with all my experiences and all our time together spent on Project D, I’m still far behind from being able to describe what I understood automatically through instinct.   
I still can’t figure out what I was missing.  
_  
Plip. Plop. Plip.  
Tiny droplets started to appear on the windshield, sliding into small water streams to one side of the glass.  
 _  
I knew it a long time ago. From the time we went to Happogara and I raced the Honda Civic with that professional driver named Tachi Tomoyuki.  
Without you spelling out how to shatter my glass ceiling, it would nearly be impossible for me to do it alone. I had no strategies. I didn’t know how to really conceptualize an attack until I was in the middle of the battle.   
_  
My body began to shake from the wrath that was slowly making me self-destruct.   
_  
I was just a chassis with all the data inputted into a perfectly tuned system. You were the engine controlling the heart of everything.  
_  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
It was 1:11am when I went up on another side of Akina mountain and passed by Akina Shrine to my left. Turning right, I was heading to the top of the mountain as the rain clattered onto the windows louder and louder.  
 _  
No one would be practicing in this kind of rain. I would be completely alone.  
_  
When I was little, my father used to wake up in the middle of the night just to test his new ideas because he was so excited over it. It was those rare moments where I’d see him with a gleam in his eyes that never appeared during the day.   
_  
I was four and a half.  
“Of course I’ll be back before delivery time. It’s your turn today.”  
Sleepily, I walked out into the hallway, rubbing my eyes as I held onto my small blanket.   
He was heading downstairs in his pajamas, kissing mom as reassurance that he’d come back safely.  
She nodded her head and smirked. “That guy…”  
Looking down at me, she held her hands out to me. I held my arms up to be carried. “Where’s Daddy going?”  
“A new race game.”  
“I wanna play too.” I yawned as I snuggled into her arms.  
“You will.” She patted the skin over my heart. “It’s in your blood.”  
I drifted off to sleep before she put me back into my bed.  
_  
At the top of Akina, as expected, there were no signs of people anywhere except in the hotels by the lake. Even with the brightest lights and the windshield wipers working as hard as they could, the weather was dreadful.   
_  
Perfect.  
_  
An imaginary countdown started. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!  
  
I floored the pedal and the water splashed into my windshield as if a bucket of water was thrown onto the hood.   
Again, I was doing the same thing on Sadamine: My racing instincts tuned my body for the ’86.  
  
“Come on. Work with me, Impreza.”  
  
As we approached the first corner, something strange happened as my tires slid in the rain. I could “see” my father’s lines. Going down, right to left and another corner, that glint of light came again.   
_  
Was I imagining it all? But I could feel it running through my heart.  
_  
In this impossible rain, the '86 was in front of me. Like in a prism, hints of colors were appearing lightly. I was racing that crazy father of mine down Akina.  
Curving left, right, left…sometimes our lines would merge and sometimes they wouldn’t.   
_  
Why didn’t we race the same?  
_  
I could feel him taunting me, smiling enigmatically and reaching for his cigarettes for fun. “Think you can pass me? You’re too green, Takumi. Too clean.”  
  
The coldness of the rain meant nothing as the rush of the pressure of chasing him injected itself into my veins. Making a full right, my hands wanted to turn at the speed he’d have taken.  
 _  
It won’t count as a win if I don’t go ahead, if it’s not at the corner.  
_  
But the ’86 doesn’t fall for its own strengths. On the straightaway, it’s confidently pulling away.  
 _  
My body knows all the timing for the ‘86. The only way is to use the Impreza’s power.  
_  
There’s a sinking feeling inside of me.   
_  
Should I do that? Does that count as a win?  
_  
Turning left and then right, I knew that I was almost at the hairpins. The same place where I lost to him when he drove this car.  
 _  
Even in my mind, I can’t beat him! He has more experience than me. My dad’s perfected his technique and until now, he’s still thinking about how to improve it.  
  
That’s right. I only know how to see the fastest line. I didn’t allow myself to try the other lines. Or play the mind games that came along with it.   
I didn’t know how to approach them at all.  
  
Maybe that’s why I thought he was crazy.   
My father would do anything.  
  
I wasn’t like that.  
_  
As I approached my favorite part of the course, the driver wasn’t my father anymore. The ’86 is out of sight. On the hairpins, it’s the yellow FD turning ahead of me.  
  
My first official and accidental battle is repeating again. As I am now, I see the immaturity behind my wheel back then. I was confident about knowing the road. All for gasoline.  
  
The same thing happens again with Keisuke.  
 _I can see his line. The old Keisuke’s attitude and the new one that wouldn’t make such a careless mistake. The weakness that Ryousuke secretly massacred in his notes again and again.  
_  
Passing the old Keisuke and reaching the end of the hairpins, things were as they had always been: Ryousuke orchestrating this whole program from behind.  
  
The white FC pushes ahead of me. The pressure had already killed me enough for him to pass me earlier. It’s exactly like this very moment. I can’t control my emotions anymore.   
_  
It wasn’t a miracle as everyone said it was. I wasn’t faster as he’d told me. It’s not the fluke I made it out to be.  
  
It was my desperation.  
_  
We turned right into the part of the road where the narrow road became wide and one of the lanes chooses the winner.  
 _  
I always pretended that I didn’t care, but I did.  
  
I wanted to be someone stronger. Someone who could make decisions and act on them without thinking twice.   
So when I found out that driving could be it, that I could find something special about myself, I really wanted to find out.  
_  
On the outside, I passed the imaginary FC that’s tightly shutting the inside line at the last curve. This time, I look to my right to see nothing but rain.   
_  
He isn’t there at all.  
_  
At the bottom, I turn left into the darkened part of the parking lot. Turning off the engine, I cover my face as I leaned onto the steering wheel. I couldn’t even face my reflection in the mirrors.  
 _  
I'm scared that when I get to the circuit, they'll find out I’m not as talented as they thought. They will find out that I really don’t know what they’re talking about.  
And then I’ll have nothing.  
  
The strength and the small confidence I had treasured will again disappear.   
_  
I breathed heavily as my eyes were burning, ready to cry.  
 _  
When you told me your story, I didn’t struggle as much as you did, Ryousuke. It was inside of me, but you had to earn it and keep it there. That’s why you’ll think of everything to win. You will do anything for it.  
That’s the difference between Keisuke and me. I had the patience but he had the will.  
Together, that was truly invincibility.  
_  
Now I knew why I loved him so much.  
 _  
They kept on telling me that I knew how to drive well, but I didn’t know any of the reasoning behind it.  
_  
I owed Ryousuke not only for my new skills or how to logically tell about them.  
  
As I shut my eyes tighter and the tears squeezed themselves out, I fully understood what he was handing me.   
_  
You gave me not only your dream, but the future you’d wanted with it. Because you were taking over the hospital, Keisuke and I were to go in your place.  
_  
He’d been trying to convince himself he didn’t want it, but there must have been a small part of him that wanted to see a life that wasn’t pre-made for him.  
 _  
Keisuke would have fought…  
I wasn’t sure about myself.  
  
How far had he really thought of everything?  
_  
As the rain poured outside, my voice begged in despair, “Where are you ’86?”  
 _  
My brother wasn’t even here for me to cry to.  
We had won all the races, but somewhere along the way, while they waited for us to be defeated, we had already lost, hadn’t we?  
  
It was because of me. Until the end, you had done your best for our team.   
_  
Now I know why Ryousuke wanted me to go to Hakone.   
_  
It wasn’t because you wanted me to surpass your theory at all. It was for me to gain the one thing I hadn’t learned:  
  
The will to win.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
It was comfortable and warm.  
  
The air around me was mixed with scents of jasmine, roses, and lavender. Not overpowering, but soft with the light wind that caressed my skin.  
  
Tenderly and quietly, someone was running their fingertips through my hair.   
  
I felt like a little kid again when I tired myself out and slept in the den only to have my mom lie me on her lap. A smile crept onto my face at the thought. I didn’t open my eyes even though the light was blinding.   
  
Fingernails lightly grazed against my scalp and it made my head tingle. Heavenly.  
  
“You must be so tired.”   
  
This was a woman’s voice.  
  
“Just a little,” I answered back.  
“I’m sorry I left you with such a hard job.”  
“You did?”  
“Yes, I did.” She laughed a bit. “But don’t think too much about it. It seems he questioned you the same way I did to him.”  
I opened my eyes to see the girl in the sketches, but for some reason, I wasn’t shocked.  
She continued to touch my hair as my head rested on her lap.  
“You’re Kaori, aren’t you?”  
With a wide smile, she nodded her head. I was caught in between her enchanting gaze.  
“My dream went to him. And now it will go to you.”  
I just stared up at her peacefully and listened.  
“A dream isn’t a goal. It’s like a miracle, only, you have some control over the outcome. In yours and his terms, it means to find the ultimate line.”  
“I…”   
“Don’t worry. It will be okay.”  
 _  
Kaori…  
_  
When I opened my eyes, I saw Ryousuke above me. We were in the back of the Impreza.   
“Ryousuke?”  
I took a deep breath and looked around, disoriented.  
“Takumi. I’m glad you’re okay.”  
“Why are you here?” I blinked my eyes and realized I was lying on his lap. His left hand was over my chest as the right one rested on my head. They were so hot I thought they’d melt into my skin.  
  
“I was asking your father permission to modify and tune the Impreza for our race. I was also checking certain things on Akina in relation to how you’ve handled it so far, but I didn’t expect you to be here.”  
 _  
Me neither._  
I put my hands over my face. “You even think about that.”  
 _  
You are always thinking about me. I'm so pathetic that I can’t do anything for myself beyond the basics.  
Was I really a professional with a signed contract?  
_  
“About what?”  
“About everything. I’m not good at thinking far ahead like you.”  
  
No sleep, his parents, Mika…  
Much to my dismay, a tear slipped from one side of my face. Then another one fell.   
  
“Just how many sacrifices did you have to make to get where you are now, Ryousuke-san?”  
  
My pride just couldn’t accept it.  
 _  
Of all people, I don’t want you to see me like this.  
_  
He took a hold of my hands and I protested to keep them in place. But he pulled them away and looked down at me. Still holding my arms over my head, his palms seared into my cool ones.  
  
“Beautiful.”  
  
My eyes averted themselves away from his face, seeing the dirt and grease stains on his shirt.   
_  
He must have been modifying his FC again, but did he always do that himself?  
_  
Finally, he let go of me and I sat up, blocking half of my face in shame. Slowly, my eyes turned again to meet his. Tilting his head to one side, he continues to watch me attentively.  
 _  
He looks tired. He’s not the rigid person he presents himself to be. Behind his mask of composure, there is someone who sees others clearly but is himself misunderstood.  
_  
As the rain was falling down loudly into the darkness, he reached out for me. Ryousuke pulled me close to kiss my neck and then my ear. He eyed me again and pushed me down onto the seat.  
 _  
I now know for sure you can see right through to my soul.  
_  
I weakly held onto his arms as his knees touched my hips. Leaning down, he kissed me on the lips. Hungrily, yet trying to hold himself back.   
_  
This is completely different from when he gave me the bag.  
_  
Even though it still felt a little raw, he also kissed the part of my jaw that Keisuke had punched. I gasped as he went back to my neck, pushing up my shirt up to my collarbone. Then his lips started to make a trail going down over my chest while unbuttoning his shirt with his right hand, pushing his left arm into the leather seat.   
At this, he sucks and licks the area over my ribs even harder as my back arched up and my head jerked in response.  
  
His pants pushed against mine and I became harder. The more his skin touched mine, my mind swam further from itself.  
 _  
I don’t know what is happening anymore.  
_  
All I could do was call out his name as I lost myself inside this feeling of confusion, desire, and security.   
  
“Ryou…”  
  
And even more, he’d hold me tighter against him.  
 _  
Whomever is listening,  
give me the will to win him.  
_  
 **  
Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t until this chapter that I truly understood Takumi. Questions always bubbled right at the core of why I liked him so much. At the same time, he seemed so elusive because while looking disengaged, he had that core for mountain racing, which I found quite fascinating.  
> On the other hand, it was excruciating to write this because at certain intervals, I just had to stop crying. Takumi is one of my favorite male characters of all time (next to Subaru and Seishirou from Tokyo Babylon, Ryuichi in Gravitation, Kyouya of Ouran, and Asami in Viewfinder). To watch him here in pain is not easy for me. It is not something we see much of in Initial D with the exception of the whole Natsuki incident leading to the 86’s engine blowing up.
> 
> To be perfectly honest, Ryousuke’s character is easier for me to comprehend, even Keisuke’s spurts of sarcastic cuteness. (I giggle every single time.)
> 
> In another direction, somehow, I always wanted a race with Bunta. I don’t think he’d actually take it seriously with Takumi as he is now, but I really wanted a scene on Akina since that is the heart of how this all this happened. It is a peaceful place and fun to go downhill.  
> I miss those days.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	21. Ai. (Love.)

**Disclaimer – Initial D is not my property and this fic made for this title out of pure admiration.  
**  
  
 _Somewhere in this limited space, there is no such thing as ‘time’.  
  
I’ve lost all sense of reality.  
The only thing that matters is that Ryousuke won’t let go of me or everything will collapse along with it._  
  
Even when my consciousness was slipping, he sat up and pulled me to sit on his lap, my legs apart and knees pressing into the seat. With weak resistance, I pushed against the black leather, my hands touching each side of his head. My eyelids could no longer fight the tiredness, but I could feel his tongue tracing the line of my collarbone, enjoying it to the point he started to bite.  
  
At the tip of falling asleep, he whispered into my ear, “Good morning, Takumi.”  
  
In that instant, each of his fingers pressed into my lower back possessively. Half asleep, my eyes struggled to open again, but my knees pressed further onto the leather seat.  
“Mmm.” My arms suddenly crossed over the back of his neck out of response as I breathed unsteadily into his ear.  
The sweat from his left cheek plastered onto my right one.  
  
With zippers already lowered, I felt him even through the thin cloth separating us. Rubbing against me harder, he nibbled on my ear. “Takumi.”  
Suddenly, I bit my lip. “Nn~!  
My body forced my mind to wake up. In response, I moaned into his ear until I clung on while opening my mouth. “Ah!”  
Our bodies began to relax in between heavy breaths. Hugging me protectively, I put my head on his shoulder, embracing him and wanting more.  
  
For once, our hearts resonated, pulsating onto each other’s skin in one rhythm.  
  
Still holding onto me, he reached over to the door and opened it a little. A small stream of cold air came in. The crispness of the air made me feel content.  
  
For now, on borrowed time, we were in our own world.  
  
The serenity calmed me down along with the sound of his calm breathing in my ear. As I tried to see beyond the window, the rain had almost but disappeared.  
  
My arms moved in to hold him a little closer. Soon, even if it was the most gorgeous after a rainfall, the dawn would come.  
And I’d have to go home, do my deliveries, and possibly explain what happened this night.  
  
 _I want to enjoy this small amount of reassurance. Please, not just yet._  
  
He leaned his head onto mine, knowing the spell would surely end.  
  
Our shirts were on the floor mats and even though it was silent, there was no loneliness or heaviness. In this temporary haven, we could only hear each other without words.  
  
Ryousuke’s left hand rose, holding the back of my head as if I were something precious.  
  
 _I love you._  
  
I closed my eyes because I didn’t want him to see my reflection through the window.  
  
 _I’m so happy and so upset with myself. It took me this long to figure out what you’ve been telling me all along._  
  
I pulled myself back and my wrists draped over his shoulders. Pushing his hair away from his eyes, Ryousuke’s stare bewitches me all over again. My chest moves forward while pulling on his neck so that I can lick his lips and kiss them before the sky changed its hues.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
I left the car running to save time.  
  
 _Just play it cool. It’s not like I haven’t come back late before because of Project D.  
_  
When I put the key into the front lock, my dad was turning on the light for the shop.  
“Good morning,” I greeted as I closed the door behind me.  
  
He stepped into the shop and put on his geta. Then, he stood there rubbing his chin. Looking at my shoes and then up to my face. He did one more take.  
“What?”  
“Heh.” Smirking, he went past me to start loading the car.  
  
 _Why does he look so pleased?_  
  
I helped him as we went back and forth to put everything into the trunk.  
At the end of it, he pushed the trunk down and went back into the house. I sat in the car and waited to do our daily cup ceremony.  
Dad came out and handed me the same type of paper cup that he did every morning since seventh grade.  
I placed it securely into the holder and nodded my head at him. “Okay, see you later.”  
“Wait.”  
“Yeah?”  
“When you come back, Takahashi will come borrow the Impreza to have it looked over. And I will use it when he returns it.”  
“All right.”  
“And another thing.”  
“Yes?” I covered my hand over my mouth while yawning and rubbing my eyes.  
He cleared his throat. “You might want to turn your shirt inside out before you give the tofu. Bye.”  
  
 _!!!_  
  
Beating all previous records, my face turned into a tomato in 0.5 seconds.  
  
Lifting his hand, he turned to go back into the house when I drove off.  
  
Later on, I parked in a place where no one could see me and hastily reversed my shirt. But as I did, I noticed a small…blemish?  
  
A bruise?  
  
I yanked the collar of my shirt and glanced down at my chest in horror. My mouth gaped open.  
  
“While I was sleeping!” My ears turned into a shade of red that I didn’t think was possible, except for sunburn, on human skin.  
  
 _Takahashi Ryousuke~!_  
  
I started the car again and stepped on the accelerator.  
  
 _We were all wrong. The delinquent isn’t Keisuke, but his brother!_  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
When I reach my house, Ryousuke, who had already borrowed my dad’s key since last night and that’s how he got into the car, was sitting on the polished FC with his legs crossed. His right hand leaned onto the hood while the other one held a book.  
  
 _Look at him be all composed! He even changed his shirt!_  
  
As I got closer and parked at the side of the house, he got up and tossed the book into the back seat. My dad came out to the front.  
  
“Morning,” I said briskly.  
Teasing me with a very small curve at the end of his mouth, he greeted me for the second time that day, “Good morning.”  
Amused, my dad first looked at him and then at me, instructing, “You’ll go with him and bring this back to me by 1pm.”  
“Uh, okay.”  
There was no arguing with that tone.  
 _Sheesh. I know I know! I’m sorry already for coming too close for comfort this morning.  
_  
“But give me a few minutes to change. Is that all right, Ryousuke?”  
“That’s no problem.”  
When I went into the house, I raced upstairs to brush my teeth, wash my face and change in record speed. Leaving them alone made me kind of nervous.  
  
At the threshold, I tied my sneakers and walked towards the front door. From the small window, I couldn’t believe they were talking so naturally, without any awkwardness or age separation. Was it because he was a doctor and my dad was a businessman?  
  
I stepped out of the store while Ryousuke was bowing his head respectfully at my father. “Thank you very much, Mr. Fujiwara.”  
“Well, I always wanted to say I was very impressed the last time you tuned the ’86.”  
“Oh no, you can’t give me all the credit. My modifications can’t compare to how well you’ve maintained the ’86. It was a great honor for me to study it.”  
  
I blinked at them, wondering if they even noticed that I’d come out.  
“I’m ready?” I interrupted with a tinge of doubt in my voice.  
  
“I trust your judgment, but could you give me a written note about what you did this time?”  
“Of course.”  
  
With another polite nod, Ryousuke left and I followed him to Matsumoto-san’s.  
  
After returning the Impreza back to my dad, I looked at Ryousuke and told him the truth that today I was supposed to meet Mika. Because I had used the car so much for these past few days, it was Dad’s turn to use it.  
If he could bring me to Shibukawa station, then I could get to Omiya on time.  
Instead, he went past it altogether and stubbornly brought me all the way.  
  
Inwardly, my apprehension turned to pure anxiety the closer we got to Omiya.  
I kept on worrying over Mika recognizing the car because of her friend Tomoko even if she’d never met Ryousuke.  
Also, I was tremendously embarrassed because it was hard to look him in the eye. I couldn’t quite separate the man last night with the insatiable appetite and the disciplined one sitting complacently in the driver’s seat.  
  
Throughout all of this, I was also admiring the way he handled his own car. Precisely pressing on the clutch in his confident way, his wrists glided over one another on the steering wheel and gear shift whenever he turned.  
  
 _If the ’86 is my brother, it’s more than obvious that the FC is his lover.  
Even his fingertips are so elegant as he’s driving._  
  
“You don’t have to bring me all the way there. Don’t you have your special project to do?” I put my hand on his forehead. “At least you seem all right.”  
“It’s all right.” There was an awkward smile on his face. “It’s not like I’ll see you very much after this anyway.”  
  
I watched the road because whenever I looked down, I’d see the marks on my body and feel my whole body turn into a furnace.  
  
He turned on his emergency lights as he parked in front of a convenience store. Turning to me, he said, “Message me. I’ll be in Takasaki and take you home.”  
Then he handed me money.  
“You don’t have to pay for the train. I have my own money.”  
Ryousuke cupped his hand over mine and pressed it into my palm. “Please don’t be stubborn. If you don’t accept this and take the Shinkansen, I’ll come here to pick you up. This will save me an hour.”  
“I can ask my dad to pick me up from Shibukawa Station.”  
“Let me do it.”  
  
I can almost hear him say, “While you’re with me, let me spoil you.”  
  
I gave a single nod and put the money into my pocket. “Thank you and see you later.”  
He grabbed my hand again while looking at the front. Some people started to notice who he was because his vehicle was unmistakable.  
Nonchalantly, his thumb pressed into my palm so it would block anyone from seeing what he was writing. ”A-i-shi-te-ru”.  
  
My head whipped into his direction as my cheeks again betrayed me for the umpteenth time. Quickly, he squeezed my hand and let go.  
“She’s waiting for you.” He refused to look at me.  
  
Stunned, I could only stare at his profile. My words were stuck in my dry throat.  
He pulled away as soon as I got out of the car.  
  
 _You’re no fair, Ryousuke._  
  
Facing towards the nearest staircase, for some reason, I looked up at the overpass. Even though I’d come a little early, Mika had already spotted me.  
  
 _How much did she see?_  
  
I crossed the street to get to the stairs. With each step, all the guilt made scratches on my body like sharp knives scraping against my skin.  
Mika walked up to me while rubbing her eyes. Maybe it was the jetlag.  
We met halfway on the elevated walkway. Holding out her hands to me, she held my fingertips. “Hi.”  
“Hello.” I interlocked our fingers.  
  
We looked very tired and it was only three in the afternoon. The magic of yesterday had faded into some other dream.  
  
“Your father didn’t drop you off?”  
I shook my head, my thumbs pressing onto hers.  
She took a deep breath and nervously asked, “Is that Project D’s leader?”  
  
 _So Tomoko had told you._  
  
It was hard to talk about Ryousuke without incriminating myself.  
  
“Yes. That’s Takahashi Ryousuke.”  
  
 _I can still feel the heat from the letters he wrote on my palm…_  
  
Mika and I held hands as we walked over to the nearest department store to eat. We decided on an Italian restaurant with a buffet.  
  
As soon as we’re assigned a table, we get some pasta, salad, pizza and drinks before sitting across one another.  
“So, you’re being offered a scholarship already?”  
Mika smiled and nodded eagerly. “Golf has been accepted as an official sport in the Olympics so I’m going on a special program offered to train.”  
“That’s great!” I smiled as I ate some of my pizza. “Congratulations. You don’t have to worry too much about college then.”  
“Thanks. Now, I’ll be a little closer to you because it’s in Tokyo.”  
I gulped, but she didn’t see as she ate her spaghetti. “So, enough about my adventures. Let’s talk about you.”  
I ended up wiping my lips with a napkin.  
“You said you had to do one last race?”  
“Yes.”  
“Where will it be?”  
“Hakone.”  
“The same place? That’s odd. You said that you conquered that area already.” She toyed with her pasta. “I thought you didn’t repeat courses.”  
“We did defeat all of Kanto, but this was a challenge to me from Ryousuke-san himself.”  
“Is that why he dropped you off?”  
“Yeah.” I was losing my appetite, but ate a little of my salad anyway. The dressing seemed too sour on my tongue.  
“Can your leader do that?” Mika sipped some of her grape juice. “Is it even necessary?”  
“If he says so, I won’t question him.”  
“Oh.” She sat up and blinked at me.  
I lifted up my fork and put it back down on the bowl. “What?”  
“Nothing, Takumi.”  
  
For rest of the meal, we talked about anything but her college and my race.  
  
I paid for the meal and we went to pray at Hikawa Shrine. We’d made it before the protection charms were being cleared away.  
  
There were some rock barriers that surrounded some trees and so we sat down there. I gripped onto the stone walls for support.  
  
People walked around us and the sky was a very pretty pink with no clouds.  
  
Mika folded her hands in front of her. “You’re not with me anymore, are you, Takumi?”  
“What do you mean?” I looked away from the sky and faced her.  
“You can stop being nice about everything.” It was her turn to watch the sky. “I’m actually really happy you reserved today for me.”  
“Mika?”  
“Today was supposed to be the last day we were going to spend together before you left.” Now, she faced the shrine entrance gate.  
I remained quiet.  
“But it seems you’ve changed since I left to go to that tournament. What happened?” She clenched her hands tighter over one another. “Weren’t we going to make a promise today that we’d try to stay together? That’s why we came to the shrine right?”  
“Yes,” was the only thing I could say. “That’s right.”  
  
Looking down to the dirt floor, her voice turned grave. “I tried so hard, Takumi. To make everything work. And honestly, over and over, I’ve thought about why I couldn’t ever compete against Project D.”  
I reached over to her hand and held it. She didn’t resist me.  
“Isn’t it stupid? To be jealous over your boyfriend’s entire racing team?”  
“No, I don’t think so.”  
 _  
I was too, but for different reasons.  
  
I felt the same with your golf tournaments. You were going around the nation and met so many different people. Because I didn’t go to college and I’m not as savvy as some other guys, I thought you’d dump me eventually._  
  
“But you told me you were fine with it.”  
“Of course I was. Every time you came back, I was so proud of you and grateful that you were safe too. It’s what makes you, you.” Mika looked at me and she looked breathtaking with the sky behind her turning into a lighter shade of pink. “And I understand because golf comes first before you do. So it was natural that I couldn’t ask you to put me above your team.”  
  
Wiping some tears that were brimming on her eyes, she said, “Even though I agreed, there was a part me that always wanted to be your top priority. To only think of me without anything else in the back of your mind. That’s what all girls want deep down inside.”  
  
I realized I was holding my breath. “I-“  
“Wait. Please just let me say this or else I might really cry and never get to finish.”  
“All right.”  
“I kept on thinking what I’d done wrong. Why couldn’t he make a move beyond kissing. Was it because I was still in high school? But you didn’t seem dissatisfied so I thought I’d be patient. After all, we’re both shy people. But that day I found out the real reason why.”  
“That day?”  
“When we were having a date and you were being spacey and fidgety?”  
“When?”  
“You made a call, I think, to one of the Takahashi brothers.”  
“Oh…” I remembered. It was the day before our race in Hakone.  
“You were worried about him, weren’t you?”  
“Yes because of the ‘imposter’ rumor.”  
“I don’t think you really understand, Takumi.” She shook her head and her hair brushed against her shoulders. “I can tell. You’re cool about most things. You concentrate on things one at a time to give them proper care and attention. That includes me.”  
  
Mika pushed some of her hair behind her ear. “But when you got worried or felt sad, it was never with me-“  
“Because I’ve always been happy with you. I can be relaxed.”  
“That’s just it.”  
I didn’t get what she was telling me at all...  
  
“The real you was always with the team. I never had all of you. I realized this when you were talking on the phone. As I watched you, for the very first time since we’d met, your face was so expressive. You looked more than worried, almost depressed. So when you turned to see me through the restaurant window, I was staring at the table and then nervously waved at you. I knew from that moment on, even if you weren’t aware of it, you really cared about that guy.”  
  
 _Deep inside, my heart knew before I was even conscious of it.  
It seems like everyone knew but me.  
_  
My thumb rubbed gently on her hand.  
  
“I didn’t want to believe it because I thought we were doing great. But this afternoon, it all made sense. When you came out of the car, you again had that agitated expression. Like your heart would break cleanly in half for him.  
  
When you look forward, it isn’t at me. It’s towards him.”  
  
Her lip quivered and she tried so hard not to cry in front of me though some tears slipped through. She brushed them off as fast as she could. “Why, Takumi? Please tell me why.”  
  
Not knowing how she’d react, I brought her head to rest on my shoulder. While I held her head, she took out tissues from her small purse and blew her nose.  
  
 _I’m not exactly sure what you want to hear…_  
  
“This started when Keisuke-san challenged the Akina Speed Stars to meet the driver of the ’86. At the time, Iketani-sempai went to my dad for help for our team. Instead of going himself, my dad sent me to defeat Keisuke-san. It was all for a full tank of gasoline.”  
“Gasoline?” A little chuckle came out of her mouth.  
“Yes, it’s true. I was tempted with gasoline, but when I got there, I regretted coming at all. In the end, I somehow beat Keisuke-san and after a few weeks, Ryousuke-san challenged me too. I worried about it from the time I got his note all the way until I had to battle him on Akina. I freaked out. Even though he was a famous street racer who had a perfect record, I didn’t want to lose.  
“Most of all, I didn’t want to lose to myself.  
“Afterwards, when I was standing in front of him and we were talking, I had this strong feeling inside of me towards him. I didn’t understand why so I tried to ignore it and forget it all together. Then, he showed up again and this time it was to ask me to be on his team. That same feeling, with such a strong force, came back all over again.  
“By that time, after my friends showed me a lot of videos, magazine articles, and websites, I’d admired and respected him so much that I wanted to become like him. Maybe I could become my ideal self if I followed this man. That was all I thought at that time. But in the middle of it all, everyone told me I was the best, but I really didn’t know why they admired someone like me. Nor could I explain how or why I’d won. In the back of my mind, I wondered if driving was truly meant for me.”  
  
“You’re obviously good at it, so isn’t it meant for you?”  
“Just because you’re good at something, do you have to stake your whole life on it?”  
“That’s true. No, you don’t.”  
  
“While figuring all that out, when I was becoming very popular with Project D, the imposter led you to meet me. The girl I loved had left for Tokyo and so when you appeared, you were almost complete opposites. I mean you have one of the cutest faces I’ve ever seen, but I think that’s why it was love at first sight. You’re very strong. You came all the way to see me to stand up for your friend. That totally blew me away.”  
“Really?”  
  
“Yeah because I’d do the same for Itsuki.” I gave a small smile. “You know exactly what you want and how harsh it is to develop yourself. To work on your craft every single day. I know how hard you work more than anyone.”  
“You loved me because of my strength, but you’re also telling me that you’re breaking up with me because of it. I don’t understand. Did I do something wrong?”  
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not you at all.”  
“Yes it is if you’re feeling this way. Two weeks ago, we decided that we would try to make it work. Why are you changing your mind now?”  
I took out her present from my pocket and put the small orange crystal butterfly around her neck. “Yes, I know I was the one who said I’d wanted to try to make it work.”  
“Weren’t we going to write to each other and call? It’s not like you’re moving to another country. Why does it have to be this way?”  
“I’m giving you this necklace because of all the people I’ve met, we were the most alike. You knew me without my explanations.”  
  
Another tear fell down her cheek. “Then why are we breaking up? You still haven’t explained to it to me.”  
“He…” I took my hands away and put them on my lap. “He gave me all that he possibly could.”  
  
 _I can’t tell you…  
Time, training, notes, repairs, tuning, sleepless nights…so many things. I can’t count the number of times he’s saved me._  
  
“Me too.”  
“But you met me in the middle, Mika. After I had done so many races, I grew into someone that I was starting to like. But the person who made the me that’s sitting next to you now is Ryousuke-san. He forced me to believe in the ‘me’ I would become long before I knew who that even was.”  
  
 _Please understand._  
  
She held her hand up and slapped me. I hugged her as she shook, crying onto my shirt.  
I knew she was a prideful person who hated to cry in public so as she sobbed, every tear dug my heart deeper into the ground.  
  
“I’m sorry.” I had tears in my eyes as my voice cracked. “I never wanted to hurt you because I love you, Mika.”  
“Usually a confession is supposed to make someone happy…” She pushed herself away and stood up with her back towards me. “Thanks for telling me the truth. Thank you for everything, Takumi. I really wish you luck for the future.”  
“Can’t we at least be friends?”  
“No. No, we can’t. Goodbye.”  
“Goodbye.”  
  
 _Even though I didn’t deserve it, thank you for loving me, Mika._  
  
Completely poised, with her back straight and her head looking forward, she stepped away further and further away from me. My eyes strained to watch until there was no more trace of her in front of me.  
  
 _A part of you will always be here with me._  
  
  
The night had fallen and with swollen eyes, I finally got up from my place.  
  
In the end, I took the local train towards Takasaki.  
  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow updates. I had been watching the Olympics for the US and Japan until the end! <3
> 
> Chapter 21? I was quite skeptical about it lasting this long, but I also knew that I didn’t want to rush either.  
> Since I enjoy one-shots, I spend most of my time trying to pack a lot in a few pages. But many years later, it gets longer to edit because I want certain details. ;_;
> 
> I was very weary of this chapter because in order for Takumi to be with Ryousuke, he has to break up with Mika. I know I could have totally dismissed this matter, but I wanted this to take place in its actual universe, though I’ve mixed both the manga and anime.  
> I mean, we have Takumi fanboying since their race on chapter 50 and blushes just being next to Ryousuke by chapter 147. (And didn’t notice him in chapter 2. Yes, we know the boy is slow…that’s why I love him…) Mika came on Chapter 428 and he was sighing about her emailing everyday, but is very happy that she calls him cute and popular. They're similar so it’s easy to understand why they connected.  
> So yes…this puzzled me. It took me years to even write “karisuma” based on that blush in Third Stage.  
> Don’t get me wrong, I like Mika and think she complements Takumi unlike any other character in the ID universe. Maybe it is because she is completely separate from his driving world.  
> I mean each of the girls in Initial D have distinctive characters and I like each of them. You remember them because they have a personality. If I think about any manga, this is one of those anime/manga with women I can relate to.
> 
> In other words, there’s another part of me that’s dying because any kind of breakup just sucks…and to write about it…is excruciating.
> 
> WAH! Takumi I love you SO MUCH in all of anime and yet I’ve made you and Ryousuke to be such jerks in this fic! -_-;;; (Did I really think about this???) Then again, it’s interesting to find more angles within their characters. I kind of like it because they became more human/lovable to me. I hadn’t realized all the hidden things I had thought until I read the chapters again in succession.
> 
> Thank you again for reading and all the reviews. It has given me a lot of encouragement as I steer through. I have been writing fanfics for a very long time so I am very happy to know there are still people reading and enjoying my stories. For me, it is a special connection that is unlike any other in the world.
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	22. The power of choice.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is the property of Shigeno-sensei and is in no way mine. :)  
**

  
Somehow, I was able to get a seat near the door so I leaned onto the side guard. I took out my headphones and listened only to have some background, some noise to disrupt the sounds of the train moving closer to Takasaki.  
  
Gata gata gata…  
Looking across, it was pure black with only occasional dots of light from the houses sparsely distanced from one another. It had been very different to drive through and for once, I was glad to just sit and be a passenger. To process everything.  
Paradoxes…I wanted to be around people, but didn’t want to talk to anyone at all too. This was a part of me that probably Itsuki understood, but I was too stubborn to admit it. It was like I didn’t mind crowds as long as they didn’t talk to me because I wouldn’t know how to react.  
  
My phone started to ring and I scrambled to turn it off, forgetting I had headphones on so no one could hear it anyway. Others on the train were too tired to bother to look at me dismissively. Without even reading the screen, I knew it was Ryousuke.  
After rubbing the sides with my thumb and replaying the song, I snuggled against the side guard to my right side.  
  
I don’t want to talk to you but I want to be comforted. However, this isn’t something you can fix with your theories.   
  
Closing my eyes, my mind played its own mini film clips…  
 _  
“Are you listening to me, Takumi~?”  
“Yes, I am.”  
“Then say something.”  
“I’m not exactly-“  
“Takumi!”  
Mika’s back was facing me as she looked in the mirror. Wearing a camisole with tight jeans and red heels, she turned her hips to make sure that the outfit was just right.  
  
I was too dumbfounded by the red heels and her ankles that by the time I saw her hip bone, my hand instinctively already covered my nose just in case. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING was registering. All her words were jumbled together in my mind.  
  
So innocent. She didn’t know that she was already seducing me.  
I was REALLY glad she’d slapped me so that now, I could see this.   
  
“I’ll take it then.”  
“Hmm?”  
  
When we were walking out, I was lightly gripping the strings of her purchase. Her hands were folded in back of her, smiling proudly to herself. “Thanks for buying it. It’ll be my lucky outfit from now on.”  
“Why do you say that?”  
“I’ve never seen you drool before.”  
“Uhh…”  
She kissed me on the cheek. “You were really cute.”  
  
On the drive back to her house, she was on cloud nine, grinning to herself while hugging the bag. Looking out the window, I smiled to myself and then resumed watching the road.  
  
 **#####**  
  
She pushed her dress down as it billowed out with the strong gust of wind.  
  
I was overpowered by the way the sun fell on her. She wiped sweat from her brow. Her teeth were showing as she smiled at me like there was nothing wrong with the world. I really believed it.  
  
Another battle in two days and all of this would have been a distant memory.  
  
Mika had insisted that even if she was dressed up, she’d wanted to still practice at the end of the day. It made sense. In order to spend a least two more hours together, this was the only solution we could come up with.  
  
The leather gloves against the steel golf club. Her waist twisted as she held the club back in full concentration.  
  
Pwack!  
  
The white ball was off the tee with such grace that it was the first time the rush of the battles coincided with her world.  
  
I really wanted her.  
  
That was the day I asked her to be my girlfriend.  
  
 **#####**  
  
“Huh?”  
Hugging me from behind, she’d caught me off guard. She squeezed me tighter while her knees pressed against my ass.   
“What’s wrong?”  
I had my back towards the lake and crossed my arms while eyeing the ’86.  
Sighing, I shook my head, not wanting to show her such a stupid side of me.  
“No, really. You should tell me. You look depressed.”  
“Sorry. It must be a drag going on a date like this.”  
She shook her head, the ends of her hair tickling my face. “No. Actually, I kind of like it.”  
“No way…”  
“You keep looking at your car. Did it have to do anything with yesterday’s battle?”  
I gave a slight nod. “I’ve faced him before, but this time he said I should develop myself here. To not lose what I have while going down the mountain.”  
“Then why do you look so confused?”  
“When I tried to discuss this with Ryousuke-san, he wasn’t mad, but looked a bit…perturbed? He said that that guy was right, but that I don’t fully understand either. That not to mix up my pride and fearlessness on the mountain and underestimate the closed circuit.”  
Mika brushed the back of her fingers on my right cheek and whispered, “I don’t know your leader, but I think he's telling you to move forward and not look back.”  
I turned my head so that I could kiss her fingers.   
  
Your voice could always soothe down the things I never asked you to fix…  
_  
Keeping my eyes shut, I sighed again.  
  
 _I cherish both of you._  
  
“The next stop is Takasaki. This is the last stop. Thank you for riding…”  
  
Getting off the train, I glanced at my phone screen, “Missed call. Ryousuke.” I knew he was probably just a few blocks away, but as I walked up the stairs, I debated if I should call Itsuki instead. More than ever, I wanted to talk and be silent at the same time. I wanted to be with someone, get drunk, anything to relieve the image of Mika’s face while she was crying. All because of me.  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
 _  
Message (140/140)  
Name: Takahashi R.  
Subject: None  
Attachment: None  
  
I’m sorry. I will see you in Hakone.  
_  
  
I sent the email right before Itsuki drove up to the FamiMi convenience store in front of the station, facing the hotel where I’d met Ryousuke’s parents.  
  
Looking half dead, Itsuki didn’t open his mouth as I came and sat in the car. He could tell though. After years of being together, not saying anything was louder, clearer than actually talking. I was sure he’d already guessed what had happened.  
  
As we got onto the main street, he questioned, “Hey, can I ask you something?”  
“Yeah?”  
“By any chance, did you and Ryousuke-san advertise your battle?”  
“Of course not. That was just between us. Though I’m sure he made arrangements with the people in Hakone to borrow the road for a while. Why?”  
“Pick up my phone and look at it.”  
Taking the phone that sat between us, I scrolled through the list of sites.   
  
“There’s this many mentioning about it?”   
  
_I don’t have the energy to deal with this._  
  
It was like the last step to cutting my head off for all I felt at that moment.  
“Will it be a problem?”  
“I…I don’t know what to think right now.”  
  
My world and my mind were spinning in circles as I scrolled further down.  
  
“This weekend in Hakone, former Project D leader aka the White Comet Takahashi Ryousuke will go against both of his specialists for the downhill and uphill, Fujiwara Takumi and his brother Takahashi Keisuke. Whatever the result, it is sure to be a piece in racing history.”  
  
 _Both?! Why didn’t they tell me?_  
  
“Who wrote this? Why would they know?”  
“I don’t know Takumi, that’s why I was asking you. We were discussing about this at the gas station and then you called me.”  
“Keisuke-san will race Ryousuke too?” I said in shock, almost like it was to myself.  
  
Speaking of the punk, his ringtone started to go off in my pocket.   
  
“Shouldn’t you get that?”  
  
Shaking my head, I answered, “I can’t face them right now.”   
I hung my head despondently. “I told her today that’s why.”  
  
Itsuki reached out his hand to pat my back as he drove. “I know you did the best you could with her.”  
Then, he stopped patting my back and held out his sleeve.   
  
_Wasn’t it summer?_  
  
“I had a feeling I should wear a long-sleeved blouse, so…it’s okay to cry.”  
  
Before the tears welled up, I took his arm and pushed my eyes onto it.  
  
“Whenever I remember her face…”  
“You tend to forget…” He kept his eyes on the road. “At least she loved you back.”   
  
_I’m sorry to you too, Itsuki, for being such a jerk right now._  
  
  
But instead of going home, we drove to Mount Myogi. We sat in the car as sporadic racers went by. I only heard the occasional pumping engines and screeching tires as Itsuki pulled me over. “Never be ashamed to cry. Love sucks that way sometimes.”  
  
I could only cry and swallow my pride. “Why do you always know, Itsuki?”  
  
“Because you’re like my brother, Takumi. From the first day we met, I just knew.” He continued to pat my back. “You were the daydreamer and I was always picked on because of my face. I figured we should stick together.”  
  
Since the time my mother passed away, I had never cried so much in my life.  
 _  
Simple things…everything used to be so easy…  
You meet someone and you fall in love and you have a family like in the movies.  
  
I waited for something like this to finally happen to me. Then when it does, it isn’t that at all. There are too many questions and even more choices to make.  
You choose according to your boundaries. You give a little of your freedom and hold onto something or keep all the possibilities that are still waiting for you. Options…  
  
But not thinking that much, simply, I only wanted to become stronger, to be someone that I could be proud of.   
Maybe that’s why I kept on racing. I wanted to know why I had to fight this hard.   
  
It was probably to acknowledge myself. To accept that this was me and all my capabilities.  
  
I realize now that I was more like Ryousuke than I thought. I didn’t want everything to be so defined.  
  
Was all this okay? Would it turn out all right?  
  
I learned that as much they advertise it, you really can’t have everything.  
That is the power of choice.   
_  
  
Itsuki and I stayed there until my eyes ran out of tears.  
  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter focused on Mika, but wow, Itsuki. He was always a comic foil in the manga/anime, but whenever I write about him, there is a sense of comfort. He really is such an awesome friend to Takumi. (Takumi, you should thank him by the end of this fic!) T________________________T Itsuki, I love you too!
> 
> Yay! We’re almost at Hakone and now we know Keisuke’s gonna definitely be there! But there’s still more to go and I’m really psyched up to get to the end!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	23. As his equal.

**Disclaimer – Initial D doesn’t belong to Yui.  
  
**  
From Mount Myogi until my doorstep, we exchanged no words, but in between the patches of light from the outside, I’d glance at Itsuki’s sleeves, wet and out of season. I hadn’t mentioned why or what, and he'd come prepared anyway.  
  
 _“Hey Itsuki, could you pick me up from Takasaki station right now?”  
“Sure. I’ll be right there.”  
_  
That was all I said.  
  
Now, the single thought, even above Mika’s shaky voice and Ryousuke’s muted jealousy swirling in my head, that kept persisting through was, “How will you make this up to Itsuki?”  
  
 _You’ve been my friend this whole time and I’ve never really thought about what I could do to make you happy. We talk all the time, and I still didn’t get it.  
_  
I lifted my hand up. “Thanks.”  
He smiled and gave me a thumbs up. “Anytime.”  
  
Even at 2am, he was this upbeat.   
  
Looking up at the window to my room, I remembered when he had thrown pebbles and picked me up then too.   
After pushing my key into the lock, I took off my shoes, walked up the stairs, and plopped myself on my bed.   
  
Gradually cracking from the pressure, my brain was too achy and numb to sleep. I ended up staring into the shadows of my room until delivery time.  
  
Even the cold water while washing my face didn’t feel refreshing and I was too afraid to see my reflection.  
  
Without explanations, after handing me the last cup of water for my last run, my dad rested his hand on my head. I thought I had cried enough, but it seemed like a lie. I could feel the burn of some tears on the rims of my eyes as I turned to him.  
  
 _I’d been doing this for years. Why get sentimental now?_  
  
“Your mom would be proud to see this day.”  
  
He took his hand away and pulled a cigarette from his shirt pocket. As I pulled farther and farther away, I saw him light up and lean against the house, looking into my direction.  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
I took a short nap before packing up to go towards Hakone and left after picking up the rental car for Dad to use while I was gone.  
  
After stopping in the convenience store at Shibukawa Station, I leaned my back on the driver’s door of the Impreza and checked my phone again. Another missed call from Ryousuke and a voicemail from Keisuke.  
  
I gulped, not really being in the mindset to call either, but dialed Ryousuke’s number anyway.   
  
The world appeared too fuzzy as the sun shined extremely bright. It was dry all around, and even though I had my drink in my bag, I had no desire to open it.  
“Good morning, Takumi.”  
“Hello.”  
“Give me a moment.” Something went clack on the other end of the line. After some metal crackling in the background, he came back. “Thank you.”  
“I’m sorry I didn’t call you until now.”  
“It’s all right. I wanted to make sure you made it home safely since I’d said I’d take you.”  
“I asked Itsuki.”  
“I see.”  
“And he showed me something.”  
“Such as…?”  
“Why didn’t you tell me that Keisuke was racing you too?” My eyes averted themselves away from the glare of the tar.   
“Are you angry with me because of that?”  
  
He nailed it and I eluded the question, clenching the plastic bag in my hand.  
  
“So many websites are discussing about it. I thought it was something private.”  
 _  
Wasn’t it just between you and me? You made it seem that way. So for what purpose did I go through all this turmoil for?  
_  
“It is. I wasn’t the one who leaked it out. Otherwise, I’d have announced it directly on the Project D website.”  
“But neither of you told me that you were racing one another.”  
 _  
Why was my blood bubbling? I was much more vexed than I thought._  
  
“I don’t understand why you sound upset.”  
“I…” I stammered as I felt my whole body begin to shake from his nonchalant attitude. “Just when I’m one step closer to understanding you, when I think I have something solid, you slip away from me all over again.”  
  
 _I don’t know if you’re conscious of what you’re doing._  
  
“You know more than you think.”  
“But if you don’t tell me, it’s meaningless.”  
 _  
Why don’t you get it?_  
  
“I didn’t know that it would affect you so much.”  
“That’s what you always think.”  
  
The skin over my heart never felt so thin.  
  
“Taku-“  
“Ryousuke, since the night that you stopped for me, I’ve been aware of you. You were always around me somehow. And when I joined your team, I became more and more conscious of the hold you had over me until I realized that I wanted to be looked on as your peer. I want you to see me eye-to-eye, even if I don’t have all the confidence I should have by now. But you say and do things like this to show me…”   
_  
…that you don’t really understand how important you are to me.  
Because I accept you for who you are.   
  
I love you so I need you.   
_  
“…you’re still planning everything all by yourself. With or without me.”  
  
Click. “Call ended” flashed before I realized I’d hung up on him.  
  
 _I hear it in your voice. You’re doing everything because you don’t want to lose me, still trying to control what you have no power over._  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
The background of mufflers and engines was too noisy with Keisuke shouting, ”Hey, cancel your hotel and stay with me in Mishima! Call me when you’re in.”  
  
Just like his older brother, refusal wasn’t an option. I was lucky that I’d been able to cancel without paying any fees.   
  
Pushing down the trunk, I put my duffel bag over my shoulder and noticed the long stone road, a remnant of the Edo period. Further on, there stood the side entrance of the main shrine of Mishima.   
I stepped in front of my car, standing in front of the small metal gate and looking up at the small light green house. It seemed to be the correct address on his email. I reached over the gate to turn the handle.   
As instructed, I took the key from the mailbox to let myself in.  
  
After I closed the door behind me, I noticed how bare it was. It was a little dark at the genkan. When I took a few steps, to my right was a bathroom and in front of me was a closed room.   
In contrast, when I’d walked up the steps to my left, all the walls were white that the light from the windows seemed blinding. The blue couch with a small coffee table in front of it faced a medium sized digital tv. There was a very nice and clean, yet narrow kitchen with a single pan on the gas stovetop. The fridge was a white one, almost retro in design. In back of me, it appeared to be his bedroom.  
  
Putting my things down on one side of the couch, I called Keisuke.  
  
“I’ll be there in about an hour so make yourself at home.”  
  
Somehow, I’d expected Keisuke to be living in a really high-end apartment overlooking the city, but instead, it was not big or small, just nice and cozy. It was almost like being at home, only without the tatami.  
  
I found myself opening the windows of the living room and kitchen and going back to the couch to lie down. With the warmth of the sun and relaxing breeze coming through, I found myself sleeping until Keisuke came home.  
  
Shortly after, we drove to the front of the station and ate at a steakhouse. Quickly, we ordered, but I didn’t know where to start. There were many things I wanted to know. I wasn’t even sure if he’d answer, but then again, he wasn’t the secretive type.   
  
“Thanks for letting me stay with you.”  
“Naw, don’t worry about it.” He reached out and turned my head so that he could look at my cheek.   
“Oh, it’s not as bad.” I tried to dismiss it entirely.  
Keisuke let go of my chin and began to cut into his meat. “Even if I was mad, I shouldn’t have hit you.”  
“After hearing the story from your brother,” I said as I took a bite of some corn, “it seems justified.”  
“He finally told you?”  
“More or less. Some things are blurry, but I think I have a better idea of everything. He told me about Kaori and how you punched him back into consciousness.”  
“Yeah, it was all pretty fucked up. I was having my own issues and everything was breaking down around me so I hate that time all together.” He took a bite of his meat. “He’s not as strong as people think he is. And he doesn’t know how to ask for what he truly wants, no matter how honest he is.”  
“I know that very well now.”  
“I’m very sure that guy went up to you with that air of his, but you don’t know how worried he was. He didn’t want anyone else as the downhill driver and wouldn’t compromise, insisting it had to be you. I’d never seen him so adamant about anything. He asked me if there was anything I could do and he rarely asked favors from me, so that’s why I went to push you to join.”  
  
I stopped eating. “But he always looked so self-assured.”  
“Do you think he’d show anything else besides that? This was the same guy who fought with fourth graders when he was in the third grade. Someone had pushed me. I know the kid said something about how our family always showed off. I didn’t understand it at the time, but my brother saw us across the yard.   
“It didn’t matter that the yard sections were separated, Aniki completely snapped, taking that boy’s collar. ‘Don’t you dare touch my brother again.’ I’d never seen him that like that. The dorky brother with his perfectly ironed uniform was actually standing up for me. I never saw him the same way again.”  
  
Looking at how pleased Keisuke was over this story, I shook my head and smiled. “You guys are really funny. Always talking about each other when it’s not about cars.”  
Pouting a bit, Keisuke continued to eat.  
  
 _Now I have some clues of what Ryousuke has been doing all these years…_  
  
“Is there any time that he doesn’t have the answer?” I wondered aloud as I resumed eating.  
“Yeah, of course.”   
I noticed he’d already finished eating and was drinking his water!   
He leaned back into the wall and crossed his arms. “I’ll tell you about it later, but first, let’s talk about the first girl he liked. He was in the third grade. Aniki always wanted to be in the front of the line so that his teacher would notice him…”  
  
I ended up laughing so hard at all Keisuke’s stories that it didn’t seem like they were about the Ryousuke we knew.  
  
When we were walking back to the parking lot, I saw the moon as the wind calmly passed around us. With my heart pounding relentlessly, I blurted out, “Do you think he’d ever accept me?”  
“Hmm?”  
“As his equal. As a person he respects.”  
  
 _As his lover?_  
  
In the middle of the turnaround, Keisuke stopped and turned his head to me.  
I continued, “He does things all by himself. I was really angry that I didn’t know that he’d ask you to race him too. It’s like he keeps coming towards me and when I finally face him, he retreats all over again. He makes decisions about me according to his predictions too.”  
“He gets along with everyone, but besides me, even I don’t know who he’s really close to.” He ran his hand through his spiky hair and stopped halfway. “I have a hint, but I think that’s just how he is. I don’t know if he trusts himself as much as we think.”   
  
From Keisuke’s tone, I could tell this was something he speculated, but couldn’t ever talk about with anyone.  
  
He took a step forward and reached out to put his hand right below my neck and in between my shoulder blades. Without looking at me, he stared straight forward. “Besides racing, I don’t think there’s anything for him, but you.”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
Driving behind the yellow FD along to Hakone, I turned on the radio. It immediately grabbed me because the young girl was singing with an acoustic guitar.  
  
“You want me to wake up,  
Tell you that everything wasn’t true,  
Pushing everything away,  
It was all your delusion  
Your heart created its own illusion.  
  
It wasn’t mine anyway.  
Never mine, any day.  
  
Why do you put up all these walls  
So that I can’t get over them?  
Why do you punish me   
For other people’s mistakes?  
Is it really for my sake?  
  
Making love on the phone,  
Whispered words are so beautiful  
When we’re not in the same room.  
Next to one another,  
The bed’s still cold   
Even when our skins touch.   
  
You want me to wake up,  
Tell you that everything wasn’t true,  
Pushing everything away,  
It was all your delusion  
Your heart created its own illusion.  
  
It wasn’t mine anyway.  
Never mine, any day.  
  
I don’t understand  
Why it isn’t enough?  
Even if I say I love you  
You’re still distant  
Though you’re right next to me…”  
  
Even when we arrived on Hakone, as I held the walkie talkie in one hand and a stopwatch in another, the song lyrics played in the cool air around me. Back and forth, I would do my run and then alternate with Keisuke.  
  
The Impreza was here with me and I had to force myself to forget the ’86. We had to get used to one another even if I remembered the details of the course very well. It was like shedding one skin for another, a transformation I wasn’t quite ready for yet. I didn’t want to let go because I had to become someone different, but there wasn’t a lot of time left.  
  
Holding onto the steering wheel, I looked out into the dark road knowing that I had to be strong enough for all three of us.   
  
I had to be the one to lead this time to make Ryousuke feel thoroughly satisfied with what he had done.   
To get Keisuke’s approval as the only rival he’d look at and give the reassurance that I’d protect his brother with all my might.   
  
For me to take the gift given to me and fight, proving to myself that I deserved it.   
  
Crazily, there were already people securing their places for tomorrow’s run and after many hours, right before the dawn, we went back to Keisuke’s house.   
  
***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
I was about to sleep on the couch when Keisuke called out to me from his room. “Hey, we can share the bed. The couch isn’t as comfy as the one at home.”  
“But-“  
“I still have things I want to talk about.”  
  
Persuasive as ever, he slept on one side and gave me my own set of blankets. The bed was bigger and softer than I’d expected.   
  
“I’m glad you’re here, Takumi,” he said as he turned off the lights and I settled into the bed.  
“I have to honestly say…I always thought I was intruding between you and your brother.”  
He got under his covers and sighed. “I admit for a while I resented it, but it was good. This was probably the first time that my brother and I were interested in the same person.”  
“Huh?”  
“Our friends and hobbies usually didn’t match. As I told you, he brought me into his world of cars. I was trying hard not to be like my brother but at the same time, I hadn’t realized he was trying to find a way to connect with me. It’s like we met in the middle with racing and it clicked. Then you came. I was becoming bored and you gave me something to aim for. I don’t know about Aniki, but when he was trying to find your stats and that night he raced you, he smiled in front of the computer screen. I came in because it hurt to know his record had been broken. I wanted to cheer him up.   
“He was looking up at the ceiling, sitting on his chair in his room and grinning. I hadn’t seen that for a long time. It was like the way before Kaori and our parents began fighting a lot. He just looked so happy to be where he was. I think it’s because even if his record was broken, he had finally raced the way he’d always wanted to. And that was because of you.  
“So of course I envied you. You beat me to my first goal.”  
  
“I know that you always think that I’m looking at your brother, but I always wanted to tell you that this began with you.”  
“Me? Because I challenged you?”  
“It was when you were racing Nakazato-san. I was in the crowd watching and when you passed by, I had an inkling of what everybody was talking about. Like an electrical surge, that was the instant I wanted to be a part of something more. I understood a little of the passion that everyone around me felt. Your brother may have been the one that finished everything, but you were the one that started it for me.”  
There was a long pause. Unlike the brash, arrogant racer I knew him to be, he replied almost embarrassed, “No wonder Aniki said you were off limits.”  
“For what?”  
“I wonder…”  
“Why are you guys always like this to me?”  
“We each have our own reasons.”  
He turned over and his back faced me as I stared at him in complete bewilderment.   
  
_These two brothers!_  
  
After a couple of minutes, I asked him the question that was bugging me for a long time.  
“Sleeping yet?”  
“No. I think I’m too excited for our battle.”  
“Then can I ask you something? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but…”  
“Depends on the question. What is it?” He yawned.  
“Did you see the news about Iwase Kyouko?”  
“Yes.” He adjusted himself to sleep on his back but still not turning his head towards me. “Why?”  
“Project D is over now. Is it okay for you to leave things like this?”  
“Why are you being nosy?”  
“I wondered because you never talked about it.”  
“There’s nothing more to it. I’ve gotta focus on my pro career now.”  
I reached out to his shoulder. “Like your brother pulling me, didn’t you do the same with her? Don’t you think she came to the pros because of you?”  
“She can do what she wants.” He crossed his arms.  
“You don’t have to be so-“  
“There isn’t a day that goes by that I haven’t regretted what I said. There. You made me say it.”   
Keisuke rolled over and I pulled my hand back. Getting up, I left the room.  
“You don’t have to leave. I’m not really mad, you know. It’s just hard to talk about Kyouko without remembering how dumb I was.”  
  
Outside, I unzipped the outer pocket of my duffel bag and took out something. I turned on the light.  
“Don’t turn on the light! I’ve only got an hour before I get up!”  
Walking over, I tossed the envelope marked “Darling” onto his stomach. “Iwase said to give this to you.”  
“You talked with her?”  
I tilted my head from side to side. “You could say that.”  
Getting into bed, he sat up with the envelope in his hands. I blinked my eyes sleepily and yawned loudly.   
  
“Before I forget, I said I’d tell you something.”   
“Yeah?”  
“Aniki looks tough and I know he acts it because he wants me to be strong too, but deep inside, he’s a real softie. That guy can’t go to sleep without someone or something next to him. Before our house was renovated, we shared one room, his current room. So when we were little, we slept together and then our parents said we had to get separate rooms. After that, Aniki slept with a stuffed animal or an extra pillow, whatever he could wrap his arms around.  
“I shouldn’t tell you this, but before he met Kaori, he didn’t take anyone seriously. He used to be completely clueless about his own popularity because he was in his own universe and focusing on bigger things. A lot of misunderstandings happened due to his tact.   
“Do you get what I’m saying?”  
  
“Kind of.”  
“So, what I’m saying is to hit him when he deserves it, but please take good care of him. Good night.”   
  
_Since when had we become this close that you included me in yours and Ryousuke’s shielded circle?  
_  
I smiled at Keisuke’s back as he opened the letter. “Good night, Keisuke-san.”  
  
My hand reached over to the corner of the bed for my phone.  
  
 _Message (141/143)  
Name: Takahashi R.  
Subject: None  
Attachment: None  
  
Please forgive me for making you feel that way. Actually, I was calling to tell you that I finished my special project and I wanted you to check it. I’ll give you the key after the battles.  
  
I’m looking forward to seeing you and Kei tomorrow.  
  
Waiting,  
Ryou_  
  
The light of the phone became faint and it blacked out. My sleepy eyes watched it, and even when I put my hand down, I couldn’t let go. Keisuke was still reading when I was falling asleep.  
  
 _Until today, you always put “Takahashi R” as your signature so I saved your name like that.  
  
You always know where to hit me.   
How can you be cruel when I’m with you and so sweet when we’re apart?_  
  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itsuki, Ryousuke, and Keisuke are all significant to Takumi and it’s interesting to see them all in one chapter. I was happy to finally have Keisuke back because I’ve been waiting. There were so many flashbacks with him but now we get to see him again.  
> I just feel like away from the races, there was so much going on in the background of Initial D. I had wanted to see how Itsuki really was one of the people who protected Takumi. Or how Keisuke thought once he had gone through all that training and did he change his mind about Kyouko? And also, I’d wanted to see if Ryousuke could really let go of racing. We saw everything from Takumi’s perspective so I wished there was more on the others (like Nakazato, Sayuki, Sudoh, Wataru and Kai) because each one was captivating in their own way.
> 
> But it seems like Takumi, having chosen Ryousuke and saying goodbye to Mika, is catching up in a way that Ryousuke’s still not ready for.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Yay, the next chapter is finally *drum rolls* the race!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	24. Cigarettes and sugar.

**Disclaimer – Initial D doesn’t belong to Yui, but I give this to you with lots of love.  
  
**  
I’m not sure if Keisuke slept because he soon got up for his morning run.  
  
All the while, my mind remained on the brink of sleeping, not falling into the depths and being fully aware of its routine. The tofu clock chimed at its usual hour and I wondered how dad thought of returning to his way of life eons ago.  
  
Faintly, the chords of a synthesized autoharp played beside me.   
Along with it, the phone shook in my hand and I blinked my eyes to find Keisuke at the living room rubbing his hair with a towel with one hand and drinking orange juice in the other. Through the open door, he glanced over at my direction as my thumb tapped on the screen, bringing the phone to my ear and closing my eyes again.  
  
“Ryousuke?” Because of how tired I was, I marveled at the fact my voice came out instead of a grunt.  
“Did I wake you?”  
“No. I’m still on the tofu clock.”   
A mild chuckle came from the other end. “That’s good.”  
“I got your message. Great job on finishing your special project.”  
 _  
You didn’t get any sleep either, did you?_  
  
“Thank you. I am very pleased that I got it done in time. I just hope that the recipient will be satisfied with it.”  
  
 _I wonder if it’s a present or something to sell…_  
  
“Is it really all right for me to check it before giving it away?”  
“I want to know your opinion about it, so of course.”  
“Okay.”  
“Listen, about yesterday…”  
“Let’s just forget about it.”  
“No, I wasn’t able to ignore it. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” He paused slightly. “Regardless of others’ opinions, I tend to examine every situation to its optimal capacity and act accordingly.”  
“I know you can be a control freak.” Shaking my head, I laughed quietly into the phone. “That’s why I’m not as mad as you think.”  
“I’m glad.”   
_  
Beyond the sternness, sometimes you can have your naïve, cute moments too.  
_  
“I called to let you know I’m leaving around 10 so I’ll arrive there in the afternoon. I’d like for you and Keisuke to come to the peak around 5 so that we can check both of your cars. Matsumoto, Fumihiro, Kenta, and Tomiguchi will be coming as well.”  
“I understand.”  
“Well then...”  
  
 _Does this unwavering voice sounds almost…reluctant? It makes me want to...  
_  
“Ryou?”  
He coughed.  
“I’m sure it won’t be a fluke this time.”  
“Oh~.” I could almost feel him smirking through the invisible phone line. “I’m looking forward to it then. I must now clean the coffee stain from my shirt though.”  
  
 _The thought of a stain on that spotless shirt…  
_  
I cleared my throat.   
_  
This was starting to become fun._  
  
“See you later.”  
“Of course.”  
  
When I opened my eyes, Keisuke was eating a piece of toast at the couch. He swallowed it and was about to comment when a rock song loudly interrupted his train of thought.  
“’Morning, Aniki…*sighs* Geez, it’s embarrassing to hear you like this…What do I mean?...You do know that Takumi is staying with me…Why do you sound pissed off…Well, maybe just a little…”  
  
Almost wanting to bury myself in the covers, I ignored their conversation, but I couldn’t help watching Keisuke walking back and forth, disconcerted at his brother’s morning call. I was so intrigued by how they acted together without the car factor between them.   
  
_Once you’re caught in either Takahashi’s sphere of influence, it’s easy to forget everything around you. By being able to change things to their advantage, they made it all look so easy.  
  
But now I know, that was part of their image too._  
  
“Aniki! I said I’m sorry already that I didn’t say anything! Don’t nag me like Tsugumi does…”  
 _  
Like a swan swimming frantically, they really have a lot more going on underneath to make everything work out._  
  
I held onto the hem of the blanket and got up from the bed to fold it. Going down to the bathroom downstairs, I brushed my teeth and got ready.  
When I got out and up the stairs, Keisuke was still on the phone. He pointed to his bed. This time, there was a pair of dark red cargo pants complete with a black leather belt.  
  
 _Why do the Takahashi brothers enjoy dressing me up?  
_  
I was about to say no when Keisuke shot me a look that clearly stated, “Non-negotiable.”  
  
Sitting on the couch in those pants and my gray t-shirt, I reached out to a plate of scrambled eggs and toast set aside for me. To my right, an exasperated Keisuke was still on the phone talking with his brother.  
  
I was halfway through my eggs when they said goodbye. Keisuke turned his body to my direction, but his eyes lingered on his phone. “He didn’t have to scold me that much.”  
“For what?”  
“Everything.”   
  
Obviously dodging the question, he put the phone in his pocket and pointed at the pants he gave me. “It looks pretty good.”  
“What are these for anyway?” I cut through the eggs with my fork.  
“Revenge.”  
I rose an eyebrow and bit into my toast.   
“Takumi, you have to mess with others sometimes. It’s part of the game.”  
Giving him a baffled look, I asked while rubbing away the crumbs from my mouth. “So this is for Ryousuke?”   
“Oh yeah~.”  
  
I noticed the sunlight over the open letter on the coffee table when he got up with his plate to head into the kitchen. “I’ve gotta go to work for half a day so I’ll be done at 2. Do you want to meet here or over there at the peak?”  
“I’ll just wait for you here.”  
  
Coming out, he got a bag from his room and headed downstairs. At the staircase, he said, “By the way, thanks a lot for giving me Kyouko’s letter.”  
The bashful way he spoke with his back facing me was unexpected.  
“No problem,” I answered back.  
“Oh and before I forget,” he yelled from downstairs. “I turned on my computer already. When you’re finished, go check the folder marked ‘Unsorted’.”  
He rushed out the creaking door and I heard the click of the lock.   
  
_I’d always seen you race to the brink of being impatient and aggressive, but off the track, you’re a lot more caring than I thought.  
  
You’re more alike than people think._  
  
The low and high reverberation of his rotary engine was soon gone.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
“Unsorted?”   
Unlike Ryousuke’s black laptop and the gray desktop, Keisuke’s laptop was customized with an aqua blue metallic shell and a silver keyboard.  
I sat down on the expensive looking steel chair and put my hand over the wireless mouse.   
  
Out of sleep mode, Kyouko's smiling profile in her red, white, and black race suit while holding the roof of her vehicle greeted me.   
  
_This wallpaper...It makes all my questions seem silly now._  
  
Clicking on ‘Unsorted’, what was I expecting?   
  
A list of pictures and articles appeared.  
“Takahashi Clinic is rated as one of the best in the prefecture!” The city newspaper article showed a picture of their parents smiling in front of the hospital with a toddler Ryousuke between them.  
  
“Takahashi Ryousuke wins science competition with bacterial colony!” An elementary school newsletter featured Ryousuke at 7th grade looking at a clear box in a lab coat and a pipet in his right hand.  
  
“Last shot in city tournament leads to national competition!” 5th grade, dark brown haired Keisuke jumps into the air from half court.  
  
The next is a magazine scan of an article Iketani had showed me at the gas station. It was about the “Rotary Brothers” and how their fame grew from Gunma to nationwide adoration.  
  
Clicking further, I started to just pick random files and saw rows of pictures…  
  
Ryousuke is wearing a Peter Pan collar shirt and blue shorts while smiling up to the camera and holding onto a drooling baby Keisuke.  
  
At age 4, Ryousuke is reading a cd book by a big stereo system in their living room as Keisuke at 2 passed by him in a little fire truck with wheels.  
  
Both of them were concentrating on art. Keisuke patted the playdough on the coffee table while Ryousuke was drawing with crayons.  
  
Standing in the street in front of their house, an eight-year-old Keisuke is throwing a baseball at his ten-year-old brother who is wearing a baseball glove, ready to catch it.  
  
  
In junior high, Keisuke stuck out his tongue in his basketball jersey and without the helmet, a stoic Ryousuke held up his bamboo sword in his kendo uniform…  
  
Click after click, it became addicting. After two hours of reading and clicking, I sat back into the chair and pushed myself away from the desk. Kyouko’s wallpaper stared back at me once more.   
  
While hearing the wind coming through the house, I stared at the ceiling and gripped onto the sides of the chair.  
  
 _They’d pulled me deeper into their gravitation.  
  
I’d sunk beyond the depths of the ocean that used to ensnare me. Going underneath the rocks of the abyss, layer upon layer, I was able to take a glimpse of each of their cores.   
The dark that had tugged at me was now revealing the light and heat of their will power and passion.  
  
For whatever reason, they’d chosen me to uncover what others could only fantasize about.  
_  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
 _  
I just want courage. That is all._  
  
Turning away from the shrine, I passed by the mini museum to get to the wooden doors that enclosed Mishima Taisha and went to my right. Crossing the street, I headed back to Keisuke’s place and into the Impreza to look for a supermarket. I ended up going to the side of the road of a local grocer, buying a good head of cabbage. Then, driving around, in the opposite direction, I found a supermarket and bought some flour, soba, nori, bonito, and sauce.  
  
When I got back, I held my hands out to try to visualize the Tsubaki Line.  
  
 _Tsubaki. The camellia.  
The last time, I was worried about Ryousuke because of that name. The camellia’s flower falls down as a whole. They used to say it was like cutting off the neck of a samurai’s head.  
For some reason, a chill ran through me and I couldn’t shake it off so that’s why I’d called Keisuke._  
  
Getting up, I began to cook and when I’d finished, I heard the FD from a distance. “Good timing.”  
  
Down below, there was the sound of children running in laughter until one began to cry. I looked out one of the windows to see what was happening below. A little boy with a small brown backpack was sitting down with skinned knees.   
Without thinking, Keisuke held him under his armpits and picked him up so that he could stand. His hand hovered the child’s knees. “Pain, go away!”  
The little boy’s friends gathered as Keisuke went to the FD, getting something from the compartment.   
“Bite your lip.”  
He took out an alcohol pad and put on some large band aids.   
“Thanks, Onii-san!”  
“Get on home, kid.”  
I watched in awe, but without missing a beat, he saw me at the window. “Hey!”  
 _  
No wonder she wrote to you._  
  
As soon as the door closed, Keisuke called out from the genkan, “Tadaima!”  
“Okaeri,” I replied. It wasn’t my house but all the same, I felt at ease.   
Seeing him through the wooden columns as he climbed up the stairs, I said, “It’s good you were there.”  
He shrugged off my compliment with a wave of his hand. “When you’re in a family of doctors, it becomes second nature to keep those kinds of things around.”   
  
“Man, it was brutal today.” He put his bag into his room and plopped himself on the couch. When he took a whiff of what was on the table, he cheered, “Okonomiyaki! All right!”  
  
Looking at the coffee table covered with salad, okonomiyaki, toppings, and tea, I began to think that maybe living by myself wouldn’t be so bad since I could cook a few things.   
  
I held up the plate towards my chest and sat down. “Hey, thanks for showing me that file.”  
Sitting cross-legged on the couch, he held his bowl of salad and began to dig in. “Since you’re the one who gave me the letter, I thought you’d understand. I’ve never shown anyone what’s on that computer. Not even Aniki.”  
I nodded my head while cutting the cabbage and soba into clean pieces. “I got really caught up just seeing how many pictures you managed to scan on there.”  
“You got some idea about how things have been, right? When we were younger, I tried so hard to do everything the best I could, but no matter what, no one ever saw me. I was only my brother’s younger sibling or my parent’s second future prodigy. By my sophomore year in high school, I reached my breaking point. I just got plain sick of it all.   
“As you can guess, I’m not patient like Aniki. I could handle the pressure, but not having any choice in anything. When I did choose, out of spite, I chose the things that were no good for me.  
“My brother had to pull me back over the line of common decency after my parents had washed their hands of me. It took a while until I could finally handle things. Even if things weren’t steady, I tried again, but this time, my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum: Her or racing.   
“Biding my time, I pushed myself more than I could. I really did my best to divide myself between a girl, racing, and classes. But it didn’t feel right. Like I couldn’t grasp onto anything no matter what. I couldn’t master driving if I had a girl. If I chose the girl, I’d always think about the track while I was with her. Behind all that, I was barely passing school.”  
  
He reached out for his plate of okonomiyaki and put some nori and bonito before continuing his story. I put my half-finished okonomiyaki on the coffee table and held the teacup in between my hands.  
  
“I’m different from you and Aniki. I can only concentrate on one thing at a time or everything suffers.”  
  
I took a sip and put the cup down so that I could eat again. He kept on eating though sometimes his eyes wouldn’t meet mine.  
  
“But until now, Kyouko’s trying to meet me halfway. At that time, for someone like me, I was mad that she’d be okay with just watching. I didn’t want her to fool herself into believing she’d be satisfied with that half-assed kind of love. The only thing we had in common was our cars so I thought she’d also grow tired of me too. But during those short moments that I saw her, she focused all of herself on me, and I couldn’t understand why. To tell the truth, I did get distracted and it frustrated me that you were getting better in the seconds that I was thinking of her.”  
 _  
Whenever we did our practice runs, when we were being briefed and looked at each other’s times, you and I were thinking the same thing…  
_  
“Most of the girls I liked used me to get to my brother. Even if they were with me, they were still admiring him on the side. I don’t know if you’ve ever felt that way, but it’s worse than hell.   
“Kyouko was the first who went all out for me. As a guy, I don’t like being chased. But even if I went after her, I thought she was expecting a lot from me. Of all people, I didn’t want to disappoint her.”  
  
My chest cringed a little in response.  
  
“Did she say anything in the letter?” Putting my chopsticks down on the plate, I pushed my back onto the seat and turned my head towards him again. He got another helping of okonomiyaki.  
  
“She wrote to say thank you. Because of you and me, Project D in fact, she wanted to push herself. When I took her in Aniki’s car and drove full throttle, she decided then what she wanted more than anything in the world. Kyouko didn’t want us to lose our connection.   
“So, you were right. She’d come into the pros because of me. To think she did all that to reach me…” He smiled with a hint of red on the top of his cheeks while lamenting, “But why’d she have to do it in Italy?”  
  
 _Iwase and you are like mirrors that can’t see each other because you’re reflecting upon another._  
  
“Why do you sound surprised over all this?”  
“Look at me. No one takes me seriously unless I race or show my violent side. From the very start, she really wanted to know who I truly was. I even attempted to make her hate me when we parted, but it seems like she saw right through that.” Keisuke placed his empty plate on the table. He folded his hands together and placed his chin on top of them, staring straight ahead at the black screen of the television. “When she looked at me with that kind of unforgiving resolution in her eyes, I really fell for her. But I didn’t know what to do with it so a part of me was scared. Even my parents didn’t treat me like that.”   
  
“You know, I broke up with my girlfriend before I came here. I told her the one who saw me as I am now was your brother. I admit that even now, I still find him a little intimidating, but I can accept that. But while we were on Project D, I felt like I was sinking into a black hole. Ability, the future, myself...everything was just a mess inside of me and I couldn’t talk about it to anyone.”  
His profile still faced me. “I never knew you felt that way. You never flinched or anything.”  
“Yeah, I didn’t know if I was worried, afraid, confident, or all of the above.”  
“Did you ever feel like we used you? I did feel guilty about it at first.”  
“No. I know the team was about quality, but once I got to know all of you, I felt like we were almost the same kind? It’s hard for me to make friends, so I was glad I didn’t feel isolated like I did sometimes at school. I could be a part of something that meant something to me.”  
  
“I have been with those guys for a while, so they’ve been my family.” He stood up and took our dishes to the kitchen, gesturing for me not to help. “She gave me that kind of vibe too, you know? I guess that girl really got under my skin because even though I told her to never watch me, I waited for her to show up anyway. I thought she’d break my stupid rule because of those strong tiger eyes of hers. But she’d kept her word and I thought that was that. She’d hated me for the rest of her life.   
“A week, a month, a year…I thought my feelings would go away and then, she appeared on tv. Before I knew it, I was touching the screen.”  
  
After clearing the table and wiping it off, he stood by the window and took out a cigarette. I laid out on the couch, listening to his voice, constrained and reflective.   
  
“So when I held Kyouko’s words in between my hands, I read them over and over again until my alarm went off. I’ve missed her so much.   
“When I broke it off, I told her I couldn’t live without cars since Aniki took me downhill on his FC. But now I know, I feel the same about her. Do you think she’ll forgive me for wanting to win her back?”  
  
I heard the rhythm of his breath, drawing air in and letting it out.  
  
“Keisuke, I think you forgot that the envelope was written with ‘Darling’ on the front, wasn’t it?”  
“When you hurt a woman like that, they never forget it.”   
  
_Mika crying while holding onto me when she lost the match in Hyogo…  
_  
“Will you give up just because of that?”  
  
 _Ryousuke typing in the van and I was unable to walk any closer..._  
  
“When she got out of the car, I pulled her to kiss me.” He went to the fridge to bring out a piece of coffee cake. Opening the box, he pushed it towards me and I sat up.   
He went back to the window and lit another cigarette. “It tasted like the coffee cake roll she’d ordered at the restaurant we ate at.”  
  
The creamy cake glistened against some of the light from the window.   
  
Keisuke pushed his arms onto the windowsill, lifting his head to watch some birds flying overhead. “I wanted to pretend that it didn’t affect me at all. Other girls have approached me since then, but I couldn’t lie to myself. No one compares to her.”  
  
 _There’s that split second where you know instinct entirely overrides logic. That this consuming desire will only come once in a lifetime…_  
  
“Yeah, I know that feeling, Keisuke-san.”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
It was still shining brilliantly as the trees swayed on our way to Yugawara.   
  
The four white vans were already parked and waiting for us at the peak of the mountain. Kenta, Matsumoto, Tomiguchi, and Fumihiro were in the middle of eating an early dinner of convenience store food when we came. They greeted us warmly when we walked up to them. However, even though I spotted the sheen of the alabaster-like FC parked next to van #1, its owner was nowhere to be found.  
  
They all finished eating and we separated into our distinctive groups. I followed Matsumoto-san as we walked to the Impreza with his tool box. Putting the box down next to one of the tires, he took out some gloves from his pocket. Then, he put them on and proceeded to lift the hood. I watched him, hoping to absorb something.  
“Ryousuke-san’s sleeping in van #3 if you’re wondering.”  
“Ah, no…I wasn’t thinking about it.”   
  
_Was I that obvious?_  
  
“Actually, I wanted to thank you again for already setting the Impreza the other day.”  
“It is no problem.”  
Once more, he checked the brake fluid and oil, but he didn’t let me off so easily. “What do you think about Ryousuke-san, Fujiwara?”  
  
 _How exactly? I can answer that in a million ways now.  
_  
“Even if we’ve disbanded, I really admire him.” I looked on as he began to move onto other parts. “It’s like he can take anything, mold it, and it becomes extraordinary.”  
“If you feel that way, do you think you can beat him today?”  
  
From left field, I hadn’t expected him to discuss about Ryousuke so familiarly.   
_  
Why were you pushing me?_  
  
My mouth answered before doubts crowded my mind, “Yes. I know it hasn’t been that long since we’ve been together as a team, but I’ve changed. I can’t just watch him and do nothing.”  
  
Leaning further in, his facial features remained serious. “You’ve grown, Fujiwara.”  
“Th-thank you.”  
“Did he ever tell you how we met?”  
“No.”  
“Yes, knowing him...”   
  
His tone became gentler, less formal as he explained, “I wasn’t good with websites and stuff, but one day, he showed up at my garage because of a friend’s recommendation. I used to go around helping people from all over because I wanted to learn as much as I could.   
“When I gathered enough money, I opened my own shop. And one afternoon, Ryousuke-san came. I wondered what he wanted repaired, but instead, he asked me if he could just watch, only saying he was a street racer.” Matsumoto got up and walked around checking the tires. “For a whole week, he came every single afternoon at the same time to watch me and somehow, I got the feeling I’d be friends with this person for a very long time. If I went with him, he would fully appreciate my skills.  
“After those seven days, he told me I would be his exclusive mechanic for any expedition, team, or venture he’d try in the future. But most of all, he said he wanted me to see my work at its best as it drove on the mountain passes.  
“At first, I thought he was joking, but looking at how he conducted himself, I knew he valued my work more than anyone I’d ever met.   
“His FC, your ‘86 and now the Impreza…” He hit his chest with his fist as he stood up. “They are my masterpieces and the source of my deepest triumphs so far.”  
“Matsumoto-san…”  
“I know it’s not my place to tell you what to do, but please trust him.” He went on his back to check underneath the car and I was glad that the Impreza was hiding my expression.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
When we finished, the sun had set and stars were starting to appear when I walked over to where Tomiguchi and Keisuke were. But I stopped far enough to eavesdrop and not intrude.  
  
“You’ve taken good care of the FD while I haven’t been with you.”  
“Are you making fun of me?”  
His mechanic laughed heartily. “I only took half a month off so I was pretty worried.”  
“Am I that-“  
“Reckless?” Tomiguchi finished, wiping away some of the sweat from his forehead with the back of his gloves.   
  
It was so different from how Matsumoto-san and I conversed.  
  
“I envy you, Fujiwara-san.” Kenta came up from behind me and we watched Keisuke and Tomiguchi as they bantered about their sessions on the circuit. “I wonder how long will it be until Keisuke-san will see me as his opponent too.”  
“Should the new captain of the Red Suns be saying that?”  
“I’ve been with them, but I know that it’ll be a while until I catch up. Keisuke-san…he knew how I felt but he still let me stay beside him. He said I had potential. That I had an aptitude for racing.” Kenta looked on and sighed deeply. “When he praised me, I thought I was going to die on the spot from happiness.”  
I reached out to squeeze his upper arm. “Kenta, if you ask me, I think Keisuke-san is always looking behind to see if you’re there.”  
Letting go of him, he sniffed. “You think so?”  
“Yeah. You know he’s always looking for an opponent.”  
With that, the sparkle in Kenta’s eyes came back as Keisuke waved over at us, but Fumihiro took me aside so only Kenta went with them.  
  
I took a stroll with Fumihiro and we got some drinks from van #2. We stood with our backs pushing against the back of it.  
We clinked our aluminum cans of coke together as a toast.   
  
He rose his arm and his palm went from left to right like an announcer in the crowd before opening his can to drink. “So many people came today.”  
“Yeah, I think this is the biggest crowd we’d ever had.”  
“I have to apologize for it though.”  
“Why?”  
“It wasn’t Ryousuke-san. It was me who promoted this. Well, that and Keisuke-san said if he was going to do this, he wanted to tell the whole world.”  
“I’m confused…” I flicked the tab of my soft drink.   
“You see…” Taking a big sip, he looked out at the crowds of people gathering in the crevices. “I may be the PR person, but I’m one of their greatest fans.”  
I blinked my eyes, turning my head to Fumihiro’s profile.   
  
“When Ryousuke-san was starting out, when he was a nobody, I was there at the first race. There was something about him that really inspired me every single time he raced. A year later, it came to the point that one night, I ran to him after one of his races. I pretended to be composed and said I would set up his upcoming matches. He wasn’t convinced until I’d gone and come back with a challenge. It took several weeks, but somewhere along the line, my determination won him over.  
“Soon, he asked me to be part of the Red Suns. During the day, I was a regular salary worker, but at night, I could become someone else. I wasn’t someone who just pushed buttons, but the rep for an important team.”  
  
The way his head watched the stars, I wanted to be his eyes, seeing everything that had unfolded between them.   
  
“I know it was supposed to be a personal affair, but I want everyone to see what only comes once in every few decades. I want them to know Ryousuke-san as the person he is now. How Keisuke has become his brother’s ideal.” Fumihiro looked in my direction. “How you are exceeding his imagination.”  
  
My heart quivered from the magnitude behind his words. Baring his whole life to me in these few sentences.   
_  
These people know so much I don’t and yet they don’t treat me like an outsider.  
  
While I was burying myself in self-rejections, they had thought so highly of me so that now, they told me what they really thought at this last race.  
They had really cared about me..._  
  
Looking up at the twinkling up above, I folded my hands.   
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
At around 8:00pm, I quietly tiptoed through van #3 to find Ryousuke sleeping at a makeshift bed laid out in the very back.   
I sat next to him and for a few minutes, I watched him sleep.   
  
With my hands pushing lightly on the mattress, I leaned forward. Ryousuke looked defenseless, but it wasn’t like that night when he had a fever. An air of relief surrounded him. There was a glow of a smile on his face instead of inhibited tenseness.   
  
_He’s now what we always thought of him to be.  
_  
I wanted to run my fingers through his hair, but put my hand back down. Instead, I pressed on the thin sheet over the mattress, bringing my face just enough to touch his lips with mine.  
  
 _I don’t just want to win you. I want to sear myself into your soul.  
_  
He didn’t stir at all.   
  
Getting out of the van right before they woke him up, I rushed over to the Impreza. Clearing my head, I visualized the course again and finished the final preparations until I found myself floating to the starting line.  
  
Pressing on the accelerator, I watched the expanse of black before us.  
 _  
From now on, your name is Ao. I don’t want to keep calling you ‘the Impreza’ anymore.  
And when I was in the ’86, I’d always put my hand on the dashboard. But now, I’ll touch it with both of my hands for you two. _  
  
Keisuke walked out to stand in the middle of the road.  
  
 _We aren’t strangers with a gap among us. Tonight, we were able to meet in the middle.  
_  
Just like on that night in Akina, Keisuke lifted his arms in the air. With a loud yell, only his voice penetrated into that darkness surrounding us.  
  
“5,   
  
Turning my head to look at Ryousuke,  
  
4,   
  
my tongue slid over my upper lip and then licked the lower one.  
  
3,  
  
I then concentrated intensely at the road before me.  
  
2,   
_  
When we leave this line, I’ll never turn back to the person I was before._  
  
1,   
  
I could still taste the remnants of the person I valued more than my life.   
  
GO~!”  
  
The taste of cigarettes and sugar.  
  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was typing along, I was almost starting to miss this fic because it’s almost ending. All the more, my senses kept on saying “Savor this!” Then, it became longer and longer.  
> Initial D is like a washing machine, tossing me around with all these emotions, mixed up and unlabeled even if they’re in the same shades of whites and colors.
> 
> Keisuke! T_________T Fourth stage episode 18 always makes me sad. But being the way Keisuke is, I never thought he’d let Kyouko truly go. I always wanted them together. I admit I'm a sucker for this kind of romance.
> 
> And yea~, we saw more of the Project D members! I was very curious how that one would play out actually. They were chosen for a reason, and so I’d waited if there would ever be a backstory. Ah, Shigeno-sensei, I’d pay for a Red Suns prequel~, but you said if you made another racing story, it’d be at the circuit. *more tears*
> 
> Thank you for reading so far and hope you’re enjoying! I know I am. :)
> 
> Love always,  
> Yui


	25. The Equal Line.

**Disclaimer – Initial D is the property of Shuuichi Shigeno.  
  
**  
The FC’s sending subdued warnings. I’m already in danger.  
  
 _Many battles have occurred between our first and last…  
Yet only you can still make me feel like my fingers have never touched a car._  
  
A little to the right and to the left, it resembles the peak of Akina, but I was too conscious of Ryousuke’s presence beside me. The heat courses through my body and it spills into a single coherent question: Chaser or pursued?   
  
All the while, traces of desperation that once spurred me to run away were slowly being replaced by something more endurable.  
  
 _I have the courage to trust myself. So will you let me hunt you, Ryou?_  
  
Pressing the accelerator to the floor, the tires screeched and when we hit the first corner, the red of his lights vanished down the small slope. When I meet them again, he’s pulling away.   
_  
You’re no longer stalling for weaknesses._  
  
A flicker of my father comes to mind. He’s laughing the first time he passed me on Akina.   
But instead of easing the tension on the accelerator after being crushed by my only advantage, my heart was beating faster to a hazardous rhythm. I smiled at Ryousuke’s demure provocation.  
 _  
I want this man. So much so, I want him to break for me.  
  
This person who has been calculating to the last millimeter ever since I’ve stepped across his path, he knows EVERYTHING I’ll try.   
  
But that’s exactly why you want to hold me down…  
I will never make it easy for you.   
  
That 0.01 percent is my advantage: Unpredictability._  
  
We enter the second zone and again, a right, left, right, and a wide turn to the left…  
  
I brake later and exit faster, so this time, he was chasing me. My hands grabbed onto the steering wheel even tighter than before as I caught glimpses of him in my rearview mirror. The blinding lights behind me constantly reminded me that only one mistake was all it took to lose everything.  
  
Right, left…  
To our right side, it was like Akagi’s expanse of grass below the observatory. And there were people behind the safety road barriers, though I couldn’t ever hear them.   
_  
I am always trying to get ahead of you, but it sometimes seems so hopeless._  
  
Like before, the pressure from behind intensified, ready to pulverize all I’ve been striving for.   
  
_You’re doing it all over again…Those mental puzzles that keep saying: Will you ever go ahead? Don’t you want to lead the way?  
You do know I’m just allowing you to do as you please because I’m biding my time until I’ll make you kneel for mercy? _  
  
We’re rushing through the halfway mark of the course. The lights brush over the area where there’s no railing on the right…  
  
 _This is insane…  
  
And I know you’re enjoying this._  
  
Turning a full left, again, I watched as the FC flies ahead to overtake me.   
  
“Shit~!” I gulped as he was clawing on all the faults I had yet to comprehend, dragging my whole being invisibly against the rocky ground in full speed.   
  
“AM I STILL THIS WEAK?!”   
  
My voice drowned out with the engine and the tires squealed while squeezing through the next wide right turn. My throbbing hands press on the steering wheel as if they’d give me some leeway. Pushing in one centimeter at a time as he wove in and out of view, I refused to be left behind even as he blocked me from moving forward.  
  
The closer I came to finding the true potential below Ryousuke’s passionate nature, my heart was being devoured.  
  
 _I willingly want to be destroyed for this crazy love.  
  
So how can I win you over, Ryousuke? When will you be satisfied with this race?  
  
I know a trillion years have passed since your roses were delivered into my hands. That we are not those people anymore. But even now, it seems you know more about me than I about you.  
  
Once and for all, I want to have the upper hand!_  
  
My aching hands pounded in sync with the rest of my skin. I held onto the gear shift, right wrist over left wrist, pushing on the clutch...  
 _  
This is everything I’ve got. Ao and myself are running ragged to the last extent…_  
  
Swerving from heartbeat to heartbeat, I was approaching the FC and ready to overtake it, not wavering as I did before. But when the road split in half, I was being torn apart.   
  
_NO~!_  
  
The inside line that I was supposed to take was locked in so I’d lost a second!   
  
_It’s almost the end! Ao, please help me…I must reach this person!_  
  
There it was…the closest to a straightaway was coming up ahead. It was my last hope.   
  
I didn’t bother to look at the speedometer, going past the point where even I didn’t know if I could survive…  
  
Right wide turn, and then a left one…  
Everything became a single line of light, as if my soul was taking over.  
  
 _I don’t have to worry…don’t have to think…  
Just GO._  
  
“TURN DAMN IT~!” My voice screamed as my eyes glanced at the finish line.  
  
 _This isn’t the fastest one for a time attack. I’ve discovered MY own line._  
  
In that split second, the nose of the Impreza blocked the white FC while taking the outside line…  
  
And Ao didn’t spin out of control.  
  
When Ryousuke stops exactly at the finish, I park in front of him so that we are facing one another.  
  
“Hah…hah…”   
I was finally conscious that I was breathing hard with Ao’s engine running. Taking my hands away from the steering wheel, they feel heavy and almost dead. Pressing myself against the headrest, my eyes closed within the blurriness of Ryousuke’s carnivorous gaze.   
  
My hand patted the leather seat affectionately. “We did it, Ao.”  
  
 _The engine didn’t blow up…That’s right. The ’86 isn’t here…_  
  
Tears well up in my eyes.   
  
_It’s an almost perfect moment._  
  
When I open my eyes, I saw the members of our team and the immense crowd. Their roaring blended together as I put my hands on the dashboard to make sure it was all real.  
 _  
This is always my favorite part. It’s enough reason for me to carry on._  
  
My body was at the tip of having a breakdown, but my soul was freed of its own restraints.   
  
For now, this was the best I could have done. I had found the reason why I’ve raced, and why I fought so hard.  
  
I held my heart and smiled.  
  
Unlocking the door, I stepped out. Kenta and Keisuke, who were standing next to the FC, cheered with their arms in the air. But on the other side of the FC, Ryousuke’s flustered face looked picturesque. The beam of my headlights surrounded him and his head studied the stars with his eyes half closed and his teeth showing in a sweet grin.  
 _  
To see this is a reward unlike any other._  
  
“Takumi!”  
I could recognize that voice anywhere, but in a moment of bliss, it could have been an illusion. Squeezing through the multitude of people, Natsuki ran over while waving at me. I thought I was still dreaming as she held my warm arms with her cool hands.   
  
_You’re still as vivacious as I’ve always kept you in my memories. Suddenly, I’m back to the time you walked past me in the soccer club with that killer smile…_  
  
“Natsuki?”  
  
She tilted her head to one side. The smile that always greeted me in school still could pinch me whichever way it wanted.   
  
_It must be true what they say about first love, but I thought you’d forgotten about me. It’s kind of reassuring from the way your eyes are almost winking with a clear “No, I haven’t”._  
  
“Why are you here?”  
“That guy is a fan of Sidewinder.” She pointed her thumb in back of her. A neat guy with glasses in a blue and white plaid shirt began to blush. Tiptoeing and covering her mouth, she whispered with a wink, “I guess old habits die hard, don’t they?”  
My mouth opened a bit. “He looks like someone who can really take care of you.”  
“He chased after me even though he knew he wasn’t my type, but I like him a lot now.”  
“I’m glad you’re doing great.”  
“You too. You’re still the same, but somehow different too. You’ve definitely found what you wanted, haven’t you?” Natsuki took a step away to glance over me from head to toe. “I’m so happy you found your dream. I always believed you would.”  
  
 _Deep inside, I’ve always had a feeling we would meet one last time. This is my only chance…  
_  
I pulled her right hand. “I wanted to always tell you something.”  
“Yes?”  
Holding it firmly, my thumb rubbed against her palm. “Thanks for coming to that one race.”  
“What? That’s so long ago.” She gestured politely to indicate it wasn’t a big deal.   
“And for inviting me to the beach.” I held onto her left hand.  
“You don’t have to thank me for something so small.”  
I shook my head, now gripping onto her hands bravely for all the things I regretted never saying. “You don’t understand. That battle you came to? I only raced for a full tank of gasoline because of you, Natsuki. I wouldn’t have found my dream without you.”  
“You…”   
  
Once more, there was that indescribable charming look that had drawn me towards her when she was the manager of the club. It was much prettier, vibrant as a diamond.  
  
“Hey you. Don’t make me regret leaving Gunma.” She wiped away a tear from her eye.   
  
I let go and this time, we didn’t even say goodbye. She nodded her head and left. We both knew that this would be the last time we’d ever meet.  
  
“Takumi.”  
The tall figure behind me put his hand over my left wrist, pulling me gently. Everyone gave us space as he led me to the van with all his data, closing the door as we sat on the mattress.   
  
_Why are they giving us privacy? Shouldn’t we be discussing this outside?  
Are Kenta and Keisuke standing outside of van #3 and guarding it?   
  
What’s going on?_  
  
“Well…” Ryousuke started, covering his Adam’s apple while clearing his throat.  
I was waiting for his wordy explanation, the one where he would point out all the plusses and minuses of our “immediate battle”. Getting ready for the euphoria to wear off so that my brain could process his analysis, I almost coughed when he pulled on my collar.  
  
Looking into his eyes, I could see he was only a man.   
  
His unreasonable, reserved jealousy was startling, making me think had he always been this way? It was endearing to say the least.   
_  
It’s good to make you sweat sometimes, huh, leader?_  
  
This time, I pretended not to know as he kissed me until my knuckles turned white from gripping onto the sides of his shirt. My mind went blank, absorbed in his pace. About to pass out, I gasped for air when he pulled away, reaching out to wipe his thumb on my lips and sucking on it afterwards. Reaching into his back pocket for a handkerchief, he patted the sides of his mouth.   
Without a word, he left to make the adjustments for the next round.   
  
_I’d won him yet why do I feel as if I have more to conquer?_  
  
I sat in the van completely stirred and dumbstruck.  
 **  
*/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
The crowd cheered and the energy around the mountain appeared limitless as we all waited for the FC to cool down enough to be reset for its uphill battle against its sibling.  
  
“I’ve made all the specs exactly as the FD’s.” Matsumoto later announced as he pushed the hood down. From across the parking lot, standing in front of the open doors of van #4, Tomiguchi gave a thumbs up from his side.  
  
So at a quarter to 1am, the FD was lining up next to the FC on the starting line at the bottom of the mountain.   
With the window down, I leaned through the passenger’s side. Crazily, Ryousuke reached out his hand to touch my forearm. “I want you here.”  
“But it will change the handling-“  
His head shook from side to side. “Don’t you think I already prepared for that?”  
“But…”  
  
 _This is your time with Keisuke.  
_  
“Please.”  
Sighing, I opened the door and slipped into the seat. His glance made me speechless all over again. He pulled my hand, intertwining my fingers with his.   
_  
Was I imagining it, or did they seem rougher than the last time he held my hand?  
_  
I could feel Keisuke’s stare at the back of my head.   
  
“I’m sure Kei will be incensed by this alone.”  
  
 _You love torturing him on purpose, don’t you?_  
  
“You’re provoking him?”  
“Of course.”  
“When he was little, his chubby cheeks would turn so red and he’d have these big tears. Quite adorable. I’ve missed it.”   
  
All this was said in a sensible tone that was anything but.  
  
“You’re so…”   
_Terrible? Awful? Sadistic? I can’t even find the proper word right now._  
  
“Remember,” he said while flashing me a wicked smile, “before there was a Takumi, there was a Kei.”  
“And what do you mean by that?”  
He shrugged his shoulders with sealed lips.  
“Ryousuke…”   
  
I turned away, seeing half of Keisuke’s uncompromising expression.  
  
Unwinding our hands, Ryousuke positioned his hands on the steering wheel as Kenta stood before the three of us with a look of regard that was unlike any other. Grinning proudly as the Red Suns’ captain, he lifted his chin and hand to the starry sky.  
He shouted the countdown while I raised the window.  
  
Like a mystical chant, the numbers revealed something. The smug face transformed to one of dogged persistence.  
  
“GO~!”  
  
And we were off before I caught my breath.   
  
Even though I was aware of it, seeing it in action was a whole new story.   
Time had never been so deceitful as it was now. Nearly three hours earlier, I was battling the very car I was sitting inside of. Now, through the legendary FC’s windshield, I observed these two brothers not as team partners, but as competitors.  
  
The same course I’d memorized has changed into a jungle, a twin of something I knew but was distinct all on its own.   
  
_After all, the same road can’t be gone through twice._  
  
Passing the curve where I’d overtaken Ryousuke, I turned my head to regard the person driving in a different light. The severity in Ryousuke’s eyes took my breath away.  
  
 _Was this why Keisuke looked lonely that time?_  
  
The more I saw, everything passing us became semitransparent. They wanted me to witness what was between them.   
  
_Their truth could only be found here._  
  
Weaving together from side to side, the headlights showed the graceful curves of Tsubaki. But gradually, the self-control that Ryousuke was famous for was disintegrating, secretly landing inside the cracks of this tar surface. His fingers clenched onto the gear shift as he was biting his lip. In front of him, Keisuke was leading him on. The back of the FD sashayed in testing him to come closer than the space permitted.  
  
Chasing from behind, Keisuke’s taillights were constantly blinding us. Never relenting yet tempting in timed near-misses.  
  
 _Where was the racer that lured the ghost of Akina? The Keisuke now was relishing all the rewards of his training, enticed by the mirage he’d always extended his hands out to grab for._  
  
Without rhyme or reason, Ryousuke did something that shattered his image all together. In the next set of wide turns, he alternated between the outside and inside lines. Even I couldn’t predict what he wanted to do.  
  
From Keisuke’s building impatience, the coordinated capricious act seemed to rattle him, but even more than this, he reveled in exhilaration.   
I could also feel Ryousuke’s contentedness come out through his maneuvers.   
  
_Seeing them together was like art in motion.  
  
This beautiful person who was like glass. Hard enough to take the pressure, thin enough to break. The tough one ahead of us, a razor in the dark, never breaking against the pressure and slashing through everything single-mindedly._  
  
Twisting from right to left to right…  
  
 _Without filters, I’m viewing everything as it exists.  
  
They know that on some level, the concealed madness that resides in their universe…  
…it won’t hurt me._  
  
Unlike the two of us, Keisuke laughed at all of his personal dangers, coaxing his older brother to keep tipping him towards hell. Ryousuke, in turn, burned his impression onto others like frostbite, composed enough not to melt but chipping away steadily at the skin.  
  
We were passing through the long switchback when I couldn’t recognize the White Comet. When I watched Ryousuke’s face again, I couldn’t help but feel the person Keisuke had showed me no longer existed. Instead, here was someone who would no longer risk his life aimlessly.  
 _  
So that’s it. It wasn’t to tease Keisuke at all, or at least that wasn’t all of it. I’m here as proof that you didn’t hold yourself back.  
  
That you’re racing us on equal footing._  
  
Ryousuke began to sweat and took long breaths, his eyes processing and reacting simultaneously, a second or two of real time lag. It was amazing how his mind adjusted everything minutely.  
  
Staring outside, the FD itself was giggling in ecstasy. Its taillights were gone in seconds, cornering and reappearing with those pianist fingers extending and contracting when Ryousuke’s wrists went over one another while turning. In the tidbits of light, I saw the dents, cuts, and blisters.  
  
 _Was this the result of that special project? Why could he hurt himself voluntarily like that?_  
  
“Oh,” he commented in subtle delight.   
  
As I looked out my window, the FC was passing the FD. And I saw Keisuke’s surprise as he opened his mouth, loving every part of this run.  
  
Ryousuke’s profile made my heart temporarily stop.  
  
 _There it was. That gaze that said he wouldn’t be destroyed.  
  
Was this how you looked when you were chasing me? I’m sure if I had seen this from the very start, it would have been love at first sight…  
_  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
“YESSSSSSSS~! I DID IT~!”  
  
When I was coming out of the car, Keisuke ran towards his older brother. The yellow door had barely clicked shut before Keisuke reached out to hug Ryousuke. Ryousuke stood in his place, ready for the impact. Not caring about what other people thought, Keisuke, forgetting that he was in his 20’s, jumped into his brother’s arms like a 5-year-old, smiling in a way only a child knew and one whose playmate had returned.  
  
“Aniki, that was SO AWESOME!” Keisuke snuggled against Ryousuke, who was holding onto his waist and grinning at him in joy.   
  
This special moment showed how much they loved and respected one another, that even their happiness needed to be synchronized. I envied the fact that I couldn’t exactly do that with the ’86.   
I walked to Ao so that I could place my hand on his hood.   
  
But in the next few seconds, Ryousuke searched for me and held out his open arm towards me.  
  
 _Are you really carrying Keisuke with one arm???_  
  
When I stood next to him, he circled his hand around my waist firmly.  
  
I heard a lot of wild screaming as Kenta took a picture of us on his phone.  
  
“Kei, are you crying?” Ryousuke whispered with that hint of brotherly sarcasm.  
“No, I’m not! I didn’t blink while I was driving because I was too excited and concentrating a lot.”  
“Right…” Ryousuke winked at him with a devilish grin. “Like the time you cried when your-“  
“Don’t you dare say it, Aniki!”  
He still wouldn’t put Keisuke down, and we all laughed at one another.  
  
Matsumoto was touching the top of the FC as Kenta and Tomiguchi hi-fived. Fumihiro rose his arms into the air with his fists pointing to the sky. I had never heard him shout like he did right now.  
  
And my eyes turned back to the two people who had widened the world for me. Ryousuke’s hands were still holding Keisuke and me in between them.  
  
Keisuke’s face when his brother took him seriously,  
that unparalleled elation.  
  
The shadows no longer pursued the White Comet and he was reborn.  
  
I looked into my red hands and was proud to come to know who “Takumi” really was.   
  
Our thoughts, their image of me and my own, as mine of them, finally crossed over.  
  
I’d made it over the Equal Line.  
  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs in content* I cannot tell you how happy this chapter made me.
> 
> In all these years, I’ve admired Natsuki’s courage to change. It’s something hard to do and I think if it weren’t someone like her, Takumi really wouldn’t have understood anything. She was pulling him to see himself and now that he has, they are on equal footing, both working backwards.
> 
> I’m sorry to Takumi and Ryousuke for the moment, but…*fangirl squeals~!* KEISUKE! You’re so cute! The punk with a heart of gold getting embarrassed and all happy because he could finally race with his Aniki. (I cannot tell you how much I wanted to see this happen~! *cough cough cough*) There was this image in my head where he was smiling in a way that I’d never seen. So, when I thought about how could that happen, it must be to surpass his older brother, who had been teaching him all along that he saw him as the better driver all along.  
> Aww…these two siblings always wring my heart out because they are so adorable~! Whether I’m writing them as rivals, brothers, or lovers, they just melt into my heart like eating really good chocolate. Yum~!
> 
> Tsubaki line. T__________T I got a headache visualizing this track over and over. But, I still wanna play more ID! XD
> 
> *pompom cheering* And next chapter, (yay yay yay~! ) we are finally going to see the secret project~! I’ve been waiting for this one!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	26. More than anything.

**Disclaimer – The Initial D anime and manga are the property of Shigeno-sensei. I just love these characters to write about them.  
  
**

As the multitude of people went their separate ways, the near silence that remained seemed almost ghostly. Only the clinking around the parking lot as we were packing could be heard.  
  
Keisuke held his hand up in front of him while explaining to Kenta how he felt going uphill when Ryousuke crossed the parking lot. I wasn’t able to see what he was doing when Shinji appeared in front of me while I was arranging things in the van with Matsumoto.  
“Oh, hi Inui.” Instantly, I remembered his note to me and immediately felt shy.  
“Hello Fujiwara-san.” With a wide grin, he tilted his head bashfully.  
“I got your note from Wataru. Thank you for writing to me.”  
“I…” he started and then closed his mouth as the red appeared over his cheeks.  
“Yes?”  
“I saw it again. The wings came out though they weren’t on the same car.”  
“Really?”  
  
_Maybe the ’86 was here after all._  
  
“Yeah, I came to see if they’d come out again. And they did.”  
I reached out my hand to mess up his hair before he noticed how his words resonated inside me and comforted my heart. “So I guess we’re doing a re-match sometime?”  
Shinji bowed enthusiastically. His whole face was beaming, showing how much he loved racing now and that I’d acknowledged him. “Please wait for me!”  
I nodded my head. “Of course.”  
“Will you race me on the mountain when that time comes?”  
“I promise.”  
He waved as he ran back to talk to Hojo Go.  
  
My eyes wandered off to the distance as soon as I closed the doors of the van. Matsumoto was drinking bottled water while talking to Fumihiro as Tomiguchi fixed his hair tie when Keisuke pulled on it. I went over to sit on the Impreza and put my hands to each of my sides, leaning back. In the corner of my eye, Ryousuke shook hands with an older man. He had short, wavy hair and was quite handsome in a rugged sort of way, but seemed to be surrounded by an atmosphere of solemnness.  
  
_Maybe he was probably the person who allowed us to race in their territory? But I’d never seen him before.  
_  
Giving me a brief glance over, the man then left with Hojo Go. Shinji was right behind them by the time that Ryousuke walked over to where I was.  
  
“Who was that?”  
“My sempai. The one who taught me about mountain racing.” He touched the top of my head, but as if it were by accident, his fingers brushed against my cheek before we walked over to the rest of our group for him to give us our last instructions.  
Honestly, I wasn’t paying attention at all though.  
  
All these years, especially these two weeks had led to this very moment and yet I felt incredibly lonely. I tried to hide my greediness and keep my feelings to myself.  
  
_I wanted a little more time with you, but…is this really it?_  
  
A part of me felt like I was bleeding. It hurt to come to realize that there was nothing more after this.  
  
_I had won him, but where would it go? Did that tiny amount of glory still lead to nothing?  
_  
When I turned away to walk towards Ao, I pretended to go in stride, but I was frowning. Inside I was quickly trying to hide in the darkness so that I could grieve where no one else could see me.  
**  
*/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
We all went over to Keisuke’s house for an after party and rest, but Ryousuke didn’t join us. My stomach sank as we were talking and at one point, I offered to get more food from the convenience store so that I could think and look at my phone.  
Closing the front door after me, I lifted up my phone to my face and my eyebrows rose. Mika had texted me.  
_  
Hi Takumi,  
  
You probably didn’t expect me to write, huh? Well, Tomoko saw where you were racing and I asked her to take me along.  
I know I’ve ridden with you before, but seeing you, your leader and his brother as you passed by us, even though I don’t understand cars, there is something special that the three of you share.  
Seeing how your leader drove both ways, I get now why you respect him so much. So when you took that photo together, from the way he looked at you, I could tell he’d really taken care of you more than I think you realize.  
  
Even though you were busy, at least you tried to see my tournaments. And now I regret not coming to see you. I think there was a part of me that was afraid.  
  
I’m glad I came this time. Thank you again and take care.  
  
Goodbye,  
Mika_  
  
When the screen became dimmer, the door opened and Keisuke reached out his hand to my shoulder. “Hey, I’m glad I caught you.”  
“Any extra orders?”  
“This.” He gave me a piece of paper with Ryousuke’s address on it. It was the cabin where Ryousuke was staying. “I know you want to go.”  
“He probably doesn’t want to be bothered.”  
Scoffing at the idea, he took his hand away from my shoulder and placed both of his hands on his hips. “If I know anything, he’s on a high from all this.”  
“Huh?”  
“Forget what I said.” Taking the paper from my hands, Keisuke placed it into my pocket. “There.”  
Stunned, I didn’t know if I should've been honest or discreet.  
“You want to see him. It’s written all over your face.” Then, he brought out his phone and showed me the long email message marked “Aniki”.  
  
_The guy didn’t even bother to email me?_  
  
“Read.”  
I skimmed to see it was all about Keisuke and me, comparing our technique with ‘corrections’. There were many praises about how much we’d improved since the first time we raced together.  
“He didn’t give me those notes.”  
“Just what did you do in the van then? I mean he said he wanted privacy to talk about this.”  
I blinked at him, recalling the kiss that made it hard for me to stand up.  
“Never mind. Just go. Think of it as your older brother talking to you.” He flicked my forehead. “I’m passing the baton.”  
I started to laugh. “But what about the stuff from the conven-“  
“Why did you think I came out?” He pointed to his head. “Comes in handy once in a while.”  
“Okay, I guess I’m going ‘Onii-san’.”  
He pushed me to the car with an embarrassed, “Shut up and leave already!”  
“Thank you, Keisuke.”  
“See you soon.”  
“Same here.”  
  
***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
Somewhere in between the fog, I was able to go up the tranquil roads of Hakone, passing by Ashinoko Lake. Going up further on the slope, it was getting harder and harder to discern the road as the number of trees grew thicker. I found the address after turning twice into small roads even with an electronic navigator.  
The cabin was small, unlike the one we’d rented. There was a hint of light coming from the closed curtains.  
Calling his number, he picked it up. “Yes, Takumi?”  
“Would you mind opening the door?”  
Almost 4am, he opened the door with perfect composure. Standing at the doorway, the table behind him was full of papers with the ever present laptop at the corner of it.  
“Couldn’t you take a break?” I joked when I came in.  
  
He went over to boil some water while I looked around at the studio type of house. A single desk separated two twin beds. The table was in the middle, facing a kitchenette. The small electric stove made a humming noise.  
It was far from the large home he had in Gunma, but for some reason, he looked more relaxed.  
  
“Do you take sugar or milk?”  
“Just milk.”  
Ryousuke handed me a brown coffee mug and sat down across me. Like with the teacup, he held his white mug with both of his hands.  
  
_I’m curious about how you take your coffee._  
  
“Your tofu clock is impeccable.” He grinned slightly as he brought it to his lips.  
“I can’t believe you’re working.” Taking a sip of mine, it was bitter, but I liked it. “You should rest.”  
“I have a lot of backlogged paperwork. It piled up while I was on vacation.”  
Under the lamplight, I eyed his hands. I could clearly see the weight of all the damage they took. “Your hands are all blistered. Is this because of your special project?”  
“Yes.”  
Without being conscious of it, I found myself still staring. When I looked up at him, I honestly blurted out, “Looks like you almost broke them.”  
Without wavering, his eyes stared directly into mine while lifting up the mug. “It would have been worth it.”  
I was startled by the force of his words.  
  
_For a moment, my heart ached. I was jealous of the person who would receive this ‘project’.  
Maybe I shouldn’t have offered to help after all…_  
  
“You must be here for the key. I’ll give it to you now.” He went to his computer bag and opened a small velcro pocket. “I was going to drop by tomorrow morning at Kei’s house.”  
“I’m not here for the key.” His back was still facing me as I pushed my seat out and stood up. “I’m here for you.”  
“I see…” He still wouldn’t turn around and pushed his hands onto the desk.  
“You said I’ll change once the world had me.” Taking a step forward, I held my arms out. “Well, the world can wait a little longer.”  
  
Placing my hands over his, I pressed my forehead against his back. I didn’t care if he could feel that I was slightly trembling or that my heart was going crazy like it was going down Tsubaki.  
_  
What am I doing? I don’t know anything about seducing this man…  
_  
From out of nowhere, his mother’s words whispered into my ears, _“What can you possibly offer him?”_  
  
My fingers fell into the spaces in between his.  
  
“What are you doing, Takumi?”  
  
The sudden coldness in his voice was like my wake-up call, gently grating on my nerves to snap them back into reason.  
  
_Had I been wrong all this time? What was that speech at the beach? Going to the hotel with your parents? Making out in the rain?  
  
This entire race?_  
  
“I refuse to let go, Ryousuke.” The more I pushed onto his hands with mine, entwining our fingers against the desk. My cheek pressed against his back, which was heating up in the few seconds I’d touched him. The complete opposite of his body, his tone was frigid, almost unfeeling like the first time he showed up with his brother on Akina.  
“It’s better if you leave, Takumi.”  
“Why?” My voice couldn’t hide the hurt behind my question. I felt so helpless against him.  
  
All the while, his hands pulsed in the same beat to mine.  
  
“If you stay here, I won’t ever let them have you.”  
  
Contradicting all that he was saying, Ryousuke brought up my left hand slowly under his shirt, my palm against his chest. His heart pounded incessantly against my skin with his hand tenderly cupping over it. “I don’t want you to give up your future if you come with me.”  
“Why do you think like that?”  
  
_In a way, I felt defeated. I still hadn’t gotten through to you, have I?_  
  
I was starting to panic as sensibility seeped into the cracks beneath my boldness. Not knowing which way to look in the room, I ended up shutting my eyes, hearing nothing but his voice.  
  
Bringing up my right hand, he wrapped our hands over his stomach so that I was hugging him from behind.  
“I challenged you and then, I created our team. After some time, I asked you to race me one more time. This was all from my selfishness.  
“I know I pushed all of my feelings onto you, but this is all I have. This is all I am.”  
  
Taking a deep breath and trying to bridge even the small gap between our bodies, he gripped onto my hands even more, almost whispering, “So far, I have crushed anyone who could have taken you away from me. But once you go, there’s nothing more I can do. I can’t reach you from this time on.”  
  
_This is my limit as a racer. I can’t do any better than this. With all your pride, this is what you can’t say aloud.  
  
You’ve emptied yourself out.  
  
Why did you ever give yourself to someone like me, Ryousuke?_  
  
I opened my eyes, and I was staring into the wooden wall. The reality of winning him meant suffering to grasp onto a Ryousuke that no one knew.  
  
The heaviness made me just focus on our breathing and warmth. The smell of wood and his scent mixed inside the air.  
  
Reluctantly, he unwrapped his arms from me and turned around. As calm as his voice had been, even when he was pushing me away, once again, I saw that lonely face filled with tears. He sat on the desk and pulled my lower back, pushing me forward so that I could feel his knees on either side of me.  
We looked at one another eye-to-eye.  
  
“More than anything, I want you to be with me. Even if you outgrow me and leave someday, stay with me until then.”  
  
If someone saw this, they would have never believed it. Even as I’m crying inside, I didn’t quite understand why this great person had all these doubts.  
  
_Why do you feel unworthy?_  
  
I simply countered, “Who do you think I race for anyway, Ryou?”  
  
_If you aren’t with me, there is no point in racing. I don’t want that future._  
  
With my left hand, I pulled his neck so that his face would lower towards mine. Even as our tongues touched, it was like we both had a fever.  
  
Taking my breath away, he managed to exchange our positions, pulling me to sit on the desk and holding my waist under my shirt as I nervously fumbled with his black tie. He chuckled a little at how I fought with his clothing and then kissed my mouth even deeper while slipping one hand to unbuckle my belt.  
My fingers struggled to undo his buttons as he leaned back to pull away from our messy kiss. His head moved lower. I winced as his lips sucked at my nipples through my t-shirt. My whole body shivered, grabbing onto his baby blue blouse.  
  
Kissing me on the lips again, he lifted me up and carried me to the bed on my left. Slipping his blouse to the floor, I took off my shirt. He began to lick my ear down to my shoulders while holding me so that I could lie on the bed. My feet were still touching the floor, legs halfway out while his knees touched my hips.  
Ryousuke leaned over me, stopping to touch my hair. His thumb went over my lips as he stared at me as if I’d disappear suddenly.  
_  
No matter what I do, why won’t you listen? Why are you so sure I’d abandon you?_  
  
“I won’t leave you.”  
  
But it was as if he didn’t hear me. His hand pulled down the zipper of my pants while his tongue was leaving a saliva trail in the middle of my chest. By the time he was sucking on the skin over my stomach, he’d managed to pull my boxers and pants to my knees and find his way off the bed and to the floor.  
Kneading my inner thighs, I took a long drawn out breath, seeing the top of his head when I briefly raised my neck. Suddenly, my chest convulsed upwards as his tongue began to slowly kiss my thighs while one hand slowly rubbed in between my legs.  
  
His phone began to vibrate and with his free hand, he pulled it out of his pocket, briefly swiping it to answer the call. Keisuke’s voice came from the speakerphone.  
“Hey Aniki.”  
I covered my mouth with my left hand, lifting myself up with the other one.  
“Did you get my present yet?”  
“Hmm?”  
I stared at Ryousuke who hand was stroking me slowly while kissing my thigh.  
“Did Takumi get there all right?” the voice on the other end teased.  
He licked his lips as he looked up at me. In complete control, he answered, “No, he hasn’t come yet.”  
My knees tried to touch one another as he opened them again with both his hands.  
  
His tongue slid from my thigh, close enough-  
I crouched over him, moaning softly into my hand.  
  
“Just letting you know in case he gets lost. He had a hard time getting to my house the other day.”  
“Even with GPS?” Fingering one nipple as his other hand began rubbing a little faster, I bit my lip while grabbing onto his shoulders.  
  
“I don’t know if he’s been anywhere besides our expeditions.”  
He looked up at me once more, reaching out to hold onto one of my cheeks as the sweat from my forehead fell. “You’re actually worried?”  
  
“No, I’m not.” You could hear the childish protest in Keisuke’s voice. “I was giving you a heads up.”  
“Thank you.” Ryousuke unzipped his slacks. “I appreciate it.”  
“And Aniki?”  
“Yes?” Gently, he pulled my right hand.  
“Thanks.”  
“For what, Kei?”  
  
_His tone was sweet even when he was doing something like this…_  
  
“Everything. Talk to you later.”  
And he brought my hand farther than the band of his briefs. “Don’t forget to call next week.”  
“Sure. Bye.”  
“Bye.”  
  
The call ended as his hand held the back of my head so that we could lie on the bed again. When he was pulling on a light blanket, my hand squeezed and massaged him so that he stopped midway, grunting from the pleasure. Facing one another under the sheets, we kissed until our moans were drowning everything from our minds, losing ourselves to one another.  
He pulled me further as heat beat against heat and I reached out with my left hand, my fingertips touching his face to take a good look at it. Up close, it was hard to ignore that he was truly handsome, his features more pronounced by the intensity of his feelings.  
  
_I never knew what it meant once you switched to direct all your emotions from the road onto me.  
  
Running the red zone and slipping into dangerous territory,  
you throw yourself away._  
  
Even as the world outside was beginning its day, we prolonged our night as much as we could. Ryousuke whispered things I’d never thought he’d say while I grabbed onto him even harder when he entered me over and over again until I couldn’t even think anymore.  
I’d moan into his mouth and feel embarrassed for hearing my own voice, at how needy I really was. At how honest we both were that we couldn’t stop, still catching each other’s tongues, fire licking against fire…  
  
We carefully watched one another’s secret expressions as if nothing else existed before or after this.  
  
***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
Hours later, when we finally woke up, he pulled the curtain just a little so that some light could come in. Reaching over, he hugged my waist and I could feel him smiling as he kissed my shoulder. We didn’t say anything for a long while until I could finally calm down as my head remembered the sequence of events that had led me from a mountain battle to being unclothed and in bed with Takahashi Ryousuke, a man whose appetite was bottomless.  
  
My body ached all over to the point I wondered if I could drive home.  
  
“Ryousuke?”  
“Yes?”  
“I always wanted to ask you something.”  
“What?”  
“Um…when we battled the first time, why did you send me 15 roses? I looked it up and it said ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘forgive me’.”  
“I’m sorry I’m going to defeat you. That’s what I’d meant.”  
“Seems it backfired though.”  
“And also the best investment I ever made.” He gave me a quick squeeze.  
I turned around to look into his face. “But roses? I didn’t think that you were asking for a date-“  
“It was a challenge, but it was my kind of date. Do you think I go around asking people to race me?”  
“Rhetorical question, of course.” I shook my head and laughed.  
  
“I’ll show you something.” Getting up a little, but not letting me go, his arm reached out for his black leather wallet. In between his arms as I rested on his shoulder, he opened his wallet. Through the small rectangular plastic frame, I saw the picture Tsugumi had mentioned. It was a colored drawing, very detailed too though wallet-sized. It was the exact moment when I was speechless, never believing that I’d been faster than him.  
“You have this in your wallet?”  
“No one’s ever stopped me to tell me I should have won a race. Your expression was priceless: Cute and innocent.”  
His thumb and index finger pulled another picture from behind mine. It was an old photograph of kindergartner Keisuke in his navy blue school uniform with a big forehead and rosy cheeks hugging a white teddy bear and toy car in his arms. He still had that spunky rambunctious air about him.  
I looked over at him as he stared at both of our pictures, holding them next to one another. He smiled so brightly as if these pieces of paper could grin back at him.  
  
“My two aces.”  
  
I reached out my arm to put it over his chest, hugging him with all my strength.  
  
_And here we’d thought our adoration was only one way…_  
  
***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
Ryousuke gave me a long kiss before I left with the special project’s key in my hand. I went to Keisuke’s house and got my stuff, leaving him a message on the table to thank him for everything and so that he couldn’t figure out what time I’d actually left the area, which was around 12pm.  
  
While I drove back, I felt a sense of peace I hadn’t known before, but there was a nagging feeling that kept gnawing at me. That when things were too perfect and ready to break…  
  
I tried to push it away and thought of Ryousuke’s words:  
_“When it’s 5pm, Matsumoto will pick you up from your house.”  
“He knows about your project?”  
“Who else would I ask about engineering?”  
“Okay…” I replied, half-convinced and a little depressed that he had told Matsumoto before me._  
  
When I arrived home, Dad was attending to a customer, but after putting my stuff down, he took out a cigarette and lit it up in the living room. Sitting down for a break, he had one hand on his knee, expecting me to start the conversation.  
“I did it. I raced with Ao-I mean, the Impreza.” I couldn’t believe I stuttered like a little kid in front of him. “And I won…”  
He took a puff and grunted. “Ah.”  
Not saying another word, another customer came into the shop and I washed my clothes while waiting for Matsumoto to pick me up.  
  
When he arrived, he looked like he was out of breath. “Sorry I came a bit late. I was doing a lot of errands and the traffic was bad.”  
“No problem.” I closed the door and put on my seatbelt when he was already pulling away from my house. “Thanks for coming to get me even though you’re busy.”  
“Did you have a good talk with Ryousuke-san?”  
Nodding my head, I replied, “Yes, I did.”  
“Do you know exactly where we are going or what we’re doing?”  
“Something with cars?”  
“Oh.” He blinked his eyes, a little troubled. “Not even a hint?”  
“No clue whatsoever.”  
“I see.”  
  
We ended up talking about the specs that he’d made on the FC while I explained how it had been in the passenger seat watching as the two brothers battled. Even without commenting so much, Matsumoto looked whole-heartedly satisfied with the results of his hard work.  
  
Coming to Takasaki, we turned by the city hall and up some streets that were leading up to the famous kannon-sama in the area. There was a row of storage areas, separated by blue metal garage doors. “This is one of my workshops. It’s like a second home to me.”  
“You own all of these?”  
“Yes, I do. I do all my private projects here. I choose the requests I receive and with utmost secrecy. It must be like the mechanic for your father, right?”  
I was a little confused.  
_  
Huh? How’d he know something like that?_  
  
Unbuckling his seatbelt, we got out of his Nissan and walked over to the third garage door.  
“Can you give me the key Ryousuke-san gave to you?”  
“Sure.” I took it out of my pocket and handed it over to him.  
“What exactly am I supposed to do though?”  
“Just give your opinion.” He turned it inside the lock and put his hand under the large metal door. “That’s all.”  
When he brought the door up all the way to the top, my brain exploded into nothing but questions.  
  
“What?”  
  
I blinked slowly as a hush ran through my ears. I couldn’t even take a step forward, feeling every nerve in my body slowly going limp.  
  
_This was the project that you gave up your whole week for?_  
  
An image of Ryousuke’s hands appeared before me.  
  
_This…There was no way…_  
  
My legs were about to give way, losing all sense of feeling altogether.  
  
_“I’d never give that car away.”_  
  
“The ‘86?”  
I couldn’t believe that the ’86 was in front of me. There was no mistake about it, but…  
  
The ‘86 looked as if nothing had ever had happened to it. It was entirely restored to its original condition.  
Matsumoto went to open the hood, pointing at the 4A-GEU engine and other parts that had been replaced. Everything right down to the oil filter was flawless to the extent it was as if the ’86 had just been taken from the factory, right from the manufacturer’s own hands.  
  
“This whole week, Ryousuke-san has been personally fixing your car. He had all the specifications from his Project D data.” Matsumoto commented as I stood in my place. “The rest, your father filled in the blanks. His friend gave me a lot of notes as well.”  
  
Pushing the hood down, Matsumoto took a step back as I touched the black metal that I knew more than my own skin.  
  
_Tell me this is real. I don’t want to know if it isn’t. It would be cruel to wake up.  
_  
Before I was conscious of it, I was already crying. I only realized it when I saw my tears on the hood.  
  
_How many hours have I spent wondering when I could see you again? Even if I knew it was impossible?_  
  
Not being able to breathe, I leaned forward and pushed on it to keep myself steady, desperately grasping onto any detail that would tell me I wouldn’t wake up from such a wonderful dream.  
  
I closed my eyes and gulped.  
  
“He did most of it with his own hands. I told him I’d help him, but he wouldn’t listen to me and insisted that he’d do it himself.”  
  
“How much did this all cost?” I tried to sound calm, trying not to betray my silent sobbing. “I have to pay him back for this.”  
  
“Nothing. This was his goodbye present to you. To thank you for everything.”  
  
_I’d been completely wrong about everything…especially about you..._  
  
“Here’s the key. Go and try it out.”  
  
I wiped my eyes and took the key from his hands. “Thank you.”  
Pushing the key into the door lock, it opened and I sat in the cushioned seat. The bucket seat had been taken out and was back to the way it was when my mother was still driving it.  
A time warp occurred as I was sitting there, and so I began to shake. Every single thing looked so new that even our old speedometer was staring back at me. My fingertips reached out for the gearshift, the radio, and cup holder.  
  
_All his details smoothed down to utter perfection. You’re making sure to tell me that it was only you who touched my car._  
  
Inserting the key into the ignition, I heard the familiar sound. Tears came out again from the sides of my face.  
  
The race engine wasn’t there, but the heartbeat I’d grown up with.  
  
_You’re here.  
Words cannot describe how much I’ve missed you, Brother._  
  
“I had no idea...”  
  
Touching the dashboard I’d grown up and battled with, everything became blurry before me. I didn’t even care if Matsumoto saw my distress.  
  
_Ryousuke…  
You loved me this much…  
  
to bring back the one thing I wished for more than anything in this world…_  
  
  
“I can’t believe he brought you back to me.”  
  
  
_My dad and Ryousuke, they knew all along.  
  
That’s why dad approved of him…_  
  
**Tsuzuku/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *super meltdown mode* Okay, this chapter took a turn even I hadn’t planned for, but woo hoo~, Takumi, you’re the man~! (Okay, that tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny little voice in me wanted a seme Takumi.)
> 
> YES~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have had this chapter’s draft since Chapter 2 of this fic and it is finally here! Initial D cannot be complete without the ’86! There was a Toyota Corolla hatchback I loved so much. I would give a lot to drive in that car again. Almost 20 years later, I still miss him. So when I watch Initial D and see Takumi, I can remember those wonderful days.  
> Ryousuke…stupid Ryousuke…why do you have to make me cry so much? How can you be this sweet?! Writing this chapter, I was overwhelmed and had to catch myself. It was like I could feel this person’s love for Takumi and Takumi, who has only been truly aware of it for these past two weeks, has come to realize that this ‘perfect’ person is more vulnerable and clueless in a lot of ways than he is. That feeling alone was what carried me 20+ chapters through to write this fanfic.
> 
> They love each other so much, but they can’t get through to one another completely and it is what chapter??? T________________T *goes off in a little corner and makes circles on the floor* *mumbles* Why oh why do I do this to myself?
> 
> (Oh, and the 15 roses was what I counted from the anime.)
> 
> Thank you so much for your support and kind words! I read them and I keep them inside my heart when I go about my day. I’m so glad what I felt and thought could come out the way I wanted.
> 
> Until next chapter, with love,  
> Yui


	27. Kurikaeshite. (Repeating.)

**Disclaimer – Shigeno-sensei is the person who created this wonderful series called Initial D. It doesn’t belong to me, but here we are because of my love for it.  
  
**  
I only circled once around these unknown streets. And as soon as I stepped out of the ’86, everything I wrongly assumed was ransacked by all my conflicting emotions.   
  
_No one guaranteed that once I knew his answer that everything would fall into place._  
  
“How was it?”  
  
By the time I held onto the unscratched door frame, my throat was already dry.   
“Unbelievable,” I replied both in honor and adoration for his skill. “Even if you said Ryousuke installed most of it, I know it was you who had to finalize this plan.”  
  
With the door still open, I stepped aside and bowed from my waist, trying my hardest to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. “Thank you very much.”  
“You don’t have to bow-“  
“No, Matsumoto-san. I have been with you throughout Project D and yet, I never told you how much I’ve appreciated you.” My face was still facing the dirt ground. “I understand why Ryousuke-san chose you. You are a true artisan.”  
  
When I lifted my head and humbly stood up, Matsumoto’s lips slightly curved upwards, listening attentively as he always did whenever we were discussing something.   
  
“Every car isn’t just a machine to you. It is an extension of a person. And you can see that so clearly.” I held my hand out towards the ’86. “This is the most important thing in my whole life. It links my mother, father, and me together so secretly, I’ve called him my ‘Brother’.”  
Now, I directed my hand towards him. “I know you understand what I mean.”  
  
Matsumoto shook my hand with the same humility he was known for. “You’re welcome, Takumi. And thank you for your kind words.”  
I was touched when he said my name.   
_  
For all that he’s worth, he is still so modest…_  
  
“Before you go, Ryousuke-san asked me to give this to you too.” He took out a thin silver-blue digital recorder from his shirt pocket.   
Taking it from his hand, I lifted it up. “Thanks.”  
“I think you should listen to it on your way home.”  
“I will.”  
  
With that, he waved once and we both parted.   
  
While waiting at the nearest stoplight, I fumbled with the recorder because I was actually afraid of what was on it. Even though the talk with Matsumoto somewhat calmed me down, my messed up feelings came out fiercer than ever. I got through “Folder 1” and pressed “Play” on “File 1” for the message.  
  
Turning right onto the main road, I breezed past the park and city hall. The windows were rolled up, and I placed the recorder in the passenger seat. Eerily, it was as if Ryousuke was right there next to me…   
  
“Hi Takumi. I’m sure you’re wondering about all of this right now.”  
  
 _That’s an understatement, even for you..._  
  
“I hadn’t planned to be secretive about fixing the ’86, but with everything going on, I had a feeling that you probably wouldn’t have believed me even if I’d told you. If I’d explained exactly why before we met here in Hakone.”  
  
Stopping myself from the vexation of glancing over, I kept my eyes straight on the road and cars before me. It was hard to imagine that he wasn’t here in person.   
  
“I always wanted to say sorry to you.” A long pause ensued.   
  
“For what?” I mumbled in irritation, watching the street with disorder running through my veins.  
  
“In our last battle as a team, it was my fault your engine blew. I had calculated until that point, but as a last resort, you really did use my advice. Even at the cost of your life, without thinking, you did it for the team. You had made me proud.  
“Even though you didn’t say a word when we all took it back to Gunma, you kept staring at the ’86 from the corner of your eye. I was disappointed with myself because you had sacrificed yourself. You lost something that meant the whole world to you.  
“I knew how that felt, and yet, even when I went to your house to apologize, all I could do was touch the ’86. I went home knowing it wouldn’t be sufficient enough...”   
_  
What Itsuki saw…_  
  
“…to thank you for all the time you spent with me. For playing the game I made. I know it was arrogant of me, but you’ve really had a hold on me for a quite a while now. All my level-headed reasoning flew out the window the moment you defeated my brother.”  
  
“Wasn’t it in our battle?” I questioned aloud.  
  
“Didn’t anyone tell you that I came back the very next night to Akina? I gathered all the details I could find and practiced in a way I’d never known. The latent fear that you could take it all away from me slowly became real to me.  
“Day after day, even when I was studying or doing my rounds in the hospital, I obsessed over how I could destroy you. Racing had always been a release for me. To push everything away. But you made me finally see that I’d never reach my full potential as I was. I could no longer go to sleep without knowing the truth about your strength or my weakness.  
“So when we raced, it was much better than all the trajectories or even the dreams I had of conquering you. You were only 40 percent of what my data predicted and the more I loved our battle as it progressed. I could experience the bliss of what my brother described. I never had so much fun because in the past, it was just painful. Battling with you only emphasized the hollowness.”  
  
I switched lanes to leave the expressway.   
  
“Ever since Kaori passed away, time stopped and something in me died too. I only felt alive while I was racing, but then, I saw something through you. That yearning to find where I could belong…to be the racing ideal I had inside my head.  
“While watching you, I knew you would reach the heights I couldn’t get to no matter how much I worked. At that point, you weren’t even aware of anything though you had all the talent many wished for, including myself. And when you ended my winning streak, you never put it over my head, insisting that even the facts were misleading.”  
  
His tone softened as he said, “I was so grateful you joined Project D that I went to pray at Akagi Jinja. And when we were together, you were kind to my brother and pushed him to be his best self as well. He always thought he was second to me, but you helped me to prove his assumptions wrong. I don’t think you know that you’ve changed all the people who have competed with you, Takumi.   
“And your group from Akina are there at every single race to support you. They believe in you, because I believe, inside and out, you are truly pure. You are not easily persuaded by others but make your decisions as they fit you. That is the strength I wished to possess.”  
  
I passed a train station and parked in a spot where no one could see me. There was another long pause as I turned off the engine and reached out for the recorder. I focused on the tiny green dot that said it was still on.  
  
“I think that is why I fell in love with you.”  
  
Looking out over the hood to the windows and back to the dashboard, I again watched the recorder in my hand.   
  
“I’ve lost Kaori and I can’t race anymore because I will take over my parent’s hospital. But I don’t have any regrets now. I know that when we race, you will understand what I’ve wanted you to learn. And from there, you will beat me once more. Maybe this time, you will be satisfied with the results.”  
  
Pressing my left wrist onto the steering wheel, I put my right one over it and pushed my forehead onto the cross, still holding onto the recorder.   
  
“I just wanted to see it one more time because never again will I forfeit what I treasure. I don’t want to lose you without giving it all I’ve got. Even now as I record this, I’m not ready to give you up to anyone or anything.  
“I hope the ‘86 can tell you what I feel. How much I am in love with you. Again, thank you, Takumi.”  
  
There was a beep to say the message ended and everything became silent.  
  
I clenched onto the recorder, wanting to throw it against the innocent window.  
  
“Why do you do this to me?”   
I could no longer swallow my tears. They kept dropping as I shook from sobbing.  
  
 _I didn’t expect this to be easy, but I don’t get it. Every single damn time, why do you always have to say goodbye?_  
  
Retreating like this, I knew he still didn’t trust me.  
  
 _Just because you love one another doesn’t automatically mean happiness either._  
  
“I won’t…give up...”  
  
 _The thought of actually letting you go…it makes the very core of my being shut down altogether._  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
“This is the voicemail of Takahashi Ryousuke. Please leave your name, number, and message at the tone. Thank you very much and I will get back to you as soon as possible.”  
  
 _Something wasn’t right. No matter what time I called, or whatever he was doing, he’d always answer._  
  
I still got no response at the second try so I tried to contact Keisuke too. Luck wasn’t on my side because both of them weren’t picking up or replying to my emails even though I knew for sure they were not sleeping. It was relatively early for all of us.  
  
“How weird…”  
  
Gathering all the courage I could muster, I drove to Ryousuke’s house, but all the lights were off. I sighed and debated on going to the hospital. It was the only other place I could think of because of the stack of papers he’d had in the cabin.  
  
 _I should’ve asked Tsugumi for her phone number._  
  
After an hour of waiting, I decided to go to the hospital. On the way there, I dropped by a convenience store to see myself in the mirror and collect my distorted thoughts while buying a bottle of houjicha.  
  
When I was at the main entrance, I slowly approached the front desk. The receptionist on night duty asked me to wait, but the expected page didn’t go through the hospital’s speakers. Instead, another staff member led me to the director’s office.   
Mr. Takahashi sat behind a huge concave desk typing on his keyboard while Mrs. Takahashi stood next to him with a clipboard in her hands. The director looked at me with no qualms of implying my tedious presence was disturbing their work.  
  
“Good evening, Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi. I am sorry to bother you at this time of the day.”  
Mrs. Takahashi slightly bowed her head forward while Mr. Takahashi gave me a curt, “Hello, Fujiwara. What seems to be the problem?”  
“I would like to talk to Ryousuke-san.”  
  
That strange feeling at the pit of my stomach turned over…  
  
“He’s already on his flight as we speak.”  
  
 _His what?_  
  
All the color drained from my face with every word he said.  
  
 _He’s not here?_  
  
“Did he fail to mention to you that he was going to do internships overseas so that he could change our facilities? I just assumed you were the first to know about this.” He glanced at his computer screen dismissively.  
  
“No, he never told me anything,” I replied monotonously.  
  
Sand had taken over the insides of my mouth, his words dizzily working themselves into my brain.  
  
“We came to a mutual agreement that if he left, I would no longer interfere with your life. So, he went off and when he returns, he will take over.”  
  
Nothing came out from my mouth. His triumph solidified itself at my silence.  
  
 _You would have threatened my father just because of your family troubles. All because I’m nothing but trash in your eyes?  
_  
I couldn’t decide if I was more disappointed or aggravated by Ryousuke’s decision.  
  
 _I didn’t need you to do that for me!_  
  
“I won’t waste my time trying to understand your relationship with our son. What’s your true motive anyway? I won’t allow you to drag him down after all I’ve done to secure his future.”  
“I’m not here to speak for Ryousuke-san’s choices, but I know if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t have been able to see a better future for myself. I can’t have you damage all his hard work. The things he’s truly proud of.”  
  
 _Suddenly, it felt like I’d discovered the missing pieces of my limited understanding of Ryousuke and Kaori’s relationship, why they’d been deeply attached to one another.  
The extremeness of how they lived.  
  
Before, I didn’t know how to relate._  
  
“You’re just a child. You have no idea what will lie ahead from what you’re proposing.”  
  
Ryousuke wasn’t here to defend me this time.  
  
“You’re right, I don’t know about that. But what I do know? I will never lie to myself to fit what I’m ‘supposed to be’. And I’ll only let go of him when he tells me to do so.”  
  
“Racing.” Mr. Takahashi drummed his fingers on his desk and then pushed both of his hands on its ledge. “I can’t believe until now, it has to be my adversary.”   
  
The harsh glare towards his wife matched the shade of disdain in his voice. “I blame you for never getting rid of your collection.”  
“I’ll do everything you ask, my dear,” his wife protested, digging her nails into the clipboard, “Everything, but that.”  
  
Mr. Takahashi was about to retort back when we were interrupted by the intercom.   
“I’ll take care of this,” his wife said as he rushed out.  
  
I stepped aside as he coldly showed himself out of the room.  
  
Mrs. Takahashi put the clipboard next to the keyboard and let out a deep sigh. Crossing her arms in front of her and with no bitterness in her tone, she pointed out, “You know it’s useless now. There is nothing you can do.”  
  
The enigmatic figure approached the front of the red cherry desk. Her grave expression remained unchanged. “But here you are to remind me that there’s no such thing as coincidence.”  
  
 _What does she mean by that?_  
  
“I only came to say thank you to Ryousuke-san because he repaired my car. You may laugh at me, Mrs. Takahashi, but that car means more than my life.”   
  
_It connects everything in my world._  
  
I took a step forward. “So please tell me how can I reach him.”  
  
 _Because I don’t know how. He won’t let me._  
  
“How can I trust you? Your relationship alone automatically implies he will be shunned by society.” She leaned onto the desk.  
“I know that.”  
Uncrossing her arms, she continued to press the questions that were whirling in my head. “If word gets around, it will ruin both of your reputations and careers.”   
“I’m aware of that too.”  
  
Mrs. Takahashi’s heels tapped softly on the floor until she stood before me. “Even with all that, would you give up racing or Ryousuke?”  
Her eyes searched deeply into me and I had to admit, I was a little taken aback.  
“They are the same to me. Without Ryousuke, there is no racing.”  
“That isn’t what I meant.”  
“No matter how many times you ask, I will always choose Ryousuke-san. Always.”  
“How can you be so sure of your answer?”  
“Because he bet on me, didn’t he?”  
  
 _Because he gave me everything that I am now…  
Because I don’t want to give up on myself anymore.   
  
I don’t want to lose so I have to protect it. Racing, his brother, and myself…  
This is where we can find our piece of freedom._  
  
“Words are empty no matter how much the heart knows they’re true.”  
  
Swallowing hard, I clenched my right hand and then my left one. Slowly getting down one knee at a time, her eyes opened wide. Opening my hands to push against the ground, I lowered my head to the floor. “I promise you I won’t let go of him unless he throws me away. Until that time comes, I will stay with him.”  
  
There were so many times in my life I regretted never expressing what I really wanted. In those small failures, I still held my breath whenever I thought about them.  
  
 _I’d cut off my pride and my ego if I could gain his trust._  
  
“Answering like that…” She went down on one knee to pat my shoulder and grab my arm so that I could stand up. “It is no wonder he...”  
She didn’t finish her thought.  
The stiffness in her manner melted away as she squeezed my arm. After she let go, she then pushed away the loose strands of hair that had fallen across her face. “Who would have thought I’d meet Seiko-san’s son like this?”  
  
“You know my mother?”  
Even more subtle than her oldest son, her eyes half closed, eyelashes lowered, and then went up again in response.  
“I’ll explain everything to you, but not here. Tomorrow, I’ll go to Shibukawa Station at 6am. If you choose to meet me there, I’ll tell you then.”   
  
_I was getting ready to leave Gunma the day after tomorrow, right? But it didn’t seem to matter now._  
  
“Yes.”  
  
She followed me into the parking lot. At seeing the ’86, Mrs. Takahashi’s fingertips gently reached for its metallic surface. Her hand was like a flower, holding her fingers like a bud until they spread out slowly over the black hood, sweeping it in a half-circle motion. All the while, her eyes, if they could, kissed the ’86 lovingly. “It’s nice to see you again.”  
  
Momentarily, the hint of tenderness faded into sorrow.  
  
 _Who is this woman?_  
  
Lost in the moment, when she turned her head, Mrs. Takahashi opened her mouth about call to someone else…  
  
…because I swear she looked almost shocked to see me there.  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
Itsuki and I had breakfast together at Gasto, which was four blocks away from the front of the station. Over eggs, sausage, toast, and hash browns, we talked about Hakone. I listened to his enthusiastic, yet half-sleepy praises of how they had chosen the best spot near the end of the course. They had a perfect view of how I overtook Ryousuke, and Itsuki glowed at how he’d been the one to get it on his phone. Then, he switched to how our sempais were over the moon at finally being able to see Ryousuke on an uphill with his own brother. When he finally started to eat, I was almost finished so I told him about how the Rotary Brothers each pushed their limits.  
Temporarily, the noose of all my anxieties loosened.  
  
It didn’t seem fair though to always run to Itsuki whenever things became too much for me.  
  
We still had some time so when he sat in the car, I put my arm out. “Don’t put your seatbelt on yet.”  
“Okay.” He looked over at me as I breathed in a large amount of air and let it out slowly.  
“Thanks for picking me up even though I messaged you so late.”  
“Don’t worry about it.”  
I found myself watching my lap. “Even if you’re my best friend, I shouldn’t take advantage of you just because.”  
“If it were me, I know you’d do it. That’s why I don’t think twice.”  
“I know…” I faced him and looked him straight in the eye. “…but I need to tell you why the Impreza’s parked in front of the house.”  
“You don’t have to. I know you’ll tell me eventually.”  
 _  
No…I want it to be fair…I have to learn. You shouldn’t always be waiting for me just because I can’t deal with things._  
  
“Dad brought the ’86 for the tofu rounds.”  
“What? The ’86?! Wasn’t it being repaired? Isn’t that what you told me?”  
“Yesterday, I picked it up with Matsumoto-san.” My nails pressed into my jeans. “Ryousuke was the one who repaired it.”  
Itsuki’s jaw dropped. Stupefied, he opened and closed his eyes several times, but didn’t move.  
“And he didn’t just ‘fix it’. He restored it to showroom condition. To the time my dad was still battling with it. It was his way of thanking me for Project D, but he and Dad…”   
  
_They got the car done without me knowing._  
  
The scroll of thoughts that rushed through me instantly halted. All the clashing words dissipated the moment I was forced to accept that Ryousuke was nowhere near. My blood turned cold.  
  
Itsuki’s hands reached out for my collar. “What the hell are you doing here with me then?!”  
  
I was at a loss on what to say.  
  
 _I couldn’t talk with my dad last night. And when I called Ryousuke, he didn’t pick up. He’s out of Gunma._  
  
“I don’t know where he is. That’s why I came here to find out.”  
I didn’t have the strength to talk anymore.  
  
He let go of me, the misery on my face speaking for itself.  
  
Since it was almost time, he drove me down to the station. But when he dropped me off, I opened my arms to give him a big hug. “Itsuki…Thanks for sticking with me even when I’m like this.”  
While letting go, he was shaking his head at me. After rubbing his eyes, he hit the top of my head. “You dummy. You don’t have to tell me. I already know.”  
The turmoil couldn’t stop the small grin that came to my face. “Later.”  
“See you, Takumi.”  
  
The Levin went up the small slope and my eyes roamed around the station. Parked to one side of it, a hand waved at me from a silver 1992 Honda NSX-R. For some reason, I had some vague sense of recognition…  
  
While walking towards her, I thought of my dad.   
  
Since he was already sleeping when I arrived, I’d left a note on the table saying, “I brought the ’86 back.”  
  
Upset as I was with him, there was absolutely no point in asking the obvious.  
  
“Hello,” I greeted when I pulled the handle of the door.  
“You came,” she answered, looking relieved to see me in the seat next to hers.  
  
I was more than unnerved. The sense of dread that started at the hospital returned in full force as soon as we drove, almost making me want to vomit the little I’d eaten.   
  
It didn’t help that in the back of my mind, both Ryousuke and Keisuke hadn’t returned my phone calls and here I was with their mother. Within 12 hours time, she’d done a complete 180 and I wasn’t sure if I could trust her, considering her and her husband’s track record with me.  
 _  
But she knows my mom._  
  
Others had stayed away from the subject, but she looked like she’d been waiting to tell about it all along.   
“For whatever reason, thank you for coming.”  
“Where exactly are we headed?”  
“We’re going into Tokyo to see my close friend. He’s the only one who can help you get to Ryousuke right now.”   
  
She refused to look at me and I didn’t even have a hint of what was happening. Thoughtlessly, I blurted out, “Why are you helping me? I thought you were disgusted with me.”  
“No…I don’t feel that way at all.”  
  
The light murmur of some melody played on the morning radio.  
  
“You have a stronger will than me so I can trust you with him.”  
  
I couldn’t help but stare at the woman in her dark pinkish blouse with her white suit buttoned right at the center. Her French tip nails and the pearl white of her heels mismatched her fluid way of driving when she entered into the expressway after paying the toll.   
One by one, she smoothly passed each car before us as if we were only playing a video game, even reaching out to put in a cd into the player while changing lanes. If I hadn’t been watching, I wouldn’t have believed it. She converged the two styles of her sons, and they’d each split her technique down the middle: Meticulous elegance mixed with fiery playfulness.   
  
“The boys used to love this game when they were little.”  
 _  
That’s right. Just like my parents with me, they had watched her._  
  
Sometimes, her driving reminded me of being with my dad, but more on the carefully timed and less on the hopelessly thoughtless.  
 _  
Except for Purple Shadow, I hadn’t observed other drivers my father’s age. It wasn’t quite like the way we drove now. Was it experience, the cars, or their generation that made the contrast visible?  
  
Is that why he keeps telling me I can’t catch up anytime soon?_  
  
“You won’t betray them. That’s all that matters to me in regards to my two sons.”  
  
 _She spoke in spirals. Elusive yet definite. I really didn’t know what to make of it._  
  
In this way, she and Ryousuke were truly identical.  
  
“How old are you now?”  
“I’ll be turning 20 soon.”  
“And is your father all right?”  
“He’s the same as always.”  
She held a relaxed expression on her face as she commented, “That’s good to know.”  
  
“How do you know my parents?”  
“Actually, your father doesn’t know me even if I know him.”  
  
Her profile erased all evidence of the smile that had been there moments before. All that was left was anguish.  
  
“I’ve never told anyone this. I thought I would carry this to the grave with me, but I guess that’s not possible anymore.” Mrs. Takahashi briefly looked at me for the first time since I’d sat down in the car. “Please promise me never to tell anyone, especially my family or your father.”  
“I promise.”  
  
 _Her gentle plead...  
Am I going to regret coming?_  
  
“When I was a freshman in college, I got into F1 racing. Since I couldn’t go to the races because of my study schedule, I’d heard that people were racing locally. Back then, having girls come by themselves to that type of thing was next to none. I was really rare because I was interested in designing car engines. Of course, in any circumstance, I was labeled a delinquent.”  
  
 _Keisuke…_  
  
“But after the first summer race on Akagi, I started talking to one girl because she was the only other female in the sea of onlookers. I was so happy to find a new friend because for the most part, she’d never heard about me, and she was only in high school. I don’t know why, but she thought I was the same age as her too. I didn’t deny it and even when she found out two months later, she wasn’t upset about it.   
“We enjoyed talking about the drivers who were around and I casually began to race behind my parents’ backs. Most of the time, I was helping behind the scenes with any mechanical problems so that’s how I got accepted into the group. Actually, I still keep in touch with them until this day.  
“In the autumn of that same year, when I was talking to her at the starting line, she said she had to go. I realized that she was the contender so I panicked. I was scared if she could race with so little experience. But all my worries were in vain. Anyone who saw her that night knew she was one of those people who could go farther than the mountains.”  
  
She took her right hand off the steering wheel and put it on her lap. “I knew one day her talent would lead her into a different direction. That would be the line that life would divide between us.   
“The next evening after that race, she brought me to her home course. As she sped down her road, even the twists felt like ‘her’. Not only was I bewitched, I forgot all my troubles. I could just be ‘me’ without all the strings that came with my family name. The longer I sat there, my admiration grew because she was so dazzling and skilled with the very thing I held very dear to my heart. At the end of the run, she didn’t explain why she’d brought me there. Nor did I tell her what I thought because she leaned over to kiss me.”  
  
I didn’t know how to respond.  
  
“I was her mechanic for a year and a half. With that, I had also become her lover.” Both of her hands moved the steering wheel back and forth, threading through like a swimmer who could gauge the current and know how much force to use. All the while, it all appeared so natural that the gravity of her words deepened her movements.  
  
Driving was both her pain and her pleasure.  
  
“But my parents found out about the racing. And how I had spent my money, though I had earned it myself, on her races. I was forbidden to see my team or race ever again because I was the designated heir to the main family of our bloodline. Our family had been in this profession since the Meiji Period so there was no way they’d forfeit the first hospital they’d established. My grandfather had enough capital to open it in the Taisho period, surviving everything in between.  
“From that time on, I was banned from going anywhere besides the university and our hospital. I was monitored all the time so there was no way I could even tell my friends why I’d disappeared. They probably found out about me from the local newspaper because we were able to exchange letters. But as expected, I’d lost contact with her.   
“During that time, I was introduced to a nice young man. He was hardworking and had paid his way through school. I honestly didn’t know what he saw in me, but he tried to win me over any way he could. At first I was suspicious of him, but he passionately wanted to help others and worked his way up the administration ranks.   
“Even when he knew that there was someone else I was always looking for, after three years of persistence, I finally turned his way. And while I’d never said anything about my past, he bore a grudge against my obsession over racing the entire time we’ve been together.”  
  
Despondent as if talking to herself, she continued with her eyes turning red, “Through one of the members of the team, they admitted to me that the girl had gotten a boyfriend. He later became her husband.  
“But you know what the ironic thing is? Years after she’d moved away and I stayed in my hometown, she showed up at my hospital. My parents had already passed away by then and she asked me to treat her if I could.  
“At that time though, we didn’t have the technology so all I could do was prolong the inevitable. When it became too much for her to come to me, I recommended for her to go to her local hospital. It was only on the contingency that I come there as a visiting doctor.”  
  
No tears fell.   
  
“The problem began when she was asked to do an anniversary commercial. Even though she’d trained her body, the sudden jolt while racing had caused a concussion. The severity of that injury was undetected and it was later discovered that she’d suffered some kind of brain trauma.  
“In the end, her body couldn’t take it, but she wanted to live out her life naturally. She was really stubborn like that. And so, I watched her deteriorate before my eyes.  
“Even though I was her main doctor, there was always another doctor who explained everything to her family. Her husband knew nothing about our history, and I just couldn’t face him.  
“When she passed away, I didn’t attend her funeral. I was in denial for a very long time, but I visited her grave every year on the day we’d met. After all, I couldn’t let her go.”  
 _  
Ryousuke and Keisuke have no idea how much she really understands their thoughts…_  
  
“So it’s hard for me to look at you.” Her eyes squinted as she gave a smile filled with forlorn nostalgia. “You’re so similar to Seiko-san in more ways than one.”  
  
“Mother…”  
  
 _The one she’d loved was my mother.  
  
Of all the people who would make me understand the truth…_  
  
All at once, the scattered segments of my memories came back to me.  
  
 _“When is mommy coming back from her trip?”  
  
She began to pack a small bag. “Where are you going? Why can’t you be at home?”  
  
“When are you coming home, Mommy?” I cried into exhaustion in her arms after throwing my green crayon into the hospital wall.   
  
At the viewing, when we were alone, my dad hugged me from behind as I touched her hands. “Why are you sleeping here?”_  
  
“I…”   
_  
I felt paralyzed. What Ryousuke said, his mother’s words…  
The truth about my parents through her eyes…_  
  
For an hour, we were absolutely quiet as the music lightly played between us.  
  
The sun was shining to the point I flipped the visor up and she put on her sunglasses. Speeding along the Kanetsu Expressway, the amount of cars increased as we got further into the capital, especially into Shinjuku. The humidity became stifling the more we met crowds waiting for a rendezvous, fashion bargains, and mid-day drinking spurts on Chuo Doori.   
  
“I hope you understand me now. I followed what their father wanted because I love him, and I know he means well despite everything. It’s hard to believe that my own children followed my path though I tried so hard for them to avoid it. That’s why I couldn’t scold Keisuke or Ryousuke as I should have because I was the exact same way. I didn’t give up on them, but to tell them…and their father…  
“It would break my husband’s heart if I said the truth, but it’d break mine if I had to give her away all over again. I just can’t...”  
  
“Is that why you kept those videotapes? Ryousuke converted them and I saw some.”   
She nodded. “In the early days, I was the one who recorded her battles. When Save was formed, my former teammates took them and sent me the originals for safe keeping.”  
  
 _How many times had she seen them? And what did she think while watching my father and mother together?  
  
Of course, I had no right to ask.  
_  
  
 **Tsuzuku…/To be continued…**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t know why, but while viewing Initial D, there was a part of me that wondered how, why, and where did Ryousuke and Keisuke’s talent come from? Suddenly from writing about those old tapes (chapter 3?), I had a vague image of Mrs. Takahashi and Takumi’s mom knowing each other. The result (this chapter) turned out to be more intricate than I’d envisioned. But personally, even if it’s for myself, it gave me a sense of closure too.  
> To me, in this chapter alone, it’s like diving back in time to rediscover those feelings of falling in love for the first time. Over and over with different kinds of people and things. And honestly, I quivered at the initial thought of that very prospect. So, I pushed the fic aside, not wanting to rush through just because I wasn’t sure…was it right to go there? Would I be okay with that? Did I want to think about them again?  
> Why…  
> And in the end, years later, it’s okay to look back once in a while. It’s a precious feeling. I wanted to preserve that.
> 
> I wrote this chapter over and over, but now, I’m spent, squeezed to the last drop. And with it, I cannot believe we've come to the end in the next chapter. *holds fic close* I really can’t believe it. The last time I wrote this much, it took a year. Ah, thank you Initial D for being here all these years.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the read because I thoroughly loved writing this chapter.
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


	28. [Final] Pure emotion.

**Disclaimer – Shigeno-sensei is the author of this wonderful work and so he owns all rights to Initial D. I just write because I fall in love with it over and over again.  
**  
  
“Calling for all passengers for flight JA7017 to Los Angeles…”  
  
Taking a long breath to relieve my nerves, doubts and eagerness overlapped at the flight attendant’s announcement. Surveying the other passengers passing by us, everything seemed more than surreal that I’d be standing in Haneda Airport waiting for the same flight Ryousuke had taken the night before.   
  
That very thought caused mini traces of pain to erupt all over my body, reverberating in my heart more than ever.   
  
Mrs. Takahashi’s friend, Mr. Kunihikaru, was standing inconspicuously to the side and talking to airport personnel while waiting for us so that he’d be able to take her out of the airport gates. After all, no one but passengers could go through the departure security gates.   
Humble as he was, he ‘happened’ to be someone who took care of international passports and the normal 2-week process was cut into 5 hours in his Shinjuku office. No matter how many times I witnessed it, their family connections never ceased to impress me.  
  
Clutching onto my boarding ticket and the small bag that Mrs. Takahashi had bought for me along with other things I needed for the short trip, the courage that seized me when I bowed at her feet was spilling away. Instead, pieces of logic flowed along with the horror of taking my first international flight and my stupidity for following a man who’d left me with nothing but a recorded message.  
  
 _When I get there, would he throw me out? No, because he’s kind, he wouldn’t do that, but wasn’t that message a polite, indirect rejection in and of itself? If that’s the case, what the hell am I doing?_  
  
I couldn’t even pretend my usual indifference. Even as we went to sit at the far corner, enough to see when they’d call in passengers, I was too tense to smile despite the sincerity of my words. “Thank you for telling me the truth. For driving me here and everything you gave me. When I get back, I promise to pay you back-“   
“There’s no need to.” Mrs. Takahashi took my hand and shook it firmly. Her grasp lingered as our palms touched.   
“Please accept this as a gift from me. I’m going to wish that your idealism can become reality.” But her eyes clearly stated, “I don’t want my children to ever regret like I had.”  
  
I squeezed her hand momentarily. “Whatever happens, I’ll take care of him as long as he wants me to.”  
  
 _If there will ever come a time I can’t be with him, I’ll be around him somehow…  
That’s what I decided the night before I came to race you, Ryousuke._  
  
“Promise me you’ll be healthy for Ryousuke.” With tears brimming on her eyelids, she cupped her left hand over her mouth.  
  
All I could do was nod.  
  
 _I promise I won’t let him be lonely._  
  
“There really are no coincidences in life, are there?” As if in slow motion, she blinked her eyes and finally, I saw a content smile on that troubled countenance. Shyly, I looked down and found myself blushing at how lovely she appeared.   
  
“There. That’s it.” And without knowing, Mrs. Takahashi laughed with her teeth showing while letting go of my hand. Poking my cheek playfully, I was able to see a part of her unshadowed joy. “You smile the exact same way as her.”  
  
 _Goodbye seems too beautiful and cruel to say at this point..._  
  
Taking her leave, she got up and so, I did the same. We bowed our heads and turned away from one another. She headed towards Mr. Kunihikaru while I walked over to the extended string of connected, tinted windows.   
  
According to the clock, I had only ten minutes left before lining up. Leaning my shoulder onto the glass that showed the plane I’d be boarding, the phone rang against my ear. When he picked up, I froze even though I was the one calling.  
  
“Dad.”  
“Yes?”  
  
 _The ’86...  
I’m supposed leave for the Kansai region right now…  
All Ryousuke’s and his mother’s words…  
  
I want to see Ryousuke right now. Wherever he is._  
  
Wanting to say everything at the same time, I was stumped into silence.   
  
“You’re too old to pout about the car.” He sighed into the phone and I imagined him scratching the back of his head as he did so.  
“But why didn’t you tell me?”  
“Would you have listened even if I did?”  
I shook my head sheepishly even though I knew he couldn’t see me. “Nope.”  
“So…when are you coming home anyway? Didn’t you tell me that you wanted to-“  
“I know I’m supposed to leave tomorrow. The contract and everything with it is all set…” My clenched fist began to sweat. “…but I’m not going.”  
The other end of the line became mute.  
  
The weight of what I wanted to do and what I should do crushed me in a single moment. It was worse than the wrecking guilt I had at blowing up the ’86 on Akagi. Somehow, I was able to sputter out, “Ryousuke left without saying anything so I’m going to see him. Please help me, Dad.”  
  
 _I don’t know what to do._  
  
Again, I felt powerless at my own volition. Closing my eyes, I braced myself for the scolding that was sure to come at one of the riskiest things I’d ever done. But I wouldn’t regret it.  
  
In a reassuring tone, Dad told me, “Takumi, do whatever you have to do. I’ll work it out somehow. I’ll talk to them.”  
“I’m sorry…”  
“You don’t ever need to apologize for what you want.” Clearly, there was a tint of a delight in his voice. Before I could say anything, he coughed. “Actually, there’s something I think you should know.”  
“Yeah?”  
“While you were at your part-time job, Takahashi came. He went on his knees to beg me in order to fix that car.”  
“What?!” I covered my mouth at how loud I was.  
  
As if he were next to me, I could almost feel it: _“He had no confidence to ask me to give you to him.”_  
  
“I think I understand now. Thanks for letting me know.”  
“Do your best.”  
  
Smiling while staring at the plane, I remembered the time I foolishly wanted to be a delinquent. At such a strange time, I’d found another moment where under all that aloofness, my dad really was the coolest.  
  
“I will. I’ll be back in a few days.”  
“Okay. Bye.”  
  
As I crossed time zones, it was long past the day I was supposed to leave Gunma. Instead, once again, I found myself doing what I wasn’t supposed to do. Let me rephrase that, what I never thought I’d do if this was the me of two years ago.  
  
Trying to doze off and failing each time for nine hours, I came in and out of consciousness. Minutes passed between ‘snack and meal’ intervals, but I got a little stressed out by having to distinguish the taste of some dishes that were not exactly what they said they were written to be. All the while, I endlessly teetered between the rationale of coming to get his final answer and the insanity of self-defeat, jumping off the cliff for that single milligram of hope I held.   
  
_Either way, I’m not even sure if he’ll accept me._  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
Following the instructions of Mrs. Takahashi, I swam through the mess of customs and baggage claim, caught a dark blue shuttle with my limited English, and showed the written address before I took a seat at the back, near one of the windows. The wide streets led into a highway without toll booths. From above, the scenery was a mesh of granite, cement, sparse green, and smog.   
  
Each passenger was dropped off with me, coincidentally, being the last. The shuttle passed a quiet street with rows of nicely colored, gated houses surrounded by large lawns. It didn’t seem so surprising, like an American version of his steady lane in Gunma. But unexpectedly, the houses soon changed into pastel columns resembling tall apartment buildings. Many people who looked my age walked up and down small hills. In front of some cemetery, we stopped. I was dropped off in front of a light tangerine-colored apartment building lined with white borders and the black garage door below the first floor’s corner balcony.  
“Thank you,” I said shyly while exiting the van. Collecting myself, I stood at the entrance.  
 _  
Here, Ryousuke’s just an ordinary student. He isn’t some rich kid or even a famous street racer. In this country, he’s a complete nobody._  
  
And somewhere in my heart, I fell in love even more at such an extraordinary thing: That he was doing this all alone. Then again, the same sentiment flipped over to expose another fear.  
 _  
Maybe he truly wanted to make a fresh start and I’m interfering by being here._  
  
I walked up the lined pavement and spiral steps leading to a hall of doors on the second floor. While mumbling, I stood in front of the door marked “103”. Lifting up my hand to knock, I gulped. For good measure, I also pressed the doorbell.  
  
 _What will I do if no one’s here?_  
  
I only had five days even with Mrs. Takahashi’s note about my ‘summer flu’. One day was already scratched off.   
  
Almost giving into camping out at that spot, there was a series of thumps and clicks behind the door. Seeing half of his face, he closed the door, sliding a chain over. The door creaked open with Ryousuke’s face devoid of its ever-present composure, something I think no one ever thought could possibly occur at any type of situation. His skin appeared pale and his eyes, a bit tired.  
Ryousuke’s disconcerted mental state showed too obviously. “Takumi? Wh-Why are you here?”  
From who knows where my strength came from, I pushed him inside and closed the door with my back against it. Dropping my bag to the floor, my sleep-deprived body shook as I reached out to grab the fabric of his white lab coat, ready to shout at him.  
  
He didn’t even resist so we ended up falling to the ground with my body over his, still holding onto the material over his shoulders between my fingers. I’d planned until this point in time on the plane, especially after what his mother said to me. As my eyes passed over his, everything inside me quivered and rotated among states of tiredness, anxiety and anger. But instead of shouting, my voice echoed all my frustrated disappointment. “After all your talk, without saying a word, how could you leave me alone?”  
  
I pushed onto his shoulder blades, fingernails digging into the unwrinkled cotton that smelled sharply as if it’d just been opened. He didn’t move nor avert his eyes away from mine. Ryousuke’s lips remained a single line.   
  
_Why aren’t you answering me like you always do?_  
  
“That car has been with me as far as I can remember. Even if it was a car, I sometimes got jealous of it because my parents loved it as much as they loved me. I couldn’t understand it at all, but I care for the ‘86 like a human brother.”  
Looking up, tears slipped down my cheeks and my heart shook, confessing the things I’d kept inside for so long. “I broke the engine and it’s like something died, but my father brought him back to life and you…even though it was old enough to be scrapped, you did all you could to keep him going while I was in Project D. Matsumoto-san told me that you did all of the modifications by hand.”  
Sobbing, my hands shook very hard with my fingertips throbbing. “He even protected me when I hadn’t given all of myself to racing. I really regretted it in Hakone, you know that? But..but…”  
His right hand cupped against my cheek, his fingers touching the tips of the nape of neck. It sent a shiver down my spine. He then covered my left cheek and watched me tenderly. With his thumbs wiping away some of the drops of water from my face, I was so embarrassed by how much I really hadn’t minded revealing myself to this person. He’d uncovered the darkness and light I could expose to the world.   
Looking on silently, his right hand then moved to touch the top of my head, through my hair, and down to my jaw.  
  
“When it seemed impossible, you still gave him back to me. What you didn’t know was that I was okay with it. If you were with me, I could get over it.”  
  
He winced at finally realizing what he meant to me.  
  
“Why do you make all these decisions without me?!” I pounded into his chest as my tears fell in clumps onto his face. “How many times do I have to tell you so that you’ll listen and stop running away from me? I’m telling you this now: I’m going to keep chasing you until you’re sick of me, Ryousuke!”  
“I won’t ever get to that point.” His soothing tone sounded so certain.  
“Then please stop twisting my heart around with all your fancy words because I’m a simple person. I’m stubborn and I don’t let go once I’ve made a decision.”   
Ryousuke then pulled me closer, pressing his palms onto the back of my head and my forehead pushing onto his shoulder. “So get this in your brain. You’re the only one I race for because I love you! Otherwise, it’s meaningless!”  
  
“I know.” Holding me, he took a long, drawn-out breath. “From the moment you said to stop and came out of your car, you’re the only one who’s ever looked at me straight in the eye. And I’ve been competing almost all my data against you ever since.”  
  
 _Then why…?  
_  
“I never really knew all the ugly, unrefined parts of myself until I faced you. To possess you, I said I’d give you my support in exchange for your technique. To monopolize you, I’d make sure you’d never forget my existence.” His head turned to one side, towards the kitchen threshold. In a reserved and sorrowful tone, he apologized. “I’m sorry, Takumi, for judging you like I did. The things around me…they never chose me so I assumed you’d do the same.  
“When I needed them, my parents were obsessed about the hospital or each other. Kaori, even though I promised I’d protect her, she chose her own way out…And even if Keisuke understood me, I’d have to let him go eventually to live his own life.”  
Lifting my upper body, I propped my forearms on either side of his upper arms so that I could watch all these new facial expressions, comforted by the idea that each Noh mask he wore to avoid me were falling away seamlessly.   
“I’m the type to give everything, but they’ll still choose someone or something else for one reason or other. Knowing that, it’s hard to accept it won’t ever become entirely mine.”  
  
 _I’ve climbed over and smashed through his walls. So, this is the Ryousuke without strategies and defenses._  
  
Relieved, I lined my fingers in a candle-like fashion to gently bring his gaze back towards me. While pressing my fingertips onto his cheekbones, a grin appeared on my face as I inwardly chuckled.  
  
 _You’re a fool for not figuring me out even with all your intricate formulas..._  
  
“Didn’t you hear me? I said I’d follow you. I never said that had to stop at the end of Project D.”  
“But-“  
“No matter how or what comes, I’ll choose you.”  
“Your contract-“  
“This one with you is more important.” I began to feel sleepy as the effect of my minor adrenaline and emotional rush waned away. After not getting a wink on the plane, the crash of fatigue came too suddenly.   
“Okay okay…I admit it. This victory belongs to you,” he mildly jested, crossing his arms over my back protectively as my mind finally found peace.   
  
For the first time in ages, I slept very well.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
For the next two days, I’d accompany him to the university hospital. While doing his observations and studies, I wandered around campus and went home to either nap or do my own auto researching. When the afternoons came, I took a bus to walk around the beach. We’d meet at the Third Street Promenade and find something to eat.   
I’d insisted on cooking but he wanted me to relax and so we spent our evenings walking around and talking. And since we were both tired, we’d sleep as soon as we arrived back at his apartment.  
  
On the last night, we decided to stop by the pier and sit down on one of the benches observing the borderless beach integrating into the large cliffs. Underneath the large, wooden planks of the boardwalk, the ocean rush could be heard but not seen.   
While sharing a churro, we discussed about why’d he decided to take over the hospital. And despite all the animosity I’d encountered with Mr. Takahashi and that horrible phone message, Ryousuke leaned back into the bench with his arms spread out and legs crossed, showing nothing but compassion towards his father. It was like he was talking about someone completely different and not the person I’d fought with.   
“My father liked all the latest technology. No matter what it was, he bought each thing that came out. Even if it failed, he never got tired of trying anything new.   
“There was a time that even when he’d learned German and English so that he could get the medical information faster than their translations, it wasn’t enough for his personal research.”  
  
 _So it wasn’t just your mother after all._  
  
I began to understand why he wasn’t bitter about his father’s harshness towards us.  
  
“It’s ironic how our country creates some of the most advanced items in the world, but we don’t put them into our schools or our hospitals, where they could actually help people. My father has been fighting ever since to make that possible, but he can’t leave the hospital and now I’m actually at the age where I can support him. By sending me here, he’s given me all the information so that I can find the answers he couldn’t. That’s why he’s risking that I go. You see, this is his way of letting me find my way too. My mother didn’t want me to go abroad.  
“But I think her reason has nothing to do with me. I don’t know why, but Father slipped once in a while and told me that Mother wanted to protect us because she lost something precious a long time ago. He doesn’t know what but as long as they were together, he’d accept it.   
“So he becomes a little neurotic when it comes to my mother’s happiness.”  
  
 _It’s my mother, Ryousuke. But I can’t tell you that…_  
  
“In a way, I’m really grateful to my father. I don’t hate him. It’s just he’s stressed because of trying to defend many things and he doesn’t have much support. In our hospital, the sponsors and government representatives are split on technology depending on foreign collaborations.”  
  
We stared out in the beach with a light breeze swaying through, still munching at the end of our dessert. Taking out a pack of wet tissues from his pocket, he wiped my hands in between his warm ones as if it were perfectly natural to do so. Then, he cleaned his own.   
I glanced down at my damp hands and then turned to look at the oddly-shaped, yet attractive beach houses lining the freeway. “Ryou?”  
“Yes?  
“Didn’t you ever want to be a pro, though? Not even a little?”  
He shook his head. “The answer to my theory was answered through you and Keisuke. Can you guess what it came to?”  
Thinking for a moment, I stood up to walk by the steel railing, overlooking the water lapping back and forth. Ryousuke came over to me and hugged me from behind, his cheek touching mine. Behind us, crowds of people made the pier creak loudly. They were laughing happily in languages I’d never heard before.   
  
Floating from the bottom of the sea, a single word came to mind.  
  
“Freedom.”  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
Tired, he didn’t even bother to turn on the lights as he laid on the couch. Putting our souvenirs down on the kitchen table, I decided to play a joke, so I laid on top of him, feeling his heartbeat against my back.   
“Umph,” he said and then wrapped his hands over my bellybutton. “You’re heavy.”  
I smiled even though he couldn’t see me. “Just give me a few minutes and then I’ll get up.”  
I stared up at the ceiling, trying not to feel dejected at the fact that I was leaving in a few hours. Here in a country I didn’t know, the darkness offered us a satisfying solace.   
  
_This is where I belong._  
  
An image popped out of nowhere, both like a sign of the future and déjà vu.  
  
 _I can see us together being like this._  
  
He unwrapped his fingers and slowly pulled up my shirt, exposing my chest to the slight chill in the air.   
“Hmm?”  
His tongue began licking the nape of my neck, each finger placed between my rib bones as the index and middle fingers touched my nipples. I pushed myself up so that my head was in the space between the cushions and his head. Reaching for the back of Ryousuke’s neck, our tongues touched at the tip. While struggling to kiss even deeper, his right hand entered the small opening between my briefs and my skin…  
  
With his black blouse thrown above the couch and my pants hanging off the coffee table, while finding out he had a brief fetish, my voice gradually became more and more hoarse as Ryousuke no longer held back out of discretion. The couch creaked incessantly underneath us, cushions sighing with the springs on the verge of breaking. I gripped onto the arm of the couch while still holding onto Ryousuke, my back arching as far as it could go and amazing me that it could bend even further.   
His chest pounded against my back even harder every time our eyes briefly glanced at one another…  
  
  
On the morning of my departure, we’d taken the same shuttle company back to the airport and after getting my boarding pass, we stood to one side of the security check point. White walls surrounded us as people zigzagged through the black velvet ropes.   
“So this is it.”  
“Yeah…"  
“I almost forgot.”  
“Yes?”  
When I reached my hand out, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me in for a kiss that left my mouth feeling scorched. The light coming from the windows of the airport paled in comparison to the air around him.   
As we pulled away from each other, his fingers firmly placed a key into my palm. “If you can, could you please take care of our house until I return?”   
Glimpsing at the key, I gave him a quizzical look. “Isn’t this your house key?”  
“Actually,” he cleared his throat with a brush of bright crimson over his cheeks and nose, “I made this copy for you when I lent it to you. Please treat it as your own from now on.”  
Patting his cheek, I answered, “I’ll be waiting, Ryou.”  
  
I turned around to walk towards the line and even when I’d gone past the security point, he was still standing at the place I’d left him, even until I was swallowed into another corridor and we couldn’t see one another anymore.  
  
My eyes became misty at the thought that a year seemed far away.  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
More than a year later…  
  
“Takumi! We thought you’d be here in the evening!”  
“I was able to get an early leave.”  
  
Tachibana, Itsuki, Kenji, and Iketani were talking in front of the newly renovated gas station, its corners scraped clean and new colors of paint. And since Tachibana gave half ownership to Iketani by now, from across the back wall, I could see the grand opening sign of Iketani’s garage.   
While in the city, he’d studied again and got licensed, being qualified to work on Mako’s team. He’d built a good reputation for the quality and his extensive knowledge. Also, Mako was such a powerful and popular racer that her contract was renewed, ready to go back in three months.  
With a sweet, yet assured smile, Mako appeared from the direction of their garage and carried a bassinet with one hand. It was incredible to think that they were both parents now.  
  
“My grandchild is here!” Tachibana immediately took the baby boy out of the bassinet and brought him up to the air. The child gurgled, patting Tachibana’s face excitedly.   
After placing the bassinet down on the ground, Mako wiped Iketani’s sweat, her hand remaining affectionately in place for a few seconds before taking it away from his face.   
They started to explain to me that Kenji and Itsuki officially became the leaders of the Speed Stars around sakura season. And before I could catch my breath, Itsuki pulled me to one side to show me his dream car. I’d given him half of that money, and although I didn’t know that kind of thing could buy happiness, while looking at Itsuki’s expression, it made it a fact. I’d never seen him so happy in his whole life.  
  
When they were distracted with the Levin, I slipped away to watch the napping baby on the table inside the air-conditioned lobby.   
“Yuuya.” I poked his tiny round nose and his whole face crinkled. “Cute.”  
  
 _How many years has it been since we’ve been here? And when you grow up, we’ll make sure it'll still be here too…_  
  
I whispered as I pushed my finger into his tiny hand, “It’s good to finally meet you.”  
  
Right after I ate an early dinner with them, I turned the key expecting the tapping of computer keys. Today, quietness wouldn’t greet me as it had for the past twelve months.   
“I’m home.”  
  
A part of the living room had been rearranged so the atmosphere changed along with it. They pushed away the coffee table in place of some game console. Ryousuke and Tsugumi were playing a dancing game together. I grinned madly at the prospect of seeing Ryousuke and Tsugumi jumping on up, down, left, and right arrows on a colored metal pad. It was more than adorable.   
Of course, he was gathering stats that I couldn’t understand.   
  
“Welcome back.” Ryousuke ran to the couch to type his findings and flashed his wonderful smile at me, as if we’d just seen each other yesterday and not a whole year before. Maybe that had something to do with the daily calls and emails?  
“Takumi’s home~!” Tsugumi gave me that sweet grin of hers, running to me and holding my cheeks in her hands. “Mom’s picking me up because I have to go to cram school and driving school. I stayed so that I could say hi!”  
As usual, her ringtone played and she was already running out the door.  
“Bye, Tsugumi.” I handed her a bag full of instant Ise udon after she’d put her shoes on at the genkan.  
“Thank you!” She sent me a flying kiss. “I love it!”  
  
After dropping my bags into our room, I walked back down and over to the couch, ready to sit down next to a slightly fatigued Ryousuke when he opened his arms childishly, clearly demanding a hug with such a serious face. Sitting on his lap, he folded his hands over my stomach and I leaned against him.   
Taking a deep breath and closing my eyes, I began to complain, “Aah~! I don’t get what the hell they’re telling me. They speak worse than you do! It makes my head hurt.”  
He laughed, a low growl that licked my ear canal with its tone. “But I’ve been translating everything, haven’t I?”  
“Yes, but your faxes…shouldn’t you just email? Wouldn’t that be much cheaper?”  
“I thought you liked my handwritten notes better?” His fingers pushed into my stomach.  
“True.”  
  
On the glass dining room table, I noticed there were roses. Of course, there were no questions about who they were for this time. I got up after much protest to go look at them. Ryousuke began drowning into his research.  
I shook my head from side to side as I counted each one. This time, there were twenty-seven.  
“Just in case you’re wondering, it means ‘I love you, my dearest,’” he called from the living room without batting an eye.   
  
I still had to get used to him and this embarrassing straightforwardness.  
  
I took out a small gray box from my jean pocket.   
“Hey.”  
“Yeah?”  
“Catch.” I threw the box over.   
He opened it and this time, his entire face became red. Taking out the plain platinum band, he held it up between us.  
I pulled my collar to reveal to him that I was already wearing mine. I placed it on the necklace and chain my mother had given me as a child.  
  
Ryousuke had become the vice director when he arrived a few weeks ago and I was already making headlines as a rookie. In this small amount of time, I’d begun to piece out his character.   
On the phone, he got jealous if I was laughing too hard with others, but he’d never show it. Knowing him, there were annoying things that bothered him but his pride dared not to admit them. On the other hand, I became uneasy when my thoughts slipped into agony that there may come a time that my persistence would fail to protect him.  
  
“I promise I’ll live longer than you.”  
  
He brought the ring down and turned his face away from mine. His arm went up, bringing his hand to his face. A few seconds later, his voice cracked when he answered, “I’ll hold you to that, Takumi.”  
“Of course, Ryousuke.”  
  
  
 ***/*/*/*/*/00000**  
  
Months passed by with days that felt never ending among the scarcity of video calls, voicemails, and letters, both inked and electronic…Already, two years had gone by.  
  
While watching a webcast of an overseas race, we’d spotted a very familiar figure. My face blanched as Ryousuke unruffled manner was self-explanatory.   
The camera pointed to a yellow sign with black lettering. As it focused in, the Japanese read, “Kyouko! Will you marry me?”  
“That idiot,” we both commented to the plasma television.   
“Yes, Darling!” Kyouko shouted from down below as her interviewer pointed up at the bumblebee-colored sign on the bleachers. Before a wide international audience, a frantic Keisuke ran down. They kissed over the partitions and between the metal gates.  
“Told you he’d do it in half a year,” Ryousuke held up the newspaper again in between his hands as I brought my chopsticks to his lips to eat his breakfast mackerel.   
“That’s so fast.”  
“This is my brother we’re talking about.”  
“I totally agree about that, but why do you always make fun of him?”  
“He’s adorable whenever he pouts. It must be out of habit.”  
I shook my head while chewing on the freshly harvested rice I’d brought home with me for that weekend.  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
Three years later and then some, on November 6th, in the tofu hours of the wee morning…  
  
“Aniki. We don’t need to do a video conference. I’m going to see you in a few hours anyway. Ugh, we’re in the same time zone for goodness sake and only one floor separating us! Ple~ase let us sleep~.” Keisuke whined into the webcam as his arms extended out in exasperation. “Oh, hey, Takumi!”  
“Hi Ryousuke and Takumi~!” Kyouko waved happily into the camera from their hotel bed. She tugged on Keisuke’s pajama band. “Darling, just be quiet and listen to him. You know he’s always right in the end.”  
Shaking her head with an air of ‘Oh well that’s why I love him too’ attitude, she sat down to lay out the baby onto the bed, patting Hina’s chest lovingly.  
“You guys always team up against me.”  
“Just be aware of-“  
“All right already. Talk to you later.”  
“Bye guys,” Ryousuke said as I waved from behind.  
  
I stepped into the bedroom while trying not to snicker. “Good morning, Ryou?”  
“Morning.”   
As usual, he made himself at home on the hotel suite desk, clicking away on his trusty laptop. Grabbing onto my waist, he continued to type with his left hand without stopping. I took a sip of the cup of coffee in between my hands and leaned down to bring it up to his lips. “Mmm.”  
“You know, I had an interesting dream last night.”  
“What about?” He stopped typing and turned his head towards me.  
“I dreamt that I was driving down Akina for my tofu run. But when I looked at myself in the mirror, I was older. And when I looked out, I noticed that the hood was a dark metallic orange, but it drove just like the ’86.”  
“It would be nice if they created something like that in the future, wouldn’t it? I’d buy it for you on our anniversary if that’s the case.”  
  
 _There he was again with that pragmatic attitude of his…_  
  
“And I’d have to buy you a what…an RX-9 by then?”  
“We’ll see if the handling holds.”  
Biting his lower lip with a sexy glance upward, he pulled the rim of my jeans and poked my bellybutton.   
“Weren’t you telling your younger brother to get his ass in gear for our race?”  
“That’s him and you’re you. I think we can…” He gave his watch an exaggerated glance. “…have a 10-minute breather before you go on your morning run?”  
“If you say so, Dr. Takahashi. I know you’re looking out for my training and all,” I teased in return.  
“Of course,” he replied when I slipped into his lap. After placing down the empty cup of coffee onto the immaculate desk, I tugged on his zipper…  
  
Looking down into his flushed face, I breathed deeply, becoming drunk at the way his eyes stared intently at me.   
  
_I am sure no one but me would ever see this. This was entirely mine._  
  
*/*/*/*/*/00000  
  
In the early afternoon of the same day…  
  
I was waiting behind the start line. It was just a promotional event in Suzuka Circuit, but to be in the same course as my mother, chills ran down my spine.  
  
In the stands, my dad was leaning against the side and talking to his friend, the one I’d spoken to at Odaiba with his famous green and white uniform, with a smile I hadn’t seen in a long time. Ryousuke held his arms together, his eyes locked on me. His mother sat beside him, looking so youthful and gorgeous you’d think they were not son and mother, especially with Hina in between her arms. She appeared ecstatic, waving Kyouko’s and Keisuke’s baby’s hands towards us. Tsugumi was adjusting Hina's noise reducer headphones.   
  
Itsuki and Kenji sat in the seats below the Takahashi family, both holding a banner for us saying “Go Team!” as Kenta held up a pole, waving his yellow and black flag for Keisuke and Kyouko. Iketani was hugging Yuuya close to him. They were shouting and waving to Mako. Sayuki was cheering, who apparently had arrived with Nakazato. Several seats down, I found an older Shinji next to his mother. He was wearing a shirt with wings on them.  
  
On alternating markers, Mako, Keisuke, and Kyouko were in front of me, also revving up their engines.  
  
When we set off, I was already overwhelmed with emotion.  
  
In the middle of the lap, my head cleared into a dream-like state. Maybe it was the rush pounding into my head or my body going into automatic mode, but my mind almost fully blanked out, as if someone else had taken over my wheel.  
  
“It’s in your blood,” a voice whispered directly into my ear.  
“Mom?” I called out.  
  
In the same moment I’d opened my mouth, I was thrust back into reality once more. A warm sensation came through and prickled the skin of my entire body.  
  
I had finally met her on the track.  
  
 _It’s so funny. On the mountain, I was always fighting against him and here, I’m competing against her…Those crazy parents of mine…_  
  
  
Hearing the engine shift gears through the loud speakers, I found the world that accepted me as I am. I had reached the self that I’d aspired to become, and yet I knew there was more to learn.  
There would be a higher price to pay when the time came, if I wanted to.   
  
_But I’ll be ready for it this time._  
  
I took off my helmet and looked around. Everything became silent and I smiled up at the sun. Nothing could surpass this feeling of freedom and happiness,  
  
of being alive and enjoying that very moment until your whole being could burst.   
  
My eyes began to search for Ryousuke and so, I found myself walking over to the bleachers before they could interview me. Almost moved to tears, he took my wrist over the partitions and put it up in the air for everyone to cheer into a frenzy.  
  
 _This belongs to me!_  
  
No amount of money or even talent could touch such a pure emotion…  
  
Whatever was going to come, nothing could stop us now.   
  
When your heart, mind, and soul could no longer be penetrated by doubt, maybe this was the true meaning of what it meant to be  
  
Invincible.  
  
  
 **Owari. / The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay~! *happy dance!* We finally got to the end! I feel so satisfied as I type this because I had a lot of notes of what I wanted to do. I did this fic because I wanted to regain something I thought I had lost with writing. More importantly, I wanted to savor the flavor of Takumi’s and everyone else’s development.  
> There were times I got very frustrated and wondered why I hadn’t just made a one-shot instead. However because I had done this (and I hadn’t done a multi-chapter for a very long time), I had started to change my way of thinking. It’s harder to read more chapters, but there is also a greater sense of accomplishment in writing and reading the chapters again.  
> And though I love Takumi, it was very hard to write from his perspective because he’s not as straightforward as the others even if he himself is an honest character. But I had to always keep two things in mind: He is young and how much experience does he have in life at this point?  
> Then, I was racking my brain on how to end it, how to explain (reasonably) why Ryousuke had to leave the next year and if he was going to take over the clinic/hospital, I thought it was for researching. And one day, right before I woke up, this whole scene of going abroad played out where Takumi went to chase after him.
> 
> As I said before, Initial D is special to me and with all honesty, when it ended, it felt sudden for me. How can I say that with the 700+ manga chapters and multiple anime stages and movies? I always felt that Takumi was thrust into this other world and though he is skilled, does he really have to fight? He did without really knowing why and then the manga/anime ends. Sure he won all his battles, but I don’t think he truly knew why he was skilled or had the confidence for going into the pros. Was he really happy with how everything turned out? I wasn’t entirely sure when I read the manga.  
> Then, there were many side plots with all these really good, memorable characters. Just for myself, I wanted closure with a lot of them. They contributed to the manga and I wanted them to have a happy ending as well. *waves Kei and Kyouko banner*  
> Plus, Initial D has a feel that represents the ‘80s in Japan. The bubble period had many crazy things, but it also showed endless possibilities as well, especially the ability to seize a distant dream. That is where the title ‘Invincible’ comes from.  
> These were the main reasons why I created this fanfic.
> 
> There are many things I could say for ID, but I think I’ll stop here. I hope you were able to take something away from all this.
> 
> So I am happy you have ridden on this journey with me. I fell in love with ID all over again with you (researching and all). Thank you to all the readers who have been going along for the past eight months, and to the future readers (and lovers of Initial D), I hope you have fun with this, from one fan to another. All your support really gave me the boost I needed.
> 
> Until next read, take care!
> 
> Love,  
> Yui


End file.
